Wednesday, September 30, 2015
“[The Sabbath] is a sign
between me and the children of Israel.”
(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)
Corroded (ate away, destroyed)
The acid was so strong that it corroded the plates in a hurry.
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A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated,, King, Richardson & CO,. Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.
Self-Culture.
Have Some Worthy Aim.
Chapter 15.
Page 211
To be
industrious, a young man must have a useful
pursuit and a worthy aim. He must follow that pursuit diligently. Rising
early and economizing his moments, he must earnestly persist in his toil,
adding little by little to his capital stock of ideas, influence or wealth. He
must learn to glory in his labor, be it mechanical, agricultural or
professional. He must impress himself deeply with the idea that a life of
idleness is one of the direst of all curses.
This passage is correctly copied over unto this page.
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Hello.
Written at: 2:33 P.M. CT on 9/30/15
Upload: on Thursday 10/1/15 at 9:47 A.M. CT
“Internet” Outage.
Personal Notes
Yes, my personal experience with vaginal hemorrhaging is hemorrhaging doesn’t only happen for one day and then hemorrhaging stops. No.
As a woman who happens to hemorrhage on a bi-yearly basis for the last five years due to extreme illness I tend to change my sanitary napkin once per hour for weeks on end when and only I do hemorrhage. Extensive blood loss is real.
It seems with hemorrhaging such episodes will go on for weeks or even up to two or three months at a time.
When I wrote, “I only hemorrhaged once.” I meant to clump entire three or four weeks to eight or more weeks or even up to three months at a time as one time period or as one event total or as one time or as once because vaginal hemorrhaging seems to last forever before it stops completely for about six months and begins a cycle of more hemorrhaging again for another eight weeks or more of continuous hemorrhaging.
All one can do is change out sanitary napkins every two to three hours with the nighttime thick pads for weeks on end. I stay home and don’t risk going anywhere if I can help it. I’m careful about furniture and my clothes. I like for my body and mind and spirit to be clean thus I am.
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A “wankster” is a poser, 1994 verbiage.
Correction from “wangster” to “wankster.” Thank you.
Correction from “Manchurian” monkey to “Capuchin” monkey. Thank you.
*) (I don’t know what I thought. I must’ve thought of Manchuria (the country) which I often have thought of Manchuria since the age of fourteen or so.)
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Is Pope Francis a wankster?
Is Pope Francis a poser for the Catholic Roman Church for which for thousands of years has and do sexually molest and rape specifically children-boys?
Yes, Pope Francis appears to be a wankster on same-sex marriage Constitutional Laws of today.
Equality for all or Equality for none.
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Has Vladimir Putin lost his mind?
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Modern Literary Notes
Modern Americans hardly ever speak slang English.
Americans just don’t. Not in this modern day in era.
Modern Americans speak in properly constructed present tense terms and sentences or correctly utilize the past tense term with clear dictation and enunciation in their voice when they speak to others. Yes.
Modern Americans speak extraordinarily beautiful English.
Modern Americans speak with an extensive array of lovely English words.
Modern Americans are into vocabulary words.
Modern Americans are wild about vocabulary words.
Modern Americans speak well spoken English.
Unless Americans are incredibly under educated or as any smart-alecky semiotic (visual significance) “mind’s eye” example to create visuals for the ear to listen, per se, (as a romantic example about the senses) to make, and show, and portray, strong points about how smart the speaker or writer is since some forms of southern slag is some of the most complex and difficult bowels and sounds to enunciate or correctly write down in the proper order otherwise improperly spoken slang sounds more like gibberish if slang isn’t spoken correctly in a particular order. Yes.
(Yes, I’m terrible at imitating dialects. I’m considered “tone def.” I can’t seem to carry pitch or tune or count even if I tried to. No, I don’t sing. Unless by myself I can evenly hit high notes and carry an entire song along to played songs. In front of others; Complete and Utter Failure to sing in correct pitch or tone or to imitate foreign dialects unless I’ve spent any prolonged amount of time with foreign people or in certain regions. It seems at about four weeks one’s entire diction and pitch and dialect may change. I don’t know how it happens. It does. Assimilation? Who knows? I don’t know.)
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Important Literary Notes
“I got” is a type of former English slang language neither professionally nor personally used by modern Americans.
“I got” is for two-year old language. Gibberish.
“I got” is for English as a Second Language children and adults. Gibberish.
More precisely:
“I received” instead of “I got.”
“I have” instead of “I got.”
“I’ve had” instead of “I got.”
“I have had” instead of “I got.”
“I arrived” instead of “I got there.”
“I became successful” instead of “I got successful.”
“They have” instead of “they got.”
Any formal usage other than “I got” because “I got” is improper English and incorrect and wrong unless used in the vernacular. However, the “vernacular” isn’t for any type of television news or otherwise.
Yes, I work at not utilizing “I got” in my every day speech.
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Hardly, any modern American begins a sentence with “So,” because “so,” means “The End.” Nothing more needs to be said.
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Bad Friendships.
Nonfiction
(One Word)
Easy Now.
~~~
::: Non-Friendships :::
Stalling.
No, I don’t know how to construct this literary piece as an end to this chapter.
Okay, most likely by now I have 5,000 words written as of Wednesday of this week, thus I’m out of here (for now) to attend to other aspects of business and creation.
~~~
There’s nothing wrong with a “one man band.”
Unless a “one man band” can’t seem to keep correct count or beat or tune then we have problems.
~~~
No, I don’t Photoshop myself to look better.
We have a small team of engineers who help us and propose to resubmit any “self portraits” in the 50 year series for further Photoshop work because “my” Photoshop skills are still intermediate professional and plateau.
It’ll take me another twenty years to master Photoshop.
Thus far I’ve consistently for the past fifteen years worked with Photoshop as any other diligent and dutiful and responsible professional in the field.
Yes, our engineers put the final touches on the “self-portraits” and / or “self portraits” when our engineers believe any “self portrait” photograph ought to be published more so like the Mona Lisa than not.
Not because I’m the Mona Lisa by any stretch of the imagination.
More so because engineers want to increase the value of the “self portraits” and all I want is a flip book at the end of the “self portrait” series.
No, I can’t watch when other engineers Photoshop my face or otherwise. I don’t want to look. I know I have blemishes and some small fat deposits on my face. I can’t personally Photoshop my face because I feel as though the viewer ought to really see what I look like in person. Imperfect as always.
Truly Yours;
Gabriel
Word Count Goal: 1,000
Word Count: 1,244
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000
This Week’s Total Word Count: 5,298
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #3 without disciplining neighborhood children. One-year vow of silence. I love it.
*) Day #10 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #164 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #585 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #17 without a cigarette: I like it.
*) Week #2 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #50 work on 245 cholesterol as of June 2015. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty-four and a half (24.5”) natural inch high waist without a corset. Yes! Let’s Go, Ladies!
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
“Shabbes (the Sabbath) is
the Queen of the week.”
(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)
Deft (skillful, quick and neat in action)
With one deft movement, the surgeon made the incision.
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A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated,, King, Richardson & CO,. Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.
Self-Culture.
Careless Reading Impairs The Mind.
Chapter 15.
Pages 210-211
Reading is to the mind what eating is to the body; and reflection is similar to digestion. To eat, without giving nature time to assimilate the food to herself by the slower process of digestion is to deprive her, first, of health, and then of life; so to cram the intellect by reading without due reflection is to weaken and paralyze the mind. He who reads thus has “his perceptions dazzled and confused by the multitude of images presented to them.” There are a very large number of young men just entering upon life, of good minds but deficient education who, from this cause, are kept back and labor under great disabilities. Many of these are mechanics, and others have no regular calling whatsoever, and find it very difficult to earn anything beyond a very meager support. Upon these we would urge with great earnestness the duty of self-education, so called. The deficiencies of early years need not keep them back from positions of eminence in society---those positions awarded only to men of intellectual force and sound information---if they will but strive for them. A vast amount of knowledge may be gained in the course of a very few years, by rightly employing those leisure hours which every one has; and this knowledge, if of a practical kind, will always insure to a man the means of elevation in the world.
No matter what a young man’s situation and prospects are; no matter if he is perfectly independent in his circumstances, and heir of two millions, he will certainly become a worthless character if he does not aim at something higher than his own selfish enjoyment; if he does not indeed devote himself to some honorable and useful calling.
Yes, I re-read the passage and it is correctly copied today.
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Hello.
Upload: 2:44 P.M. CT
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Side bar: {“Planned Parenthood” saved my life.
The first time I ever hemorrhaged I was twenty-six years of life.
Then I didn’t know what was wrong with my body even though I was told by other medical professionals from low-income clinics I’d had a miscarriage.
Yet, it was impossible for me to have had a miscarriage because at such a time I hadn’t had sex in years.
The first time I hemorrhaged was summer of 2003 and I didn’t have health care insurance therefore I lived with more or less three months of hemorrhaging at one time.
Again I hemorrhaged winter of 2005 and spring of 2006. I didn’t have any health care insurance at the time either and if it hadn’t been for “Planned Parenthood” I most likely would have bled to death.
It was “Planned Parenthood’s” medical professional experts who discovered I didn’t have herpes I had cysts. Thank you very much!!!}
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“Nodular” melanoma patients
May expect to live eight and a half months
From diagnosis
Yes, the melanoma (skin cancer) tumor I had cut out on December of 1998 as a junior at university was indeed healthy looking like a “pink zit” over the smooth surface of my skin.
However, the outer-ring color around my tumor was first light green and then eventually over time the outer-ring began to turn into a darkish-green and it became painfully clear the tumor underneath the surface darkened into an almost blackish-green color towards the end of one complete year with the bright pink color still on top over the surface of my skin like a bad zit.
My tumor looked like a bad pink zit for an entire full year.
It wasn’t the pink color which alarmed me. No.
It was the outer ring which changed color and I was more concerned with the green change in color because the green color was a clear indication of what occurred below the surface of the skin with a tumor hardened the size of frozen pea and with the consistency of a little rock or frozen pea itself.
My tumor didn’t grow in size or ever change consistency. No.
It wasn’t until one complete year in which the pea size tumor began to take more of an elongated form fin the shape of an eraser head instead from the shape of a perfectly round and hardened pea size tumor as my tumor made a mad dash for my cheek bone.
~~~
In the year in which I lived with such a deadly tumor I did “pop” my tumor thinking it was a zit and the tumor bled like no other zit I ever had thus I stopped picking at it because it frightened me.
The type of skin cancer or melanoma I had is one in which mainly and only 50 year old men get.
However, I had my tumor and it is called a “nodular” tumor for which most patients aren’t even given one year to live.
Most patients with “nodular” tumors the size of no larger than an eraser head don’t live past eight and a half months from diagnosis therefore we moved quickly and cut out my tumor from my body while we still could and while we still had a chance because my tumor wanted to take hold and root into my cheek bone.
