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Policies into Bills to be made into Laws

 

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

 

Anti-prejudice women laws, or anti-prejudice gay and lesbian and transgender and transsexual laws, or open “Free Trade” markets, or Monopoly regulations, or EPA expansion, or universal free healthcare, or universal free Higher Education, or gun regulation laws, or anti-brutality police regulations and laws and anti-gun violence regulations and laws against black men and other minority citizens and civilians, or free childcare, or increase taxes on the wealthy, or friendly environmental laws, or free early childhood classes, or free public school lunches, or ending this 17 year long warfare in the Middle East and redistributing funds to veterans’ welfare and educational infrastructure, or immigration reform, or rightly so turning corporations back into what corporations are which is institutions rather than lending a false identity to corporations as individuals, or no oil pipeline through the Midwest’s heartland, equal pay for equal work, single payer healthcare system, or raise the minimum wage to $21.00 (twenty-one American dollars) hourly rate per increase (height) of annual inflation in the markets according to Mr. Bill Moyers’s information and research, or voter suppression laws, or free media without politicians’ threats or bullying or intimidation against the Free Press’s journalists’ or reporters’ lives who must get home in-time for supper and a bedtime story, or modern American infrastructure such as public libraries and public arboretums and public gardens and public sculpture gardens and public solariums and atriums and public planetariums and public graveyards as safe municipal services to all American private citizens and civilians or, or, or…etc.

 

Saturday, June 25, 2017

 

Life in Duluth, MN

With Bob Monahan and Co.

 

          Hello.

 

          First of all: as of Thursday, June 22, 2017 I lost my cell phone at “The Red Herring Lounge” Duluth, MN on First Street around 9:30pm, four seats in, on top of the bar stool.

 

          If an area code (612) cell phone under the name of “Holm” is found then please return the 2013 Samsung “string can” cell phone to Mr. Bob Hugh Monahan at “The Red Herring Lounge.” Thank you.

 

          Funny how ever since the invention of cell phones I don’t remember anyone’s phone numbers the way we did in the 1990’s since we only had land lines.

 

          No, Bob Monahan isn’t a cocaine addict.

 

          Yes, I’ve watched Bob Monahan do nothing except make home-cooked meals for his daughter and roommate’s children and myself as guest.

 

          Bob Monahan works and runs a city of creative professionals and is fair and kind and smart and intelligent.

 

          No, Bob Monahan doesn’t have hundreds of women.

 

          Yes, Bob Monahan as of now factually communicates with two specific women.

 

          Both women are consenting adults.

 

          he women understand they willingly participate in an open relationship with Bob Monahan.

 

          No, I’m not poly-amorous since I don’t like to sleep with anymore than one partner at a time.

 

          Yes, someday I’d love to remarry.

 

          More importantly, I’d love to fall in love with a gentle and kind human who doesn’t think of me as an afterthought or someone to fill up space or have to entertain another person for the sake of having to make another person feel better about themselves.

 

          No, please, stop asking if Bob Monahan and I are lovers.

 

          No, neither have Bob Monahan or I ever been lovers.

 

          No, goodness, no.

 

          Bob Monahan and I haven’t ever even slept in the same bed.

 

          Bob Monahan and I haven’t ever French kissed.

 

          Bob Monahan and I haven’t ever seen each other naked.

 

          Peace.

 

          Okay, let’s talk business:

 

          Yes, on Tuesday night I ran away from home until Monday morning when I’m due in downtown, Minneapolis, MN present at corporate business.

 

          Yes, I’ve been writing program code for a phone company.

 

          Yes, I must set in place, and install and run the program designed from scratch. If the program doesn’t run then back to the drawing board.

 

          Yes, I’ve designed and re-invented the house vacuum and the plunger, still yet I must get patents, however, at this very present moment I have no money to my name to invest and purchase and pay for several of many patents I must get.

 

          The patents will come later under the many intellectual properties I must copyright and acquire.

 

          Nothing’s wrong. Nothing’s ever truly wrong with me. I came out of the womb “happy go lucky” with perpetual bad hair days, high intelligence and smarts and much kindness.

 

          As of this moment, I simply want to run away to Tibet where our families’ best friends live, however.

 

          Tibet is now part of China. I’m not in any mood to deal with Chinese anything. Plus, my mandarin is right down awful.

 

          Well, as of this week in Duluth, MN, neither have I found a single place to rent or anywhere to work.

 

          Let’s talk a little bit about money since discussing money is absolutely rude while in mixed company, however.

 

          As a modern individual the last thing I’m afraid of is to talk about money since money runs the world.

 

          At the going rate, money appears to burn up in an instance.

 

          At the moment, at home in the bank in Minneapolis I have $8,000 in cash to my name and not one penny less or one penny more.

 

           Personally, I don’t gamble since “The House always wins.”

 

          Yes, for eleven years of marriage I’ve been frozen out of all of our accounts and finances. As of today I know none of our passwords or security codes to anything.

 

          As, of December 31, 2014, unbeknownst to me I lost all of my multi-million dollar investors to my current legal partner and husband.

 

          Ever since mature adulthood life began, I’ve been sending money to Costa Rica and El Salvador plus help out with one family in Sudan and one family in Somalia and one family in Haiti thus personally I have about 60 mouths counting on me to make sure people, families and villages eat and I shan’t let them down since I haven’t all these years.

 

          Now, I’ve been offered to make money throughout summer 2017 if I fly into Los Angeles every Wednesday to work as assistant producer for commercial shoots then fly out and back to Minneapolis each Friday.

 

          Furthermore, my non-cancerous uterine fibroid tumors make travel nearly impossible since the jarring movement of cars and planes is absolutely one of the most painful aspects to go through with constant vibration against the uterine wall as the tumors shake and vibrate this way and other ways while the tumors grow and push the bladder and the colon to make more room or space for the tumors.

 

          Eating anything is nearly impossible.

 

          Eating anything is painful.

 

          Yes, the culinary arts is my one and true love, aside from Duluth, MN yet food is nearly one of the most painful experiences and Duluth, MN has very little to no commerce to speak of.

 

          Even though I don’t have any real money to speak of at the moments I’m able to catch a ride by private jet to Barcelona each Monday and Fly back each Friday for the rest of the summer.

 

          Yes, I’m able to live in Cape Cod, although, I wouldn’t ever return to MN. I’d stay near the sea and write novels.

 

          Yes, I’ve been invited to many different places in Europe and live for free in until I’m old and grey and write, however.

 

          Europe is by far too volatile as of late.

 

          Yes, I’ve been invited to go to Saudi Arabia and not ever worry about another financial aspect of life, however.

 

          Saudi Arabia and censorship and I don’t do well for being a modern woman without even a pot to piss in I must get at least one say in my life which is my independent writing.

 

          Since writing is the only thing I’m actually excellent at then I must sacrifice money for the love of writing since eleven years as a part-time housewife didn’t get me anywhere other than to the cleaners.

 

          Although, I’m in Minnesota, I don’t have the finances to fly myself into Boston’s Logan airport to catch our family’s private jet plane to Barcelona.

 

          Personally, I don’t think I ought to go to Barcelona since my former multimillionaire ex-lover lives there with an entourage which follows him around and the entourage yacht and swim and do nothing all day while beautiful women look gorgeous in bikinis, however.

 

          Nope. I’m not an entourage bikini clad type of woman.

 

          What would I do on a yacht all day long? Go insane.

 

          Yep. I’m more of a go to the woods and escape and run away and disappear to write and read and dictate recorded notes for transcribing writing later sort of woman who is shy and according to my friends extremely awkward.

 

          No, I don’t believe I ought to go to San Fran since my other ex-lover lives there and is a famous sound engineer and I don’t want to go back. I want to go forward.

 

          Yes, I ought to go to New York City since the powerhouse publishing houses of the world are in New York City.

 

          There’re many people with private jets of their own flying in and out of Minnesota thus if I were to chose to then I’m always welcomes to catch a ride anywhere in the world as long as they’re going the same direction.

         

          The frustration about Duluth, MN is I only have two years to live on a meager stipend of $1,000 then, nothing.

 

          No, I shan’t have any money to go out or drink or whatever.

 

          Plus, I’m the type of modern woman for which is naturally skittish and runs away from people any chance I get.

 

          Duluth, MN is the love of my life, however.

 

          There’s no work in Duluth, Minnesota.

 

          My plan isn’t to go to Duluth, MN and do menial work or intense labor since my body is now 40 years of age.

 

          After eight straight years of living with non-cancerous tumors I’ve finally slowed down except for when I walk since I’ll always walk like a Bostonian.

 

          Well, Monday morning I’ll go home.

 

          On Monday, July 17, 2017 I’ll have my third operation for the removal of non-cancerous uterine fibroid tumors.

 

          Thus and therefore, I’m not able to make a commitment to flying in and out of Los Angeles each Wednesday and each Friday.

 

          No, I haven’t done any work search in Minneapolis.

 

          No, I don’t know anyone in the world except old money which old money doesn’t call in favors.

 

          Old money gets in the way of modern living since old money is a mind set for which going down such any particular rabbit-hole can only mean being owned by dusty old rules for which no longer exist.

 

          Personally, I’d rather own my way otherwise my placement in my family places me as considerable odds with my core values.

 

          Ultimately, I may fall back upon 1066 old money from our ancestors’ privilege as Lords right after the “Battle of Hastings.”

 

          No, the last thing I desire to take on in life is to become anyone of my parent’s companion.

 

          Nope.

 

          Okay, I don’t have any money, however.

 

          The only real power I hold is we’re connected to all of the right people with “old money.”

 

          New money is subbed upon since it’s new and hasn’t had 951 years to accumulate.

 

          Personally, all I want to do is write the next great American novel composed of about 1,000 pages.

 

          Since I don’t have any more multi-million dollar investors then this could possibly be my last blog entry since I no longer get paid to blog.

 

          Although, I’ve now completed 7 years of online blogs.

 

          The practice was tremendous.

 

          Yes, my other option is I may also go back home to my current legal partner and continue as I have for 11 years of marriage although I’ve been asking for a marriage for the past 11 years therefore there’s no reason to go back.

 

          Must go forward.

 

          No backwards.

 

          There’s only one call I must make to a famous friend who lives in Scotland to possibly make an introduction to Mr. Bill Maher since I’d like to know more about Mr. Maher’s writing and intelligence and know-how.

 

          The Duluth economy looks difficult.

 

          Choosing to move to Duluth, MN might in some ways be the same as to choose to go to Detroit. Maybe, not as bad.

 

          Yes, I’ve been invited to move to Arizona except I don’t like dust.

 

          Okay, Duluth, MN gets my commitment for one year to write the next great American novel while I meagerly live on $13,000 per year.

 

          Ultimately, I don’t want to have to admit, however.

 

          Most likely Los Angeles will hire my creative writing skills and Duluth will lose out on talent since starvation is not much of an option only since I live in dire pain if I eat, too, much or, too, often.

 

          Personally, I’ll fight to write the next great American novel in one year’s time and not worry about money since one year is all Duluth, MN gets then possibly a second year to shop around the next great American novel.

 

          Otherwise, Los Angeles is on my docket of September 1, 2020.

 

          If I’m able to finance the blog come this fall then I’ll do it on my own.

 

          Yes, I’m personally able to pick up the phone and call Mr. Bill Mayer directly, however. I do believe I’ll wait for a formal introduction from my famous friend then an introduction won’t be as awkward and more of a trust worthy connection.

 

          In any case, whenever and if I were to decide to go out to Los Angeles then I’ll personally introduce myself to Mr. Bill Maher since I’ve been told I ought to introduce myself to him and not be afraid of what he’ll say or think or do.

 

          Yes, my friends tell me I’m the most awkward person in the world.

 

          Oh, well. I smile.

 

          Duluth doesn’t terrify me in the way it did when I was 23, 24, and 25 and starved for three straight years. No.

 

          Duluth, MN seems homey and comfortable and real.

 

          Downtown, Duluth, MN is where I belong.

 

          Yes, my goal is to create a Manhattan or Soho lifestyle in the middle of Duluth, MN.

 

          Personally, I’m extremely urban and I like an N.Y.C. vibe even if I were in the smallest of cities as long as there’s water and spectacular views of the sunrise and sunset.

 

          No, I don’t like the sand or beach. No.

 

          The beach isn’t for me. I already have a one inch scar on my left check to prove the malignant melanoma.

 

          Well, Los Angeles, I do believe I’ll eventually must go there and write for television since $13,000 per year might be the lifestyle and adventure of a lifetime.

 

          No, lack of money is the least of my worries.

 

          Writing’s something I’ve always done with or without pay thus most likely I’ll drop dead in front of some laptop, happily typing away and writing about life’s observations.

 

          Well, I’m calm.

 

          No, I’m not scared.

 

          No, I’m not frightened.

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

         

 

          Would I fall in love one year after a divorce?

 

          No, absolutely not.

 

          The second year after a divorce? Maybe.

 

          However, the man I’d like to fall in love with would most likely need to be extremely laid back and forgiving and monogamous and kind and gentle and generous and perceptive and soft spoken (not mute) and intelligent and smart and funny even though much of life gets lost in translation.

 

          The next time around I marry for love as I did the first time, however.

