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Friday, November 28, 2014

“There are three kinds of almsgivers:

the one who gives, but does not want others to give;

the one who gives and wants others to give;

the one who neither gives nor wants others to give.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Expunged (erased, wiped off)

He requested that his remarks be expunged from the records.

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A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated,, King, Richardson & CO,. Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 37

Qualities Of A Gentleman.

Let not any man imagine, that he shall easily acquire those qualities which will constitute him a gentleman. It is necessary not only to exert the highest degree of art, but to attain also that higher accomplishment of concealing art. The serene and elevated dignity which mark that character, are the result of untiring and arduous effort. After the sculpture has attained the shape of propriety, it remains to smooth off all the marks of the chisel. “A gentleman,” says a celebrated French author, “is one who has reflected deeply upon all the obligations which belong to his station, and who has applied himself ardently to fulfill them with grace.”

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Hello.

Happy Holidays!

No Blog.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,000 personal journals

Word Count: 106

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 10,159

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #279 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #31 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #5 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #5 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty five and a half (25 ½”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Thursday, November 27, 2014

“He who lengthens the life of a poor man [through charity]

will have his own life lengthened

when his time to die comes.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Decorum (code of good form, correctness, good taste)

His lack of decorum disturbed the whole class.

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Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 37

Good Sense.

For successful imitation in anything, good sense is indispensable. It is requisite correctly to appreciate the natural difference between your model and yourself, and to introduce such modifications in the copy as may be consistent with them.

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Hello.

Happy Thanksgiving 2014!

No Blog.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,000 personal journals

Word Count: 112

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 10,159

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #278 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #30 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #5 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #5 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty five and a half (25 ½”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

“He who closes his ear

against the cry of the poor

will himself one day

call and not be heard.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Feasible (capable of being done, practicable)

The most feasible plan was adopted at once.

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Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 36-37

Selecting Company.

A young man or woman upon first entering into society should select those persons who are most celebrated for the propriety and elegance of their manners. They should frequent their company, and imitate their conduct. There is a disposition inherent in all, which has been noticed by Horace and by Dr. Johnson, to imitate faults, because they are more readily observed and more easily followed. There are, also, many foibles of manner and many refinements of affectation, which sit agreeably upon on man, which if adopted by another would become unpleasant. There are even some excellences of deportment which would not suit another whose character is different.

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Hello.

The Holidays

2014

Remember to be gracious if only in the memory of our Puritans who settled New England as we enter a new Era.

Remember to check one’s ego at the door.

Remember to hold one’s tongue.

Remember to always bring a small humble hoste gift.

Remember to ask one’s hoste if one ought to take off one’s shoes at the entrance or not.

Remember to mind one’s “P’s and Q’s.”

Remember please don’t mention other peoples’ appearances or physic because it’s extremely rude and in poor taste and déclassé.

Remember to mind one’s own business, always.

Remember that it’s not polite to point.

Remember not to spit indoors.

Remember to cough into the crook of one’s elbow.

Remember to sneeze into the crook of one’s elbow.

Remember to wash hands before and after eating any meal.

Remember to wash hands before and after bathroom.

Remember not to chew gum at the dinner table.

Remember not to chew gum as a hoste or guest.

Remember that at no time may any guest ever criticize a host or hostesses’ home or table otherwise any guest must take their leave or immediately make earnest apologies and it’s up to any gracious host or hostesses’ opportunity to show off their fine tuned social skills and without further ado accept any apology granted to any hosts or hostesses because an apology’s the same as music or poetry.

Remember absolutely no texting at the dinner table.

Remember not to swear at the dinner table.

Remember not to scream at the dinner table.

Remember not to roll one’s eyeballs at the dinner table.

Remember to rejoice at the dinner table.

Remember to give thanks at the dinner table.

Remember to excuse oneself after one burps.

Remember to wear one’s napkin across one’s lap and not on one’s chest to show reverence and respect towards tradition.

Remember that aside from impolite society one doesn’t wear one’s napkin across one’s chest because it was considered as rude a gesture of disrespect like the 1880’s version of a “middle finger.” (I read this information in a book and that’s how I know such bit of information.)

