September 30, 2011
“As a gay Jewish white South African, I belong to quite a
lot of minority groups. You constantly have to question who you are, what you
are and whether you have the courage to be who you are.”- Antony Sher
Happy Friday!
Aloha.
Happy Day Two of Rosh Hashanah.
“It’s better to have a bad
harvest than a bad neighbor.” - Almanac 2011
September 29, 2011
“As long as these blood brothers are our leaders, and as
long as your party officials are Jewish lackeys, you will be no threat to the
big money men.” - Julius Streicher
Happy Thursday!
Aloha.
Happy Day One of Rosh
Hashanah.
September 28, 2011
“Although both sides of my family were religious, I was
never forced to practice the Jewish faith. I did not really rebel against it,
but then, as today, I disliked organized religion. I have a strange inhibition
about praying with others.” - Georg
Solti
Happy Wednesday!
Aloha.
Little Thoughts:
Happy Rosh Hashanah on the
almost eve of Day One!
Happy Yom Kippur!
Happy New Year!!!
How wonderful!
How splendid, indeed!
Happy New Year!
How happy and wonderful to
be alive in this human form!
A New Yom!
We made it through this
year.
We arrived at the other end
of our time and we’re breathing.
That’s all we’ve got to do
is breathe and pray.
(I’m asking for much
forgiveness in the next 10 days to come for all of my sins as of this past last
year 2010-2011. I’m saying Yiddish prayers of atonement, forgiveness and
continuous life amongst the pages of the book of life. Oh, dear merciful Jewish
God grant me life with my every breathing prayers of atonement, forgiveness and
life.)
Note: No, I’m not a Jew nor
do I pretend to be one. I’m not a poser.
I’m the adopted blood Maya
Indiana daughter of a Father who is a blood Jew through the lineage of his Mother
and her Mother’s, Mother’s, Mother’s Grandmother all the way back to the days
of the old country and The Ghettos.
Remember.
---- ---- ----
Life: (September 2010 to
September 2011)
[I’ll trying to write as many
thoughts as I can before I lose the light for today and then I’ve vowed to do
nothing much for the next 10 days, but a little bit of travelling in search of
apple pie and pray for merciful forgiveness for this last previous year’s
suffering, anger, disappointment and loss.]
I’m saying many different
prayers from many different cultures across the Earth.
I’ll take the next ten days
to calmly sit in silence, contemplate and pray to the Gods of Humanity for a
merciful forgiveness from all of the Gods as well as all of the Grandmothers
and Grandfathers that once were and walked this Earth. This year I’ll carry a
title in my heart in reverence for breath of any life as “The Year of the
Grandmothers”.
What a long run it was for a
year.
I wasn’t prepared for any of
it!
I wish you love, health,
beauty, happiness, kindness, respect and more love in the coming year
2011-2012.
----- ----- -----
I can get over anything and
I have.
Emotionally, I move on, but
not without making sense of the terrorizing actions of others. In asking for a
deeper understanding of wisdom as to why humans cause mental and emotional
slavery in times of so much worldly wealth in resources and knowledge yet
humans lack wisdom. I’m starting to get it. I’m maturing. I’ll forgive and be
merciful because I’ve always believed the Gods of Humanity to be merciful.
I can forgive. Grudges? Who
has time for grudges? If I’ve gone on and on about anything it’s because I
haven’t been able to figure-out some things and when I do; I’ll never address
that subject matter again, however.
Nonetheless, I must revert
back to the quiet kid that I once was in the jungles because it did make my
Grandmother proud to have well behaved Grandchildren only because it honored
her and I want to honor her memory.
Our behavior as
Grandchildren made our Grandmother happy and I’ll keep her in mind as my beacon
of hope in the year to come. My adopted Grandmother, that is, was and ever will
be the only Mother I’ve ever truly
had. I loved her as my Mother for never terrorizing me not once in her
lifetime. Wonderful. It exists. It’s out there. Not once did she cut me down.
Not once. What an angel.
I don’t have time for
hatred. I don’t have the energy in my body to do that so here it is; I raise many
moments of silence over the next ten days for all those that we’ve committed
wrongs against and all those who’ve wronged us.
I can forgive because I’m
asking for forgiveness to the merciful Jewish God and the Maya Gods more
specifically. Please forgive me for being fallible, imperfect and flesh and
bone.
I ask forgiveness to all of
the merciful Gods of Humanity to grant us knowledge, wisdom and laughter, good
health and peace amongst all of The Peoples who’ve come to be and passed on; to
grant humanity our freedoms to a most merciful and humanely emotionally
intelligent and respectfully graceful interactions amongst peoples in the year
to come.
Our human battle is the
battle of the ego as a global societal culture at the end of an age according
to the Maya before we begin a new dawn; a whole new age. I don’t believe the
world is ending; rather it’s beginning.
I raise a moment of silence
to a new era with more compassion, less ego and more respect towards others and
this means no pretending our lives away in some form or another. Why hold some
warped ideal that the delusion of grandeur is a God only because we’re afraid
to face our fears, weaknesses and struggles when humans know better.
Either humanity will learn
to abolish emotional and spiritual dehumanization in the form of economic
slavery or humans will turn to pray to these idols for guidance in the shallow
symbolism that currency, status and elitism are some types of Gods. If this
occurs then let humans be prepared to live in darkness rather than
enlightenment.
I forgive because I’m
forgiven year after year by a Jewish God of my Father’s Jewish Mother’s people.
----- ----- -----
“It’s better to have a bad
harvest than a bad neighbor.” - Almanac 2011
A literary breathing prayer
of forgiveness:
I’m seeking atonement,
forgiveness and life.
I forgive the children of
the Hasidic (Zionists) Jews; who, throw rocks at peoples’ cars in a Minneapolis
neighborhood and hide behind their parents who do nothing to discipline their
children. I pray for the responsibility of respect in regard towards
surrounding neighbors, travelers and those passing through strange lands.
I forgive the elitist
arrogance of Minneapolis Jews and Gentiles.
No, Gentiles are not
“Niggers” nor to be treated as such.
No, Gentiles are not to be
used as economical, classist and emotional pinching slaves in these
contemporary times; otherwise that makes the Jews out to be no different than
the Egyptians; slave masters.
I forgive the Jews’ history
of living and mating amongst the Babylonians which in turn interracially
integrated two cultures; one, a worshiper of idols, sex and vices while the
other; “The Chosen People”. I forgive this nasty garden variety of lineage in
any peoples’ blood because it’s brought-out some of the worse traits in humans.
Emotional intellectual discernment and reckless spiritual abandonment with a
twist of lazy, patronizing and condescending lime.
I forgive the arrogance of
assumptions made in which Jews portray to believe that others aren’t worth
anything unless they drive the right cars, wear the right clothes and live in
the right neighborhoods.
Look, I forgive because
Gentiles starve, they’re homeless and in dire need of medical attention. I
forgive in hopes that the Jews will forgive in return and give the best of
their intellectually emotional services to the world through humanitarian
attention, just causes and honorable means not only through money, status and
elitism. It’s too boring to contend with spiritual mediocrity. You can work and
have what you want but you can’t snob others while they starve. It’s not good
enough. It’s not acceptable. It never was and it never will be.
I forgive the arrogance of
hot air. I forgive the arrogance in the pretence to be better than people are
at anything in which they’re disillusioned by lust to astute themselves to be
an ideal rather than being satisfied with who they are as living breathing
entities of the flesh and bone for today and now before they seize to exist.