My tumor didn’t grow outward. No.
My tumor ever so slightly grew inward resting on top of my cheek bone and began to take root there.
~~~
Some of my school mates at university thought I had made up my cancer diagnosis.
However, I barely made it out alive.
Yes, I was very lucky.
Yes, factually melanomas or skin cancers are more deadly than any other forms of cancer.
Yes, if I hadn’t cut out my melanoma then I would have been given the grave news to prepare to live for about eight and a half months. Say my prayers and good luck.
How does one tell school mates one dealt with grave danger in the face of survival with the probability of possibly only eight and a half months to live unless one made the decision to have one’s face cut open and scarred for life?
One doesn’t share such terrible odds with others.
One allows for others to believe one’s a liar because the probabilities are too gruesome to talk about.
Yes, I did the right thing at the time.
Seventeen years of remission.
Yes, I’m a cancer survivor. Yes!
Peoples’ personal health is extremely private business.
Mind Your Own Business.
~~~
Important Science Notes
September 2015
Is NASA okay?
America’s “Generation X” did get taught in seventh and eighth grade (1990-1992) about Mar’s factual water canals and so on and so forth. Let’s get it together America!
What. Since 1500’s humans have known about Mar’s factual water canals. Yes? No? Yes. Okay. Let’s move on.
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No, I don’t know anything about chimps or monkeys or primates for such matters.
However, I did enroll in ten straight years (10) of solid mathematics and as well as factual modern sciences or as factual as science can prove to be mathematical.
In the fourth grade (1987) science taught “Generation X” (what a terrible name for a generation) “The Big Bang Theory” was more or less factual. Not so by today’s scientific standards. Humanity didn’t explode into existence. No.
As a junior at university my peers out loud laughed at me for challenging Einstein’s theory about “anything” being capable to indeed travel faster than the speed of light. Absolutely so. Since about three years ago there’re factually proven elements for which can and do travel faster than the speed of light. Yes! (One serious science point goes to Gryffindor.) Thank you very much.
~~~
As for monkeys in general I don’t know anything about monkeys except for “Capuchin” monkeys of Costa Rica in Central America.
Yes, for the most part wildlife is wild and doesn’t even so much as slightly care to interact with humans as it ought to be so since humans smell terribly bad to other animals in the animal kingdom.
Yes, chimps and monkeys mainly and only throw feces while and during captivity.
Yes, female Capuchin monkeys (I think the female) do indeed throw rocks at their prospect sexual mates as a way to flirt.
Yes, Capuchin monkeys do indeed throw mangos at tin-huts and other standing structures.
Yes, Capuchin monkeys will indeed steal food of off an outdoor table or blanket or picnic.
Yes, Capuchin monkeys are extremely territorial.
~~~
Scientists say chimps and monkeys only fling feces in captivity. Okay.
It’s been scientifically proven the act of flinging feces is connected to higher I.Q. in monkeys and chimps.
However, I’m here to tell the reader Capuchin monkeys have a basic and fair knowledge of “fair-play” and “mathematics” therefore they have remarkable baseball throwing accuracy and even though most Capuchin monkeys are only about twelve pounds---Capuchin monkeys are indeed stronger than a child of six years of age.
Yes, Capuchin monkeys will fling feces with dead-on accuracy in the wild if one has trespassed upon significant barriers and physical topographical and geological boundaries.
Capuchin monkeys are envious and easily jealous creatures.
Capuchin monkeys aren’t very warm or inviting and they act out like “Jewish princesses” do just about anything which doesn’t agree with them thus Capuchin monkeys sometimes will and have and do fling feces when they feel extremely threatened in captivity and / or sometimes in nature.
Capuchin monkeys are noisy and mean creatures with high I.Q.
Yes, Capuchin monkeys can and do crack open clams by the jungle seaside shores of Costa Rican oceanic coastal lines.
Someday, science will find out Capuchin monkeys fling feces in the wild and I’ll be the happier for such findings so I don’t feel dumb all by myself since I’m anything but dumb. I’m quite intelligent and smart not because I was born as such but because I’ve had to work hard at developing my brains.
Science doesn’t know many aspects to life especially when science pretends like it does know every aspect there is to be known about most organisms.
Within five years if I have to make corrections about the Capuchin monkey then I will. I’ll set the record straight for the betterment of humanity.
Nonetheless, I lived in the Costa Rican jungle for more or less the first six years of my life. I know wildlife and to stay away from it.
Yes, I’m many things and a liar I’m not.
Yes, I’m many things and a thief I’m not.
Yes, I’m many things and an arsonist I’m not.
Yes, I’m human and imperfect.
Yes, I make corrections.
Yes, I stand by my words because these words are written and I want to get my words right and there’s only one of me doing my own research and the science is ever evolving and significantly changes.
Peace.
Yours Truly;
Gabriel
Word Count Goal: 1,000
Word Count: 1,656
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000
This Week’s Total Word Count: 4,054
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #2 without disciplining neighborhood children. One-year vow of silence. I love it.
*) Day #9 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #163 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #584 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #16 without a cigarette: I like it.
*) Week #2 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #50 work on 245 cholesterol as of June 2015. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty-four and a half (24.5”) natural inch high waist without a corset. Yes! Let’s Go, Ladies!
Monday, September 28, 2015
“The Sabbath was given for
pleasure [of the scholars].”
(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)
Degradation (disgrace, deterioration, reducing in moral standing)
He resigned rather than to submit to such degradation.
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A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated,, King, Richardson & CO,. Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.
Self-Culture.
Good Books Easily Accessible.
Chapter 15.
Page 210
The great thoughts of great men are now to be procured at prices almost nominal. Therefore, you can easily collect a library of choice authors. Public lectures are also abundant in our large cities. Attend the best of them and carefully treasure up the richest ideas. But, above all, learn to reflect even more than you read.
Corrections were made to the above passage as well as title of chapter and page. Thank you. I appreciate it.
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Hello.
Upload: 7:13 P.M. CT
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Corrections were made all around.
Corrections on dates were also made: Eric and I both lived together in Uptown, Minneapolis from December 15, 2006-August 31, 2012, as per the lease. Although we were already moved into our purchased homestead by August 1, 2012.
Eric and I met August 2006 when we began work together as highly qualified and capable and experienced and responsible professional broadcast engineers. We worked together until September 2007.
I’m terrible with dates and titles of books and authors’ names and the names of bands and titles of films as well as titles of albums or songs thus I keep notes then I don’t have to memorize anything. Thank you very much.
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“Escitalopram Oxalate 10MG”
(An Anti-depressant drug)
(“Take one tablet by mouth one time daily”)
Okay.
We’re about to finish up the first half of this blog series.
We’re about to begin our second half of this literary experiment starting with “positive constructive criticism” for the first 500 words and Mature Adult “constructive negative criticism” for the last 500 words as I write about many subject matter in the next five years to come.
Hopefully, by Friday I can have this ship turned around and miss a massive ice formation.
However, I sense and do feel as though I owe it to myself to set a clear scene for the reader as we’ve reached a climatic arch point in writing and begin to descend to the end of this story.
We’re not “dumb kids” thus we are respectful and responsible and kind and quiet and smart and intelligent and wise Mature Adults.
~~~
We must now begin to descend to a close and final chapter.
Five years will go by “in the blink of an eye.”
Five years from now this writing experiment will seem impossible to believe one decade went by and I wrote with due diligence not because I’m looking for accolades or awards or pets on the head. No.
The reader must understand I write because “the literary calling” is a great one to learn to become a better public writer thus I hope to continue on this literary journey all the way through to the blog’s completion and I think I will.
~~~
Our literary Nonfiction blog is now half way through its experimentation to conduct “Constructive Criticism” backwards.
Only as to leave the reader with a sweet taste in their mouth rather than vinegar in the form of mismanaged “negative constructive criticism” in the form of covered-up insults.
Now, as far as I personally may attest to literary writing workshops establish the process of “negative constructive criticism” as a brutal and cut-throat aspect to education depending on who sits in specific writers’ workshops.
Otherwise, “negative constructive criticism” doesn’t mean one has cart blanche to attack one’s class mates or opponents or competitors or friends or colleagues or enemies or any human or animal for such matters. No.
Constructive criticism is constructive otherwise humans find themselves back at square one; as mammals without language to refine our thinking capacity in linguistic skill set.
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”
~~~
I meant to write about Anti-depressants.
However, I ran out of time.
On Anti-depressants my speech is slurred like my speech did slur on summer of 2010 and again on summer 2012 when I was prescribed pain-killer medication (Oxycontin) for my uterine benign tumors. I had an operation each time on November 2011 and again October 2013 in the form of laparoscopic procedure to remove uterine benign tumors like parasites from my uterus without getting a hysterectomy. I had a myomectomy. Yes, we can have children.
However, at this moment I have more uterine benign tumors growing as we speak or more precisely as I write.
This is my fourth day on Anti-depressants. I feel exactly like myself and the same as I always do except my body won’t quite cooperate with my movements and I slightly stumble over the edges of my feet. I feel as though I’m constantly under the influence of a strong alcoholic “buzz” and I can’t seem to shake this “locked jaw” sensation and my legs ache.
Practically, what I’m trying to type is: I’m once more speech impaired and physically impaired from the Anti-depressant medication. I speak as though I were talking under water. Well, here we go again.
In the summers of 2010 and 2012 my closest friends mostly thought I had gone mad because my flawless speech disappeared and suddenly I sounded “retarded.” I couldn’t get my words out right and strangers in public places scolded me or stared at me or laughed at me or strangers were outright mean to me even though I couldn’t help the effects of the Oxycontin.
However, I didn’t lose my mind.
Summers of 2010 and 2012 I was under the heavy influence of Oxycontin.
For as long as I live I wouldn’t touch Oxycontin.
Although I say that now when I only feel #5-pain in my throat. If the throat pain were to get to #10-pain then I may just cry out for Oxycontin even though Oxycontin doesn’t do anything but get the brain drunk. Who knows?
Yours Truly;
Gabriel
Post Notes:
About Modern American Midwestern Suburban
Children and Youth and Minors:
“Dumb kids” sure are dumb.
“Smart children” sure are smart especially well disciplined and well behaved children who are cared for by responsible mature adults who directly get off their couches and address the needs of their offspring rather than send out-of-control children or youth or minors outdoors to scream and yell and shriek without words like locked-up mental cases in a hospital ward full of rage without any sense of propriety for society or civilization at large.
~~~
Children and adults may, if, they were to need to scream or yell or cry or shriek without words inside their homes.
However, children and offspring may not scream or shriek or yell outdoors without words because the moment one walks out of their front door then “the entire world is one’s oyster” and danger and liabilities hide behind corners.
