Wednesday, October 17th, 2018
Upload: 11:42pm
No mature man Ņin his right mindÓ
Ever follows any womyn to their car.
No, Minnesota. No.
Stay back Minnesota filth.
To follow any womyn to her car is considered
ŅSexual Harassment.Ó Yep.
To corner any womynÕs downright dirty fighting.
Ok, Minneapolis, the attorneys are on my side.
Ok, allow me to go slang Ebonics on yoÕ asses
Yep.
Yup.
The Big hotshot Boston and Minneapolis attorneys
Have equally granted me the Ņgreen lightÓ
To train while I Ņform runÓ
carrying two literal
wrench tools for self protection
From random violent Caucasian Minnesota men
Upon the streets of Minneapolis, MN
(Specifically and literally the Caucasian drivers.)
Yes, growing up I played beach volleyball.
Literally I grew up on the sand and beach.
Of course, I know how to play volleyball.
Please.
Back away now while thereÕs still a chance
For your MinnesotaÕs survival
DonÕt ever fucking touch me.
DonÕt ever lay a hand upon my person.
Next Stop, Karate.
For the past 20 years,
N.Y.C. pedestrian assholes and
Portland, Oregon hardcore political activists,
the West Hollywood, Los Angeles Skateboarders,
the South Boston urban pedestrians
and the West Bank Minneapolis bikers
Have all told me
to carry a heavy duty water bottle
then at anytime any asshole manic MN driver
as much as nearly runs over any
pedestrians, bikers, runners, scooters, skateboarders
then to take the water bottle container
and slam it as hard as possible
upon the hood of any car.
Really? Ok. Cool.
WhatÕs a judge going to say:
ŌWait, let me get this right?Õ
Moron, you almost ran over three pedestrians
and youÕre worried about property damage
to your outdated hick truck. What a loser.
Now, because for years I played volleyball
The tips of my fingers are steel with a vice grip
Now, if I wanted to literally crush any volleyball with
my bare hands then I recollect I probably would.
Now, if I wanted to leave a huge fucking fist size crater
On the hood of any car then I recollect I probably would.
However, I know how to get
the most sound out of the palms of my hands
with loud taps.
Furthermore,
If I wanted to punch threw cheap
Automotive plastic then I recollect I probably would.
I havenÕt yet. Ha lol
~~~
ŅMinnesota AssholesÓ
Is the new slogan for
ŅMinnesota NiceÓ
Twin Cities, MN
Please, become acquainted with
A film by the tile of:
ŅSkateboard KitchenÓ
This is the Oscar 2019 Winner
Otherwise, the Academy requires new talent
Ok, Minneapolis, if you brought it, then bring it, bitch
Ok, allow for me to go Ivy League modern chic bitch
All I know is the East Coast to be true and real
All I know is Minnesota to be full of violent posers
As for the ŅCity of MinneapolisÓ specifically the dark navy blue trucks are filled with incredible and amazing city employees. I see you out there Ņbusting your humpsÓ each day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. IÕm grateful. I appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
As for the Caucasian maintenance city contractor asshole in his white truck driving around like a dickless wonder this morning while arrogantly distracted on his cell phone: Well, this asshole almost and nearly ran over two Somali brothers crossing on the sidewalk directly in front of the driveway adjacent to The Hard TimeÕs Cafˇ.
For nearly killing the two pedestrian Somali men I hate this fucker asshole moron.
This motherfucker was on the phone when he ever so arrogantly took over the whole fucking sidewalk and in his lost dream world of a wet dream for cell phone ejaculation, he nonchalantly looked over at us pedestrians like we were a fucking trite inconvenience to him. What an ass wipe.
An arrogant ass wipe with no real skill or talent except to assert his power and dominance over people of color because he probably canÕt even cut his lawn in a straight line.
Now this because I wouldnÕt agree with this assholeÕs point of view then he called me a ŅretardÓ to my face. OMG. What a fucking creep.
Not only did the asshole follow me to my car to yell at me after he nearly got us killed then he purposely called me a ŌretardÕ to my face. I donÕt think anyone has ever called me a ŅretardÓ to my face. I ought to have jumped through the open fucking window and grabbed him by the fucking throat and beat his sorry ass into a bloody pulp, Boston gutter punk style.