I forgive the arrogance in
making Jewish pornography for future generations to watch. I forgive the
arrogance in the history of past and present Jewish pornographic nickelodeons.
I forgive those who make
their currency and living off of the shame of others though economical sexual
slavery.
I forgive the hoarding of
money in the film industry. I forgive the Jews for literally slamming their
doors on Walt Disney’s face. I forgive the Jews for monopolizing the American
monetary broadcast and film system yet not advancing the societal culture to
higher emotional and intellectual ground nor raising the bar on content
standards and not depicting the many global storylines of many who are
ingenious outside of mainstream media. I forgive the leaders who have chosen to
lead and direct the mediocrity of media. I do forgive this injustice each and
every single day. May the Gods of Humanity be with those who cause such
devastation running through the emotional intelligence of this age and era that
which we exist in.
I forgive the sad, needy,
mentally ill and any rude citizen who considers themselves entitled to be
considered anything other than better than any other species.
I forgive. I forgive. I
forgive.
I forgive the elitism, the
unwavering need to control destiny as Gods - forgive them; for humans forget
that humans are merely mortals and they, too, shall die no differently than the
Gentiles or any other peoples of any other tribes, clans, bloodlines, lineages
and breath of life.
Please, forgive my rude kid
like impudence towards mediocrity, misinformation and manipulation.
Please.
Please, forgive my
nervousness in demeanor towards such a delicate and yet bullying societal
culture. Please, forgive my loud, angry and continuous rants for that which I
don’t understand about the laziness, princess like brat and spoiled behavior of
the Jews and the Gentile Baby-Boomers.
Please forgive my annoyance
towards rude behavior, violence and cruelty.
Please forgive my annoyance
and irritation towards misinformation, lies and wayward speech.
Please, forgive my hatred
towards vulgar, violent and repeated passive-aggressive behavior of those who
chose not to change their behavior.
Please, forgive me for being
impulsive, careless, and outspoken behind closed doors and privately to my
husband or in case of mistakes in front of complete strangers.
Please forgive me for being
judgmental of others’ weaknesses.
Please forgive me for hating
the words and deeds of alcoholics. Please forgive me for taking care of and
letting myself be emotionally punched, ignored, forgotten and disrespected by
alcoholics for a decade.
Please forgive me for
telling it like it is at the age 34; the older I get the more brutally honest I
become. I’m sorry that I didn’t start sooner - Truth could jump start your
heart - that’s how much of a jolt it’s become.
[A breathing prayer for
life; Let it be known that I’m not prone
to telling lies and that I’ve told 14 lies in my life that I can count and
neither do I deny any of them nor am I any longer ashamed of them for the
Jewish God and the Maya Gods absolves me of such lies every day that I write
with strength and honor.
I could also write about the hundreds of lies told to me but I
won’t because they’re not my burdens.
I’ve carried my lies on my back like a cross every day of my life.
I don’t deny any lie that has come from my lips; never in writing
but from my lips. Nor do I deny anything that I’ve ever said or done. I have no
excuses; I’m sorry. I pray for forgiveness every day. I’m waiting for February
2012 to begin writing about one of those 14 lies until I make my way through
all of them; it’ll be seven years since I made the mistake of telling one lie
here in Minneapolis in exchange for another’s life and I witnessed this summer
that that person is still alive.
In 2012; I’ll be absolved by the Gods through the written
language; publically and openly about those specific 14 lies, what happened and
how they came to be and I can’t wait to write all about it. I just can’t wait.
I’m almost giddy and happy. I’ve been waiting 6 years to begin this journey.
Splendid, indeed.
I don’t wear my head in shame; I know who I am; I know where I
come from and I hope for health, prosperity and life wherever I may go. No, no
other man or woman may judge me ever again; only the Gods of Humanity.
I’ve been lied to by many strangers and those that I’ve known and
trusted in relationship to each of us face-to-face. I’ve also been lied to
under the cloak of a belief system of a societal culture at large.
Now, I’ve lied 14 times while in the presence of grave danger
towards others’ health, prosperity and life. I’ve lied under the cunning
pressure and the ill intent of others to eat from the souls of those I’ve met
or known. I’ve protected those who haven’t deserved my protection yet I did it
anyway. Let this be known that as I’m judged by a Jewish God and the Mayan Gods
that the Gods of Humanity recognize in me; justice, honor and repentance for
those words that I’ve committed and created sin. Forgive me God of Abraham and
forgive me; the Gods of the Maya. I’ve sinned, I’ve wronged and now I ask
forgiveness. Dear Gods grant me Strength and honor.]
Forgive me when I’m in
physical pain and I become a little curmudgeon.
Forgive me for being human
and making so many continuous mistakes to cover up for alcoholics. Forgive me
GOD(s) that I’ve lied in the exchange of throwing myself under the bus for
alcoholics’ reputations, lack of consideration, costly ways and humiliation.
I’m sorry that I can’t stand
the smell of alcoholic posers. I’m sorry for that.
Forgive me for hating Yoga
so much because it’s the art of the Babylonians to set up structures without
spiritual historical substance and then selling it to others in the form of a
commodity in the form of holiness. Yikes! Run!
Forgive me for hating that
Yoga was invented in the 1950-60’s for the Westerners of America and yet there
is no spiritual base or foundation but to make money from it and take bits and
pieces of other practicing faiths, religions and histories being that Yoga has
none.
I’m sorry that I hate the
fact that Yoga is as shallow as the Babylonians therefore anything gets made up
and invented along the way or thrown in because it sounds good and it looks
good.
I’m sorry that I hate
holistic posers’ behavior, vending ways and shallowness.
I’m sorry that I’m mad at
the fact that holistic medicine and spirituality has become a commodity in
America no different than prostitution. Trade. Trade. Trade. Never buy
spirituality or religion in the same breath or token in the same way that bees
are never to be purchased with any currency of any Peoples’ of the world.
Forgive me for making the
decision not to hand out money to begging panhandlers because they create an
imbalance in the Universe just as much as prostitution does and for being
appalled at pimping, sex trafficking and prostitution in America / The World.
Forgive me for hating
cocaine and meth users / addicts’ behaviors and their lack in ability to relate
and treat others with decent public behavior in their demeanor.
Forgive me that I get angry
at the mediocrity of awful restaurant service in Minneapolis because I’ve been
offered cocaine one too many times by way too many people in that industry not
to be annoyed by their need to emotionally destroy the very fabric that makes
us unique, beautiful and understanding as a Nation. I don’t judge anybody’s
habits and vices; simply have the common courtesy to keep your behaviors and
public demeanors intact so that you may interact with others more wisely if not
then at least respectfully.
Please forgive me that I
have this disillusionment with Minneapolis that we’re not ultimately a
passive-aggressive culture when truly we are. We take our cues from the
Babylonians - don’t we and that has to change.
I’m sorry that I loathe and
detest the irresponsible behavior of the Jewish-Babylonians’ children in this
century.
Forgive me that I’m mad as
hell at the Middle East Jews for wanting to incorporate the Americans in their Middle
East politics. No, no, no. Please, no.
I’m sorry that I believe
America has no business conducting political affairs hand-in-hand with the Jews
of Israel. I’m sorry that the Zionists are as mean and spiritually corrupt as
the aristocracy of the Maya who cannibalized the vegetarians in the name of the
Gods. I’m sorry that the Zionists haven’t become citizen role models. As long
as their children throw rocks near my neighborhood I will forgive and… what a
pity. Please restore kindness, understanding and love. Please. I ask the
Zionists to be kinder if there is any God left in their hearts because the
Gentiles suffer as it is.