Remember to keep elbows off of the Thanksgiving table and sit up straight because what a great annual occasion to have survived yet another year of cruel life as our American Ancestors outlived cold freezing frozen winters in drafty tents amongst wildlife like mountain lion or buffalo or snake.

Remember that while seated at the dinner table to look at anyone and everyone in the eye especially while speaking in general around the dinner table either telling stories or disclosing information about one’s own life in general.

Remember that as soon as the coffee comes out then it’s time to start thinking about desert and subtly begin to collect one’s personal belongings and prepare to head home right after coffee.

Remember don’t ask personal questions especially when it’s family members.

Remember not to get drunk.

Remember not to get it ill (“vomit.”)

Remember to show genuine interest in others.

Remember to ask questions to many different types of people.

Remember that as a guest it’s only polite and right to ask one’s host or hostess if they require any help with either setting the table or washing dishes, however. (Most hosts or hostesses shan’t allow for either one of such chores from their guests unless…)

Remember to check and recheck and fasten and refasten one’s clothes not because the average American’s a drunkard but more so precisely because modern clothes are badly made thus our citizens and civilians must contend with broken zippers or dysfunctional belts or buckles that come undone.

(It’s dangerous to be a modern citizen or civilian when our clothing’s ever so poorly made and come easily apart.)

Remember absolutely no lectures over the dinner table.

Remember absolutely no discussions about politics.

Remember absolutely no discussions about religion.

Remember to turn the television off and DVR on.

Remember to be genuinely interested in one’s guests.

Remember to be genuinely interested in one’s host.

Remember one may watch television at any other time of one’s life.

Remember to put out dogs during the festivities.

Remember to bring in dogs during and after festivities.

Remember please don’t feed, table food to dogs.

Remember to sleep in or wake up early to take care of one’s hygiene and personal responsibilities before heading anywhere near a host or hostess door especially around one’s family’s Thanksgiving table.

Remember to wash up and wear clean clothes.

Remember to look clean shaven and neat.

Remember to wash and brush one’s hair.

Remember to floss.

Remember to brush one’s teeth.

Remember to wash one’s mouth.

Remember not to smell of cigarette smoke if one can help it.

Remember not to smell of liquor or beer until the first drink gets offered to any guest by any host or hostess or other guests.

Remember to breathe.

Remember no power struggles.

Remember you’re in control of your own emotions.

Remember don’t go around ‘pushing buttons.’

Remember to be respectful to all.

Remember to thine own self be true…

Remember to love oneself.

Remember to feel good.

Remember to stand up for oneself.

Remember that you’re loved…

Remember…

Remember to say, “thank you” at the end of a meal and at the end of one’s visit.

*****

The one tragic aspect of life that shan’t get mocked is the cruelty of one’s own relatives which’s all too common for most Americans either dealing with outright physical or verbal or psychological or emotional abuse or violence or manipulative measures or control issues or outright disrespect or hatred or jealousy or envy or mental illness or financially or emotionally carrying others through for long periods of times.

For such intelligent people with kind families who treat their family members well and fair and respectfully then have a nice and fun vacation holiday. (See you after the break. Cheers!)

As for the rest of Americans who hold tremendously tumultuous or complex or difficult relationships with either direct family members or in-laws or other familial relations then may the Gods be with thee and keep thee safe from all harm.

There’s nothing smarmy or negative or mocking to say about the many tremendously difficult conflicts between modern family members and their inability to successfully relate or convey to others in clear communication what family members wish or don’t wish to do about disrespect or abuse or cycles of abuse or the inept ability to be human and relate to others without an agenda or ulterior motive.

When anyone make snide comments about one’s look or dress or personal values and ethics then allow such stupidity to roll off one’s back.

When anyone ‘puts down’ or ‘second guesses’ one’s life choices and decisions then allow such ignorant judgments to roll off one’s back.

When anyone “belittles” of dehumanizes one’s own person then allow for such scrutiny to roll off one’s back.

When anyone turns another into a ‘workhorse’ or ‘servant’ of the host or hostess then allow for such ignorant tendencies to roll off one’s back.