It’s up to irresponsible immature parents to pay monetary citations for selfishly “disturbing the peace” of all other citizens aside from other selfish parents during a blood moon eclipse only to be seen again in twenty-one years (21) while white and black neighborhood children screamed and shrieked and yelled without words pass curfew like a bunch of wild monkeys in the jungle. What’ll be next? Feces throwing?
Such out-of-control children remind me of parents who hate their children and don’t want to take the real responsibility to care for and properly raise their young no matter how much or how little monies one may or may not have in the bank.
~~~
Good parenting has nothing to do with money.
Good parenting has to do with time and attention and effort willingly given and provided to offspring for the betterment of offspring’s future so offspring may work anywhere in the world if they wish to set their minds to shifting from manufacturing to technology and globally excellent all around good manners towards and for the sake of all’s sanity since children can be taught and are factually proven to be smarter than monkey I.Q.
~~~
Mature Adults consider any offspring as “mentally ill” until offspring come into their full development as Adults at the age of thirty-five years of life when the brain is completely developed and either the offspring actually are cerebrally malfunctioned or not. Yes.
The point is one must constantly prove one’s sanity with words. Hopefully, kind words.
~~~
Until thirty-five years of age then offspring are as good as “mentally ill” to society and civilization.
Minors and offspring must prove they can be well behaved and well mannered and well groomed otherwise there’re always mental wards. We don’t want so much as to consider the medical alternatives.
Within the last three years torturous “electro-shock” devices made a comeback in the cure for some forms of Autism in children. How barbaric indeed!
Even though our brains are charged by electricity the brain isn’t necessarily made to charge like a car battery because humans have souls and spirits and humans aren’t “guinea pigs” or lab rats for testing grounds. No.
First, get one’s research together.
~~~
Yes, offspring and children and youngsters and minors and youth must constantly prove to be well-mannered and be able to conquer the chemical hormones in the ever naturally changing chemicals in their brains and throughout body growth and development.
If one isn’t well behaved and quiet or doesn’t seem to be able to communicate with words then one’s “mentally ill” by today’s modern culture and society and civilization at large.
People can get as mad as they want.
However, people must always use their words.
People can be as jealous as they want.
However, people must use words and not insults.
People can be as threatened as they want.
However, people must negotiate with their friends and enemies and neighbors to get along.
One’s backyard isn’t a stadium or a gymnasium or a concert. No.
One’s backyard is a property line in which it ends and begins with someone totally different who holds totally different values yet we’re all American and must abide by and comply by what’s right and good for all and not only what’s good and right for selfish parents who don’t get up from their couches and attend to their liable offspring who scream or shriek or yell without words for parents’ attention to please pay attention and love their offspring.
~~~
We know our Bill of Rights.
We know our Constitutional Laws.
We know some International Laws.
We stand for undisturbed peace, cohesive verbal dialogue and for humans to use their words rather than their aggressive miscommunication with sounds like distressed monkeys.
“Dumb kids,” are the offspring of “wanksters.” Posers.
“Dumb kids,” don’t understand how to “bite their tongue” and be silent throughout life because they’re jealous and envious of what their parents don’t have to give such children.
“Dumb kids,” are dumb especially while observing wildlife in their gorgeous natural backyards because as Eric explains it: Either the children are children of “meth addicts” and some of the children are considered mentality unstable due to sugar-high foods and candy rather than nutritious food or the children are outright hungry or “mentally handicap” or the children are some of the most enraged children one will ever encounter because such children don’t live in the ghettoes of America yet their parents can’t afford much for them so the children take it out on the world out of desperation children scream and yell and shriek at their neighbors with sadness and more desperation since such children already know they don’t have “a leg up” in the world as the 1% does thus such children believe they have nothing to lose thus such children badly act out for the neighbors to take notice of them without earning the good graces of their neighbors or positive attention from Mature Adults aside from their irresponsible parents who must by law pay attention to their children when their children ever so much even slightly misbehave in any public setting outside of one’s home or abode.
~~~
Adults who are neighbors to disrespectful children don’t owe such creepy children any attention much less courtesies of any type.
However, “dumb kids,” don’t ever understand much less themselves because no one cares what happens to them so no one ever teaches them not to step outside and “vocally masturbate” “to the beat of their own drum” off beat and off four-count.
“Dumb kids” don’t seem to know anything about beautiful music like the greats; Beethoven, Mozart, Vivaldi.
“Dumb kids” don’t understand Mature Adults rule.
“Dumb kids” don’t understand Mature Responsible Adults pay taxes therefore mature adults rule school districts therefore Mature Adults rule neighborhoods and not disrespectful youth or selfish and worn out stay-at-home parents.
“Dumb kids” don’t understand anything because they waste their time feeling sorry for themselves and what they don’t have.
~~~
Yes, I proved I could be quiet and responsible and respectful as a child and minor and youth and as a young adult all the way up to the age of thirty-five (35) years of life.
And if I did get mad at anyone in particular then I had words for anyone who I thought justifiably disserved such words.
Yes, as an Adult I prove I can say anything I want about anything because such is my Freedom of Speech combined with mathematics and factual modern science.
Yes, I worked to get here.
Yes, I not once was hospitalized for any mental illness and I’m declared sane for life. How lovely. Okay.
Yes, I’m a responsible mature adult who at times lives in dire uterus and throat pain from the consistent growth of benign tumors inside my body.
Yes, I’m an Atheist who says the Lord’s Prayer in English everyday for twenty-eight years. I also get down upon my knees to pray to three-hundred some Mayan Gods for which we give much thanks as well as donate 30% of our annual household income before taxes as most ethical Jews do so as well without “cutting corners” or cheating on their 30% of their annual household income towards charity.
Word Count Goal: 1,000
Word Count: 2,398
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000
This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,398
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #1 without disciplining neighborhood children. One-year vow of silence. I love it.
*) Day #8 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #162 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #583 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #15 without a cigarette: I like it.
*) Week #2 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #50 work on 245 cholesterol as of June 2015. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty-four and a half (24.5”) natural inch high waist without a corset. Yes! Let’s Go, Ladies!
Friday, September 25, 2015
“The Sabbath was given for
the study of the Torah.”
(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)
Deign (condescending, stoop, lower oneself)
They did not deign to notice her.
--- --- ---
A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated,, King, Richardson & CO,. Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.
Self-Culture.
Depend Upon Work---Not Genius.
Chapter 15.
Page 209
But usually young people are not willing to devote themselves to that process of slow, toilsome self-culture which is the price of great success. Could they soar to eminence on the lazy wings of genius the world would be filled with great men. But this can never be; for whatever aptitude for particular pursuits nature may donate to her favorites, to her particular children, she conducts none but the laborious and the studious to distinction.
--- --- ---
Hello.
Upload: 2:38 P.M. CT
--- --- ---
Correction; No, I’m not a character in any Harper Lee novel. No.
Yes, I’ve become a “recluse” like a character of Harper Lee’s novel (fiction) “To Kill A Mockingbird.”
I’ve become like the “recluse” fiction character of Harper Lee’s “To Kill A Mockingbird” as the made-up character of “Boo Radley” (not a real person) (with the exception of either any real or implied or not mental illness on my part since I don’t have any type of mental illness) who literally saves the lives of the children in their neighborhood in the novel or book.
--- --- ---
Note: A mentor will choose a mentee.
However, a student must choose their accredited and schooled teacher in the study of martial arts or volunteer apprenticeships or spiritual matters pertaining to specific subject matter such as overall general good and sound health and mind and body wellness.
Recent Notes Written On:
Friday, September 25, 2015
Not once in my entire life have I ever taken one single Anti-depressant until Thursday, September 24, 2015 at exactly 10:00 A.M. CT without any alcohol the entire workday until about two hours into cocktail hour at 6:49 P.M. CT I did slowly drink one shot of brandy on the rocks:
[After Thursday morning’s doctor appointment with my main current medical practitioner man-doctor who for the second time in four weeks (4) strongly re-prescribed “a” dosage of Anti-depressant medication as well as “couple’s counseling” or “marriage talk-therapy” which both Eric and I have decided and agreed and did shake hands as of this summer 2015 not to ever go to any more “talk-therapy” with any professionals in their field unless “talk-therapy” is absolutely court mandated by a judge.] Correct.
We’re adults.
We’ll solve our own challenges and problems because we’re ultimately smart and kind and intelligent. Yes.
~~~
Why does my jaw feel wired shut or “locked jaw?”
Yes, sometimes I clench my teeth while asleep.
However, this is a new sensation all together as of early Friday night at 12:20 P.M. CT this ‘clenched jaw sensation’ is painful to my teeth. Consciously I have to ease up on my jaw or I might hurt my teeth. Ouch.
Yes, I spent twenty years (20) in talk-therapy only to discover on December 2014 there’s nothing wrong with my brains and I’m average and I “don’t have any real problems” except neither Eric or I communicate as well as we could with each other nor do we agree to settle down to our shared domestic married lifestyle together.
We haven’t ever agreed to our domestic lifestyle as two different people who together work hard at marriage and best friendship and major disagreements about the same lifestyle subject matter over and over again without resolution or agreement to two or three major fundamental basic lifestyle choices as a family. Sigh.
~~~
No, I don’t hear or see any hallucinations nor do I ever see or hear hallucinations in my daily general life prior to Anti-depressants as of yesterday at the age of thirty-eight years (38) of life.
Why? Does anyone see or hear any hallucinations? If so then please immediately consult a respectful and non-sexual time-worthy professional. Thank you very much.
No, I don’t feel suicidal in any way, shape or form.
As I don’t ever feel suicidal in general in life or with life.
Why would I be suicidal?
I wouldn’t be suicidal.
If anyone is at all suicidal then please immediately consult a respectful and non-sexual time-worthy professional.
~~~
Yes, after I took my first Anti-depressant ever I slept five hours under the influence of light to moderate sleep.
At 4:00 A.M., I awoke and snacked on Non-GMO peanut butter and one slice of whole wheat bread with one added Crystal Farms cheese stick which stays fresh for weeks on end.
(Thank you for well sealed cheese. Simple and effective packaging matters as well as biodegradable “take away” (“pick up” food) containers since we want our grandchildren and their grandchildren not to have to live with the side effects of non-biodegradable Styrofoam.
Styrofoam doesn’t ever biodegrade or breakdown.)
Yes, I starved as any young American citizen adult and others during this continuous fifteen year’s war; To come this far; To commit suicide; Would be a real tragedy; Because I have at least fourteen (14) more years of professional work; Until We Retire; To make our own private animation films together, both Eric and I to place inside an air tight and air temperature controlled and regulated vault to sit there and collect dust for seven generations.
Right now our sleeves are rolled up and we’re hard at work.
No melodrama here.
We have professional work to conduct as well as maintain strong marriage and full life and a beautiful and humble homestead and responsibilities towards many endeavors, communities and peoples and projects.