I’m sorry that I don’t like that World Jewish people have become
wayward in their social cultural understandings and responsibilities. I’m sorry
that I hate vulgarity and classism therefore I embody it with my motor mouth
and outdoor voice to portray its ugliness so that others may learn what it’s
like to embody that type of arrogance which they find justifiable as so do the
Gentiles find such behavior justifiable. What is it with this 1980’s cultural
movement to pretend that others are better than others? We really haven’t evolved have we?
I’m sorry that our entire
contemporary structure of marketing and advertisement was set up by a Nazi
campaigner (German Nazi Party member Joseph Goebbels
became Adolf Hitler's propaganda minister in 1933, which gave him power over
all German radio, press, cinema, and theater). And now we’ve become “the
children of the corn” lead by subliminal images and emotional messages of Nazi
propaganda in all of our marketing and advertisement campaigns; emotional
dehumanization at all costs; be it served cold or sweet. Be afraid of the
“boogie man”; which doesn’t exist. Ah, how boring. No? Yes!
I’m sorry that I was taught
to believe that 30,000 Jews died in the Holocaust not 6 million. I’m sorry that
I hate misinformation to be used as part of a global manipulative tactic.
I’m sorry that I hate the
hatred behind misinformation.
I’m sorry that after three-four
generations after the Holocaust the Jewish people of the World use the
Holocaust for martyrdom. I’m sorry that I think this is a philosophical and
ethical conundrum and dilemma anyway I look at it.
I’m sorry that I loathe the
behavior of those who terrorize others and pay no retribution for the abuse
they’ve caused.
Now, I’m really starting to
lose the light of today. Dusk is around the corner.
Forgive me for not liking
the misbehavior of my neighbors this last year. Forgive me for not getting along
with them.
Forgive me for hating the
misbehavior and misconduct of heroin junkies. Forgive me for hating their
seductive, manipulative and alluring ways and their disregard, disrespect and
lack of dignity when dealing with those who are not heroin addicts like them.
Forgive me for not wanting to make documentaries about prostitution and heroin
addiction in Minneapolis. Forgive me but I just can’t put myself in that type
of danger even though those films need to be made; not enough respect for a
filmmaker from those sectors of population. I know and I hate it. Forgive me.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive. Please
forgive. Please forgive.
I’m sorry that I had so much
loss this year. I’m sorry that it’ll take us two years to make up for our lost income
this year. I’m sorry that I’m so tired and ready to become a hermit in this
societal culture.
I’m sorry that I want to
swear so much in my writings as well as verbally when there are so many more
specific words that can be used. Language is the most beautiful thing there is
to me in life and I hate that I misuse it because I hate the misuse of behavior
in others.
I’m sorry that no matter how
difficult I work on swearing - it’s still yet a weakness of mine.
I’m finally beginning to
lose the light.
I must go now and begin
Yiddish sundown prayers.
The next time I write on
this blog it will be after Yom Kippur / Jewish New Year and hopefully a most
merciful God of the Jews will forgive me for all my sins as I have publically
and privately asked for forgiveness.
Here we come, food!
After fasting for one day
beginning at sundown on the symbolic rebirth of forgiveness of Yom Kippur and
the revival of life.
Note: We dance and feast
sundown of Yom Kippur October 8th, 2011. If you’re a man in public
and you tell me something like; “I can fuck you real good”, or “I’m sure you
can give great head” or “tell him how we fucked 15 times tonight” then I’ll no
longer verbally fight you; I’ll just call the police. Mark my words. I put up
with this selfish and mean spirited culture; therefore you will have to deal
with your own police force if you’re harassing a woman much less a stranger in
public. Got it?
Cheers.
Peace.
Gabriela
P.S. Men, too, can have “de
la” in their names but it means something doesn’t it?
P.S.S. (I just took a deep breath no matter how “dorky” that may seem to
anyone. I’m learning to breathe and when I do I’ll bet anything that I’ll
harness my surfing skills. Swimming lessons, here I come! I must become a
stronger swimmer, nothing else to it; I just wish swimming wear was more modest
for those of us who aren’t models rather World citizens. I have a two way
ticket to Costa Rica and I think it’s time to go home to play in the New Year
2012. )
Note: (Yes, I’m working on my
indoor voice no matter what subject matter I’m addressing especially when I’m
at the doctor’s office when I’m nervous and scared to the dickens to be there
in the first place for a simple check-up still yet that’s not any type of
excuse. I’m sorry for getting nervous in medical establishments. I’ll work on
my indoor voice and my swearing in the New Yom Kippur Year to come.
Basta!
Enough.
I’ve got a lot of personal
goals for this New Year. Who doesn’t? If you don’t have personal goals then one
must wonder how you get closer to any God(s). I’ll overcome my fears because
they’re modern ones like going to the doctor, the dentist and a decade long of
hanging out with raging alcoholics and dry drunks. I’ll just have to get over
it. I don’t like going to the doctor’s or dentist - what a little kid, ha? Ha! Ha! Ha!)
September 27, 2011
“All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish,
Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to
terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.” - Thomas Paine
Happy Tuesday!
Aloha.
Men, too can have “de la” in
their names but it means something doesn’t it?
Little Thoughts:
Okay, ready. Can you
ride? Can you catch a wave? Can you balance on your own two feet and another object
at the same time? Yes? Wonderful. Ok. Here we go. Just relax and let go and
become balance, space and movement all at once. Simple, right? Right. Learning
how to balance is much like trying to play any instrument for a decade and you
still can’t get a decent sound out of the fine instrument with your poor skill
set or it’s like watching an alcoholic try to sober up every single day of
their lives; it’s like watching a kid learn to ride a bike on training wheels.
Moderation brings balance which creates adventure, maturity and grace. I’m
striving towards that ideal; and, nothing.
Hang on! Here we
go! It’s going to be a literary skateboard ride because this is what it is.
Keeping the balance while travelling at speed and dodging obstacles. Ha!
----- ----- -----
(Corrections; about
the Maya underworld usage of Western writing as “Gods” or “Demons” vs. folklore
translation to “Elder-Deity-Entities” or “Wise ones of all life and death
Knowledge” in English. For the lack of
better linguistic words from the Maya into Spanish and then into English.)
Western societal culture
translates and writes; “two ‘Gods’ and 10 ‘demons’ of the Maya underworld”.
Okay.
I write and believe the
words and concepts are “The Seven Elders of ‘Xibalba’” (underworld) from folklore;
nothing more and nothing less. Nevertheless, let it be known that the “12 Gods”
or the “7 Elder-Deity-Entities” of Xibalba are indeed those who were existent
before the light was ever created.
Therefore, these underworld
“Species” / “7 Elder-Deity-Entities” have the power of wisdom and death through
the ages.
Whether they be “Gods”,
“Demons”, “Elders of Agelessness” or “Tricksters” they have power that humans
don’t posses and that is evident
because the “7 Elder-Deity-Entities” are the “Gatekeepers” not of hell, per say, rather of an underworld of humiliation and /
or death or both or none.
Mayas don’t, per say, pray
to the “Gods”, “Demons”, “7 Elder-Deity-Entities” or “Tricksters” of the
underworld yet Mayas do have a great deal of respect as we would anything far
wiser than us as a human species whose limited capacity to understand life and
death must evolve to a harmonious humane vibration and harmonize.