 

          The next time I marry I must be loved back in the ways in which I need to be loved.

 

          Depending on what Mr. Bill Maher smells like I’d like to ask him out on a date. I’m no longer afraid to ask for what draws me near since I can make it happen simply because as a blue blood I own the social trump card to meet and/or get to know anyone in the world and such currency is worth more than money.

 

Word Count: 2,438

 

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

 

“For thirteen years, I taught my tongue not to tell a lie; and for the next thirteen, I taught it to tell the truth.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Alimony

 

Note. “In the first century before the Christian Era, Jewish wives began to receive a specified and secure sum, in case of a husband’s death or a divorce, from the husband’s estate. The ketubah (marriage settlement contract”) granted a wife a legal lien on her husband’s estate; and by rabbinical laws, a wife was not permitted to release her husband from this obligation. (This protected women from the amorous chicanery of men who might seek financial concessions (indulgence, compromise) before committing themselves to matrimony.)

          Orthodox Jews still maintain the form and guarantees of the ketubah.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Amalgamate (unite, combine, come together)

 

Two business firms may amalgamate for the best interest of both.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: 2:31pm CT, 4:50pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

***

Graduate Class of 2017

 

          Thank you to all of the graduates’ parents and family members and teachers and professors and administrators and staff for getting our graduates of the class of 2017 to this podium.

 

          I’m grateful to be here today with all of you.

 

          Thank you for inviting me to be a part of such a glorious celebration.

 

          I’m not really sure as to what wisdom to best bestow upon anyone person since each individual is the only one who can and will walk their path in life towards growth and development and wisdom and old age and death and legacy.

 

          There’s nothing I can say which will stop the course of anyone’s’ lives from occurring to them.

 

          I’m a blank canvas since there’s always much great wisdom to grant nonetheless on such a tremendously incredibly wonderful day of celebration I almost ought to stop writing and have us be on our merry way, however.

 

          Since we’ve taken the time to journey and arrive at this cross road before we say our heartfelt warm goodbyes and get on with the rest of our lives then let’s begin with words of wisdom which one may not possibly expect to learn in the academic field.

 

 

****

First.

Nothing.

 

          First, nothing’s ever promised or forever.

 

          Second, nature trumps humans.

 

          Nature wins over humans.

 

          Nature wins each time.

 

          Nature will be here long after humans are gone.

 

          The dinosaurs are humans’ main lesson in life.

 

          Whenever humans die then pets eat their humans.

 

          Third, women are indeed and in fact “second class citizens” to men since there’s no “equal pay for equal work” well into the first two decades of the 21st century.

 

          Fourth, the world didn’t end in 2000.

 

          Fifth, age is a matter of opinion.

 

          Sixth, mind over matter.

 

          Seventh, it is a fact of life:

 

          Being a fulltime stay-at-home housewife or fulltime stay-at-home mother or fulltime stay-at-home single parent is lonely and financially destitute business.

 

          There’s no money or financial freedom or financial security in being any fulltime stay-at-home housewife or fulltime stay-at-home mother or fulltime stay-at-home single parent.

 

           Being a fulltime stay-at-home housewife or fulltime mother or fulltime single parent is lonely and financially destitute business without many, if, not, then hardly any breaks throughout the days or years or decades or without romantic dates or without eating out at restaurants or without going to movies or without hardly any vacations, if, lucky then maybe each five years or without thoughtful gifts since fulltime stay-at-home domestic work is on-going and hardly ever ending or hardly ever noticeable to others who don’t domestically contribute to any of the household’s chores or property maintenance.

 

          Fulltime stay-at-home domestic work is no different than being a butler except the modern position comes without any pay or tuition or vacations or healthcare or retirement.

 

          Fulltime domestic housework is taken for granted.

 

          Fulltime domestic property work takes time such for example in small comparison to house chores, ironing one shirt alone takes one good hour to excellently iron any Oxford work shirt and another 30 minutes to iron out the pants and suit jacket or another 10 minutes to gather and take out the trash or another 20 minutes to organize the recycling and break down cardboard or another 2 hours to vacuum or another 2 hours to mow the lawn or another 2 hours to shovel snow winter after winder for decades on end without so much as a thanks.

 

          There’s nothing lonelier in life than to chose and decide to be a fulltime domestic partner for the financial advancement of another person without any pay or overtime pay or healthcare benefits or sick leave or retirement or stocks or bonds or vacations or gifts or romantic dinner dates for decades at a time. 

 

          The only way in which one is at all remotely capable and able to even so much as consider acquiring any type of fulltime domestic partner (who will go through their own type of personal living hell for another) is, if, one’s actually and able to financially afford to keep the fulltime executive domestic partner financially secure without forcing the fulltime domestic partner to go without any resources or much of any for decades at a time.

 

           The only way in which one is at all remotely capable and able to acquire any type of fulltime domestic partner to stay home fulltime is if one is able to afford such a partner otherwise it’s considered “indentured servitude.”

 

          Modern institutional marriage is a broken down system from which we must recover from the aftermath and shock of complete disaster such as to legally bond partners to each other while possibly full time stay-at-home domestic partners have a higher probability to be left with nothing after decades of free “indentured servitude.”

 

          There’s hardly anything to ever look forward to since retirement and vacations are out of the question when one isn’t able to or capable to afford a fulltime executive domestic partner without having them be gifted or received or granted any freedoms much less pay or compensation or sick leave when one isn’t able to afford any fulltime stay-at-home domestic partner rather only a domestic slave or indentured servant confined to another’s lifestyle or power or decision as to how to live without any education for decades at a time.

 

          It’s unfair and unsafe for only one partner to hold all of the financial freedoms while the other partner has nothing even though the fulltime domestic partner does all of the work at home or on the property without any breaks or time to themselves or time to think or time to even consider what they want out of life other than to clean and organize and schedule another’s life for the purpose of their success.

 

          In our modern and present civilization and nation the most difficult jobs and work which go unpaid and without healthcare benefits or salary or retirement or sick leave or overtime paid is fulltime stay-at-home spousal domestic workers and fulltime stay-at-work single parents who have absolutely no money to their names not even to go out once for a cup of coffee every four to six months or ever.

 

          In the United States there’s an entire fulltime stay-at-home domestic work force which goes unpaid and are indeed slaves to their financial partners.

 

          Unpaid work is considered slavery or indentured servitude.

 

          Reiteration: To hold the luxury to be able to have any domestic supporting partner agree to fulltime stay-at-home work is tremendous of one partner to give up their careers and lives to schedule and run and support and manage and maintain and give up all of their independent financial freedom for the financial well being of only one partner especially if anything were to go awry in the relationship.

 

          In contemporary dusty old culture, fulltime stay-at-home work frowned upon and looked down upon.

 

          To run an entire property as well as manage the day-to-day household operations and occurrences and events as well as kindly and intelligently and smartly care for and raise children without any money to call their own is nothing to sneeze at.

 

          Still, yet, the laundry must be washed and dried and folded and put away and dishes must get washed and dried and put away and floors needs to be vacuumed and household finances to be maintained and balanced and moral support to be granted to the financial partner at the end of long day’s work of exhaustive physical labor without much communication to the outside world or without much human contact or community for support to fall back on when the pain of repetition gets to be, too, much and each day doesn’t ever end without any end in sight is a lifetime confined to solitary confinement and loneliness and drab repetition without any support or community.

 

          For fulltime stay-at-home domestic partners and workers without any pay or any compensation or vacations or romantic dates or gifts or healthcare or retirement or sick-leave or any cash at all is a daunting task which appears and seems to be a lost cause and without much significance and not any fun.

 

          The United States is a dusty old nation based on dusty old cultural ideals which no longer exist.

 

          Dusty old ideas about what constitutes pay and what doesn’t unlike Norway which pays fulltime stay-at-home domestic spouses a monthly stipend for their greatest services to their nation which is to keep households and neighborhoods safely together and the culture progressing forward without breaking anyone domestic partner’s back for free or without breaking the fulltime stay-at-home domestic partner without any breaks or end to their on-going forever work and more work and more domestic work and never-ending moral support without much moral support back of their own as domestic spouses who in America seem without worth, however.

 

          If one’s ever been the fulltime at-stay-home domestic working partner then whoever does the most grudge work holds the most power in the relationship since modern “indentured servants” work for free for the benefit of financial partner unless the financial partner is actually able to factually finance a fulltime stay-at-home partner otherwise, no, go.

 

          Each time the fulltime stay-at-home domestic working partner looses their independence and freedom which in general according to human bi-laws there’s no amount of money for which is ever able to compensate for the loss of financial freedom as well as autonomy (self-governance, self-sufficiency.)

 

          Eight, no one ever truly signs up to be a fulltime stay-at-home single parent, hence don’t go forth and multiply. No.

 

           Unless it’s an emotional and financial stable lifestyle choice in relationship to the financial partner with safe conditions and ability and time to properly raise children who are needy and take up way more time than necessary as well as extreme patience and much physical care throughout the entire days of their youth until children’s cerebral brain chemicals mature at the age of 35 and either adult children are sane or either mentally ill or mentally disturbed or brain damaged or whichever.

 

          Mental illness is chemical imbalance in the brain.

 

          Immaturity is character weakness.

 

          Character flaws are nothing.

 

          There’s no such absurd thing as character flaws since humans are continuously and constantly evolving and developing and progressing forward.  

 

~~~

Autonomy is Freedom

 

          Marriage is a dusty financial institution.

 

          Marriage is a rigged financial institution to only favor money.

 

          Marriage is for the rich and wealthy.

 

          Marriage isn’t for the educated with much debt.

 

          Marriage is a financial institution to favor the financial partner who makes money and not the caretakers of the world.

 

          Marriage is a financial institution which doesn’t favor any fulltime stay-at-home domestic working partner or single parent.

 

          Marriage is a financial institution for which mainly and only one parent fully attends to the each needs of any individual single child while the other parent takes care of business or leisure or social time away from the home.

 

          Marriage is a financial institution for which doesn’t favor parenting or fulltime stay-at-home domestic values or domestic workers or communities or families or neighborhoods.

 

          Marriage is a financial institution for which modern relationships no longer abide by.

 

          Marriage is a financial institution for which doesn’t equate happiness.

 

          Marriage is a financial institution of “school of hard knocks.”

 

          Mainly, most citizens especially politicians are criminals.

 

          Mainly, there’s no “school of hard knocks” since student loan debt is the number one concern on most graduates’ minds.

 

          There isn’t any “school of hard knocks” when we’re overly educated fools with more student loan debt than we’ll ever know what to do with and not much compensation for such overly educated debt.

 

          Mainly, student loan debt is a lifelong prison.

 

          Mainly, any woman’s real power in the world is to have and hold onto their own bank accounts and to stay single.

 

          Mainly, any true woman’s power is to make their way in the world and not to settle down or commit to marriage or children unless there’s monetary compensation in it for her.

 

          Mainly, once women get married then women lose their entire freedoms.

 

          Mainly, once women have children then women lose their entire sexual worth.

 

          Mainly, hence women have children then women lose their worth to men.

 

          Mainly, being single is by far more powerful than taking on any partner’s debt and be sunk by it as any fulltime stay-at-home domestic working partner.

 

          Mainly, marriage is an institution based on lies.

 

          Mainly, marriage is a flawed institution not to ever be entered into lightly.

 

          Mainly, women’s power is sexuality therefore, men must be quiet and not sexually molest or sexually assault or sexually harass women since women don’t have much of anything in this world thus women hold all the power unless or until women give their power over to men which men are no different than women.

 

          Each sex wants and desires to be taken care of with very little responsibility.

 

          Yes, men will say anything for sex.

 

          Yes, men are mainly after sex.

 

          Yes, women, too, are mainly after sex, however.

 

          Women are emotional.

 

          Men are also emotional in different ways than women.

 

          Remember to put on a condom and raise some hell.

 

          Peace.

 

          Love wins.

 

          Marriage wins only when love is present and one partner isn’t seen or objectified as a means to an end.

 

          Humans aren’t object.

 

          Humans are to be cherished and respected.

 

         

          With All My Love;

 

          Gabriela

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

          P.S. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have other more pressing matters to attend to.

 

          See you on Wednesday, September 20, 2017 from Duluth, MN.

 

          Have fun.

 

 

Word Count Goal: 2,000, Commencement Speech

 

Word Count: 2,271

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 2,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count: 1,271

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #26 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #20 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #91 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Monday, June 19, 2017

 

“In heaven, they do not grant half-favors.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Commiserate (sympathize with, show sorrow)

 

You commiserate with a friend who has suffered some loss.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

The Most Dangerous Time

In Any Woman’s Life,

Is Right Before

A

Woman

Leaves

Any

Relationship

 

~~~

No Blog

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: 1,000 private journals

 

Word Count:

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 2,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count:

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #3 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #3 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #26 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #20 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #91 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Friday, June 16, 2017

 

“Neither good nor bad lasts forever.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Ligature (a tie, bond, bandage; line indicating connection in writing)

 

Fancy ligatures tend to conceal the basic form of the letters of the alphabet.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: 6:19pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

          Personal Notes:

 

          No, I haven’t ever been tried nor convicted of any crime.

 

          No, I haven’t ever gone to jail not even for one single night.