~~~
As of last night Eric informed me that sometimes when humans have gone through extreme sleep deprivation for weeks of continuous insomnia then when one goes to read letters on the page then sometimes entire words come in and out of sharp and soft focus.
Or words seem to appear as though the words themselves slightly “visually” pulsate to a soft heartbeat.
Of course, I didn’t see or hear any sound in my mind or ear or “mind’s eye” nor did I see or hear any other movements or visuals. No.
Only the letters “visually pulsated” for a lack of any type of English words to describe yesterday’s vision debacle or vision episode while I edited from 1:55 P.M. to about 3:00 P.M.
~~~
Yesterday when I edited the words and letters I read not once did either the words or letters rearrange themselves or change around on the page for me. No.
Not ever do words or letters re-arrange themselves all by and / or unto their own accord. No.
Yes, I flawlessly read English from left to right.
Yesterday, (during my vision episode) I read English and not gibberish.
Yesterday, I didn’t suddenly develop dyslexia. No.
My words didn’t suddenly find placement elsewhere in the paragraph or stanza. No.
My words were still there and written by verbatim as I had left the entire specific written piece the last time I’d edited my words the previous evening. Yes.
~~~
Thursday afternoon from 1:55 P.M. to 3:00 P.M. the sentences and words I read were always in sharp focus with non-changed lettering or letters or words which were black in color as clearly as I see the words and letters and lettering as I read now;
Except the words and sentences did appear to come in and out of depth of field focus: as though the complete words were crossed out right across the middle of each word as though someone took a straight edge ruler to the words and cut them right across the center of each word across each and entire lines of words and sentences for entire paragraphs. Whew. (The above sentence translated into English.)
The top and bottom halves of each words which appeared to have been crossed out in black pen like when someone might make corrections and cross out any sentence in a handwritten letter, would simultaneously appear to “visually pulsate” to the forefront or backdrop of focus in depth of field sight all the way across entire sentences as I read each individual sentence one sentence at a time while with my vision I witnessed easy dissolves in “rack focus” in picture (cinematic terms) with back and forth focus between forefront and backdrop of full words in full sentences as though words had been sliced across sentences with a fine point sword. (Corrections were made all around.)
(I was a documentary video cinematographer for twelve years (1999-2011.) I would indeed know my own vision and some basic “spatial relations” in function even though I’m terrible at parallel parking and most or any spatial relations when it comes to constructing anything or architecture and dimensions. I can’t eyeball anything. I must measure and re-measure and measure again before I make a cut.)
~~~
If all for which took place yesterday is simply my vision then I must be exhausted.
My eyes feel tired. I’m in good spirits which I mostly always am naturally in good spirits which is a plus to my personality otherwise, gloom, doom and despair.
Although when one tends to hear my voice then right away one would know life’s a whole lot lighter in tone (unless one makes or receives apologies which is the most difficult type of communication to conduct) or when one hears my tone of voice and how life's funnier than on the page or written word.
There’s always room for a good sense of humor.
To translate funny moments in life unto the page is nearly impossible thus comedians have been writing comedy for as long as humans understood cognitive reason and logic rather than one single club or stick in their hands to violently “beat each other over the head.” Tragic.
Human evolution is slow on the uptake.
Sincerely,
Gabriel
P.S. No, I guess I don’t factually have a second row of teeth.
Yes, one hour prior to when I took the last series of self portraits (September 2015) I had ingested four .05 MG of valium-like pharmaceuticals without knowing what exactly the medication was or how to properly use the medication for sleep time relaxation and not as a sleeping pill which up to three valium-like pills I still restlessly slept for a full seven straight hours (7) in bed without getting out of bed except when my stomach made loud hunger-noises and required to be fed otherwise I tossed and turned in bed without any lights on or tablet to read otherwise game over.
The specific light on the tablet keeps me awake at night and I know such aspects about myself to my personality thus I keep specific and small misbehaviors at bay or away from daily and routine lifestyle as a disciplined example.
Word Count Goal: 1,000
Word Count: 1,798
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000
This Week’s Total Word Count: 9,274
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #5 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #159 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #580 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #12 without a cigarette: I like it.
*) Week #1 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #49 work on 245 cholesterol, June 2015. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty-four and a half (24.5”) natural inch high waist without a corset. Yes! Let’s Go, Ladies!
Thursday, September 24, 2015
“The Sabbath was delivered
unto you, and not you unto the Sabbath.”
(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)
Delectable (delightful, enjoyable, good tasting)
She knows how to make a delectable meal.
--- --- ---
A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated,, King, Richardson & CO,. Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.
Self-Culture.
Study.
Chapter 15.
Pages 208-209
More reading, therefore, although of importance in itself as a means of enlarging our ideas and correcting and refining our tastes, does not give a man much power, does not help him to rise above the position in which circumstances may originally placed him. It is study that does this. Franklin, the printer’s boy did not become Franklin, the philosopher and statesman, by reading only, but by study; and we do not hear of his studying under teachers and of being guided by them, for, like many of us, he did not poses these high advantages, but his education progressed under the supervision of his own mind. He had to feel his way along, and to correct his own errors ever and anon as the drawing of fresh light enabled him to see them, and you may do the same; you, with few acquirements now, and few opportunities, may, if you only will it, become as useful and eminent a man as Franklin. But you must work for it. Diligently and earnestly must you labor or you cannot stand side by side, in after years, with the men who have become distinguished for the important services they have been able to render their fellows.
Any one to become great through his own exertions has undertaken a large contract. But the perspective of this superstructure looks larger and more formidable than it is in reality.
One is likely to look at a successful life rounded out and complete, and then measure his own life by this model. He must not say---“I cannot do as these men do,” but rather---“I should try to do what they have done.”
These models, whose memories are finger-posts for a succeeding generation, did not become such by accident, nor by a single leap. No! they rose by successive, single degrees, each of which was wrought out by sweating brow and aching muscle.
The golden crop cannot be garnered till after the seed has been sown. The impression cannot be read till after the type is set in order, and the errors shown in the proof. Stones do not, of themselves, turn up as you pass by, to reveal the golden wealth hidden beneath them,
--- --- ---
Hello.
Upload: 5:23 P.M. CT
Pharmaceuticals
2015
Seven weeks ago my presently active (non-sexual) medical practitioner man-doctor changed my birth control contraceptive pill prescription to “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG” which is super expensive for this modern era and for most working women such as myself, about $39.00 or less per prescription packet per monthly prescription payments is a steep over inflated monopoly of pharmaceutical market share value when there’s barely any market to share. (If these English words didn’t translate then my deepest apologies to all.)
My last two menstruations have been light even flowage.
This new birth control contraceptive pill has been a remarkable life changing experience. Twice, I’ve menstruated like I was seventeen years of life all over again. Wonderful.
However, the only catch with slightly higher dosage of contraceptive birth control pill is the strong insomnia of only three hours of sleep per night for exactly seven (7) straight weeks as of this week.
Good and continuous and well rested seven to eight (7-8) hours of sleep per night is a must to me as any sane and professional adult as well as a modern housewife.
During the week of my sugar pills (white ones) on the birth control packet then slight acne ‘rears its ugly head’ around my neck and possibly on my chin or scalp.
If I’m lucky then maybe my back will go unscathed of any more acne to gently treat further without the need to pick or touch any of the acne causing bacteria to go ‘buck wild.’
~~~
This recent seven week prescription change in a slightly higher dosage of the contraceptive pill allows for seven straight hours of restless sleep or ‘only’ “three good hours of sleep” (REM) at most for seven weeks running thus four weeks ago (the beginning of September 2015) my main medical practitioner prescribed “Lorazepam 0.5 MG,” 1 tablet before I go to bed.
Supposedly “Lorazepam” is in the family of valium. Okay.
However, I told my doctor this morning (Thursday) I’m only able to fall asleep and completely stay asleep for seven straight hours if I take four “Lorazepam” and he told me not to do that ever again since “Lorazepam” isn’t a sleeping pill rather a relaxation pill. Okay.
Who knew? I didn’t.
Yes, I’m a major medical layman.
I don’t know anything about medicine and I was able to tutor my friends through pre-med.
~~~
Not ever in my life have I ever believed in Anti-depressants.
However, both Eric and my medical doctor urge for me to get on an Anti-depressant for “moodiness” and “irritability” since I deal with ‘fake’ pregnancy hormones and uterine benign tumors and also thyroid benign tumors. Okay.
As of ten O’clock (10:00 A.M.) this morning (Thursday) I’ve begun a six month guinea pig project (“lab-rat experimentation”) and took my first and one and only daily “Escitalopram Oxalate 10 MG” for today.
~~~
Today, Thursday, while I stood here and edited (re-read) from 1:55 P.M. until about 3:00 P.M. the black text words on my computer screen ever so slightly “visually pulsated” with the force of a quiet and slow heartbeat like movement. I jumped practically out of my skin I was so frightened.
Immediately I made a note in my medical record books because not once in my life have I ever possibly “hallucinated” while reading words and today I possibly hallucinated on a combination of “Lorazepam 0.5 MG” because I took five (5) valium-like pills last night even though I’m neither to ever again take any more than one “Lorazepam” before bed time (for as long as the prescription is filled) nor to treat “Lorazepam” as a sleeping pill ever again. Okay. I confused valium-like pills for sleeping pills. Okay. I’m ignorant.
Actually, I think I most likely and literally possibly hallucinated on both “Lorazepam” and “Escitalopram Oxalate 10- MG.” Good to know.
No, I neither have any idea as to what I’m putting inside of my body nor how my brain chemistry will be or react or possibly change or not.
~~~
All I know is I’m on a two week “test period” to watch out for strong suicidal urges to take steps to actually kill oneself. Okay.
However, whenever I get a paper cut then I’m actually a “wimpy-kid.” If I so much as stub my big toe then I don’t make a sound or say a word and curl with pain inside.
I can’t stand feeling intoxicated from pills or pill’s foggy effect on the body and mind.
As though the room ever so slightly spins and my speech is slurred and I stumble on these Anti-depressant pills.
My body is slightly drunk yet my mind is sharp and alert and aware and at work.
~~~
In my life it seems as though white western men continue to solve my problems or overcome my medical challenges by continually offering for me to go on pharmaceutical drugs and I strongly disagree with them. (It’s here on the record.)
How would you like them apples?
If ‘fake’ pregnancy hormones inundated any man’s entire body with pregnancy liquid hormones but nothing else about the men was to be pregnant except the ‘fake’ pregnancy hormones then how might men react? Saintly. Maybe. I doubt it.
Men would also be crabby, too.
And I’m not even depressed. I get up every morning with a spring in my step and I properly make the complete bed and get dressed (in Armani from head-to-toe) as well as completely ready for my work day and put in eight hours of work with one full sit down hour lunch break since I stand at my stand-up desk when I work from home on the computer for the past four years (March 2011-September 2015.)