When anyone traps another and makes them feel stuck in mean spirited or competitive discussions or conversations about how important everybody else might be.

However, yet one’s importance is diminished and one’s character ridiculed then allow for such haters’ comments to roll of one’s back.

When another might loathe one’s company then allow for such negative emotions to roll of one’s back.

When others are “out of control” with hatred and fear and disrespect and full of self loathing then allow for such foolishness to roll off one’s back.

When others exclude and make it a point to make one feel ever so badly then allow for such immaturity to roll off of one’s back.

When one’s not included in any chicken “pecking order” then revel in the food and wine and enjoy the company for what it is.

When one’s not included in any chicken “pecking order” then give thanks.

When one’s “out of sight” from any bully chicken then carefully and adventurously get around the food and drink and other guests without ever getting noticed.

When one’s out of range or view and forgotten by quasi matriarchal chicken bullies who tend to throw around their weight at the cold November air then rejoice in one’s good fortune to be clothed under the protective shield of an invisibility cloak.

When others sneer or snidely pretend to be better than the rest then be grateful that one’s not as dense as all that.

When one’s forced to participate with competitive sea monsters green with envy then simply be glad that one gets to go home to organic eggnog and one little ginger cookie to ‘kick off’ the Holiday season and forget all of the rude and demeaning and condescending remarks made by relatives or others who only wish that long ago someone had done them a favor and distinctively placed a bullet through their skulls because they hate themselves and most likely always have and always will thus they drown their sorrows away in bitterness and drink.

When another’s filled with so much hatred empty envy so much so that they’re willing to make remarks about others’ physical looks then be happy that one’s not that psychologically scarred for life about stupid idealisms that weren’t ever real to begin with only delusions of grandeur.

When one gets verbally assaulted or accosted or attacked by an entire room full of incorrect and wrong viewpoints then marble at the fact that one’s not so rudely forceful as to even try to fit anyone else present into square pegs because one’s more mature and freer in one’s outlook rather than to try to control “everything” and “everyone.”

When all others have lost their brains and are no longer mature adults then be kind to them for they know not what they do or say.

When one’s had enough of the verbal abuse then go home and stay there and don’t go anywhere unless one must.

When one’s had enough of disrespect or brutal name calling or patronizing and condescending remarks after one’s cleaned their hosts’ or hostesses’ entire home and kitchen then go home and stay there and try and forget that people are cruel and inhumane and screwed up yet they expect others to take care of them without ever reciprocating the warm feeling to take care without the expectation to have one’s back scratched otherwise it’s only a favor and not a gift.

When one’s had enough of the verbal threats and mean ultimatums and psychological attacks then go home and lock all of the doors and windows and relax with a favorite music record or film to forget that others of lesser significance to one’s life or career so much as manipulate themselves into thinking that they so much as get a say about the choices and decisions that one makes in their personal lives.

When one’s had enough of the bullying nags then go home and give thanks that one’s conduct isn’t like that as a mature adult.

When one’s had enough of the showing off or cruelty or sociopathic ‘dry’ alcoholic misbehavior then go home and breathe and drink a hot cup of organic non-GMO fair trade peppermint mate tea with almond milk and sit in the lap of relaxation and quiet.

When one’s had enough of misdirected confusion created in a funnel of anger by the other as a smoke screen then go home and put up one’s feet and savor a little square of dark organic non-GMO fair trade 72% dark cacao chocolate and be glad that one’s not like the dysfunctional other ones with obsessive thoughts about body weight or image or odd past sexual obsessions or warped ideals of self beauty when others are out of touch with reality.

When one’s had enough of the abuse then go home and heal.

*****

Making wrong decisions because masses wish carnal desires fulfilled isn’t enough of a logical or rational choice to drastically change the topography of any societal culture’s shopping schedule on corporate workers or paycheck-to-paycheck mass consumers, alike, who traditionally shop biweekly.

If heavily taxed workers decide to shop on Thanksgiving it’s any American Citizen and Civilian Adults’ responsibility to understand how vulgar a gesture that’s implied to shop on Thanksgiving Day only because the crude option’s there, that doesn’t make it right.