 

          Yes, within the last decade I’ve actually done and completed “jury duty.”

 

          Yes, some of my personal best friends of the past twenty years are mature adult men and women who are tremendous writers and artists and logical thinkers and kind and smart and intelligent people and calm and cool and collected while under fire as mature adult men and women in blue whom I respect with Ut-most admiration and concern for their on-going well being and health and wellness and peace and liberty to be intellectuals and think for themselves rather than “group think.”

 

          No, we’re not in any type of legal financial trouble.

 

          No, there’re no attorneys at this table here tonight.

 

          Yes, I’ve more or less been financially on my own since I’ve been 12 years of life and in 7th grade began part-time work at our private school library and learned Latin in exchange for the work.

 

          No, my adoptive parents (August 24, 1987-present) shan’t ever pay two pennies rubbed together or get me started in life since we don’t hold any type of such financial relationship ever since I’ve been 24 years of life (May, 2001) I’ve paid my way no matter what otherwise I stay home and read and do research and love a well written modern sitcom and graphic novels and musica and films and movies and, and, and anything fun. Yep.

 

          To write is to work.

 

          To research is to play.

 

          To play is to discover.

 

          Hypothetically, if, my adoptive parents by any chance have ever happened to “take out” any “life insurance policy” upon my head then most likely I’m worth more dead than alive as is the same in marriage since I have absolutely not one single penny to my name. Okay. I can deal with the facts. I can deal with straight up numbers.

 

          Cash is difficult to ‘carve out a ‘literary’ living’ on the ground.

 

          Yes, I’ve been financially on my own for the past 16 years.

 

          No, this isn’t any type of written “soap opera.”

 

          No, I’m not any type of “Damsel in Distress.”

 

          Yes, together we lost our first fortune in 2007, then ten years later (one decade) made up for the loss and difference only to lose another second fortune together as of Thursday, June 15, 2017.

 

          Oh, well, since December 2006 I’ve been informed I won’t receive one single penny from any divorce settlement thus information is understood between two parties (since the start of this relationship, December 2006-June 2017) thus such an outcome isn’t any big shock to my system. I’ve been prepared since the very start I was promised I’d end up at a homeless women’s shelter. Okay. Fair enough. Moving on.

 

          The same tune is…

 

          The terms and conditions were evidently spelled out for me long before I arrived at this very hour today or point of consideration and recent developments.

 

          Money comes and money goes.

 

          Money’s nothing.

 

          Forever I shall love my current legal partner and best friend.

 

          My current legal partner is my best friend.

 

          Respect stays for a lifetime of forgiveness and friendship no matter how ‘angry’ or ‘wronged’ people seem to feel in friendships about friendships and still history is thicker than water.

 

          Yes, twenty years past I’d written in the genre of “soap operas” and “soap operas” are mainly fantasy and imagination rather than contemporary modern private online journal entries/personal diaries/nonfiction blog.

 

          We’re good.

 

          We’re always cordial and civil and respectful to each other to prove we’re not barbarians.

 

          What the rest of the world might think, well, who cares?

 

          The struggle is over.

 

          Yet, again, who’s to say humans aren’t aggressors and competitive at the wrong times and in the strangest of places while peace is #1, number one.

         

          Peace is “everything” or “nothing.”

 

          Act of war or no act of war.

 

          “Casualties of war or no casualties of war”

 

          Unharmed I humbly walk away with my life intact.

 

          No, no other person ever knows what’s best for any other individual and their lives and life decisions and life choices.

 

          It time to breathe.

 

          No, we’re not at all mad at each other over the loss of our second fortune. Nope.

 

          Fortunes get lost.

 

          Fortunes which get lost are far more common than one would think.

 

          Yes, we actually do know how we ended up here.

 

          Yes, through a series of bad economic decisions and withheld information about such decisions.

 

          We love each other. We always will.

 

          We don’t care about the money. We don’t.

 

          Eleven years from now my current legal partner will easily make a grand total of about 1.6 million dollars towards retirement. Set for modern life.

 

          All’s well.

 

          End’s well.

 

          Calm.

 

          Tranquillos.

 

          Tranquillas.

 

          Our lives are our very own to do what we decide to do without the harsh judgment of anyone much less our families and friends since we went out to bat and did our best.

 

          We move on.

 

          Moving on.

 

          Next.

 

          The End.

         

---  ---  ---

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

The Most Dangerous Time

In Any Woman’s Life,

Is Right Before

A

Woman

Leaves

Any

Relationship

         

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: 3,061

 

Word Count: 931

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 6,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count:

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #2 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #25 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #19 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #90 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Thursday, June 15, 2017

 

“An old man in the house is a burden; but an old woman in the house is a treasure.”

 

“The ignorant think less clearly as they age; the wise more clearly as they grow older.”

 

“Just because I’m old, do not forget me, do not neglect me.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Nominal (in name only, not in fact)

 

He is only the nominal president.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: 2:30pm CT, 5:30pm CT, 6:08pm CT, 6:19pm CT, 7:11pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

The Most Dangerous Time

In Any Woman’s Life,

Is Right Before

A

Woman

Leaves

Any

Relationship

 

~~~

Relationships vs. Happiness

 

          In America all anybody ever cares about is money.

 

          Money, money, money is the only thing on Americans’ minds.

 

          Americans tend to be “shallow” and “mean spirited” about money.

 

          Nonetheless, Americans are “poor” and don’t have anything.

 

          If anything Americans have debt and nothing else.

 

          We live on eighty thousand ($80,000) per annual income and we’re “poor.”

 

          We don’t have any money or cash.

 

          We’re what is considered “cash poor.”

 

          Even eighty thousand ($80,000) per annual income salary barely gets anybody by in an economy in which only the elites of Washington D.C. get to eat while the rest of 80% of America meagerly gets by from paycheck to paycheck and are constantly worried about money or medical bills or increase of healthcare in America rather than nationalistic healthcare.

 

          Money changes people.

          Money makes objects out of people.

 

          Money makes people into objects.

 

          There’s no savings.

 

          There’s no retirement.

 

          There’re no stocks.

 

          There’re no investments.

 

          There’s nothing in our bank account.

 

          Our bank account is empty and it’s not because of me.

 

          For the past 11 years of marriage I’ve meagerly run our household on $38,000 per yearly annual household budget.

 

          Therefore, where’s our money gone?

 

          My current legal partner doesn’t know and neither do I?

 

          My current legal partner admits I cost nothing to live on. Thank you.

 

          For 11 years of marriage we’ve lived on a meager household budget.

 

          My current legal partner makes eighty grand ($80,000) per annual salary which personally I think eighty grand is a whole lot of money.

 

          We ought to be rich and well settled, however.

 

          The reality is quite different.

 

          We live in a modest suburb of the Twin Cities.

 

          August 2012, we purchased our bank reprocessed home for $67,900 and pay $680.00 on monthly mortgage payments.

 

          We make $250.00 monthly car payments.

 

          We don’t ever go out to restaurants, or movies, or dancing, or anything except for my current legal partner’s weekly lunches and weekly breakfast meetings.

 

          For most of eleven years we haven’t had ‘cash on hand’ thus we stay at home and stare at the backyard which is great how we don’t spend any money other than on our Homesteaded property and definite “humble abode” since there’s no money to be had we’ve made the best of life with the very little we have.

 

          Yes, I’m indeed a “cheap date” and hardly cost anything to live on since money isn’t the end all means all.

 

          For eleven years, I’ve cut my own hair and haven’t ever had my nails or toes painted or done or gone on a vacation since April 2010 and I do purchase our clothes from online designer outlet.

 

          In my defense, I’ve done nothing except uplift the spirits of my current legal partner while my current legal partner squandered away our money as both he and his first wife squandered away their money in their 16 year marriage which I’ve paid off their debts and put the first wife through her undergraduate degree while my current legal partner has refused to allow for me to go back to school to get my PhD for the past eleven years of debate and communications’ struggles.

 

          Finally, as of this morning I found out exactly how “poor” we are which is “poor.”

 

          We have $25.00 to our name on a 20% line of credit my legal partner took out in the year 2000 and has only paid off $2,000 within the last eleven years of marriage since December 2006 when he moved into my two bedroom apartment against all reason and logic.

 

          Personally, after the loss of four fortunes I don’t care about money since money has only brought me misery and pain and hurt.

 

          Not once has money ever made me happy.

 

          The more money one acquires then the more responsibility one must bestow to one’s country and nation and family and friends and neighbors and charity and contribution and donation.

 

          This morning both my current legal partner and I had absolutely no money to pay the dog groomer’s $38.00.

 

          We went to the bank and took out $25.00 from a 20% line of credit my current legal partner kept from me through eleven years of marriage and all he had to his name was $50.00 in cash from the 20% “secret” line of credit thus we took out $25.00 in cash on 20% line of credit and we had another $20.00 in cash we found and paid the groomers.

 

          Sigh.

 

          Breathe.

 

Word Count: 751

 

~~~

Lies

 

          My current legal partner continually tells me the reason why we don’t have any money is because of me, however.

 

          For the past eleven years of our marriage I’ve lived frugally and haven’t ever received one piece of jewelry or gone on any trips or vacations other than to the In-Laws’ farm for which I did clean for the In-Laws every other weekend for eight years and helped bathe and kindly took after and tender to eighty year olds who are now 90.

 

          For a decade I almost and nearly literally killed myself pleasing my current legal partner and his rude and condescending and mean spirited bitter family who truly weren’t kind to me through eleven years of marriage and as of April 2016, my In-Law’s have in-person apologized to me. I’ve accepted their apologies and forever forgive.

 

          No, our money isn’t gone because of me since for the past eleven years I’ve wanted a joint shared account with my current legal partner and the joint shared checking account didn’t ever materialize thus next.

 

          Our money is gone however, not because of me rather my current legal partner made overall bad economic decisions about money unbeknownst to me as his wife of eleven years thus here I am today neither with anything to call my own nor a pot to piss in.

 

          Yes, I do accept facts, however. I’m not able to accept lies, not even silent ones. I’m much, too, discerning for melodrama. Usually, I’m a quiet person and live and let live no matter how loud the Italians may shout or gesticulate in front of my face.

 

          The truth is: for the past eleven years my current legal partner has withheld vital financial information about our finances by not allowing me to acquire a duo joint checking bank account which I’ve asked for both a joint checking bank account and a divorce and to reiterate none have ever materialized in eleven years of marriage.

 

          Finally I’m not disappointed.

 

          It’s only money after all.

 

          At least, our divorce isn’t anything personal about the other.

 

          There’s no “disappointment” or “shame” or “guilt” in not having any money since Americans don’t have any money either. I haven’t had any of my own money in ten years even though I was fired in September, 2007 in order to save my current legal partner’s posh corporate job as for an entire year I refused to cooperate in “corporate espionage” against my co-workers in the video department thus the men’s jobs were saved. Okay.

 

          Yes, I do accept the past. I wasn’t fired because I wasn’t an awesome worker or employee or co-worker. No. I was fired because I made a difficult decision and wouldn’t “corporate spy” on any employees. Period.

 

          Yes, I made the difficult choice. I stood by my moral decision.

 

          Today, I would still make the same decision as I did the first week of August of 2006 since I started my professional communications broadcast engineering position when asked to “corporate spy” by a court found embezzler accountant who wrote and signed the checks which is highly illegal and badly frowned upon in current modern business.  

 

          My current legal partner will be fine since he’s the one who makes bank and brings home bacon while I literally have nothing to my name. Not okay.

 

          However, I’m glad the lying is done.

 

          After eleven years of financial lies, my current legal partner has absolutely nothing to say to me except continually apologizes which I forgive him for the continuous financial lies and the inability to understand a marriage takes two to dance the Tango.

 

          Since we don’t have any money or investments or savings or retirement or stocks or bonds then I’d like to be set free of this eleven year financial disaster of a marriage gone awry in the year 2000.

 

          Might I now go on my merry way and begin to make my own money since I haven’t had any money for the past ten years in this relationship?

 

          Yes, I must always ask my current legal partner for either the ATM card or for cash to be drawn out. Ha. Why not make a woman feel like a child. Ha.

 

          The entire time I thought I was the problem, only, to discover the problem is my current legal partner’s economic problem he hid from me. Okay. Fair enough.

 

          Lighten the load and let go.

 

          In 2012 I send all of my friends away and made sure I made a mess of our difficult miscommunication rather than have my current legal partner emotionally hurt my previous friends of ten years. I decided to directly hurt my at-the-time alcoholic friends instead thus the hurt would be easier to deliver upon my friends than if the hurt had come straight from my current legal partner.

 

          My current legal partner will continue to make eighty grand per year while I’ll start anew with nothing and from scratch. Okay.