(It’s commonly known that
the “Demons” of ten; (pair-up in groups of two) which equals five “’Minor’ of 7
Elder-Deity-Entities” and two Death “’Higher’ of 7 Elder-Deity-Entities”; which
equals seven as a total representation (of the “Tricksters”, “Humiliating
Deities”, “Semi-Human / Semi-God” forms which can be tricked in turn as the two
Maya theological mythological twin brother characters portrayed. Humans can
give a great deal of suffering if not death to the “7 Elder-Deity-Entities” of
the underworld; “7 Elder-Deity-Entities” may be powerful creatures still yet
they’re not Gods like the God of Maize. Are they, now? How to explain this?
I’ll find the words, somehow.
Are you with me thus far? Don’t fall asleep. It’s not
that boring of a theological lesson - its theology and our mythological stories
to remember fables to learn from. Nothing could be more exciting than theology
and mythology combines. Well, okay eating dripping mango juice straight from
the mango fruit on a hot jungle day… Moving on. Next.
Most likely, (I won’t speak
for everyone); no contemporary Maya will try to say prayers to flesh
and bone of any other species rather Mayas will pray for the life breath of
each and every essence of creature yet the Maya will and can and do recognize
the spiritual power of life and the “alma’ - the soul-body source / divinity of
each breath in the living spirit of any species. You’ll have to think about it; won’t you?
Why would the Maya kneel
down before another of flesh and bone, object or place when we recognize the
divine power of the Universes? We know better. Flesh and bone is not the Gods
rather flesh and bone is fallible / imperfect no matter how emotionally
intelligent any species may become and that can be said for machines as well.
(The prayers and symbolic
concepts are far more complex than I have time to explain.) (It will take me
years to write poetically and lyrically about the theology and the mythology of
the Maya Indians and human modern development through wisdom and technological
emotionally intelligent advancements.)
There must be one surviving
copy of the Ancient Maya religious texts still yet in existence amongst the
Universes. Thus is life.
There must be some
recordings of our ancient texts; no different than the Dead Sea Scrolls and we
know our history all too well; we’re fortunate to know what we know.
Like the Egyptians our texts
of libraries were also burned.
Not just one single text,
rather our libraries of records.
A whole civilization wiped
out clean of written knowledge except for a codex and that’s not the whole
complete story; is it? It’s like saying only the New Testament is the whole
word of God. No, there’s always more to the story when text gets slaughtered,
burned and lost with mal intent towards those who uphold decency,
respectability and wisdom as far back as (2,500 years ago) 500 BC - to the
times of the Roman Republic, the Egyptians and The Persian Empire. We were
‘rock stars’ of Mesoamerica at that time.
What a shame to pillage a
civilizations’ texts of a Peoples of the World.
Without wisdom our species
(the human race) will not evolve as progressively as we ought to have by now.
No, I’m not saying to uphold some crazy idea that a fast societal culture will
be a happy one.
Frankly, with all of these
new technological advances I can’t believe more people aren’t more relaxed and
confident about the future, world politics and socio-economics.
Furthermore, humans must
know their past in order to know our future.
[Thank the Gods of oral traditional storytelling folklore form. Thank
the Gods for that. No, I’m not a storyteller. I fail at that every time. I’m a
writer; a scribe of the times; a recorder of interactions; nothing more and
nothing less. If my writings don’t get burned then I can add to a library of
ordinary and mindful citizens’ writings to record our time and era in which we
live. I can write about anything from under garments to how to squeeze juice
from a modern juicer machine.]
Mayas don’t pray to idols
nor do we serve them as a divine will.
We understand the power, fragility
and beauty of life in the form of flesh and bone yet these are not our Gods and
we don’t pray to them still yet we pray for their ability to exist and arrive
at a place of a deepest understanding, factual knowledge and emotional
intelligence.
We pray to the divine power
of wisdom and the hopeful prospects of humane evolutionary skills towards the
good-will of all.
Bam!
Nothing more and nothing
less. (I’m not a theologian so don’t
quote me here. I may have to make further regional Maya Indian and Western
corrections and I’m humble; I’m willing to do that for your sake more so than
mine.) I already know how I feel about the theology and the mythology of
the Mayan religion’s humaneness, learning and evolution.
I’ll not kneel before an
idol made of flesh and bone or any object for that matter and especially to a
group of “7 Elder-Deity-Entities”.
I mean to express more
precisely yet more correctly “Tricksters”, “Death Wise-Ones”, “Challengers”,
“Death Gatekeepers”, “Keepers of all life and death Knowledge” and most
importantly “Competitors” / “Adversaries” and possibly “Enemies”. If they don’t
kill you first then they’ll humiliate you to the core of your soul-body by
physically injuring you.
Therefore, the Maya require
their wits to live conscious lives of respect, wisdom and modesty as well as
brutal honesty. No different than any other religion, truly.
I suggest that if you ever
find yourself in the Maya underworld to remain standing at all times, please.
When the “7 Elder-Deity-Entities”
offer you a seat remember that the seat will be as hot as fire heated by hot
coals and it will burn you; because that fire has been burning since the
underworld began.
If you burn your buttocks
then you won’t be able to fight for your life in the following houses; dark
house, cold house, jaguar house, bat house and razor house and (hot) fire
house. Got it?
The two underworld “7
Elder-Deity-Entities” (pairs of twos with the exception of the two major
entities); they complete each other like the “pus Deity and the second pus
Deity” - they go hand in hand and create infection.
No, the “7
Elder-Deity-Entities” of the underworld are not our friends, but they are wise
about death and life.
Furthermore, the “7
Elder-Deity-Entities” of the underworld are from a time before there was light,
however and nevertheless, the “7 Elder-Deity-Entities” of the underworld are
not the Makers and Creators of the Universes. Are they, now? No, of course not.
They’re the “Gate Keepers” of five or six houses that either brings about
humiliation or death or both or none.
Let’s not get this theology
confused because it could bring much pain and suffering to any Maya Deity of
the underworld. The folklore teaches us mythological constructs through
historical or mythological figures to think about the many choices we have to
balance a “Good Life”.
If there are indeed “gods”
in the Maya underworld or “demons” then I don’t have a fat chance in hell in
outwitting a pair much less “7 Elder-Deity-Entities”.
Game over before it even
begins.
I was taught through oral
traditional storytelling folklore that the “7 Elder-Deity-Entities” of the
underworld are there to either ridicule or kill you or both or none. Two things
are for sure in the Maya underworld; death or infinite consciousness in
reaching “Flower Mountain”.
The folklore has been ‘lost
in translation’ due to terminology and comprehension in historical meaning and
poetic justice. I’ll find the English words even if it takes me the rest of my
life to do so.
Peace.
Gabriela
P.S. It’s public record as
any golden law of humanity; anything that is written by any emotionally
intelligent being is and will forever be public records for all to learn and
gather knowledge and wisdom.
“Duh.” as the fifth graders are
so fond of this expression.
I love that expression. It’s
so irritating under the skin because you know that you know better and it’s
blatantly staring you in the face.
Again adults like to pretend
that the “Emperor has no clothes on”.
Funny!
Funny to watch adults squirm
because they know better yet they pretend to go along with the insanity of the
Emperor. Yikes. Run. I do. You can run alongside with me on this literary run
and please remember I can run for hundreds of miles if I had to but right now
I’m eating a hand full of organic chocolate. Yum.
So the “7
Elder-Deity-Entities” of the Maya underworld are twelve, yes; everybody knows
that! Right? Right.
----- ----- -----
P.S.S. These literary
observations are not about me. They’re not.
If you think - that, then we’ve missed the entire point
of the writing exercises. This is how I was taught to write when learning about
the fine art of writing. Did that make sense?