~~~
Yes, in my twenties I had a small private office or humble three-room---north, Minneapolis photography working studio (mostly not a place to sleep, only, if one needed to sleep there after dark or didn’t catch one’s bus on time or skateboarded back home to Uptown before the sun set or dark.)
Yes, prior to my studio “in the ghetto” for about eleven years I did my work at coffee shops.
Nowadays, I wouldn’t work from a laptop anywhere in public unless I had to.
Yes, I can type loudly and fast. It’s annoying, I know.
Going along to my own work rhythm of my own loud typing by myself is better than having strangers stare at me in public while I work. I need room and energy to think and breathe when I work otherwise when I stop work to relax then good luck getting me back to work. Work hard. Relax easy.
When I work; I mean business.
If I were to work in public then I can almost work better in ‘safe’ quiet neighborhood bars in lazy summer afternoons where the clientele leaves one alone to work on a laptop or physical notebook and pen than I can work at most coffee shops and I don’t drink much alcohol in my life.
I type fast and in control and with precision and rapid movement. I look intense because I do get out what I need to say before I forget the words or change my mind out of complete and utter fear of failure in miscommunication.
My possible letter reading hallucination lasted about one hour.
When letters or words appear to ever so slightly “visually pulsate” while on the page then it makes reading really hard to read anything or much less concentrate. It was not good. I didn’t like it. It slowed down my work time and set me behind on my day.
Peace;
Watch out for yourselves little ones.
Dark forces conspire against nature.
Love,
Gabriel
Word Count Goal: 1,000
Word Count: 1,413
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000
This Week’s Total Word Count: 7,476
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #4 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #158 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #579 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #11 without a cigarette: I like it.
*) Week #1 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #49 work on 245 cholesterol, June 2015. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty-four and a half (24.5”) natural inch high waist without a corset. Yes! Let’s Go, Ladies!
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
“Remember the Sabbath day,
to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the
seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord, thy God”
(Note: The Sabbath takes place on Saturdays and not Sundays.)
(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)
Deleted (cut out, erased, removed)
The censor deleted the information valuable to the enemy.
--- --- ---
A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated,, King, Richardson & CO,. Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.
Self-Culture.
Reading.
Chapter 15.
Pages 207-208
Self-education is something very different from mere reading by way of amusement. It requires long and laborious study. The cultivation of a taste for reading is all very well, but mere reading does little toward advancing anyone in the world---little toward preparing him for a higher station than the one he fills. The knowledge which fits a man for eminence in any profession or calling is not required without patient, long continued and earnest application.
--- --- ---
Hello.
Upload: 8:22 P.M. CT
Late Nordic dinner here we come!
--- --- ---
Happy First Day Of Fall Season 2015!
--- --- ---
Welcome, Pope Francis.
What A True Rock Star.
Ever so humble.
What A Man.
Yes, I shed one single silent tear when my eyes set view upon our television set to Pope Francis and within 10 minutes of turning on the television news at lunch time I became inspired by his humanity. Oh, wow!
The People truly love Pope Francis which makes me love (agape, non-sexual) Pope Francis (respect) even more.
::: With All Due Respect Dearest Sirs; ‘Martin Luther King, Jr.’ alone factually is considered a plagiarist by the highest of scholarly institutions to be disbarred and disqualified to ever publically speak or write in any leadership position or manner about any subject matter at all.
Yes, Mr. Martin Luther King Jr., was in fact a political activist. However, not a leader to all.
A plagiarist is one to copy by verbatim without citation any Authors’ work and ‘pass off’ the words of another greater writer as one’s own by attaching one’s own signature to the writings of another greater writer; knowing perfectly well, to plagiarize is one of the highest offensive forms of communication in ethics and devalue of character as well as almost Martin Luther King Junior’s entire copied doctorate dissertation while at college led him down a dark and wrong and astray path for which such a dark path means disassociation from leadership in speech, word or deed.
~~~
Plagiarists can be considered the little perverts who undress themselves in front of the world and openly masturbate outdoors in visible day light and in literal public.
(Not the same type of masturbation as a romantic gesture between two people masturbating for one another to watch their lover or masturbation enclosed in private personal sleeping quarters all unto their own as individual and solo bedding is a sacred solo act). Let’s move forward. Yes.
Daylight public masturbators will openly masturbate at the center of public parks while comfortably public masturbators sit back on park benches for the entire park to see. Public masturbators don’t care who watches what or when. :::
--- --- ---
Happy First Day Of Yom Kippur 2015.
May We Always Forgive And Be Forgiven Ourselves.
Yom Kippur Is A True Friend And Pure Poetry.
--- --- ---
Yes, last night we DVRed “The Muppets.”
We can’t wait to make time to see this show.
--- --- ---
Yes, as of this summer I finally made it through the entire last season of “Game of Thrones” and I loved it. It was fantastic. The first show in the last series threw me off because of hair and makeup discontinuity from the previous season such as hair color and weight and age and height differentials. The cinematic quilt patchwork wasn’t complete with discontinuity.
Moving on. I became open minded to the story and I did fall in love with this storyline by… (?) (I must look up the name of the writers for the 30th time now. Name of authors hardly ever comes to the forefront of my mind.) Sigh.
--- --- ---
Bad Friendships.
Nonfiction
(One Word)
Easy Now.
~~~
:::
Introductory back story :::
May of 2003 I began work in one newsroom with a staff of people who were professional hard workers and earned slave wages at $9.25 as fulltime professional employees with health care benefits and two weeks paid vacation.
May of 2003 I was hired specifically to “punch” the nightly news over live broadcast airwaves (nightly news industry term “punch.”)
May of 2003 I took on the official role of professional “Technical Director” of the nightly news at one television station with a population of 80,000 people in a small city.
May of 2003 I took on the official role of professional “Technical Director” and for three straight months I worked as a fulltime employee with benefits inside a year-round temperature controlled room.
~~~
During the live broadcasts I wore a headset and sat down with a technical script while I pressed all sorts of lit up buttons with specific functions on an electronic switchboard with hundreds of buttons to supposedly conduct one newscast without making one single mistake (through 30 minutes of live broadcast airwaves) visible to any viewer while in real time on nightly news broadcast television.
For three straight months I showed absolutely not any sort of aptitude for “punching” the nightly news. Not once did I let up. I could not get the timing of the switchboard as I still haven’t learned to correctly coil cables either to this day.
Continuously, I made mistakes and could not overcome the specific nervous aspect about live-performance when we were on airwaves and on live broadcast. I thought I might fall over.
However, not once did I fall over.
(No, I don’t get nervous all of the time. Only when I feel like I’m ‘on’ show or live performance which I don’t do as a general rule.)
Except I kept making silly timing mistakes like: I would “punch” a button on the switchboard and while on live broadcasted air literally I switched with technical controls to different video graphics and digital swipes thus one meteorologist’s legs and arms and head appeared without their mid section or torso or stomach or neck thus he looked like he was floating in midair without most of his body and only arms and legs and head exposed on live-air.
There were more people shouting into that headset that night than I dare count.
Not once during a three month full complete period was I able to develop and hone my skill set as any such type of “technical director” because the more I made live-air mistakes then the more mistakes I made out of a severe case of bad nerves. I couldn’t get over the fact we were live broadcast and my mind would go blank for almost thirty minutes at a time and I couldn’t seem to memorize what I had studied to remember what all of those pretty pink and orange and green and some blue little buttons did or not. I miserably failed at technical directing.
~~~
My other official duties also included “building” weekly still graphics for two nightly news broadcasts each night and updating the nightly news’s website’s FTP site to change in scores and weather reports, as well as, also fulfill all of the duties of in-the-field solo weekend “photographer,” “reporter,” “non-linear editor” as well as “punch” the show: “technical direct” on most week nights and always Sunday nights.
The overload of four or possibly five work titles and positions at the 2nd TV station was, too, much for, too, little monetary reward or lack of salary while still I ate at the food shelf the entire three months of summer 2003 as I simultaneously also worked as a live-in coordinator to a women’s transitional housing for battered women in hiding from domestic violence of violent partners; or women who fled and hid for fear of murder to their children or to the women themselves. So help me.
In those days I became a 16 hour day working mule.
I was a working wage slave.
However, at the end of three months at the 2nd television station I was fired for being a terribly slow and mistake-ridden “technical director” as well I was fired for not being a fast enough newsroom “non-linear editor” although I wasn’t ever hired to be a “non-linear editor” or “photographer” or “reporter” yet I alone was directed to fulfill yet another position on the team which no one else was ordered to take on any more than one position when I was specifically directed to undertake four positions at the same time for the same wage of one position in order to keep my job I had to be a “technical director,” “photographer,” “reporter,” “non-linear editor,” and I drove the station vehicles.
~~~
July of 2003 one of my closest friends who dealt with severe mental illness in the form of schizophrenia passed away. I took it deeply hard at the time. However, with time her passage gets easier.
By August of 2003 I waited to the very day I would get fired from the 2nd television station which wasn’t until early September 2003 when I was in fact and indeed fired; (there’re tons of records out there.)
No, I wasn’t ever fired from my 1st television station for which I was an employee there for two solid years from February 2001-February 2003 in a small city of 80,000 people.
~~~
Early fall of 2003, before I did get fired from the 2nd television station I was invited by one colleague to go out one night and have drinks at a bar (for which I’d not ever been to nor have I ever returned to again ever since) with our other new colleague and her guest for whom her guest was neither anyone I’d ever been personally introduced to nor did our new colleague’s guest was someone I ever went out of my way to be introduced to or to meet our colleague’s guest who eventually became a mayor of a small city of 80,000 people in 2008.
However, I had not ever once paid any attention to our colleague’s guest’s political campaign or political past or records or ran a background check.
The FBI conducted and I passed a background check before I began to work at the Children’s Hospital (2004-2005) with battered children and their on-camera testimonies.
~~~
In June of 2001 I made a genuine friendship with the youngest brother of a mayor without a care in the world for such a mayor or what he did or who he was or what he stood for.
Of course, I didn’t care about the mayor except for his good health.
June of 2001, the youngest brother of a mayor and I platonically bonded as two friends getting acquainted over literature, sunsets, poetry and spoken word and philosophy and psychology and speech and rhetoric and political activism even though I’m not any type of political activist myself because I’m afraid of real dangerous public situations and violence.
By June 2002, my friendship with the youngest brother became sealed and we trusted each other as any two people ever can or will.
By December 2005, my friendship with the youngest brother became closer because we’d spent three years on and off playing chess together.
By December 2005, the youngest brother and I both made separate moves to a new same city of about 200,000 people.
On weekends, we made it a point to sit and visit (non-sexual in nature as always) on cold winter nights and make art videos of poetry readings and drink red wine at my flat and hang out for hours on end.