 

Word Count: 829

 

~~~

Money doesn’t make one happy

         

          Nothing in this world will ever make one happy other than the self.

 

          The self is the most important connection to the soul and the spirit and not money.

 

          Without being selfish, one must acknowledge the self is only one compared to the many others with selves and identities and personalities and goodwill and abilities and talents well developed and capabilities.

 

          Respect is the most important aspect to life.

 

          Love is secondary to respect.

 

          Love is an emotional chemical mixture of compounds.

 

          Respect is social civilized law.

 

          Respect is mutual admiration for another as a platonic humanitarian human.

 

          When there’s no respect in any marriage then there’s nothing.

 

          When there’s love in a marriage, however, no respect then there’s nothing left to be said or to be done.

 

          Love is fleeting, however.

 

          Respect is for a lifetime.

 

          Respect is not to ever call another any personal derogatory name.

 

          Respect is not ever challenging another to competition unless competition is done on the track field or in physical form rather than gossip or personal agendas or character assassination or liabilities or sanctimonious religious ideals sold over television morning shows.

 

          Respect is not to ever get in the way of others’ lives, their choices and decisions and situations.

 

          Respect is the ability to assess situations and know when to be silent and when to speak up in order to tell the truth and nothing except the truth as events occurred and at what time, where, and how and possibly why then take full responsibility for the sake of miscommunication gone awry in on-going grievous situations between private partied involved.

 

          Respect is the ability to set another free.

 

          Respect is the ability to allow another the freedom to hold onto their steadfast believes and thoughts and ideas and opinions without persecution or persuasion or manipulation or hiding the truth from the other.

 

          Respect isn’t to place one above another.

 

          Respect is “to always have the best interest at heart for the other.”

 

          Respect isn’t romantic. No.

 

          Love is romantic. Yes.

 

          Respect is a set of social moral rules and codes and values by which all civilization must abide by.

 

          Respect any individual since human life in mainly all suffering.

 

          Respect isn’t confusion.

 

          Respect isn’t power.

 

          Respect isn’t control.

 

          Respect isn’t lies.

 

          Respect isn’t skewed misinformation.

 

          Respect isn’t undisclosed information.

 

          Respect isn’t omitted lies.

 

          Respect is the truth and nothing except the truth to oneself and to others otherwise respect isn’t respect.

 

          Otherwise, respect is then a disillusioned and convoluted type of miscommunication between private parties to favor one side and not the other especially to favor the side with least developed personality since smarts is by far more alert and wise and with sharper wit and ability to assess rather than to barge in and assume the entire world revolves around the one self.                              

 

          Respect is gained.

 

          Respect is calculated action without being reckless.

 

          Love is words.

 

          Love is carnage.

 

          Love is instant gratification.

 

          Respect is lifetime guaranteed.

 

          Respect is to listen to others have their say then make decisions and choices for oneself.

 

          Love is love.

 

          Love is nothing if there’s no respect involved.

 

          Love is beauty rather than respectfully written in stone.

 

          Beauty disappears with time…

 

          Love comes and goes.

 

          Respect stays put.

 

          Love is mainly physical.

 

          Respect is intellectual.

 

          Love is mainly chemical chemistry.

 

          Respect is a set of social intellectual rules and laws set in stone towards the continuation of civilization and forward and onward let’s go.

 

          Respect has nothing to do with money.

 

          Respect has to do with upbringing.

 

          Respect is all.

 

          No, love isn’t all I need. I need respect. I need a sense of my own self sovereign. I need a sense of independence. I need time to think. I need close friends who already know me. I need not to have to over explain myself.

 

          Indeed, I need to be alone amongst safe people who will give me time to think without constantly being convinced I don’t know my own mind or without being thrown out into the streets like a rat to march to any homeless women’s shelter or to leave here with only a backpack and no way to survive.

 

          Indeed, I require.

 

          Indeed, I need respect from free legal counsel.

 

          Indeed, I require respect.

 

          No, I’m not some old hag.

 

          Yes, I’m me and vibrant after all these eleven years of struggle.

 

          Yes, no one will ever tell me I’m old therefore to be discarded.

 

          Mainly, I hold the secrets to the universe as does anyone else.

 

          Mainly, I’m no longer afraid.

 

          Mainly, I hold all of the power and no money. Ha...LOL…

 

          Life’s pretty funny.

 

          If one isn’t crying then one’s laughing all the way to the bank.

 

          Well, I laughed all the way to the bank this morning and left laughing since life’s curve balls sure are marvelous and adventurous and at times strenuous.

 

          One aspect of life is for certain: I’ll always look to love to guide me since love is all, however, not “everything.”

 

          No, now is not the time to weep since I’ve wept enough over the past eleven years of legal marriage.

 

          Now is a time to rejoice since the struggle is over and finally done.

 

          Now is a time for action and logistics.

 

          Now is a time for freedom.

 

          Americans have always held steadfast to freedom.

 

          No one’s ever going to take away Americans’ freedom: not for marriage as an institution, not for Congress as Wall Street’s gambling casino, not for abuse and definitely not through 17 years of another war in dusty Middle East.

         

Word Count: 938

 

~~~

No, I’m not an alcoholic

 

(Although, two Saturdays ago,

I did get drunk and loud

on 3 martinis and 2 long island ice teas

for the very first time in 11 years)

It was awesome.

 

No, I’m not a drug addict

 

No, I’m not any type of drug dealer

 

Yes, I’m a cigarette smoker

(American Spirits, Blues)

 

Yes, I’m an avid coffee drinker

 

Yes, I’m addicted to colorful socks

 

Yes, I’m addicted to 20 MG of Escitalopram

 

          Recent Developments:

 

          Well, on my end: there’s absolutely not one single multi-million dollar investor ever since December 31st, 2014 when we dissolved our film company “Taviette Film Productions.” Sigh.

 

          Now the multi-million dollar investors are solely my current legal partner’s investors and not mine.

 

          There’s no retirement.

 

          There’re no stocks or bonds or CDs.

 

          There’s nothing.

 

          Our bank account is wiped clean.

 

          Our bank account is more or less the same as the national treasury if one were to go and open up the vault to the national treasury then one would discover the truth about how the national treasury vault is empty and not because I write this, simply because it’s a fact of life.

 

          Well, my current legal partner came to me homeless at the age of 42 in December of 2006 ready to move into my 2-bedroom flat in uptown, Minneapolis, MN while I was 28 years of life, after at length we both spoke and debated and exhausted each other to know end and fought for him not to move in while I worked for corporate America as a communications broadcast engineer (August 2006-present.)

 

          Well, my current legal partner came to me homeless at the age of 42 in December of 2006 ready to move into my 2-bedroom flat in uptown, Minneapolis, MN while I was 28 years of life, after at length we both spoke and debated and exhausted each other to know end and fought for him not to move in while he came into the relationship with about one hundred thousand dollars in credit debt and now we have nothing to account for after eleven years of marriage. Okay. I accept it.

 

          For the past eleven years, we’ve both brought in $160,000 per annual income. Or, at least I thought we did with private multi-millionaire investors which are no longer my multi-million dollar investors. Okay. I accept it.

 

          We married April 2009.

 

          Since September 2009 I’ve stayed home and worked part-time 20 hours per week keeping a home and chores and supporting my current legal spouse through 11 years of financial omitted lies as well as part-time I’ve written a private online blog/personal diary since May 2010 as part of my on-going professional career work. I can accept it.

 

          In April of 2016, my Mother-In-Law told me I was a “sucker.”

 

          She was right. I’m indeed a “sucker.”

 

          After six years without a vacation: I’m definitely a “sucker.”

 

          As of June 2016 my current legal partner’s begun to call me a “stoner” and I don’t know what a “stoner” means except I refuse to give up the daily dosage of 20MG of “Escitalopram” for fake-pregnancy hormones and non-cancerous uterine fibroid tumors and non-cancerous thyroid tumors which for the past two years I’ve walked into walls and bumped into doors and doorways and furniture and also burned myself on the stove since I’m not able to make much sense out of spatial relations or distance since my prescription glasses are from March 2014.

 

          No, we don’t ever have any money.

 

          For example; for the first time in eleven years as of January 2017 finally I now own more than 3 pairs of socks at once. I’ve gone for eleven years on only three pairs of socks. It’s not okay.

 

          In eleven years of marriage I’ve gone without anything since there’s not ever any money or cash.

 

          Today I found out for certain and as a matter of fact there’s no money since I personally went to the bank teller window with my current legal partner and discovered the ultimate sheer mockery made out of me for the past eleven years of a deceitful marriage.

 

          Finally, I’m out of the lies and deceit and pressure to do all of the domestic housework for someone who knows nothing about putting away dishes or make the bed or change sheets or do laundry or cook or anything other than wish his relatives were dead then he may pay off his credit card debt (correction.)

 

          For eleven years my current legal partner’s told me he can’t wait for his older family members to die thus he may pay off some of his personal debt.

 

          Nevertheless, I think the thought, too, cruel to wish anyone dead to pay off debts.

 

          This particular remark has left me cold and chilled to the bone.

 

          No, I don’t believe in the death or murder of anyone in order to pay off the last $10,000 (ten-thousand dollars) of my student loan I put off for six years in order for my current legal partner to pay off his first wife’s credit card debt.

 

          My only monthly bill payments for the past four years since we moved to a Twin Cities’ suburb in August of 2012 has been one bill from the Department of Education for $120.00 in monthly payment installments.

 

          No, I’m no “stoner.”

 

          Although, I do have to look up the word “stoner” since I have no clue what the word “stoner” by definition means.

 

          Two years ago, the idea for me to get on 20MG of Escitalopram was my current legal partner’s idea thus here we are today.

 

          Now I’m addicted to one daily dosage of 20MG of Escitalopram and I still do require and want a divorce after eleven years of consideration and asking to be granted a divorce.

 

          Finally, last Friday night my current legal partner granted me a divorce after eleven years for which I’ve asked to be granted a divorce.

 

          Yes, I’m addicted to 20MG of Escitalopram.

 

          Indeed, I’m addicted to 20MG of Escitalopram.

 

          How am I not to be addicted to 20MG of Escitalopram?

 

          In my humble opinion Escitalopram is speed.

 

Word Count: 1,025                                

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: 3,000

 

Word Count: 3,632

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 6,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count:

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #25 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #19 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #90 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

 

“The man who intends to lie seeks witnesses from a far.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Allay (to quiet down, pacify, calm)

 

Now that I’m here you can allay your fears.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

The Most Dangerous Time

In Any Woman’s Life,

Is Right Before

A

Woman

Leaves

Any

Relationship

 

~~~

No Blog

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: 3,000

 

Word Count:

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 6,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count: 1,307

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #3 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #3 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #25 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #19 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #90 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

 

“To some men lying is a profession.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Bathos (sudden descent from the sublime to the ridiculous)

 

His book lost its seriousness by the recurrence of bathos.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

The Most Dangerous Time

In Any Woman’s Life,

Is Right Before

A

Woman

Leaves

Any

Relationship

 

~~~

No Blog

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal journals

 

Word Count:

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 6,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count: 1,307

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #2 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #2 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #25 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #19 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #90 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Monday, June 12, 2017

 

“If everyone says so, believe them.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Ephemeral (transient, lasting a short time)

 

In the light of the ages, life is ephemeral.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: 4:18pm CT, 4:32pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