[I live my life; I already know what I think and I’m beginning to learn
how to feel about what I think objectively or not about anything. Behavior;
actions dictate an individual’s self respect, honor and responsibility.]
My writing classmates, peers
and contemporaries as well as professional professors in public and private
institutions held brutally honest open forum dialogues with every single story
that we’d write.
Constructive criticism isn’t
about you; it’s about taking a mediocre or undeveloped skill set and applying
some serious knowledge to anything that can potentially become well crafted and
then. Bam! There it is.
The fine art of writing
something authentically real because most writers I’ve ever met are racing
against time to write not only well and more importantly prolifically honest
manifestos and reflections.
What else is there in the
arts, but raw energy, brutal honesty and a freedom to express the times in
which any artist will ever live to witness and develop their crafts?
As a professional artist; I
find that I wanted to grow and develop publically in some manner of an open
forum because that creatively emotionally intelligent process would keep me
extremely honest.
If I’m willing to write
about any observed subject matter then that means that I’m willing to forfeited
fear for knowledge and wisdom because knowledge brings about wisdom and that’s
a major way that the human consciousness will evolve.
Yes, I found my “voice” as a
writer.
No matter what; it’s
authentic to this soul.
Understand.
Every soul is unique in the
Universes (another blog for another day).
The point is this; the
observations have mostly to do with the relationship of one opposing view point
vs. anything else.
It’s a skeptical voice which
waivers between understanding and not understanding.
Mistakes get made yet humans
know that it’s not in the mistakes rather it’s in the awareness of correction,
responsibility and obligation to truth that can be backed up by facts as a
historical reference to a people, a societal culture and a place.
If I were to write any word
and it makes sense to one person beyond me then hopefully you’ll learn a lesson
to apply lessons learned to your lives so that the same mistakes don’t become
offensively repeated without any atonement, forgiveness and continuous life.
September 26, 2011
A lot of black people believe that Jews in this country
have become white. They behave like white people rather than Jewish people. - Toni Morrison
Happy Monday!
Aloha.
September 23, 2011
“A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman
made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.” - Henny Youngman
Happy Friday!
Aloha.
September 22, 2011
“A Jewish man with parents alive is a fifteen-year-old
boy, and will remain a fifteen-year-old boy until they die!” - Philip Ross
Happy Thursday!
Aloha.
(Yes, I hate my behavior of
regressing to swearing on the blog once again. I wanted to make it as human
friendly as possible, yet I went against ‘squeaky clean’ measures because the
societal culture is less than stellar and frankly inconsiderate, so I should
try harder to make it a consideration not to swear on this blog. Nevertheless,
I regress and it still doesn’t take away from the importance in the sentiments,
information and conveyance. Either you’re an adult or you’re not. I’m finding
this out quite quickly. A thicker skin, perhaps?)
Corrections have been made.
I know-I know, quotations and words that sound similar are the bane of my
existence as far as writing goes.
I don’t hate anybody.
I bite my thumb at thee.
I may write that I hate
others but I don’t. I’m a Taurus baby of 1977. We don’t like to be mad about
anything if we don’t have to. We just want to eat the grass out in the nice
field with flowers while watching beautiful blue skies.
I can’t waste my life like
that; hating others - I’m too lazy for hatred.
Nor will I resort to such
disgraceful manners, however. I hate many behaviors. If you get
emotional-and-spiritual butt rash, then stay home and don’t frustrate others
with your scratching and neediness to have your ass scratched. Better yet, seek
help.
I love Shakespeare. Frankly,
it was Mr. Shakespeare that taught me to swear. I love it all!
My favorite play in the
entire world is “Much Ado About Nothing” as well as “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”
by Mr. William Shakespeare.
When I die and become star
dust; before “dust to dust” takes form I want to meet with my ancestors
face-to-face and ask them many questions, then I’ll be prepared to pass the
tests of the two Maya Death “gods” and ten “demons” (Correction; from “seven
elders” to twelve Death “gods”; I have my
reasons for writing as I did; not everything translates) of the underworld
and their five or six houses of challenges or tests; (I just hope it’s not the
house of Jaguars; that test looks difficult); Anyway, before all of this
happens after I pass from flesh and bone to pure energy and consciousness;
there are some people I’d like to meet and I’ve put in requests to the Gods to
grant me such meetings and my first one is with Mr. William Shakespeare. I have
many questions for Mr. Shakespeare. Yes, Indeed.
----- ----- -----
We won’t be making our
deadlines this year nor will we have a new documentary on the docket for free
public screening or for distribution. I feel like crying but I won’t. I’ve had
worst setbacks. I’m over it. I’ve dried my eyes and now all there is to do is
to roll up my sleeves once again and go to work. I’m loved and I love that’s
all that’s important. We have many people counting on us and so we place one step
in front of another.
I’m breathing through it
all. I really am. No, no yelling or screaming for three weeks now. I’m on a
roll. I’m on fire. I mean cool fire. I mean calmness even when disappointment
sets in. Yet, I still have to re-learn my indoor voice and that’ll come with
time once again. We’ll try to complete two features for the remainder of 2011
and 2012.
There won’t be a premiere
2011 and that executive decision was made this morning. Okay. Moving on. Next.
I’ll need a stiff adult
drink tonight. Something, organic and vodka. My mouth just watered thinking of
an apple martini. Just one will do. Thank you. Ah.
We’re also not eligible to
apply for Sundance this year as of this past Monday. The entry form guidelines
changed and well. Nothing.
We also made the executive
decision this morning that we’ll always
have free and open to the public World Premieres in our neighborhood(s),
wherever we are or on the Western Hemisphere.
We’ll continue to screen for
free and open to the public as a service to our communities on the silver
screen for our Western World premieres because if we shelf our films for the
next few generations then at least they had one official opening night
somewhere in the world before they get dusty and forgotten.
Frankly we can’t leave it up
to any film festival circuit to screen on the slight-off chance and possibility
that we’ll be one of 10,000 entries with our late $100.00 fee and entry form to
premiere at somebody else’s screening. Weird, ha? Plus, seriously we’d be two
years behind premiere schedule if we waited for the international film
circuits’ screening rather than our own. So, because it’s a film circuit
contest where we’d have to pay money to have our films viewed we had to make
our own executive decisions that we’ll keep on track to stay on a long term
towards our initiatives and mission statement. It’s that simple.
I thought premieres were for
the directors and everybody to enjoy a much deserved break and recognition after
all the hard work and play was over for each film project. So we’ll keep it
that way. We enjoy a night of relaxation nothing more and nothing less. I’m
wearing jeans and a T-Shirt to the next premiere.
Do you see?
We think like responsible
artist adults; we don’t leave anything up to chance when it comes to launching
a piece of art work into the world and like a birth and a marriage it must have
an announcement; somewhere and somehow in the world before the films die.
Otherwise, it’s like the films were never here and then they’ll come and go
just like shooting stars in the morning skies.
It’s important for the
public to know that something was crafted and completed and most likely never
to be seen again. “You should move to Europe.” He tells me confidently. “There,
they respect their artists. They take care of them.” I smiled faintly and
thought about his thought.
I was taught at film school
to always premiere; it makes a film official under your own stamp.
We don’t want to premiere at
some International film festival circuit when we’ve got our backyard to give
thanks for the food that we’ve been able to put on our table and we pay taxes
to this city, so there it is. Simple as apple pie. Nothing fancy. I’ve had
apple pie on the brain for three weeks. I just can’t make up my mind as to
where in the Midwest I’d like to have apple pie. Maybe this weekend I’ll get
around to it.