We had the good fortune to end up living five miles from each other for about seven years (2005-2012) after our separate moves to a larger city.
By August 2012, my friendship with the youngest brother ended because he offered me, one Ritalin pill, and I chose to take it and shortly after we walked to a magnificent water fountain park then I literally became uncontrollably sick as I already have written about previous.
Right after I finished projectile then the youngest brother abruptly asked me to watch over his beer cans and ran off to make an impression on some local politician while I dealt with blurred vision from a severe migraine headache I’d contended with for the entire afternoon and into dusk and my eyesight became compromised. I couldn’t see very well pass blurry vision.
I didn’t know where I was and on our way back to my non-friend’s flat we were followed by two large black men with the possible intension to harm either one of us or both but all I could do was talk like a nervous woman and be prepared to have to throw one or both of the black men into running traffic even though I could barely see two feet in front of me and I wore my prescription glasses that evening.
However, my vision became blurred like my sight struggled to see anything through slightly thick white fog.
Word Count Goal: 1,000
Word Count: 2,173
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000
This Week’s Total Word Count: 6,063
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #3 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #157 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #578 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #10 without a cigarette: I like it.
*) Week #1 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #49 work on 245 cholesterol, June 2015. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty-four and a half (24.5”) natural inch high waist without a corset. Yes! Let’s Go, Ladies!
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
“The savior of the Jews is
the Sabbath.”
(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)
Demagogue (rabble rouser, popular leader)
He turned out to be a demagogue rather than an inspiration.
(Note: No, I don’t personally pick out the daily Vocabulary Word of the day since what I tend to do is to choose the last card from the back of a vocabulary index and work my way forward.) Thank you very much. (“I’ll be here all week.”) (Of course, as a quote and not literally.) (Five-thousand words are five-thousand words.)
--- --- ---
A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated,, King, Richardson & CO,. Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.
Self-Culture.
Importance Of Early Rising.
Chapter 15.
Pages 207
In rightly improving his time every one who is seeking earnestly to unfold the energies of his mind by giving it the food which God designed that it should receive, will soon discover that, after a night’s repose, his mind is clearer and more vigorous than after a day spent in labor and perhaps anxiety, and he will naturally seek to give as much time to study in the morning as possible. Early rising will bring to him a two-fold benefit; it will strengthen both mind and body.
--- --- ---
Hello.
Upload: 5:36 P.M. CT
No, I don’t have cancer right now.
At this time in my life I don’t have any forms of cancer or melanoma (skin cancer) as I did at the age of twenty-two (22) years of life as a junior at university on December of 1998 when for an entire year I contended with a pea size dark-green tumor surgically removed with a scalpel from my left facial cheek because over the course of the year the tumor began to change color and turned at first appearance from a light green pea color into a dark-green booger color into almost a blackish-green color in tone and by the time the tumor was removed the tumor looked like it was about to turn completely black in color. So help me.
Personally, I don’t know much about cancer nor do I try.
For twenty years (20) I’ve read many medical journals and articles about cancer and I still don’t have a clue what cancer is or looks like in the body or how cancer reacts to the body except if I were to get a growth as scary as “Freddy Krueger” (my former melanoma) then I would know melanoma a mile away because I had a cancerous tumor on my face as a young woman and have a one inch (1”) facial scar to prove it.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have anyone cut open my face for anything other than for cancerous purposes as I did at the time on December of 1998.
Sigh.
~~~
Yes, this July of 2015 and August of 2015, I made the mistake to “jump the gun” and I alone misinformed only two (2) of my closest Caucasian Minnesota men friends for which I misspoke and wrote to them both by text:
I thought; I had cancer.
To only and quickly discover my medical ignorance about ‘healthy’ (non-killer) uterine benign tumors and ‘healthy’ (non-killer) thyroid benign tumors as to be: not: any forms of deadly cancer still yet deformed cells to contend with and take care of a somewhat at times fragile overall health of dealing with five years of vaginal hemorrhaging every six months and intense throat pain and uterine pain from the squeezing sensation of benign uterine and thyroid tumors which take shape and form alongside my other organs which fight for room in my body as the benign tumors take up more than enough room to feel as though my voice box is being closed off to oxygen and my intestines and colon and bladder feel like my insides are being kicked into my body deeper than I can contend with the physical pain. Yet, I do contend.
No biggie.
I’m not dying from cancer.
I’m not living with cancer.
I’m living with an autoimmune disease.
Okay.
Okay. I don’t have cancer. Okay.
Then what do I have?
Who knows?
No one knows.
Neither any doctor in Minnesota knows what I have for a precise diagnosis nor have any doctors known any concrete diagnosis for the past decade (10 years) of continual blood work on a monthly basis and even sometimes on a weekly basis.
Eric and I have been in and out of hospitals and clinics and doctors’ offices and specialists’ offices for almost six straight years (6) as we try to find any concrete diagnosis and cure for whatever ails and fails my overall general good health and beats down my immune system thus the endless tests of blood work continues.
~~~
Within 24-hours of texting two men friends about my cancer misinformation I corrected both of my statements over text and retracted (withdrew) my words from the record in thorough and complex short texts detailing the depth of my medical ignorance to both male friends. I outright admitted my mistake within 24-hours of making such a tremendous and terrible mistake.
Okay.
Furthermore, one of my immature male friends used my own health misinformation against me.
My one immature friend went out of his way to create melodrama for me two weeks after I had already made my thorough text corrections as he proved to be ever so annoying and childish and immature and utterly against my medical ignorance of cancer even though he holds a medical degree and I’m a medical layman.
My one immature friend seemed to be looking and hoping to get me into social trouble with Eric due to my misspoken blunder.
However, Eric already knows most aspects of my life before anyone else does.
Even though I had already humbled myself and corrected my medical ignorance and mistake and misspoken words within less than 24-hours to both men friends by text.
My one immature friend turned against me for either pity for himself or to socially whip me for my medical ignorance as a layman which I utterly and totally and completely stood by my mistake as I do now. Otherwise I wouldn’t be writing about it. I took the higher moral ground as I always do, no matter what.
~~~
Still yet, two weeks later after my humble medical correction my one immature male friend called up Eric and directly spoke to Eric as though I hadn’t ever corrected or clarified myself by text two-weeks prior even though I already had humbled myself to my friend and he okayed it with me by text with a prompt response back. Okay.
We caught my immature friend in his own lie.
My immature friend called up Eric to clarify the text misinformation between myself and my male friend and to hopefully set up a family letter writing intervention about me but Eric put a quick stop to such nonsense therefore my one immature male friend went behind Eric’s back and above Eric’s head and called up Eric’s mom to set up a family letter writing intervention about me with the rest of our family.
My Mother-In-Law didn’t even so much as care to call back my one immature men friend since he is most times considered a timewaster by most.
(How embarrassing for Eric and his mom who had nothing to do with my corrected medical ignorance and misspoken words.)
For three (3) whole months this summer 2015 mom (Eric’s mom and my best friend) lived at the hospital and dealt with real physical knee therapy or bust during rehabilitation. Yes. She clearly had no time to spare to melodrama of any type.
Too much melodrama for an 89 year old woman who spent three months in Moose Lake’s Mercy Hospital from one botched knee surgery to a fixed knee surgery to a broken ankle to finally all is now healed as of this week. Breathe.
We’re still hoping my best friend (even though I might not be her best friend) will follow through with her travel plans to Finland and to their still family owned 400 year old operational farm to this day.
Eric’s mom didn’t ever call back my one foolish and immature male friend.
My one immature male friend left two machine recordings and my Mother-In-Law told Eric to talk to my one immature friend and Eric and I agreed I’d handle my own business instead of placing Eric in the middle of an old fool’s errand to make Eric a tool to a fool.
My one immature friend milked my medical mistake for all it was worth to get me into serious social trouble.
Yeah, right. Like Eric’s going to sit and listen to a convoluted man misspeak about his woman-friend’s medical ignorance as though my one immature man friend gained something by devaluing his female friend’s true mistake.
I was more disgusted and disappointed by the blunt lie of my friend than my own serious medical ignorance and mistake and blunder and self misdiagnosis.
~~~
My one immature friend had already texted me back two weeks prior and assured me he was glad I had misspoken about an incorrect cancer self-diagnosis and understood I didn’t have any cancer. Okay. So what gives?
My one immature friend had already texted me back to confirm he understood my medical correction still yet he went looking for social trouble to either make himself the victim to get people to feel sorry for him if I really were to be diagnosed with possible cancer ever or to get me into serious social trouble with my romantic partner and his mother, my best friend. What fool?
Yes, I had already made the medical correction two weeks earlier so I caught my one immature friend in a lie.
We caught my one immature friend in his own foolish act of not only throwing me under the bus with Eric while Eric already knew I had sent out two and only two texts to two particular friends with misinformation about cancer and corrections as well.
~~~
Yes, my other mature adult friend immediately texted back within 24-hours and was understanding and kind and loving about how life with an “autoimmune disease” “isn’t good either.” Okay. Thanks.
My one mature friend was a sweetheart to me and he understood how embarrassed and ashamed I was to make such a medical blunder and misspoken and miswritten words over text.
I can do: understanding and compassion rather than manipulation and cunning motive of misbalance.
Mind Your Own Business.
I don’t like it when one has already communicated with someone still yet that one immature person will go out of their way to twist and change and lie and put spin about the miscommunication which already took place and mistakes were cleared up by all parties intended.
Yes, I’m many things but a liar I’m not.
Yes, I’m many things but a thief I’m not.
Yes, I’m many things but an arsonist I’m not.
Yes, as a human I constantly make corrections because I truly don’t know what’s medically right or medically scientific since the science of almost anything rapidly changes and there seems to be no concrete science on most medical matter or subject matter except for cigarettes.
Why did my one immature friend ‘throw me under the bus?’
Why did he act like a two-faced fool?
Word Count Goal: 1,000
Word Count: 1,806
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000
This Week’s Total Word Count: 3,890
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #2 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #156 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #577 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #9 without a cigarette: I like it.
*) Week #1 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #49 work on 245 cholesterol, June 2015. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty-four and a half (24.5”) natural inch high waist without a corset. Yes! Let’s Go, Ladies!
Monday, September 21, 2015
“On the Sabbath, the wicked
in Hell, too, rest.”
(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)
Demarcation (a limit, a mark to separate)
There was a sharp line of demarcation between North and South.
--- --- ---
A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated,, King, Richardson & CO,. Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.
Self-Culture.
Economize Time.
Chapter 15.
Pages 206-207
It is astonishing how much may be accomplished in self-training by the energetic and persevering, who are careful to use fragments of spare time which the idle permit to run to waste.
Excellence is seldom if ever granted to man save as the reward of severe labor.
Thus Stone learned Mathematics while working as a journeyman gardener; thus Druce studied the highest Philosophy in the interval of cobbling shoes; thus Miller taught himself Geology while working as a day laborer in a quarry.