The Most Dangerous Time

In Any Woman’s Life,

Is Right Before

A

Woman

Leaves

Any

Relationship

 

~~~

Recent Developments

Friday Night

 

          No, I don’t care about any amount of money.

 

          All I care about is my freedom.

 

          Yes, on Friday night my current legal partner apologized to me for lying to me all these 11 years about what he’s been doing or not doing with our finances while the entire 11 years I’ve asked for a divorce as well as asked to have a joint bank account and he’s said no to both.

 

          Well, on Friday night I learned my current legal partner came into the relationship with what he’s continually called a “business loan” rather I now know he’s had a “line of credit” all this time and not a “business loan” which changes a lot of the information previously received in a pack of lies.

 

          In this marriage, I completely paid off my now dissolved film company (December 31st, 2014) Taviette Film Productions’ literal “business loan” payments.

 

          No, I shan’t ever make another business loan payment for as long as I live. It was a complete waste of my time, energy and labor.

 

          Yes, I learned my lesson the first time round.

 

          Yes, I paid off eight thousand dollars ($8,000) and move on, 2002-2016. It was a wash.

 

          The literal film company “business loan” was a loss.

 

          For many years, the “business loan” set me behind in life.

 

          For seven years, as a single woman I made (2002-2009) my own “business loan” payments.

 

          My current legal partner tells me he took out $11,000 for a now dissolved corporation company (December 31st, 2014) with an open “line of credit” which is still owed nine thousand dollars ($9,000) on a “line of credit” we’ve paid off for eleven straight years at 20%.

 

          Let’s do some fun math:

 

          $11,000 X’s 20% = $24,000

 

          $300 X’s 12 months = $3,600

 

          $3,600 X’s 11 years = $39,600

 

          $39,000 - $24,000 = $15,000

 

          Okay, well, it is peanuts in comparison, however.

 

          Why aren’t we ever done paying off his “secret” line of credit after eleven years of marriage?

 

          After refusing to tell me about his “secret” line of credit or even so much as allowed to show me the line of credit then why isn’t it paid off?

 

          Where is $39,600 - $11,000 = $28,600 dollars for us to go on our second vacation in six years?

 

          How come we still owe this “secret” line of credit $9,000 dollars since we pay into it each month for eleven years?

 

          For eleven years we’ve paid a total of $39,600 dollars into a previous line of credit and there now ought to be $28,000 (twenty-eight thousand dollars) in reserves and surplus.

 

          My current legal partner makes $80,000 per yearly annual income.

 

          We live on $38,000 per annual household spending thus after taxes, let’s say we have $50,000 to live on - $38,000 we actually do live on = $12,000 surplus each year.

 

          Thus where has $12,000 per annual surplus X’s 11 years = 132,000 (one hundred and thirty-two thousand dollars) gone?

 

          My current legal partner says he took out a “line of credit” in the year (whenever the year was since he refuses to disclose the date) before he moved in with me on December 2006 and the total “line of credit” initially owed was $11,000 dollars as far as I know on December 2006 still yet as of today the line of credit has yet to be paid $9,000 after eleven years of paying $300.00 dollars per monthly payments out of our pockets.

 

          $2,000 dollars is the only money paid back to the initial $11,000 line of credit in eleven years.

 

          At this rate it will take us: 11 years to pay off another $2,000 dollars and another 11 years to pay off another $2,000 and another 11 years to pay off another $2,000 and another 11 years to pay off another $2,000 and 6 years to pay off $1,000.

 

          So, for 39 years we’ll pay off $9,000 dollars at the rate of $2,000 per each 11 years?

 

          No, I didn’t sign up for this “secret” line of credit. NO.

 

          However, in 11 years we’ve paid $39,600 on a total of $11,000 dollar loan. Why aren’t we done paying it off then?

 

          Why?

 

          Where are our monthly payments going towards?

 

          What?

 

          The math doesn’t add up.

 

          My current legal partner takes me for a chump and I am.

 

          Since December 2006 we’ve lived on $38,000 per annual household spending per yearly costs except 2016 we lived on $50,000 per household spending thus we live frugally which I love a frugal and materialistic free lifestyle as a minimalist who refuses to contribute to anymore garbage into the Oceans.

 

          My current legal partner makes $80,000 per year. Okay.

 

          Then how come we’re “poor” as my legal partner disclosed to me on Friday night.

 

          We have absolutely nothing.

 

          Why?

 

          How come?

 

          Show me the money.

 

          Have we made 1st wife “spousal support” payments for the past eleven years of marriage without me knowing it?

 

          Have I not known anything about this since I haven’t ever read or seen my current legal partner’s divorce papers to his first wife?

 

          My current legal partner says he needs extra money for us to live on which is a complete lie.

 

          We have a $2,500 total line of credit per yearly travel credit card.

 

          None of it makes sense.

 

          The mathematics doesn’t add up.

 

          The entire eleven years my current legal partner refused to lift a finger around our property only to discover my current legal partner most likely has some inappropriate line of credit someplace in which only $2,000 dollars has been paid off in eleven years of marriage of $300.00 worth monthly payments from the initial $11,000 line of credit. I’ve been taken for a complete ride. What a wild ride.

 

          My current legal partner will have much to explain to the courts. I don’t know. I don’t know what my current legal partner does with any of our money. I have no idea. I don’t care. I want out. I’ve wanted out for eleven years.

 

          My current legal partner came to me homeless and now I go out homeless. Not okay.

 

          Wow, my current legal partner did exactly to me what his first wife of 16 years did to him when he came to me with absolutely nothing. Whatever.

 

          Since the start of our relationship my current legal partner’s solution is: If I were to leave this relationship then I’m to go straight to a women’s shelter yet I do all of the housework and property work and part-time write since I’ve been home fulltime since September 2009.

 

          How come I’ve been the one to be continuously threatened to get kicked out of my home for which I offered my initial two bedroom flat to my current legal partner in goodwill back in December 2006 and by October 2008 he laid out the ultimatums to either do all of the housework or get thrown out on the streets and go homeless after I gave up my corporate career in September 2007 in order to save the corporate career of my current legal partner.

 

          Personally, I think my current legal partner has always secretly hated me a little otherwise our love wouldn’t be this mean spirited and hateful.

         

          The only question I have is I do wonder how our accountants allowed for this to happen.

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: 1,000

 

Word Count: 1,307

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 6,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count: 1,307

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #25 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #19 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #90 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Friday, June 9, 2017

 

“The new may be true, but the old is gold.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Enunciation (clear pronunciation)

 

It was his enunciation of the words that won the prize.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: 5:20pm CT, 6:59pm CT, 7:48pm CT, 7:55pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

The Most Dangerous Time

In Any Woman’s Life,

Is Right Before

A

Woman

Leaves

Any

Relationship

 

          NO, I don’t believe in any type of murder. Silly.

 

          No, I shan’t neither utilize any type of physical violent hand against my current legal partner nor have I ever beaten or brutalized my current legal partner, nor, he, against I. No.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is 6’0’ and weighs 255 pounds while I’m 5’3” and 150 pounds.

 

          Yes, if my current legal partner chose and decided to then he could eat me alive and I would have nothing to say about it and he’d potentially kill me and he’d go to jail and I’d be dead. Yes.

 

          These are the facts of life.

 

          Thus we’ll keep domestic life civil and Halal and kosher and kind and smart and intelligent and romantic during our last summer together until Friday, September 1, 2017.

 

          Yes, I’ve said cruel and terrible words to my current legal partner. Fair enough.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner has indeed spoken and said cruel and terrible words to me. Fair enough.

 

          Yes, we’ve forgiven each other. Moving on. Next.

 

          Yes, the damage’s already been done and the trauma is now long gone and forgotten and forgiven forever.

 

~~~

Current Legal Partner

         

          Yes, my current legal partner is a good man.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is a “gentle giant.”

 

          No, my current legal partner hasn’t ever hit me. No.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is handsome and kind and intelligent and smart.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is an anatomically correct man.

 

          No, my current legal partner doesn’t watch any pornography.

          (Awesome and sexy.)

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is gorgeous.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is successful.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is extremely sensitive.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner loves his side of his family.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is a citizen of the United States of America.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is a mature adult man.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is a dedicated family man.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is an extreme television enthusiast watcher.

         

          Yes, my current legal partner is a stay-at-home body.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner and I lost one fortune and regained all of our lost investments within ten years since 2007-2017.

 

          Yes, my third lost fortune was with my current legal partner.

 

          Yes, my fourth accumulated fortune was regained with my current legal partner.

 

          Yes, my fifth fortune will be rebuilt.

 

          We’ll think about how to rebuild a common wealth fortune later.

 

~~~

A Woman in the World

 

          Yes, I hold assets.

 

          No, assets aren’t “cash on the barrel head.”

 

          Assets take time to turn into cash.

 

          Yes, at this moment I have $59.50 to my name.

 

          Yes, my girlfriends tell me to go to a woman’s shelter until this entire business is over.

 

          If I must I will then. Okay.

 

          (Our peeps know exactly my 20, 24/7.)

 

          Today, I was advised divorce comes down to numbers and divided assets. Okay.

 

          Get excellent free representation since I have no money to my name.

 

          Tonight, I’ll purchase a pack of cigarettes when we feast at sundown for Ramadan along with our Muslim neighbors who check in with me each and every single day of the week for two years.

 

          No, for eleven years I haven’t ever known or seen any of our passwords held by my legal partner’s either bank accounts or bills or how our money is kept or managed. I don’t know. (I know, I know.)

 

          For all I know there’s absolutely no money at all. It’s always a possibility.

 

          Yes, for eleven years I’ve asked my current legal partner to please open up a joint shared bank account with me and to this day my legal partner drags his feet each week and says no.

 

          Yes, once in January 2017, I did actually glance over my current legal partner’s checking account for the first time in eleven years I realized...

 

          Yes, my legal partner also knows if we don’t acquire a joint shared checking account by December 2017 then this is all a futile exercise since I’d like to walk out of this marriage by no later than September 1, 2017 and with my life intact.

 

          Yes, each year for eleven years I’ve asked for a divorce from the same legal partner who refuses me a divorce.

 

          No, I don’t have any accessibility to my legal partner’s checking account or any other assets or anything for such matter. Not at the moment anyway.

 

          The checking account hasn’t ever held my married legal name.

 

          Yes, this afternoon I’ve been advised to seek out free legal counsel.

 

          No, I’m not a legal expert.

 

          Yes, I have absolutely no money. I’m okay with it.

 

          Yes, I’ll have to research free legal counsel for American housewife women citizens who have absolutely no money to their name yet sacrificed eleven years of a corporate career as well as paid off mostly hundreds of thousands of dollars in credit card debt which belonged to my current legal partner’s first wife of sixteen years except for the last nine thousand dollars ($9,000) yet required to be solely legally paid by my current legal partner.

 

          Each year I continue to ask my current legal partner when we’d be done making payments to his previous “business loan” (which is a complete lie) and “credit card debt” (which I found out is actually “a line of credit” and not actual “credit card debt” nor a “business loan” neither since there’s not ever been a “business loan”.)

 

          My current legal partner’s been lying to me for eleven straight years about paying into a “business loan” which is a nonexistent “business loan” since there’s not ever been a “business loan” to pay back rather an already established “line of credit” from his previous sixteen year marriage which now I don’t know if any type of “line of credit” actually and factually exists or if we’ve been paying into “spousal support” from my legal partner’s previous sixteen year marriage since anything is now up to debate and consideration in what’s the truth and what isn’t. The courts will decide.

                    Each month, for eleven years, my current legal partner sets aside $300.00 (correction on the mathematics) X’s 12 months = $3,600 per year X’s 11 years = $39,600 (correction on the mathematics) on a “line of credit” my legal partner acquired before we wed April 2009 and ever since and before then my current legal partner refused for eleven straight years to allow me to look over any of our accounts since my legal partner admits to me his been lying to me for eleven years and we’re poor.

 

          My legal partner’s former corporation is now dissolved and the company hasn’t existed since December 31, 2014.

 

          Continually over the course of the last decade I’ve asked my current legal partner when we’ll be done paying off his business loan and credit card debt which is neither a “business loan” nor “credit card debt” finally, this past Friday I found out the truth and we pay into a “line of credit” and I do wonder for what and/or for whom.

 

          We don’t ever seem to be near done making his “business loan” payments since there isn’t any “business loan” payments to make since it’s a lie, there’s no “business loan.”

 

          We don’t ever seem to be near done making his previous sixteen year marriage “credit card debt” be done on payments since there isn’t any “credit card debt” because there never were except there would require for financial records to be made evident in a court of law otherwise money has been either saved away or required to pay in previous “spousal support” while I have absolutely no money to my name. Not okay.

 

          No, I absolutely don’t seek the economic support of any man or woman much less my father or mother.

 

          Yes, my parents and I are in good terms. We talk in person or over the phone or over email or over handwritten letters.

 

          Yes, my mother is actually going to stay with me for a few days after the recovery of my third surgery in mid-July 2017.

 

          Yes, in December of 2003 I went homeless for one night.

          It was terrible.

 

          Yes, from the ages of 24-27 I starved in Duluth, MN.

          16 hour work days on very little food is nearly impossible to concentrate…It was terrible.

 

          No, no amount of money will make one happy. No.

 

          Yes, it’s best to be happy with little than unhappy with a lot.

 

          Money doesn’t mean anything.

 

          Love is all.

 

          Money comes and goes.

 

          Yes, I’m finally at peace with my eleven year decision.

 

          Yes, I’ve made my final decision to live (correction) for me.

 

~~~

I don’t know.

 

          Yes, for the first time in eleven years, on Wednesday, June 7, 2017, in front of our neighbor, my legal partner, twice, threatened to throw me down the backyard hill and kill me. Not okay. I’m not laughing. It’s not funny.

 

          Yes, as long as I stay married to my current legal partner then I’m legally permitted to make use of my legal partner’s first and last name otherwise I’ll most likely end up with a “defamation” lawsuit if we were ever to get divorced. Not okay, either.

 

          Yes, my legal partner has granted me verbal permission to make use of his first and last name so long as we’re married otherwise. Nothing. I get to walk away with my life intact. Period.

 

          This summer 2017 I must go through seven years of writing and take out the first and last name of my current legal partner to save myself from a defamation lawsuit which I refuse to deal with once our divorce is final unless my legal partner show me the money.

 

          This Monday, my legal partner’s mother has been given two months to live.

 

          After eight years of cleaning and taking care of and helped shower and dress and helped take care of an eighty to ninety year old then my current legal partner may now take it from here since my current legal partner mostly wasted my time with tedious cleaning and taking care of his elders on his side of the family.

 

          Yes, there’re people all over the world who know my 20 (location) and know when I go offline each night.

 

~~~

Independence

2017

 

          Yes, by next Monday I’ll establish a new cell and cell phone number and a new independent line of credit and bank account and new email in which only I know the passwords. Yep.

 

          Since October 2007 my legal partner’s terms are: if I were to leave the relationship then I’m to leave here with nothing and go directly to a women’s homeless shelter, however.

 

          No, I neither desire nor will go directly into any woman’s shelter nor to any of my relatives nor to any one of my parents since I did get my current legal partner out of hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt he accrued with his first wife in his first sixteen years of marriage.

 

          There’re friends all over the world who’ve offered to help me get away and get started someplace new since writing fulltime is all I want to do with my life rather than return to washing dishes at a restaurant since it would be any great waste of my expertise, experience and knowledge and time and wisdom in the field of global communications as a communications broadcast engineer and writer and now six year retired filmmaker.

 

          Yes, I’ve only made one concrete commitment to one friend in Duluth, MN since I most definitely want to set up concrete plans to show up and make it to my friend on Friday, September 1, 2017 otherwise I’m either dead or dead.

 

          No, I don’t believe my legal partner will murder me, however.

 

          The chances of being murdered right now haven’t ever been this high or against me as they are now.

 

          No, I don’t believe in murder.

 

          My legal partner promises not to kill me when I leave, however.

 

          Nothing’s promised and nothing’s forever.

 