We were hoping to premiere
in a town of a hundred or so citizens this year in Northern Minnesota but we’ll
have to put it off. We have responsibilities and love. Ciao.
Peace.
Gabriela
P.S. Later I’ll blog about
all of the titling in Spanish names; for example “de la” is used legally and
officially; really only by “Donas”;
married women who marry into a clan, a family, a land or a tribe. Just thought
you’d like to know. “del” or “de” is definitely masculine. If you don’t know
how to use these extensions and forms of name titles than it’s probably best
not to use them or you’ll get confused for the opposite sex by those who know
what it means. Are you a man with a woman’s title; like a lady rather than a
man? I don’t get the misuse of these name titles in the United States. Is
everybody okay with their gender identification? Men, too can have “de la” in
their names but it means something doesn’t it?
September 21, 2011
“One of the great problems with Americans is that - being
a decent people - they assume that everyone else is equally decent.” - Meir Kahane
Happy Wednesday!
Aloha.
If my foes were on fire I would throw myself on
top of them and have them roll all over the ground, if my foes were caught on
train tracks I would do everything in my power to help them get loose, if my
foes were being stoned to death I would jump in and guard them from such
atrocities, if my foes were about to be dragged off to a lynching site I would
do everything in my power for them to be freed.
I know love. I have love.
Immense love. Unconditional love. Agape love. I know love for she knows me and
thus I will and can and have forgiven many in my past, even those who’ve drawn
blood, brought physical bodily harm and who’ve lied, stolen, conned and
manipulated. I’ve forgiven and I’ll continue to forgive for as long as I live.
Now, go home.
Please, if you don’t have to
pretend then let’s get to work. Americans know respect so let’s implement this
into our societal culture. Please. Jewish Rabbis, I’m asking you. Please. When
did we begin to confuse status, power and money with spirituality? What
happened? Are the Jews wandering the desert again? (Correction; from
“wondering” to “wandering”; big difference, no? Yes.)
Are we going to be at this
wandering for a while?
Our skin is elastic and
stretches as far as memory can. Skin sheds therefore we understand passing of
time nothing more and nothing less. We’re going to die, someday. So this is all
I know, that when I’ve met my foes on public streets I haven’t been remotely
aggressive or destructive towards them; any of them can tell you this as light
is day; I’ve been respectful to them no matter what atrocities have befallen.
People will fail each other as they [always] tend to do and sometimes others
more than others.
----- ----- -----
Personally, I believe that
anybody can and does get over difficulties, challenges and injustices and
disappointment. It’s part of maturing. For the last two days as I’ve washed
dishes at my kitchen sink I’ve busted out laughing out loud at the vulgarity
that was this past year, yes. Moving on. Next.
Side note: [I married a grown man. A man of forty-eight
years of age. As a mature grown woman there is nothing in the Universes that I
can do to stop the chemistry of flirtation.
Women and men have been flirting since the beginning of humanity.
Nevertheless, for young women if they’ve taken to insulting wives directly to
their faces then please for the love of Gods have the good breeding manners not
to flirt with their husbands because then the slap across the face is your own.
You can’t pinch the other kids in the sandbox and expect to get away with it
without the other kids screaming their heads off. No pinching. It leaves
bruises. The other kids will do everything in their power to put you in your
place if you’re out of line and order. A bully. Well, bullies. And lies about
it. Simple as that.
My husband knows that he has all the freedom in the world to walk
away from our marriage at anytime and also to sleep with any woman he wishes.
Why not? Who doesn’t have that freedom and what separates the boys from the men
is respect. There is nothing in the World that a woman can ever do about any of
it or a man for that matter. So, the question is this; how do men and women get
to the next stage in evolution when it comes to communication in everything
that is said and done between the sexes?
We just do. We get on with everything because thus is life.
Jealousy, malice, malcontent and envy are weaknesses that we must
all overcome still yet let’s not use others in this evolutionary process for
exploitation, slavery or objectification. Grown adults don’t want nor need any
more responsibility than they already have to handle everyday real life.
My life is not a sitcom. My life is quite real and I try to be the
best person that I can be daily with strict and clearly direct boundaries in a
culture that frankly lacks consideration. I don’t pretend that I have a camera
filming my every move. I’m an adult and I’m so ‘nice’ that I have serious
boundaries set in place and I suggest that everybody else does also.
I wake up in the mornings with a spring in my step and I’m so glad
to be alive. I’ve had that spring ever since I learned to walk and by now I
know I won’t give it away for free.
No matter what the challenges and the insincerity of others; I
forge forth because I have real work to do. I can be a violent writer, but this
is for sure; you won’t catch me taking my shoe off and banging it on any wooden
desks. I’m not like that. Nope. I prefer peace over malice. But malice is
tricky isn’t it? It’s difficult to describe but it leaves you feeling like
someone sucked all the life from your soul. Mean. Mean little kids ‘in the name
of love’. They’ll pinch you and think they can get away with being pinchers
throughout the rest of their lives.]
The trillion dollar question
is this; will we continue to contribute and raise children in such a
spiritually, morally and ethically mean place as Minneapolis? Yep, I wrote it.
Get over it. We’re all adults here.
A thicker skin, perhaps?
“Pick your poison” the
Americans use a lot as a phrase but what they don’t realize is that the magic
in the medicinal antidote is life saving when they’ve been bitten by their own
poison by another of their type. Pity. As a snake of the Chinese Zodiac (Ah,
the horoscope is like eating candy). I carry poison as well as the power to
give life in the form of an antidote. That’s power that can’t be touched. Not
even in death.
More later about Maya Indian
theology about the serpent unlike Christianity we respect the power of anything
in nature that carries poison as well as an antidote in the genetic makeup of
any living creature. What an enigma!
“We live in a mean country.”
My Father said to me over the wire. “Never, believe that the only thing you are
is your looks and your body. Never fall for that. That’s not who you are.” My
laughter travelled miles over the wire, “Dada, I never have for a single moment
and I’m not going to start now.” We laughed a good laugh. What a sincere man.
I’m happy to be working at
all of my weaknesses and gathering strength. I am. I can’t imagine dreaming my
life away in some lollypop world inside my head. No, there is some real stuff
happening in the world that is brutal, cruel and downright sinister. I’m not
okay with that type of darkness no matter what religion people express their
views to be at.
If my foes nod or address me
in public then I nod and address them back. Nothing more and nothing less. I
can and am cordial and frankly happy. I’m not a witch. I’m Tica ‘nice’. I will
address anything directly to you and to your face if need be; nonetheless, no
harm has ever befallen my foes because I would never wish them to be harmed in
any way. I love my foes, how can I not? If I can hate their behaviors then I
can love them just as well.
If a tragedy would’ve struck
our foes; (we pray that it never does) then we would’ve done everything in our
power to secure their safety for all.
No two ways about it.
It’s a great duty not an
honor to extend the gratitude of life to anyone whether they are deserving of
your humanity in the form of a service without any strings attached or any
expectations.
I don’t need or want
anything when I’m directly interacting with a friend, stranger or foe. I’m
curious about the world and want to know more. People are everything.
Yet they pretend to be
entitled, bratty and disrespectful because frankly someone fed them a line that
they were never important-enough to anybody else and because they fear
abandonment.
My duty as a human is to
secure the safety of an entire peoples’ through respect, sincerity and brutal
honesty. Yes, will you ever be able to tell the brutal truth; otherwise,
everything, is a lie like any other lie - no matter how well you preserve it and
cover it up; at least preserve some type of dignity if our societal American
culture is sinking like the Titanic then I’m willing to go down with the ship,
but don’t lock me up in third class and expect me not to fight for my survival
and my future young without any prospects of breath. Please, no. Do you expect
me to drown without a prayer while locked up like a prisoner in third class?