Whatever one undertakes to learn, he should not permit himself to leave it till he can reach around and clasp hands on the other side.
One must believe in himself if he would have others believe in him. To think meanly of one’s self is to sink in his own estimation.
Cultivate self-help, for in proportion to your self-respect will you be armed against the temptation of low self-indulgence.
Again---“reverence yourself,” as Pythagoras has said. Borne up by this high idea, a man will not defile his body by sensuality nor his mind by servile thoughts. This thought, carried into daily life, will be found at the root of all virtues: cleanliness, sobriety, charity, morality and religion.
Set a high price on your leisure moments. They are sands of precious gold. Properly expended, they will procure for you a stock of great thoughts---thoughts that will fill, stir, and invigorate and expand your soul. Richter said: “I have made as much out of myself as could be made of the stuff, and no man should require more.” Self-discipline and self-control are the beginnings of practical wisdom; and these must have root in self-respect. The humblest may say---“To respect myself, to develop myself, this is my duty in life.
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Hello.
Upload: 6:44 P.M. CT
--- --- ---
Happy 50th Birthday to Eric’s hardworking and beautiful friend from Moose Lake, MN who now resides in New Richmond, WI.
Eric’s friend is kind to Eric as well as enduring in long lasting friendship ever since high school as they now (today) watch their other high school friend deal with a deadly form of breast cancer for which takes her life ever so quickly here now. Every single day is precious to four close friends (4 in a group) and family members.
Happy September 2015.
Happy Cancer Awareness Month 2015.
One of these fall days I hope to get out and about in the town around twilight and take pictures and look at the pretty pink lights for which we are aware in the Twin Cities to celebrate cancer survivors in the month of September. No logos, please. Pink Color Only, thank you.
--- --- ---
Yes, I factually had melanoma (skin cancer) when I was a junior at university, December of 1998 at the age of twenty-two (22) years of life.
Yes, I, too, am a cancer survivor. I have a one inch (1”) scar on my left facial cheek to prove the surgical barbaric cancer procedures of the late 1990’s.
Yes, within one week of a biopsy and by the end of the following week of the same December of 1998 an “ear, nose and throat specialist” had me on the outpatient operating table as I watched the fold of my left facial cheek flap open and stretched back to my ear. I almost passed out. I almost fainted.
Yet, I held it together and watched with fascination as the specialist removed a pea size tumor, dark-green in color, which I wore on my face for an entire year as the tumor progressively became darker and darker in color.
When the tumor turned dark-green and hard as a frozen pea then I knew I was in trouble and finally sought medical and expertly help on December of 1998. So help me.
We Commence.
Welcome Adults.
~~~
Preface.
(From Monday, June 15, 2015)
To Live With Cancer
Is Not The Same
As To Die From Cancer.
No.
(Without Any Edits.)
The only foods keeping me alive right now are “McDonald’s” sausage burritos and “Dairy Queen’s” grill burgers and fries and “Subway’s” flat bread egg and cheese and bacon sandwiches and “Jimmy John’s” turkey and avocado beach sandwiches.
As I watch my hip bones protrude from my body as my stomach gets stretched out like a malaria infested child while I go through this silent and autoimmune painful disease which robs my health and I tend to vaginally hemorrhage every six (6) months on and off for about five (5) years and refuse any type of blood transfusion.
My skin is always dry.
My skin cracks and bleeds even in the summer time.
My hair is extremely dry and brittle and easily breaks off.
Mostly I’m constantly cold even under 90 degree weather I wear a fleece coat or hooded sweatshirt even though the bottoms of my feet and the palms of my hands and armpits profusely sweat which causes me to shiver on a constant basis for five (5) straight years.
It wasn’t always like this thus I know the difference.
No, I don’t shave my armpit hair since I tend to get excruciatingly painful armpit spasms in my one right armpit and I’m terrified to slash open my armpit gland.
Yes, five years ago (2010) I gave up on shaving my leg hair off since bending over for any extended amount of time feels like a strong kick to my lower vertebrae whenever these “uterine fibroids” show up every two years (November 2011, October 2013, May 2015) or whenever I vaginal hemorrhage every six months for about five (5) years.
Yes, I wear arm sleeved t-shirts and shirts and long pants all of the time so that no one may look upon my armpit and leg body hair except for Eric who doesn’t care if I ever shave or not for as long as I live because Eric understands shaving to be a time consuming and tediously tremendous big chore and I don’t have that type of energy. I’m exhausted to the bone marrow and Eric knows it.
Yes, I’m super ultra feminine. I am.
Yes, I’m as ‘girly’ as it gets, however.
First, I must take care of my body and overall health rather than take time for extremely detailed and picky looks.
~~~
Mostly modern Minnesota doctors and / or medical specialists and / or surgeons refrain from utilizing the word “cancer” whenever any such medical experts speak about “bunches of grapes” surrounding and / or inside my thyroid gland for which squeezes my voice box and or such medical experts utilize the medical terminological words “uterine fibroids” whenever medical experts speak of “benign tumors” of the uterine wall or thereabouts. Okay. Whatever.
Transcend medical linguistic and language barriers.
Yes, I grow potentially cancerous benign tumors in / or surrounding my thyroid gland as we speak.
Yes, I also grow potentially cancerous benign tumors in my uterine wall as we speak.
Yes, I live with potentially cancerous benign tumors on any daily basis.
Yes, my “benign tumors,” or “nodules,” or “growths,” or “lumps” are indeed “benign cancerous cells” dormant in the body which won’t kill me immediately, however.
Slowly over the decades I’ll watch myself struggle and fight an already lost battle with “dormant potentially deadly cancerous cells” until there won’t be much left of my carcass to mummify for Xibalba.
~~~
Please. (No, not please?) No.
Please. (As an overstated statement.) Yes.
Please, don’t be ever so presumptuous to even so much think I don’t know what type of aspect or shape or form the possible “active future cancerous cells” will do to me.
Whenever and if possibly “active future cancerous cells” do awaken (knock on wood for good luck) simply because I was adopted past the age of two (2) then I don’t know.
Now I fight an “autoimmune disease” as an adult even though after one complete decade of suspense, no Minnesota medical practitioner doctor or medical expert or surgeon specialist will actually utilize their medical terminological words to tell me what I’m dealing with as I stand here and fight severe abdominal pain (scale of 5 today) for three days straight.
No, neither the “benign tumors” nor the “American Spirit 100% (forget organic, tremendous stomach aches) tobacco cigarette smoke” will kill me fast enough.
(No, I neither have any type of death wish nor do I believe in suicide.)
While we watch and bury our closest friends (under the age of fifty, 50) as our friends “crossover” mostly from malignant breast cancers for which our friends are mainly only given one year to live and thus. (Sigh.)
~~~
The American stress will kill me faster than any “benign tumors” or “American Spirit 100% (forget organic, tremendous stomach aches) tobacco cigarette smoke.” Yep.
Okay, let me get real.
Hence, once the “uterine fibroids” “begin tumors” begin to take effect and grow on the uterine wall then “game over” because during the week of my menstruation cycle then my entire skeletal (bone) structure hurts like my entire bone structure is either being “squeezed” or immense pressure applied to my entire skeletal structure only during the week of my menstruation and sometimes possibly the week before my menstruation cycle is scheduled to begin.
Yes, I’m on the birth control pill (generic name: “Norethindrone Ethinyl Estradiol” or “Balziva” 0.4-35 Mg-Mcg) and sometimes I don’t bleed at all the week of my menstruation and will profusely bleed at other times.
Yes, I contend with immense and debilitating skeletal pain for which forces me to lie down for at least fifteen (15) minutes at a time while I shutter and shake from severe pain and keep myself from screaming out “Dum Geit!”
Then the pain passes as if nothing at all.
No, I’m not any type of heroin addict or heroin junky since I loathe needles and don’t like anything in or near my nasal passage other than oxygen and / or “100% American Spirit (forget organic, tremendous stomach aches) cigarette” smoke. (Correction on verbiage. I don’t like cigarettes up my nose. Thank you very much.)
~~~
Yes, even though my one Minnesota surgical specialist tells me I’m “psychosomatic” about feeling something like a strong rush of liquid from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet which feels like it crushes my skeletal structure whenever or before the week of my menstruation cycle then I really don’t believe I’m making up such intense bone and / or poisonous chemical pain reaction since I’m not very smart about medicine.
All I know is what I think I sense and feel my body’s “wringing” bones as if my bones just might pulverize all of their own accord.
The weirdest pain in the entire world.
My imagination is limited when it comes to imposing self-pain since I’m a “scar‘t’y-cat” and terrified of any pain whatsoever.
~~~
Whenever this skeletal structure bone “squeezing” occurrence takes foothold throughout my body then it takes fifteen (15) minutes of agonizing pain to go through such a poisonous chemical cycle only to go through such devastating pain again and again and again for twenty-four (24) straight hours (even in my sleep) for one or two straight weeks per month.
Either a strong chemical hormonal poisonous pain reaction or some type of bone pain for which hurts my skeletal structure feels like the same pain as when we were children and minors and we had excruciating bone and muscle ‘growing pains.’
I’ve been going through this type of bone “crushing” physical pain ever since our first and only miscarriage April 2010, however.
Since Minnesota doctors and medical specialists don’t know what this pain is then they recommend for me to go see another psychologist, however.
The last psychologist (December 2014) I ever have to mandatorily see did test me out of any depressive disorders as well as any type of pathological lying or mental disorders. Okay. Thanks.
So if the pain
isn’t in my head then what on Earth is this somewhat debilitating disease?
~~~
Whenever I feel such excruciating bone pain or vaginal hemorrhage for at least three weeks at a time then I lose my appetite and all completely stop eating any type of food.
“Hemorrhage” is when one looses large quantities of blood to the point of death. No joke.
It seems as though the real nutritious foods are ever so difficult to pass through my intestines thus I’ve stopped eating mostly my favorite vegan and organic foods.
The only food I feel absolutely no pain is “McDonald’s” sausage and egg and cheese burritos which are wonderfully tasty to someone who’s lost her literal appetite.
~~~
Yes, as for the passage of bowel movements through the intestines it is one of the most bent over double painful experiences thus on average I eat at least 8 to 16 probiotics daily and ¼ cup of yogurt for regular bowel movement.
Yes, I force myself to stay regular even though this medically undetected “autoimmune disease” along with these “benign tumors” and / or “uterine fibroid” poisonous chemicals and / or “thyroid benign tumor” poisonous chemicals and terrible combination of other mixture of poisonous chemicals fight against the will of my “First Brain” or intestines.
We think first with our stomach and then with our cerebral hemispheres (“Second Brain.”.).
Yes, one would think bowel movements are funny and something of a joke.
Well, bowel movements are funny since if without the vital health of bowel movements then one doesn’t have much of good health.