~~~

Minnesota is a 50/50 State

 

          No, I don’t know why my present legal partner always makes the threat I ought to go homeless when he came to me homeless and in hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt from his first 16 year marriage.

 

          The threat is quite exhaustive and tiresome.

 

          Women are second class citizens.

 

          Women of color are third class citizens.

 

          Today, I feel happier than I have in eleven years of marriage.

 

          No, I’m hardly ever confused about anything.

 

          Yes, I always know what needs to be done.

 

          However, I freeze and don’t move or do anything about anything except stand still to consider my options, however.

 

          NO, I don’t ever run out of options, however.

 

          Yes, I do seem to run out of courage.

 

          One isn’t ever out of options or choices.

         

          One’s right is to be happy in life.

 

          No one’s ever going to make another happy.

 

          To each their own.

         

          Only individuals make themselves happy.

 

          Through eleven years of marriage I’ve been most unhappy.

 

          Yes, my current legal partner is aware and has a real clear picture and clue exactly how unhappy I’ve been.

 

          Yes, to love someone is to let them go and set them free.

 

~~~

Recent Developments

Friday Night

                    Well, on Friday night I learned my current legal partner came into the relationship with what he’s continually called a “business loan” rather I now know he’s had a “line of credit” all this time and not a “business loan” which changes a lot of the information previously received in a pack of lies.

 

          In this marriage, I completely paid off my now dissolved film company (December 31st, 2014) Taviette Film Productions’ literal “business loan” payments.

 

          No, I shan’t ever make another business loan payment for as long as I live. It was a complete waste of my time, energy and labor.

 

          Yes, I learned my lesson the first time round.

 

          Yes, I paid off eight thousand dollars ($8,000) and move on, 2002-2016. It was a wash.

 

          The literal film company “business loan” was a loss.

 

          For many years, the “business loan” set me behind in life.

 

          For seven years, as a single woman I made (2002-2009) my own “business loan” payments.

 

          My current legal partner tells me he took out $11,000 for a now dissolved corporation company (December 31st, 2014) with an open “line of credit” which is still owed nine thousand dollars ($9,000) on a “line of credit” we’ve paid off for eleven straight years at 20%.

 

          Let’s do some fun math:

 

          $11,000 X’s 20% = $24,000

 

          $300 X’s 12 months = $3,600

 

          $3,600 X’s 11 years = $39,600

 

          $39,000 - $24,000 = $15,000

 

          Okay, well, it is peanuts in comparison, however.

 

          Why aren’t we ever done paying off his “secret” line of credit after eleven years of marriage?

 

          After refusing to tell me about his “secret” line of credit or even so much as allowed to show me the line of credit then why isn’t it paid off?

 

          Where is $39,600 - $11,000 = $28,600 dollars for us to go on our second vacation in six years?

 

          How come we still owe this “secret” line of credit $9,000 dollars since we pay into it each month for eleven years?

 

          For eleven years we’ve paid a total of $39,600 dollars into a previous line of credit and there now ought to be $28,000 (twenty-eight thousand dollars) in reserves and surplus.

 

          My current legal partner makes $80,000 per yearly annual income.

 

          We live on $38,000 per annual household spending thus after taxes, let’s say we have $50,000 to live on - $38,000 we actually do live on = $12,000 surplus each year.

 

          Thus where has $12,000 per annual surplus X’s 11 years = 132,000 (one hundred and thirty-two thousand dollars) gone?

 

          My current legal partner says he took out a “line of credit” in the year (whenever the year was since he refuses to disclose the date) before he moved in with me on December 2006 and the total “line of credit” initially owed was $11,000 dollars as far as I know on December 2006 still yet as of today the line of credit has yet to be paid $9,000 after eleven years of paying $300.00 dollars per monthly payments out of our pockets.

 

          $2,000 dollars is the only money paid back to the initial $11,000 line of credit in eleven years.

 

          At this rate it will take us: 11 years to pay off another $2,000 dollars and another 11 years to pay off another $2,000 and another 11 years to pay off another $2,000 and another 11 years to pay off another $2,000 and 6 years to pay off $1,000.

 

          So, for 39 years we’ll pay off $9,000 dollars at the rate of $2,000 per each 11 years?

 

          No, I didn’t sign up for this “secret” line of credit. NO.

 

          However, in 11 years we’ve paid $39,600 on a total of $11,000 dollar loan. Why aren’t we done paying it off then?

 

          Why?

 

          Where are our monthly payments going towards?

 

          What?

 

          The math doesn’t add up.

 

          My current legal partner takes me for a chump and I am.

 

          Since December 2006 we’ve lived on $38,000 per annual household spending per yearly costs except 2016 we lived on $50,000 per household spending thus we live frugally which I love a frugal and materialistic free lifestyle as a minimalist who refuses to contribute to anymore garbage into the Oceans.

 

          My current legal partner makes $80,000 per year. Okay.

 

          Then how come we’re “poor” as my legal partner disclosed to me on Friday night.

 

          We have absolutely nothing.

 

          Why?

 

          How come?

 

          Show me the money.

 

          Have we made 1st wife “spousal support” payments for the past eleven years of marriage without me knowing it?

 

          Have I not known anything about this since I haven’t ever read or seen my current legal partner’s divorce papers to his first wife?

 

          My current legal partner says he needs extra money for us to live on which is a complete lie.

 

          We have a $2,500 total line of credit per yearly travel credit card.

 

          None of it makes sense.

 

          The mathematics doesn’t add up.

 

          The entire eleven years my current legal partner refused to lift a finger around our property only to discover my current legal partner most likely has some inappropriate line of credit someplace in which only $2,000 dollars has been paid off in eleven years of marriage of $300.00 worth monthly payments from the initial $11,000 line of credit. I’ve been taken for a complete ride. What a wild ride.

 

          My current legal partner will have much to explain to the courts. I don’t know. I don’t know what my current legal partner does with any of our money. I have no idea. I don’t care. I want out. I’ve wanted out for eleven years.

 

          My current legal partner came to me homeless and now I go out homeless. Not okay.

 

          Wow, my current legal partner did exactly to me what his first wife of 16 years did to him when he came to me with absolutely nothing. Whatever.

 

          Since the start of our relationship my current legal partner’s solution is: If I were to leave this relationship then I’m to go straight to a women’s shelter yet I do all of the housework and property work and part-time write since I’ve been home fulltime since September 2009.

 

          How come I’ve been the one to be continuously threatened to get kicked out of my home for which I offered my initial two bedroom flat to my current legal partner in goodwill back in December 2006 and by October 2008 he laid out the ultimatums to either do all of the housework or get thrown out on the streets and go homeless after I gave up my corporate career in September 2007 in order to save the corporate career of my current legal partner.

 

          Personally, I think my current legal partner has always secretly hated me a little otherwise our love wouldn’t be this mean spirited and hateful.

         

          The only question I have is I do wonder how our accountants allowed for this to happen.

 

          OMG.

 

~~~

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

 

          My current legal partner will not ever again threaten to kill me.

 

          My current legal partner will treat me with respect and shower me with gifts and get me a glass of water whenever I want a glass of water or I if were even so much as to ask for a glass of water and not even glass at it or drink it.

 

          Well, I laughed real hard.

 

          At least, I now know I’m not the problem.

 

          At least, I now know the problem and struggle lay with my current legal partner and his past and future finances.

 

          My current legal partner says he doesn’t know what’s happened to the money we’ve paid $300.00 into each month for the past eleven years in a total of $39,600.

 

          Ha, I bet I can guess since I’ve kept hand written ledgers of our finances for the past eleven years thus I know exactly how much we pay to meager bills and how much we frugally live on.

 

          For a while I thought I was going insane and wondered why we didn’t ever get ahead or save as much as I thought we ought to since I don’t cost anything.

 

          From now on my current legal partner will grant me “spousal support” until this is all very well and over.

 

          Finally, I’m relieved to know it’s not me.

 

          This entire time I’ve been killing myself as a good and dutiful wife.

 

          Ha, my current legal partner’s been cheating on me with our finances for the past eleven years. Okay. I move on.

 

          Yes, I leave it up to the courts.

 

          The courts can have fun with my current legal partner since I’ve been unhappy through eleven years of marriage and have wanted a divorce for eleven years.

 

          Ha!

 

          Lol…

 

          At least, it’s not me.

          It’s not me!

          It’s not me!

 

          Yes! I’m free from under a lie which isn’t even mine.

 

          Freedom at last.

          Freedom at last.

 

          Now it all makes sense. Okay. I get to walk out whenever I well please without anyone threatening to kill me or murder me overly pittance.

 

          Our life insurance is one-hundred and fifty thousand.

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: 2,093

 

Word Count: 3,819

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 8,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count: 4,310 + 1,597 = 5,907 + 3,819 = 9,726

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #24 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #18 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #89 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Thursday, June 8, 2017

 

“Fortunate are those who enjoy old age.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Impious (irreverent, without piety, wicked)

 

His impious utterances shocked all who heard them.

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

No Blog

Indeed, the day did get away from me.

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: 1,000 private journals

 

Word Count:

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 8,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count: 4,310 + 1,597 = 5,907

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #24 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #18 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #89 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

 

“Though old people dye their hair, the roots remain white.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Incessant (never ceasing, continual)

 

That incessant noise will drive me mad.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: 5:35pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

          Yes, comedians hold the ultimate trump card in entertainment and society and culture.

 

          Yes, comedians hold carte blanche to say whatever comedians see fit to make strong pronouncements about modern times and change the angry trajectory of our overall modern culture and civilization into peaceful measures toward future progressiveness.

 

          Comedians may state anything comedians want to say especially the word “nigger” in terms of any strong historical reference or example from history or in general as a strong analogy or metaphor as well as make fun of the present sitting president since “freedom of speech” isn’t free through 17 years of war in the Middle East.

 

          “Freedom of speech” is fragile.

 

          “Freedom of speech” ought to always be robust and passionate and strong and alive and humanitarian or no go.

 

          Society and culture at large must hold against the steadfast insanity of political correctness which is a new study about nothing much less at all except for thin skinned people who get personally insulted or personally offended about words which such words aren’t aimed at anyone in particular much less made personal against any individual or directed at any one person except as a public statement about what’s wrong with our undereducated and aggressive society of ‘thin skinned’ people who haven’t ever read 5,000 books or more therefore American don’t truly understand words much less what words mean in context to other words.

 

          Comedians hold carte blanche thus comedians may hold up a mirror right up to the face of culture and society and make amazing and poignant points about what’s wrong with our modern racist culture as long as the word “nigger” is utilized in a manner in which a point is evidently made or an example is set then comedians and artist and creative types don’t owe anybody any explanation or apology. No.

 

          A “house slave” was a “house nigger.”

 

          Doesn’t anybody know any American black history?

 

          No wonder modern Americans are insane and perturbed since Americans often miss the point since Americans are quite uneducated and easily get bothered and hot under their bonnets.

 

          Yes, comedians hold creative license such as artists and musicians and writers and such.

 

          No one tells any comedian how far their material may or may not go. No.

 

          No one ever asks a professional comedian for an apology otherwise the comedic point is lost and becomes moot and absurd.

 

          Let’s get over our collective egos and make use of our poetic license amongst professionals who know what it is professionals do better than any general public filled with uneducated fools about words and the ignorance about what the history of words mean if anything thus we must not forget words are thin air otherwise America is truly in trouble.

 

          What comedians say is essential towards the progressive and developed intellectual growth of America otherwise if only corporate America has a voice and truly treats economic slaves like “niggers” then the word “nigger” truly doesn’t mean anything since as Americans we allow for corporate America to treat workers as any working body of “niggers” and what bothers Americans the most?

 

          Does economic imbalance most bother Americans to have any professional comedian utilize the word “nigger” or to have corporate America treat American citizens and civilians such as “niggers.”

 

          It’s up to America.

 

          What’s America truly insulted by?

 

          Is it the fact, “economic” and “racial” slavery is still an ‘actual’ fact of life or Americans don’t actually know what the history of the word “nigger” means?

 

          Let’s get over our wounded egos as a country of fools who don’t know any better much less which policies to truly get behind and support for the benefit of all global civilization.

 

          Americans aren’t radical extremists. No.

 

---  ---  ---

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

Parental Alienation

 

The Courts Decide

Not a Matter of Public Opinion

 

          This past Friday a Twin Cities’ musician decided to character assassinate one Duluth, Minnesota musician for the entire world to read over online social media.

 

          We all caught a sight of it. Yikes. Breathe.

 

          My heart went out to the Duluth, Minnesota musician who I don’t know at all and haven’t ever met.