Then the asshole told me to take my medication because I still wouldnÕt agree with the motherfucking cunt ho of a Caucasian dickless wonder.
OMG. I ought to have fucking crushed his AdamÕs apple or at least ripped out an eyeball. You know I want fucking restitution for the justice of women of color.
Now, look fucking Minnesota violent posers, I already put in my one year of volunteer psychiatric evaluations and passed them all with Ņflying colorsÓ plus I was immediately taken off any anti-psychotic drugs on May 14th, 2018.
Minnesota, youÕre looking at a natural Wo-Myn. Yep.
After the asshole drove away, I wept hard and loudly for the entire West Bank to hear my cries from sheer terror and fear of random violence against womyn of color.
Now, IÕm not any type of physical fighter, however. IÕve got a ŅsailorÕs mouthÓ on me because I grew up sanding wooden boats in marinas and I know how to utilize linguistics quite well. Yep.
Minnesota, you make me tired of your stupid bullshit.
Minnesota, I need a one way plane ticket out of here, however. Unfortunately, IÕve got legitimate art broker business to conduct until August 2020.
Minnesota, IÕll always be on your side, however.
Minnesota, youÕre just a bunch of fucking cattle rather than human. Move. Now.
Otherwise, a human is only sheep or a herd of goats or cattle. Whatever.
Minnesota, why arenÕt you chic modern in attitude and tone?
Minnesota, IÕve got you beat stupid cunt ho motherfuckers.
Minnesota, IÕm Duluth, MN and Cambridge, MAÕs skateboarding daughter.
Minnesota, I represent Harvard, yoÕ.
My peeps are the Ivy League and Wall Street.
We know how to throw down like the athlete artists we are. Yep.
Minnesota, you ŌainÕtÕ got shit on me. Nope. I live with thyroid tumors since October 2013.
Minnesota, IÕm living with thyroid tumors. I donÕt give a shit what you think of my form running in my skinny jeans.
Minnesota, I refuse to wear spandex or sportÕs tights because I refuse to live with yeast infection.
Minnesota, donÕt you recognize a champion when she stands before you.
Minnesota, do you need your ass whooped?
Minnesota Caucasian violent male posers, you will respect wo-myn athlete working artists in residency. You will, motherfuckers. Yep.
Minnesota, youÕre so fucking violent lame asses.
Minnesota, weÕve got you beat.
Global domination, yoÕ.
Peace.
Always peace.
Sending all of my love;
Gabriel
Sunday, October 7th, 2018
Upload: 1:07am Cheers.
7th Street EntryÕs First AvenueÕs ŅDanceteria.Ó
Saloon.
Okay, IÕm a Costa Rican lady and weÕre taught to soberly leave the house at 12:00am to go dancing, however. IÕm running behind schedule as always. WhatÕs new? For the most part mostly people, who know me well, know me to figuratively be a little turtle.
No drugs or alcohol, thank you. IÕm in training for the next two years. Plus, I donÕt do drugs or alcohol, anyway. IÕm too cool for that shit.
Okay, tomorrow morning IÕm scheduled to cheer Twin CitiesÕ Marathoners.
Church in the Bryn Mawr neighborhood at 10:00am sharp.
Lunch.
Harvard, MA flies in at 3:00pm. No showing off. Matter of fact.
Dinner Gong.
Open Mic night starts at 10:00pm on the West Bank. Where's the comedian Mike Lester? Is he in LA? Minneapolis requires his presence. Minneapolis needs this man on the ground. Thnx, LA.
Gabriel
Friday, October 5th, 2018
Upload: 9:41pm CT
Boycott GrandmaÕs Marathon 2019
Thank you.
Prologue Note: The Sheraton in downtown Duluth, MN owes me some serious restitution exactly like the Geneva Convention.
The Sheraton downtown Duluth, MN will house Bob Monahan and his offspring a thespian minor in a play, to one of the swankest Sheraton suites for the duration of the next two years while I train then return to run and win GrandmaÕs 2020.
My friends all know IÕll win with the body of an Indigenous womyn because IÕm too pissed off not to win GrandmaÕs 2020.
IÕll win because IÕm there to make a sociological point about culture and racism.
Duluth, MN must bring down their LA food and drink prices because as of this Tuesday Duluth was a complete little shanty town with over priced food and drink which werenÕt even vegan organic.
DonÕt 10-5 me. IÕm working on overdrive.