Yes, I force myself to have good health.
Yes.
Otherwise, what else is there other than good health?
Yes, we thank “McDonald’s” for saving my appetite and my intestines at this crucial and difficult time of my life as for the first two weeks of May 2015 and the last week of May 2015 I watched myself vaginally hemorrhage almost to death while the surgeon tells me to take pills for which will most likely cause blood clots: (generic name: “Tranexamic Acid.”)
No medical expert is willing to be straight with me as I watch my muscles deteriorate and have begun to lose weight faster than I can keep up with it even though it’s not yet noticeable in my face.
Yes, dearest lovely Americans I’m ever so happy to be here with you tonight.
Americans shan’t be alone. I’m right here with you.
With All My Love;
Gabriela
P.S. I’m so hungry yet ever so terrified to eat anything and live in scale pain of eight (8).
Word Count Goal: 1,000
Word Count: 2,080 (Not Counting The Preface.)
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000
This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,080
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #155 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #576 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #8 without a cigarette: I like it.
*) Week #1 without stress: I love it.
::: (Yesterday once again Eric and I fought about the possible sale of our home except I swore at Eric and I mean to stop swearing all completely whenever angry or in the middle of miscommunication or intense heated arguments (with Eric only since Eric is my only romantic partner) about how to share a “lifestyle” together “in general” like either make a real commitment to fast cage-free and Non-GMO food vs. vegan or other types of food (even if the food is “take away,” (pick up) (food purchased at an establishment rather than food made at home)…, or how much time to spend in front of the television at night vs. not any television while we eat dinner or no vacation (holiday) time for five (5) straight years or time for ourselves as a couple (and our one dog) since mostly all we do is professional engineering work or house chores or house projects or watch television or films without commercials (DVR) unless we take long three hour (3) naps or siestas on weekends or we ‘steal ourselves away’ to righteously awesome city ordinance bonfires in the backyard which lately bonfires have been more and more seldom since we hardly made much time for bonfires this summer 2015 since we’re exhausted and tired so we’re lucky to make it to the couch in front of the television most weekends. (Sigh.)
About once per month (every 30 days) now days we mainly get into heated verbal two-way arguments. (Progress in our miscommunication. Our relationship is fine. Thank you very much.)
(Nowadays Eric and I both argue instead of only I yelling at Eric like a “Shrieking Harpy” all by and unto myself about the possible sale of our home (spring 2016) or a strong physical move to almost any other quiet and respectful adult professional fulltime working from home neighborhood or work from any professional office or studio or profession or a respectful and quiet retired neighborhood for which people aren’t “timewasters” of those who do work from home on the computer or we could move to a neighborhood with both respectful adults who keep to themselves and studious children or no children at all; then without having to contend to live with starving and publically screaming black children and youth who both throw garbage wherever they go especially into their neighbors’ front and backyards (going on two decades) and ten or more blocks of black children who litter like “litter bugs;” and: we refuse to live amongst “out of control” and mean spirited and angry starving black children and youth and some with mental problems; which the purchase of our previous flat is also the same argument as to what we fought about when we lived in our former flat (our Uptown rented apartment (December 15, 2006-August 30, 2012, on the lease) for which I weekly yelled about moving to another flat or physical location or to make the purchase of our former flat for which obviously we didn’t purchase our previously rented flat for five-hundred thousand dollars ($500,000) since the flat was practically falling apart and the walls and windows were thin and cracked all five years we lived there. We don’t fight about money anymore since we live on our wages as “upper-lower income earners” after taxes still six figures remain.) Eric says, “We’re too ‘poor’ to move and too ‘rich’ to stay.” :::
(Correction on Eric’s quote verbiage. ESL.)
We don’t want to pay anymore than six-hundred dollars ($600.00) per monthly mortgage payments since our twenty year (20) household sociological project is to keep our household budget at no more than forty-thousand dollars ($40,000) per annual household budget of two-point-five persons (2.5 family members) (2 persons (2) and one (1) tiny twelve pound dog (12 lb, pound,) for which our dog’s monthly food cost twelve dollars ($12.00) to feed our dog “Made In the U.S.A.” dog food per monthly household dog food expenses.)
Okay. Point made and point received about our specific sociological household budget finances which our mortgage falls under such specific forty-thousand dollars ($40,000) for one household budget category aspect of our twenty year (20) sociological economic household budget project which we’re already eight years (8) into this sociological middle income earning lifestyle project, 2007-2015…2027. Think Epcot. However, more real and lots of work and not much relaxation time or down time or any vacations. Work, Work, Work.
Now let’s find some real solutions and answers to our reoccurring continuous same problems for almost nine (9) straight years to our miscommunication ever since we moved in together, December of 2006, (Correction on date once more.)
Factually, both Eric and I lived together in Uptown, Minneapolis for six straight years.
“We’re Still Married!”
(Please, excuse me if this is a major and serious grammatical blunder upon the quote above of one of Mr. Garrison Keillor’s book titles.)
(No, I’m not any type of very good self editor, I’m afraid.) I’ll have to look up the book title once more. (Yes, I’ve read this particular book for which I’ve quoted above.) Haven’t most astute readers read at least one of Mr. Garrison Keillor’s books by the time they’re forty? (I’m making my way through eight thousand (8) novels read in twenty-eight years (28) and ‘about’ twenty-thousand (20,000) articles read in the last three and a half years (3.5) alone.)
We’re still married and happily we fight (argue with words) our way through our specific subject matter even though it’s highly stressful to continuously fight about the same subject matter in particular without a truce.
To fight is not any real type of lifestyle. To fight is not any real “job security.” To fight is not any real type of substantial garden. To fight is stressful.
We’re much better now for which we talk instead of scream at the top of my lungs from ‘fake’ pregnancy hormones and painful uterine benign tumors (2009-2015, six years) and complete silence from Eric. (Now we also live with “benign thyroid (throat) tumors” without any signs of an overly active or underactive thyroid in the blood work for ten straight years (10.)
Now Eric actually talks through arguments instead of steadfast silence. I worry more so about Eric’s emotional sake than mine ever since we began to live with continuous ‘fake’ pregnancy hormones, 2009 at the age of thirty-two (32) years of life and Eric was forty-five (45) years of life.
We moved in together on November 15, 2007 and we didn’t live with any type of benign tumors for two (2) whole straight years and it was wonderful. Those two years of our relationship (2) were bliss for us as a couple.
According to my gynecologist factually proven women don’t get uterine benign tumors before their ‘late’ twenties (20’s). Okay.
No, I don’t think like a pregnant woman.
No, I don’t eat like a pregnant woman.
No, I don’t gain weight like a pregnant woman.
No, I don’t act like a pregnant woman.
Yes, I have ‘some’ insecurities like any other human and my voice quivers whenever I get nervous, however. Seldom nervous voice quivering are human actions and not only pertain to pregnant women. Right? Right.
My mind isn’t pregnant.
However, for five or six straight years (2009, 2010-2015) (5 or 6 years) my hormones get inundated by ‘fake’ pregnancy hormones and I must fight “Mind Over Matter” because I’m not ever really pregnant except for the one time in my life spring of 2010 when we went through a miscarriage. (Please, don’t dwell on it, too, much. It’s back story.)
Yes, I simply have a flush of ‘fake’ pregnancy hormones 24/7.
Yes, my ‘fake’ pregnancy hormones tend to cause me to “Hulk out” at either out-of-control screaming-hungry-thirsty for water and sugar-high neighborhood children or Eric whenever Eric withholds his friendship from me whenever I don’t personally agree to live where Eric wants to live. I wanted to live anywhere in Uptown and Eric didn’t. Not at all.
Eric wants to live in this neighborhood while I don’t yet I still want to stay in the same city for the same price as some six-hundred some dollars ($600.00) per monthly mortgage payments as of today with 1,104 square feet (sq. ft.). What a real conundrum.
As of May 2015, I took a vow of silence whenever neighborhood starved children publically scream and shriek at the world in self-hate and self-loathe and anger and rage at their lot in life or during any television or film. No talking during the film or performance.
As of March 2011, I’ve become like the fiction character OF Harper Lee’s “To Kill A Mockingbird” as the made-up character of “Boo Radley” (not a real person) (with the exception of either any real or implied or not mental illness on my part since I don’t have any type of mental illness) who literally saves the lives of the children in their neighborhood in the novel or book.
However, as of May 2015, I’ve truly begun to live out a fulltime “Boo Radley” recluse lifestyle and experience at choice. (No one ever gets forced to do anything against their will unless a slave or any sexual or violence victim.) I can leave our home at any time I wish and sometimes I do leave our home to take an easy and safe and quiet skateboard ride without headset or electronic ear plugs and always a fashionable helmet for which may save my life and brains.
*) Week #49 work on 245 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
::: (We eat fast food 'almost' (key word) "every" (a word which ‘literally’ means "nothing") single day ever since the start of June 2015.
Note: Adults after the age of thirty-five (35) years of life may eat whatever they wish to eat since adults are fully cerebrally done with their basic and main brain growth development at the age of thirty-five (35) years of life.) :::
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty-four and a half (24.5”) natural inch high waist without a corset. Yes!
Friday, September 18, 2015
“The
difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #18 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #152 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #573 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #84 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #11 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #48 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
“Try
not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #17 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #151 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #572 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #83 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #11 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #48 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
“Look
deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #16 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #150 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #571 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #82 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #11 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #48 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
“You
have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than
anyone else.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #15 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #149 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #570 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #81 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #11 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #48 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Monday, September 14, 2015
“When
you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a
red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #14 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #148 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #569 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #80 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #11 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #48 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Friday, September 11, 2015
“You can't blame gravity for falling in love.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #11 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #145 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #566 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #77 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #10 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #47 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #10 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #144 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #565 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #76 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #10 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #47 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #9 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #143 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #564 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #75 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #10 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #47 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
“Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #8 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #142 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #563 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #74 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #10 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #47 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Monday, September 7, 2015
“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #7 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #141 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #562 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #73 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #10 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #47 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Friday, September 4, 2015
“To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #4 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #138 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #559 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #70 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #9 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #46 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Thursday, September 3, 2015
“In matters of truth and justice, there is no difference between large and small problems, for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #3 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #137 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #558 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #69 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #9 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #46 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
“Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #2 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #136 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #557 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #68 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #9 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #46 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
“The world is a dangerous
place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the
people who don't do anything about it.”
--- Albert Einstein
Word Count Goal: 2,000 / screenplays summer 2015
Word Count:
This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000
This Week’s Total Word Count:
One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:
*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.
*) Day #135 without organic sugar cane ice cream. It’s alright.
*) Day #556 without white or brown sugar: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Day #67 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.
*) Week #9 without stress: I love it.
*) Week #46 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.
*) Month #14 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty three (23”) inch high waist.