 

          My heart went out to this Duluth, Minnesota man and father who did get called inappropriate names and accused as a ‘woman abuser’ when the courts have already proven such any false allegations to be false thus and therefore the courts already decided against untrue and unfounded allegations of physical domestic violent abuse between two exes and former partners as co-parents thus the father is now permitted to parent as he best sees fit for his children whenever the father were to parent as any mature adult man does.

 

          The ‘dirty laundry’ is out of the cat’s bag therefore let’s address online social media etiquette for all our healthy creative and artistic sakes.

 

          The fact is the Duluth, Minnesota male musician father to his children is granted by the courts and bestowed a significant legal parental fathering role in the lives of his amazing and beautiful children, as is my guess, since all children are beautiful even though I don’t personally like to take care of or look after children.

 

          The courts decide and the courts decided the Duluth, Minnesota male musician father would indeed and in fact freely tend to his children as I understand him to be an involved and respectful and loving “straight edge” father who doesn’t smoke cigarettes or drinks any alcohol or does any drugs. Wow. What a strong human being.

 

          (Side note: I was “straight edge” for many years and it’s a real dedication to a strict lifestyle as is with being vegan.)

 

          The bewilderment to read the comments of one irresponsible and unprofessional Twin Cities’ male musician indeed make atrocious public statements against the true character of our Duluth, Minnesota musician son is profound and obvious the Twin Cities’ musician was not only cowardly in his speech and manner of tone as well as unprofessional and willing to sabotage another’s private reputation due to social media rumors and many untruths which an entire state of artists and creative types and creative professionals are aware of the here say “she said” “he said” and untrue allegations of one woman’s falsehoods and lies about the father of her children and the devaluing of the father’s great worth as a human being and fatherly role and immense humanity and awesome ability to make great music and to father well. What more would anybody ask for?

 

          When I saw the public statements made I didn’t know what to think except…how painful and how awful for this Duluth, Minnesota male musician father to be torn apart out in the open for public consumption and beady little eyeballs to read and enjoy the mess of it all.

 

          How awful for any person to have their personal lives ousted and displayed all over social media. I cringed.

 

          Yes, I mean, if one were to have personal writings then from scratch design and build any private website or platform and make one’s own opinions and truths known, however.

 

          Not over online social media where we all share a common space and love for the art of music and general agape and platonic love for our Duluth, Minnesota sons and their great and awesome responsibilities as mature adult men of the world and excellent fathers.

 

          From the very little I know.

 

          From the very little I gather about the ex-wife or former female partner to the Duluth, Minnesota’s male musician father is she has an online social media page in which she’s displays her raw angst and anger and emotions and frustrations and incorrectly lied about physical violence abuse which didn’t ever occur against her person or body or self.

 

          If social media users don’t know this by now then allow for me to be the first one to set the record straight.

 

          Online social media isn’t a tool or a platform to air out grievances. No.

 

          Online social media is to connect to other like minded people or people we’ve actually met and know from our past.

 

          No, I don’t have any social media.

 

          Still I know what goes on social media therefore social media commentary goes far out into the world.

 

          Social media commentary makes content into the real world thus one must be quite careful as to what one writes over online social media otherwise one’s liable to any type of lawsuit especially when any individual(s) doesn’t own their own private website.

 

          All and any content posted over social media belongs to the respective companies and not to any individual or group of individuals.

 

          If anybody wants a public spectacle then guess what?

 

          The goal was set and met since I’m now writing about social media liable words only because the uncalled for and unprofessional situation and rude online comments did upset a group of Duluth, Minnesota local musicians since yes, thousands, if, not, then tens of thousands of artists and creative types and creative professionals throughout the world did read some mean spirited and uncalled for comments made against the Duluth, Minnesota’s male musician father and his private business with his ex which none of us have to read about or know anything about it. Thank you.

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: 1,845

 

Word Count: 1,597

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 8,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count: 4,310 + 1,597 = 5,907

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #24 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #18 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #89 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

 

“Gray hair is worthless if the brain is still green.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Incontrovertible (cannot prove wrong, indisputable)

 

An incontrovertible argument was presented for the adoption of the resolution.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: 7:42pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

          Grammatical corrections were made.

 

---  ---  ---

 

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

Marriage vs. Divorce

August 2017

 

          Let’s get a few things straight:

 

          For as long as I live, no man or woman will ever own me, or make a possession out of me, or dehumanize me, or criticize me, or be any blatant type of racist against the natural color of my skin pigmentation nor will anyone be against my intelligence nor against my smarts nor ever be allowed to call me the N-word nor make an unpaid domestic slave out of me much less waste my time with unpaid hard labor expected of me which is neither considerate nor fun nor respectful of myself or my time. Thank you.

 

          No one will ever again even so much as begin to assume or demand or command not one single free chore from me since I’m my own vessel and mature adult woman and person with a true personality and courage and ability to think through my decisions and make healthy and wonderful and amazing choices for myself even though people in my life have demanded obligations from me to “bend over backwards” to their pressure or will to do for them what they choose not to do for themselves such as clean and cook and do chores and fix their properties and fix the roof shingles and clean windows and mow unless I were to verbally volunteer without pay one week out of my summers to organize one space for one legitimate business owner simply and most likely because I’ve fallen in love with the space and will choose to volunteer to either organize the space as an art curator and will step into the space for actual commercial value and sanity to the owner and productivity and goodwill to their staff.

 

          No, not, ever, will I volunteer to any cause or charity, not with my own two hands, anyway. No thank you.

 

          We carry global families on our annual budgets.

 

          Not once ever again will I work for free for anyone unless I actually decide to volunteer which mainly the idea to want to volunteer would have to be structured organization and fun and laughter and work off calories without killing oneself in the process.

 

          Not once ever again will I clean for free unless it’s a tremendous gift to any negative space or building from my true sweat and heartfelt emotion only because I’ve actually fallen in love with the building or space and the building or space as any grandiose metaphor, per se, either the building or space have fallen back in love with me.

 

          Otherwise, it’s futile to structurally organize any space or building for which doesn’t like the person who does the organization in healthy lifestyle choices for others’ benefit and healthy lifestyle living and work conditions to better living.

 

~~~

“Listen to me...”

 

          Current legal partner and I’ve held screaming matches about the need to break up and within a year of marriage I continued to ask legal partner for a divorce each week or each month or each every six months for years now.

 

          Current legal partner and I married on April 17, 2009.

 

          On our first wedding anniversary we had our first and only miscarriage. It was my first and only pregnancy.

 

          The week of April 17, 2010 the doctors at Walt Disney’s hospital confirmed our first and only miscarriage through an ultrasound test which Current legal partner was a witness to the test and present in the room.

 

          Yes, ever since the first month Current legal partner moved in with me and into our two bedroom flat in Uptown, Minneapolis, MN in December of 2006, I’ve wanted for us to break up.

 

          Right after we moved in together I pleated with legal partner and asked legal partner to please to break up.

 

          Since, legal partner didn’t listen then I began to yell then scream then cry then yell and scream all over again from 2009-2012.

 

          How annoying can such miscommunication be? Quite.

 

          Before legal partner moved in with me, I told legal partner to please not do so and somehow we made the joint decision for legal partner to move into the apartment when it was the last thing I ever wanted since I knew perfectly well it would be nearly impossible to get out of the relationship once legal partner moved into my apartment. It’s proven to be the most difficult eleven year break up in the world.

 

          Still yet I stay since I feel the pressure and obligation to take care of Eric’s emotional needs when my emotional needs are hardly ever met thus I don’t leave since I haven’t been able to get up the courage to allow for Current legal partner to live out his own life while I live out mine.

 

          My wanting a divorce for over a decade is no secret.

 

          Yes, I’ve asked Current legal partner for a divorce ever since December of 2006 when we moved in together and “off to the races” we went and didn’t ever look back in an overly co-dependent soberly verbally abusive troubles in our relationship which our relationship hasn’t ever looked good since the start and we’ve both known this to be a strong truth.

 

          Our relationship held a bleak outlook from the start when my male friends told me not to marry legal partner thus my male friends at the time of our marriage refused to shake Eric’s hand at our wedding reception.

 

          My male friends’ misbehavior in social interactions about killed me since legal partner was officially then my husband, and me, his wife.

 

          At the time in 2009, my male friends disliked Eric.

 

          Legal partner didn’t like any of my alcoholic male friends thus I ended many, if, not all of my male friendships in August of 2012 thus I’ve been living in solitary confinement in the suburbs ever since 2012 and before, back to 2009 when I began to work from home fulltime.

 

          In October 2008, one night Current legal partner arrived home from work and announced to me, legal partner wasn’t ever going to cook a meal in his life. Okay.

 

          On such a dark and stormy night, legal partner told me if I didn’t like the fact he wouldn’t ever lift a finger to help out in the kitchen then I could get out and go to a woman’s shelter which is exactly what I ought to have done.

 

          Today, legal partner agrees on such a stormy and rainy night I ought to have left forever our two bedroom apartment except I was afraid something terrible might happen to me on the streets of Minneapolis.

 

          The only reason why I stayed is because I was terrified to get physically hurt on a cold October night of 2008 while homeless.

 

          By December of 2009 I once again asked for a divorce.

 

          Each month for the year of 2010 I asked for a divorce.

 

          Each month for the year of 2011 I asked for a divorce.

 

          Each month for the year of 2012 I asked for a divorce.

 

          Each month for the year of 2013 I asked for a divorce.

 

          Each month for the year of 2014 I asked for a divorce.

 

          Each month for the year of 2015 I asked for a divorce.

 

          Every six months of 2016 I asked for a divorce.

 

          Once in 2017 I’ve asked for a divorce.

 

          About to ask for another divorce except this time I’m not really about to ask. I’m moving on.

 

          Current legal partner doesn’t take me seriously enough to know my own mind.

 

          Repeatedly, Current legal partner’s told me if I leave then he will most likely die and the pressure is, too, much for me.

 

          No, I’m not able to live with the possibility Current legal partner might die because of my departure. No.

 

          However, to stay in our marriage and relationship might kill me.

 

          No, I refuse to be Eric’s misery and distress, however.

 

          Eric’s been my misery and distress for over a decade and legal partner knows it all, too, well.

 

          We live in the lonely suburbs of the Twin Cities, Minnesota.

 

          Personally, I don’t like how large our 4 bedroom, 2 bath, two floor home is.

 

          As of December of 2006 (eleven years ago) I’ve been the only one who does all of the yard maintenance and laundry and chores and house painting and prepared meals and cooked meals (through six years of a vegan lifestyle which was a waste of both of our time) and clean up and wash dishes and place dishes away and wipe down counters and make the bed each day and change the bedding each week and serve legal partner hand-and-foot and help legal partner clothes shop then purchase his clothes and set budgets and keep budgets and ledgers to our thirty-eight thousand dollar ($38,000) household budget through a twenty year case study which we’ve made it through eleven year of a case study of 99% of Americans’ median income which is $38,000 for a family of four per annual yearly salary.

 

          Legal partner makes eighty thousand per yearly annual salary.

 

          We make one-hundred and sixty thousand per annual income.

 

          Legal partner does indeed bring home bacon.

 

          As an American part-time housewife I make zero dollars cleaning part-time per twenty hours per weekly sacrifice.

 

          The drudgery of carrying a home alone is immense.

 

          The drudgery of carrying a home alone is difficult and lonely and alone.

 

          Much manual labor is involved in housekeeping which is often overlooked and underappreciated by anyone who sits around and hardly ever lifts a finger in any marriage or relationship since it’s not they who put in the hours of drudgery.

 

          Also I’ve clocked in an additional eight years of bi-weekend cleaning and elderly care for my 90 year old In-Laws who’ve told me on the second weekend of April 2016, “I wish you hadn’t ever married Eric!” Okay.

 

          Both Current legal partner and I wish we hadn’t ever married each other, either.

 

          Our general dislike of each other is made clear and evident.

         

          One of our rules is I’m not to ever again skateboard since it’s too dangerous or go dance anywhere in public except our basement then what type of a suffocating life am I to lead without live music or my skateboard?

 

          One of our rules is I’m not allowed to go out pass 8:00pm since it’s dangerous in public.

 

          Another of our stupid rules is I’m only to go out once per each decade on my birthdays and not ever in the summer time or at any other time. Ah, not okay.

 

          No coffee shops.

 

          No libraries.

 

          No book readings.

 

          No movies.

 

          No public life whatsoever.

 

          Eleven years ago legal partner decided he wasn’t ever going to go out with me and socialize thus the decision has been final ever since.

 

          No, I don’t want to be a married woman living an alone existence until legal partner tells me to let down my long hair and he can make use of my hair as a latter while he climbs the tower and pulls on my hair and scalp as an analogy. No.

 

          The fact we don’t like being married to each other is well made aware and communicated between us over the eleven years of our relationship and marriage.

 

          Our dislike between us, both current legal partner and me, as husband and wife is quite distinctly real and already very much communicated.

 

          Mostly we don’t like each other’s lifestyles or generations since Eric’s a baby-boomer and I’m a Gen-Xer.

 

          Yes, we have a monogamous relationship even though I’m out come this August 2017.

 

          Tomorrow, I plan to file for divorce papers and as a second class citizen as a woman of color I’m expected to once more starve if I have to, however.

 

          My goal is to walk out since Eric’s already made clear he’ll make sure I get nothing. Not okay, however. I accept it.

 

          Legal partner may have our house and furniture and car and land and properties and investments and shampoo.

 

          What legal partner may not have is my minimal wardrobe I’ve built since December of 2014 and my tablet and laptop.

 

          Legal partner will get everything since this is the lifestyle he wants and this is what he wants in life and I don’t.

 

          Eric’s not willing to change thus I am.

 

          Personally, I love our block, however. I don’t like some of the physically abusive and verbally abusive neighbors.

 

          Personally, after four years of living on this block I find our neighbors absolutely violent. There’re police reports to show and prove the evidence of hate-crimes of neighbors upon neighbors in this abusive neighborhood.

 

          Personally, for four years I’ve asked Current legal partner to sell the home and let’s move anywhere else.

 

          Current legal partner stays put in Minnesota for 90 year olds. I don’t.

 