No, I donÕt work on empty.
No, I donÕt grind all cylinders. IÕm organic and regenerate.
Duluth, you spooked your thorough bread horse (me.)
~~~
The Boycott of GrandmaÕs Marathon 2019
Please, I personally as one of DuluthÕs daughters
Invite all of the
Foreign athletes of color
To
Boycott GrandmaÕs 2019
Subtly and slowly withdraw applications
Otherwise our athletes of color may be at peril.
Trust to boycott with me because Duluth, MN
Is a dangerous place for people of color
IÕll be running GrandmaÕs 2020
Duluth, your athlete artist is checking in.
Duluth, lady runners in the house, yo!
Duluth, lady athlete artists in the house, yo.
Now, IÕm not able to afford a coach
therefore IÕll be forced to self train
therefore IÕll be coming in with controlled quiet rage.
At this point, I plan to run GrandmaÕs 2020 barefoot
Because itÕs the only way I know how to run through
Jungle floors to collect mangoes or avocadoes or bananas. Ha.
GrandmaÕs 2020, IÕll be in the field.
My purpose in running is to get out
All of the hatred
I have for MN for being such racist bastards.
I intent to dominate the field.
Actually, I intent to decimate the field.
IÕve been taught how to dominate the field
Therefore IÕll throw down.
Watch me, yo.
IÕm no longer embarrassed about large breast cup size.
Simply, I spent 12 days in Duluth, Minnesota,
Nearly died on more than one occasion
Because the racism is physically violent and rampant and brutal.
Duluth, no.
No.
The greatest secret is IÕm in love with Duluth, MN
even though IÕm too good for Duluth, MN.
Yep. Yup.
Tuesday afternoon, I safely landed in Minneapolis, MN.
The Hard Time's Cafe is and always will be
my first point of entry into the Twin Cities
then I know I'm totally and completely safe.
Contact.
The stats are out:
The two most racist cities in the United States of America are
San Antonio, Texas and Duluth, MN
Which my family happens to own properties in both places.
Bummer for people of color.
IÕm telling you,
LifeÕs different and difficult when oneÕs a womyn of color
Living in Minnesota mostly anyone
wishes for people of color to lick the shit off MNÕs boots.
No, Minnesota, No.
Back, back, back, Minnesota.
Now, Duluth,
DonÕt sit around feeling sorry for yourselves.
You wonÕt have much time to prepare for GrandmaÕs 2020.
Personally, IÕm inviting the world to throw down with me in the field.
Duluth, weÕve got you beat.
Duluth, Athletes of color donÕt like to be hated upon.
Okay, last thing.
At the age of 14 I begun to volunteer run
Sled dogs on the Gunflint Trail, Grand Marais, MN.
If one isnÕt able to run 100 straight miles
Then one isnÕt qualified to become a musher.
Now, on three different and separate occasions
IÕve run three one-hundred mile races.
IÕm sorry to inform you, however.
GrandmaÕs is the least of my concerns.
IÕve developed serious deep muscle tissue stored in muscle memory.
When sled dogs run, the dogs have one pace and one pace only:
Fast.
IÕll be running GrandmaÕs 2020 the way we run sled dogs.
After 17 years of skateboarding:
Running GrandmaÕs will be a cake walk.
Sorry, Minnesota.
DonÕt hate for too long,
WeÕve got tons of work to get through
Before the world comes to my dadÕs doorstep in Canal Park.
Umm, well.
ItÕs pretty simple.
Athletes of color, IÕm told the men
Hold an hour long record for the twenty six miles. Ok.
Now, the Ethiopians, Somalis and Kenyans are tinny little runners, however. Duluth men hold the best form in the world.
Duluth male runners are some of the sexiest and hottest men in the world.
Hands down,
I stay as far away from male runners
as much as possible
Since IÕm an athlete artist rather than an athlete-athlete.
Now, being an athlete is: Well,
A lot of bodily fluid.
Being an athlete is gross.
Most definitely
I wonÕt hurt myself running
Because IÕm a skateboarder.
Speedskating for six years,
Five hours per day was excruciatingly painful
Therefore I canÕt imagine
Running being as terrible as speedskating.
IÕve got to find seamless running gear and running wear.
Thank you, Patagonia.
Truly Yours,
Gabriel
Word Count: 866