I’ll travel third class and not complain about it just don’t murder me by
locking me in. I have freedoms, you know?
I have no reason to ever be
disrespectful to anyone, and if I have something to address then it’ll be done
in person one-on-one and face-to-face. I was taught never to be afraid to
address any subject matter nor to be afraid to use a single word. I practice that
daily because it’s my gods’ given breathing right.
Gabriela
P.S. Nothing. You already
know how I feel about many aspects of life. Yes, I’m thinking about many
current events and the political weather.
P.S.S. I keep thinking about
buying a building. We were going to buy our flat here in the city about a year
ago; only because we work in the city but that doesn’t seem to be everything to
keep us here plus our elders are still alive so we stay in Minnesota out of
respect for our lovely elders.
The landlord made us the
offer to buy the house last September and never got back to us. Fine. Now, a
year later he’s made the same offer at 400 grand. Fine. (It’s not fine and we
know why). But the foundation is cracking and there is cement dust in the
basement as well as the third floor has bats and dead birds living there and
nothing is sound proof.
So. I keep thinking about
buying a building. My Dada keeps telling me that it’s quite simple. He’s told
me in the past that once I find a warehouse and or a building that I like then
that he can help me figure out how to do the paper work and logistics.
Excellent. And, no. I’ll not be inviting the public in. Lo siento. Sorry. I
need a studio, no, not a single room; a; something that I haven’t even thought
about yet and no, I don’t want to partner up with alcoholics. We’ll do it on
our own as any other mature adults do with the cheering of their closest
friends of 24 years.
September 20, 2011
“Being a Jew, one learns to believe in the reality of
cruelty and one learns to recognize indifference to human suffering as a fact.”
- Andrea Dworkin
“Above all, this country is our own. Nobody has to get up
in the morning and worry what his neighbors think of him. Being a Jew is no
problem here.” - Golda Meir
“Being a Jew is like walking in the wind or swimming: you
are touched at all points and conscious everywhere.” - Lionel Trilling
Happy Tuesday!
Aloha.
So much has happened in the
last year and four months.
So much has emotionally challenged
me to the bone and has left me exhausted.
My neighbors will be moving
out in less than two weeks and that brings me so much joy to see them go. I
hope to the Gods that we never meet again after relating to their lack of
character, miscommunication and an unwavering ability to compromise.
On the outside I look like a
raging lunatic and I was because of all of the yelling I did behind closed
doors and in private with my husband but ultimately intrinsically I met people
who lacked judgment, moral fiber and had an innate need to control everything;
so I screamed like a child to annoy and piss the shit out of them because my
vocal chords were something that they would not control. I even smoked 100%
tobacco cigarillos in the bathtub twice this year to spite their clean squeaky
- ‘let’s pretend to be nice’ masks. Yeah, I didn’t like them and they didn’t
like me so I won’t lie to you here because it’s futile.
Also, I’m getting rid of
alcoholics in the same way that flies drop from walls. Alcoholics make me crazy
and somewhat of a dry drunk therefore they can all go to hell. Oh, wait they
already are. I dislike alcoholics very much for thinking that others should
automatically assume a position of caretaker. It’s like saying “bend over while
I fuck you out of your dignified and respectful lifestyle” - (no different than
my neighbors) except that I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of bending over
after our first disagreement.
At the age of thirty-four I
was told that I wasn’t allowed to smoke cigarettes in my damn garage. Like
hell! I wasn’t looking for anybody’s permission much less a bullying-abusive
mother character. People who are controlling can go to hell and I’m actually
being considerate about it. The things that I could write would leave you chilled
to the bone.
I’m about to begin a search
for a meditational center without posers and I’ve met plenty in my life so stay
clear - I’m getting too old for that shit. Please do not sell me spirituality
and holistic medicine. Please, no. Like the bees you never sell them for money
its bad luck. You only trade bees.
We’d like to try having
babies again in about a year but before we get pregnant I’ve got to find my
Zen. I had balance before the ‘girls’ upstairs moved in and then it went to the
dogs.
For the last four years
we’ve never had any problems with any of our neighbors until this year and it
was a disappointment, frankly annoying and a waste of a lot of time. I’m nine
months behind production schedule this year because it’s very difficult to cut
a feature to a herd of elephants stomping day in and day out for over a year. I
should send them a bill for a hundred grand and leave it at that.
I became a screamer with my
husband over the last year and four months and that is my own fault, choice and
way of releasing stress; which according to my Father now I just have to work
on my mouth motor skills and come back to a center of balance. “You haven’t
always been angry and a screamer so you know you can calm yourself to a place
of inner peace.” My Father said to me over the wire yesterday and may the Gods
bless him for reminding me that I haven’t lost my wits. I’ve come close to
wanting to brawl with my passively pushy yet non-communicative aggressive
neighbors but we kept the peace at all costs, thankfully.
I think about leaving
Minnesota every day. Everyday it’s a struggle to stay here and make a go at it
because frankly the Minnesotans are mean little kids and if they think you have
no power anywhere in your life than they’ll rob you of your privacy, time,
energy and patience. I spoke to my Father about their demeanor throughout the
year and frankly he found these young women’s behavior quite rude.
I look forward to our
neighbors moving out. I had a terrible year with our neighbors. They apparently
thought that we were doing dorm living and thus knocked on our door weekly for
months on end for help; from how to wash their dirty underwear to how to work
the internet.
Personally as a newly
married woman of two years I found myself greatly annoyed with two women in
their early thirties who acted more like they were twenty two than thirty.
I’ve had a decade of real
life under my belt and yes, if you ask me how you should wash your stinky
underwear then you’re going to piss me off in ways that you don’t even know or
most likely you do.
I get tremendously pissed
off at the lack of consideration such as that of drunkards. No, my neighbors
weren’t alcoholics, but they might as well have been because they looked like they
wanted to beat the shit out of me every time I ran into them and at the same
time they wanted me to help them out yet they had no consideration for our
lifestyle, work and process as a couple. How can they be social work graduate
students? My goodness. Ask them how many times I knocked on their door for help
in one year and four months. Not once. Not once. I’m self sufficient. Thank
you. If I was on fire that would be one thing but how to work the washing
machine I figured that out on my own at the age of eleven.
Yes, I became a yeller and a
screamer behind closed doors with my husband and my neighbors have a lot of
gossip on me. Frankly, whatever has been spoken between my husband and I - is -
between us and if you hear it anywhere else then it’s either a matter of
opinion or gossip.
I bet you all the money in
the world that my neighbors could hear me loud and clear throughout the last
year because most of my bitching was about them and it was meant for them to
hear; otherwise they already know how I feel about them and made no pretense
nor apology about my demeanor because I won’t. My neighbors’ actions were at
times so appalling that I thought about telling them some ugly truths about
each one of them. I thought about breaking them. I thought about making them
feel as small as they made me feel yet I didn’t. I was the bigger person after
all was said and done they still have their private body parts intact. I’m only
joking.
Every goddamn day for one
year and four months our entryway held bikes, bike gear and recreational
outdoor gear. Our neighbors took the liberty to take over that space for over a
year not even seasonally because they felt like it. Even though the garage
became a major stink about having to lock it up every time. What for? Their bikes
were all over our entryway where guests are greeted.