~~~

My Finn-Jewish Minnesota Family

 

          My Finn-Jewish Minnesota family and I have already spoken and established and agreed upon, I’m not to ever personally financially support the baby-boomers in our family or physically take care of the baby-boomers in any way shape or form or manner since baby-boomers didn’t take care of us while growing up. Okay. Thanks.

 

          My Finn-Jewish Minnesota family and I have already spoken and established and agreed upon, I’m neither obligated nor punished, or hated upon, or belittled, or dehumanized nor estranged or abandoned nor must I ever feel obligated to entertain or socialize with the baby-boomers in their retired years. Okay. Thank you.

 

          Yes, I may come and go as I please.

 

          Yes, I may go home and go around my family whenever I very well feel like it and want to which is hardly ever since I make my own best company and don’t fight with myself while humans tend to want to bicker or assert dominance or have a “pissing contest” as to whom is the ‘leader of the pack’ or the hierarchy and I don’t care. I simply like a good meal and not a fight over the course of a meal.

 

          No, I don’t mind passionate conversation at the dinner table.

 

          However, screaming matches between family members literally leaves me sick to my stomach for weeks and sometimes months on end.

 

          Furthermore, my Finn-Jewish Minnesota family will love me until the end of time no matter what I choose to do or decide.

 

          My father told me marriage isn’t forever.

         

          In our Finn-Jewish Minnesota family no one is a “demon” or a “devil” or the “Scarlet Letter” or dismissed or abandoned for making one’s own life choices or plans to the right to be happy and healthy and productive with one’s own made mature adult decisions while anybody else may “go jump in the lake.”

 

          My family has granted me the permission not to care what anybody thinks of me. Thank you.

 

          Yes, I was once heavily drugged up and sexually molested and felt up while in my long johns in March of 2011.

 

          An entire group of staff and workers and social group of people in south, Minneapolis apologized in September of 2011 for the unfortunate mishap which occurred in March of 2011.

 

          Yes, I forgave them all, however.

 

          Indeed, I did get to walk away with writing material since the apology was made and this is my life which such a mishap ended my film career forever.

 

          Could one imagine the career of any man ruined if he were sexually molested? Most likely not.

 

          Nevertheless, women pay for men’s misbehaviors thus women sacrifice more than men do.

 

          Yes, I was once man handled and had an Iraqi put his hand under my shirt and pinched my nipple in public at the Gay 90’s. I forgive.

 

          My reputation is impeccable.

 

          Anything else is consensual between mature adults and nobody else.

 

          No body tells anybody else how to live.

 

          Mainly most of life is all “suffering” or “work” as my father used to tell to me at the age of fourteen thus “have fun!” and don’t care what anyone thinks of you. Okay. I won’t.

 

          How correct my father was.

 

          Personally, I like to work hard and play hard.

 

          Personally, I’m not cut out to be a domestic wife slave without any type of financial benefits or rewards or vacations for six years at a time while working away for over a decade with a partner who early on told me he wasn’t going to ever lift a finger to help out in the home and legal partner didn’t lie about it.

 

          Legal partner told the truth, however. Then legal partner ought to have been truthful and admitted he wanted a maid or a mommy or a nanny rather than a wife.

 

          Within the last decade of marriage I helped legal partner get set up in an apartment during his already established break up and divorce to his first wife of sixteen years before legal partner and I ever met each other thus legal partner had nowhere to live in December of 2006 when both legal partner and I had only met August of 2006.

 

          Within the last decade I committed “corporate career suicide” to help save Eric’s corporate career when I refused to serve in any type of corporate espionage against legal partner thus legal partner has a wonderful corporate career because I killed mine for his.

 

          Within the past decade I’ve helped legal partner and his first wife of sixteen years pay off one-hundred thousand dollars in educational loans in the form of credit card debt while legal partner refuses to allow for me to further my education and by now I could have my PhD which is all I want in life.

 

          Once a year for an entire decade I’ve asked legal partner to please give me his blessing to go get my doctorate to teach doctorate fellows. No go.

 

          Yes, I would like a graduate degree in astronomy.

 

          Within the last decade my awesome credit score helped legal partner purchase his first home at the age of 49.

 

          Within the this decade my awesome credit score has helped Current legal partner purchase one used car and one brand new car.

 

          Within the this decade I’ve helped legal partner get set up with furnishings and an entire home for legal partner and I don’t even like living in the lonely suburbs of the Twin Cities.

 

          Countless of times over the years I’ve packed up my meager belongings into our car and completely left with the clothes on my back while all Eric’s ever been concerned with is getting the car back in the morning to go to work the following day. Take a taxi.

 

          No, I haven’t threatened to leave. I have left.

 

          Yes, each time I’ve left, Eric’s frozen out our bank account since all of our money is in Eric’s name which I’ve only once during January 2017 was actually allowed to see the checking account for the first time ever in eleven years of marriage. Wow.

 

          Yes, each time I’ve decided to leave in the middle of the night then Eric’s told me to go to a woman’s shelter. Not okay.

 

          My heart breaks each time Legal partner tells me I’m to go homeless since legal partner found me working in corporate America as a communications broadcast engineer thus for legal partner to tell me to go to homeless isn’t financially comparable to where legal partner found me.

 

          Okay, when I leave I’ll have absolutely no money or properties or finances or investments. I’ll have to start all over again at the very beginning since Eric’s already told me this is what will happen and it will because Eric’s no going to let go of any of our wealth.

 

          Yes, I’ve made the decision to leave here with my name and writings and work and computer software systems and website and tablet and a backpack and nothing much else because if I stay I will shrivel up and die.

 

          No, I’m not able to be isolated in life. I’m a social creature.

 

          For eleven straight years Eric’s goal in life is to sit in front of the television and television isn’t my ideal to any healthy lifestyle to imagination or creation or community building or moral support or true friendships without judgment or punishment for least not wanting to stay in an unhealthy and unreasonable relationship.

 

          Yes, today I returned home to get two operations.

 

          Yes, today I returned home to pay off the last of our meager bills and square away our finances and get legal partner financially set up in life and allow for legal partner to have his dream while I start anew and fresh in Duluth, MN which countless of times I’ve asked legal partner to move back to Kettle River, MN or Duluth, MN and legal partner says, “You can’t eat the scenery.” Okay.

 

          Then I guess I might starve once more in Duluth, MN.

 

          Yet, one mustn’t live out one’s days alone forever cleaning.

 

          Yes, I’ll continue to write and fulfill my creative responsibilities.

 

          Yes, ever since I was sixteen my goal’s been to write the next great American novel.

 

          Yes, I’m forever a retired filmmaker of six years.

 

          Yes, I’ll continue to skateboard until I’m no longer able to in old age.

 

          Yes, I want a monogamous and exclusive future relationship.

 

          Yes, I’d love to marry again and make a lifelong commitment to the right and kind and intelligent and smart man who understands I’m human and neither an object or possession.

 

          No, no one has to pay for my rent or bills or whatever.

 

          This will be my fourth fortune I’ve lost and will walk away from since I’m not bound by any conventional rules or regulations as a modern woman.

 

          My dad told me it is okay to get divorced and I also think it is okay to get divorced, too.

 

          No, we didn’t try.

 

          We did our best.

 

          We did our best and didn’t fail at anything other than equal domestic rights and In-Law’s racist disrespect which they’ve asked me for their forgiveness and I’ve granted them such an awesome gift to forgive.

 

          However, I win my freedom.

 

          Yes, in the fall of 2017 I’ll move to Duluth, MN and stay unless I once more starve then I’ll head for Hollywood to write for television and the silver screen. Yep.

 

          “The world’s my oyster” and the only place which is difficult to financially carve out a meager living is either Detroit, MI or Duluth, MN, however.

 

          Duluth, MN and Los Angeles, California and Cambridge, MA and Manhattan, N.Y.C. all call out to me ever since I left Duluth, MN in May 1, 2004.

 

          The Twin Cities is racist.

 

          The Twin Cities is exclusive of artists or writers.

 

          The Twin Cities is…

 

          Yes, I will spend the years and decades writing and not volunteering with any other artists since I don’t have time to freely volunteer to help others create when I have my very own creations to attend to.

 

          Current legal partner already knows all of this.

 

          No, I don’t ever want to have a barky dog for as long as I live.

 

          No, I don’t ever want…

 

          Peace.

 

          This is not anybody’s business.

 

          My family has granted me the right to be happy. Okay.

 

          Yes, I’ve been a most dutiful wife.

 

          Yes, this marriage struggle has almost broken my back.

 

          No, I shan’t ever need a shrink to help me decide my life for myself.

          No, let’s not pretend as though anyone’s got my back since life has taught me we’re born alone, we live out our existence alone and we die alone.

 

          Let’s not ever pretend as though I’m safe.

 

          As any mature adult woman I now make my own decisions and I shall live out my life as a human and not as an object to be dehumanized or objectified.

 

          At the age of 24, my parents told me not to ever ask them for any financial assistance even if I were to starve or go homeless as an adult thus my parents don’t ever get to tell me how to live out my life. Okay.

 

          All I care about is the Maya gods.

 

          All I care about is our family and friends.

 

          All I care about is health and wellness.

 

          All I care about is writing.

 

          All I care about is respectful love.

 

          All I care about is good clean fun.

 

          All I care about is freedom.

 

          All I care is about food in the belly.

 

          All I care about is seeking out the best water resources in the world.

 

          No, I don’t want to birth or raise my own children. No.

 

          From here on out I choose art over this immense marital loneliness.

 

          No, I’m not lonely, since I’ve been alone for an entire decade of marriage.

          If I know anything then it is how to best spend time alone without being lonely or bored while I work and relax since being alone is all I’ve done in two decades of research and study thus choosing to be lonely seems destructive and confusing and I’m neither destructive nor confused.

 

          Tonight I know my mind better than I have in eleven years of marriage.

 

          At least, I’m relieved for it all to be over and start anew.

 

          Yes, Current legal partner’s mother already knows I want a divorce.

 

          We’ve talked about it.

 

          Eric’s mother asked me if legal partner ever hit me and of course, I said no.

 

          Since legal partner hasn’t ever hit me then Eric’s mother believes I ought to grit my teeth and bare more of this decade long unhappiness. As if. I’m not stupid. I’m not a glutton for punishment.

 

          When do I get to be happy?

 

          When will I stop being treated like a mule?

 

          When will I be seen as an intelligent and kind and smart woman?

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: 3,000 (make-up work from previous week)

 

Word Count: 4,310

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 8,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count: 4,310

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #24 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #18 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #89 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

Monday, June 5, 2017

 

“If a grandmother had a beard, she’d be a grandfather.”

 

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

 

Incipience (beginning stage, first stage)

 

A riot was stopped in its incipience.

 

---  ---  ---

 

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

 

Street Etiquette.

 

Shouting.

 

Chapter 9.

Page 136

 

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

 

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

 

---  ---  ---

 

Hello.

 

Upload: pm CT

 

---  ---  ---

 

~~~

No Whining

No Complaining

 

“Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself.”

                                            --- J.F.K.

 

~~~

 

“Fight for your right to party.”

                                                       --- Beastie Boys

 

~~~

Trump/Russia

Impeachment 2017

 

~~~

The F.B.I. is our only hope.

 

~~~

Cocaine and Prostitution

Will be legalized

In 2017-2018

 

~~~

Love

Trumps

Hate

 

~~~

Marriage vs. Divorce

August 2017

 

~~~

No Blog

 

 

          Yours Truly;

 

          Gabriel

 

 

Word Count Goal: (0) traveling

 

Word Count: 0

 

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 8,000

 

This Week’s Total Word Count: 0

         

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

 

*)        Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

 

*)        Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

 

*)        Blood Pressure: 102/66 mmHg / Pulse: 86 (04/07/17)

 

*)        CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16) 273 (04/07/17) 

 

          HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16), 53 (04/07/17)

 

          Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16), 389 (04/07/17) 

 

          LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16) 142 (04/07/17) 

 

          CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16) 5.2 (04/07/17) 

                                                             

          NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

 

          IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl (01/22/16)

 

          CORTISOL, Total

          19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

         

*)        Week #24 without any higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

 

*)        Week #18 one sleeping pill per night by mouth “Zolpidem

          Tartrate” 10 MG

 

*)        Week #89 (09/03/15) on antidepressants specifically for fake-pregnancy hormones, one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram

          Oxalate” 20 MG (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

 

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