Mind you, we have an entire
basement and garage. It was imperative that we get a garage key over a year ago
by a pushy request by one of our neighbors, so off we went to make garage keys
for everybody because somehow it became out responsibility to make sure the
garage was locked and secure for our neighbors’ bikes. Well, guess what? The
very entryway that we had spent an entire weekend painting two summers ago is
now scuffed up and full of gear. It’s embarrassing frankly that we could not
properly receive and greet our guests without the entrance of our home looking
like a bike shop or somebody’s dorm room.
When our neighbors could not
work the dryer or the washing machine it became our job to help them figure out
the machines each and almost every time. Do we look like the landlords? Our
neighbors took the liberty to knock at our basement’s inner door if they needed
help with the washing machine and I thought; ‘I don’t know you. Do not knock on
our inner house door especially when we’re sitting down to dinner or on New
Year’s night because your load of laundry is more important than our New
Year’s.’ Get a grip and grow up.
Our neighbors had it in
their heads that we were here at their expense. Our neighbors had it in their
heads that we were to serve them and so we did but it cost them because every
time that they complaint about my smoking or this and that then I went on
screaming raging ranting sessions and I’m sure they loved it because they are passive-aggressive
manipulators. Not once could the graduate social-workers come to us and say, “
‘we’re so sorry that we’ve taken over common spaces and that we seem to need
help on a weekly basis month-after-month. What’s bothering you and how can we make
this a more livable situation.’ ” Not once did they provide solutions to their
needy and pushy behavior. Needy and pushy the worst combination ever! I was
appalled by these so called women because they could smile at you while they
ripped the wings off of butterflies.
No, don’t you understand;
women who feed off of the torment and disgust of another woman is not only a
control freak but just a mean freak in general because they get off on the
suffering of others. They like it. They eat it up and then they smell their
fingers afterwards to see if their fingers smell like Cheetohs. I hate their
behavior; all who’ve repeated this same pattern of cruelty year after year. I
hate their behavior for being so quietly reckless and spiteful. Whoever marries
these types of women; I wish them my love, respect and my deepest appreciation
for their humanity. There goes a nice set of balls and there is nothing a man
can do about it and he knows it; not if he wants to get laid or have some type
of harmony.
I’ve been working from our
city flat for the last four years when we’re in the city and our landlord last
summer put in a new floor in the upstairs flat and I’m telling you; I’ve spent
over the last year listening to elephants run and stomp up and down a long
Boston row flat.
When I finally got up the
courage to bring it up to my neighbors a year later (face-to-face) this August
2011 my one neighbor gave me a sneer and told me that it was my problem. She
pretty much told me in that ‘nice’ Minnesota way to go fuck myself. I loathed
her most in that moment for being so apathetic to an entire year of having to
put up with her snotty attitude and taking over common areas. I told her that
it was their problem also otherwise, she knew better; she could hear me
screaming night and day if I wanted to.
I hate behavior like this
for not knowing how to stop their train wrecks. They’ll leave and I’ll never
see them again and I’ll go back to my Zen personality. My peers, contemporaries
and others can vouch for my character that I don’t complain nor fight unless I
sense some serious danger to my person and I did with my neighbors. I didn’t
trust them for being two-faced with me and then sickly nice to my husband. They
knew all too well what the power struggle was.
I found my neighbors to be
extremely passive aggressive. What was I expecting yet at the same time they
told me what I could or could not do. Could you imagine people having the gull
to tell another adult how to live their lives? I gave up on my neighbors early
on because I knew what they were. They were two grad students who most likely
look great on paper but in character they’re bullies and mean. They lack
character and that’s something that’s written all over their skin. I wouldn’t
want to touch that with a ten foot poll if you paid me. No, Sir! I hope to the
Gods I never see their faces again just thinking about their mean faces makes
me mad.
Anyway, it was a year and
four months of pure hell and I survived it and I’ll never yell ever again
unless someone is on fire or caught in the middle of train tracks. I’ve decided
to start learning how to play the Minnesotans game and when I learn it I’ll
make sure they choke on their own mean demeanor, yet I’ll serve it to you sweet
so you don’t guess right away that what I mean to say is to ‘go fuck yourself’.
Why serve it cold when you can serve it sickeningly sweet.
Supposedly my neighbors are
Jewish; (I can’t believe that they’re practicing Jews.) If that is so in their
case then please say Yiddish prayers for Yom Kippur because what a nightmare
for neighbors, both of us. These neighbors have shown themselves to be horrible
Jews as so have I in my yelling and complaining demeanor but no more. I see a
light at the end of a tunnel.
I don’t play the ‘let’s pretend
to be squeaky clean’ game and turn around and manipulate you. No, Sir!
You know what’s the worst
type of neighbor?
One that is sickly-sweet to
your husband / a flirt even and in turn a complete passive aggressive cunt to
your face. No different than one who pretends to be a victim to your anger when
you’ve never even given them reason to fear anything except their manipulative
measures.
Know this; when I’m a cunt
I’ll do it directly to your face and I won’t pretend to punch you with
sweetness. Mean little Minnesota fuckers. Mean. If you’re a type of person who
can’t handle urban living then go back to wherever you came from because you’re
not doing anybody else any favors. You’re not progressive enough to make it in
a city.
Gabriela
P.S. None of this is gossip.
My neighbors already know all of this to be true and a lot more. I’ve told them
to their faces how I felt about all of it. I hate their behavior and they know
this to be true as well; just as much as I hate manipulators’ and alcoholics’ misguided
behavior. Goodbye, don’t let the door...
P.S.S. I’m saying Yiddish prayers going into what I celebrate as my New Year; Yom Kippur 2011. I forgive you assholes and that goes for everybody and anybody who is inconsiderate and manipulative. I see you. Don’t think that you can act like little children and get away with it. Not on my watch. I’m too old for that shit. Did somebody make poo? I’ve met so many horrible Minneapolis Jews that truly it’s left a horrible taste in my mouth. Frankly these types of Jews would commit genocide if you let them because they have no consideration for their fellow humans. I just gave you the middle finger. It’s your turn; bend over motherfuckers. No character whatsoever.
September 19, 2011
Happy Monday!
Aloha. No Blog.
September 16, 2011
“Be as smart as you can, but remember that it is always
better to be wise than to be smart.”
- Alan Alda
Happy Friday!
Aloha.
Howard Roark the character;
it’s so easy to want to hate him, if you can’t understand his character.
September 15, 2011
“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming
better than you are.” - Julius Charles
Hare
Happy Thursday!
Aloha.
September 14, 2011
“Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no
answers.” - Janis Joplin
Happy Wednesday!
Aloha.
September 13, 2011
“Belief is the death of intelligence.” - Robert Anton Wilson
Happy Tuesday!
Aloha.
September 12, 2011
“Every true genius is bound to be naive.” - Friedrich Schiller
Happy Monday!
Aloha.
September 9, 2011
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this
time more intelligently.” - Henry Ford
Happy Friday!
Aloha.
September 8, 2011
“Genius always finds itself a century too early.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happy Thursday!
Aloha.
September 7, 2011
“I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that
I can borrow.” - Woodrow Wilson
Happy Wednesday!
Aloha.
September 6, 2011
“I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure
pick smart colleagues.” - Franklyn D.
Roosevelt
Happy Tuesday!
Aloha.
September 5, 2011
“An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.” - Albert Camus
Happy Monday!
Aloha.
September 2, 2011
“Always be smarter than the people who hire you.” - Lena Horne
Happy Friday!
Aloha.
September 1, 2011
“Action is the real measure of intelligence.” - Napoleon Hill
Happy Thursday!
Aloha.