Because the crude option’s there, that our government’s bed fellows with corporations “who” hate our Nation’s underpaid and overworked economic slaves; Our Country’s historical bloodline and blood torn and blood grieved and blood bath and bloodshed and blood brothers and sisters as a Nation of American Men and Women who’ve lain down their lives so that we might be here today as one body of global citizens. (All of that translated. Bam!)

Sit up and pay attention.

Class’s already begun.

We’re two thirds through this literary and moral and ethical lesson.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yes.

Immigrants don’t usually or normally tend to shop on Thanksgiving Day’s National Federal Holiday Celebration because not only do Immigrants hold more than one sacred story to their multi-cultural and multiracial heritages and origins and loyalties to Immigrants’ Motherland and Newfound Foreign Territory also Immigrants seem to understand many emotionally intelligent multi layers of meaning that keep balance between traditional values and new traditions.

Immigrants seem ever so humble by the grandiose and pompous circumstance of Christmas or any other “regular” holiday.

Immigrants seem ever so humble by their deep knowledge and understanding at the vast differences between civility as well as self preservation and economic slavery and possible life everlasting surmountable debt.

Immigrants seem ever so humble by what Thanksgiving Day’s really all about because our American historical content and enriching and empowering history is not only what makes us great civic leaders also humble people and strong minded thinkers and no one can take that out of the fabric of the American spirit of any corporate slave chanting or humming or singing in the hot Alabama cotton field picking rows of endless possibilities if only freedom came early this year at the end of harvest.

(How the wonderful imagination wonders to other places when one works hard to concentrate on only one task at a time.)

Immigrants understand why Americans shop on Thanksgiving Day when such a Federal National Holiday’s one of if not then the most important Holiday of the entire American calendar year and if people aren’t sitting around their family’s dinner table then such humans ought to be at home contemplating a cold winter ahead with a wonderful summer ahead.

{Side Bar}

There’s nothing wrong with taking a break from everyone and everything and resting on Thanksgiving Day and slow down to a complete halt to take one good look in the mirror and smile at one’s face and internally answer one or any of the following examples:

How are you? What type of a year did you have? Do you like your hairstyle? Do you like your clothes? Are you sleeping well? Are you eating well? Are you getting enough exercise? Are stress levels manageable? Are you drinking enough water?

Then ask more personal questions like:

What important and correct lessons did you learn? Are you happy? What makes you happy? What makes you unhappy? Did you make a strong connection with at least one interesting person this year? What safe and legal and creative social goals are set towards the endeavor to volunteer on any museum board during one’s retirement? How does one reach any goals when one’s art form is ever so solitary however not lonely or lonesome by one’s intermediate level of one’s career? How does one socialize while working long and focused hours?

Immigrants understand all too well why Americans leave the comfort of their home to shop on a Federal National Holiday such as Thanksgiving Day.

Americans shop on one of the most important National Federal Holidays of the year because unlike our Immigrants, Americans don’t seem able to afford their humble learned lessons to stay away from the one corporate tyrannical system that imprisons our culture and makes economic slaves of our People.

Immigrants understand and know all too well what it’s like to go without or with very little food because throughout the centuries our Immigrants toiled away at our American land.

America’s economic harvesting economic slaves do literally pick fields for three $3.00 or $4.00 dollars an hour and when our Immigrants take bathroom break then America’s Immigrant field workers and field hands must urinate in the fields or go without work because Immigrants don’t have rights like other American workers do.

American workers and Immigrant workers are now alike on the wage and pay scale and post secondary educational advancements in opportunity and job creation because while America’s been at several different wars over in the Middle East for twelve straight years the American worker barely make above thirty eight thousand dollars ($38,000) per annual income per household of four in the Twin Cities (2013-2014.)

American workers and Immigrant workers are now alike.

American workers and Immigrant workers are now alike in that American workers must live and save as Immigrant working families do with any type of food assistance or charity or meager savings to purchase something as delicatessen as bagels.

Immigrants hold sacred their newfound American History.

Immigrants understand the subtle difference between “selling out” or “giving into” or “giving away” or “devalued” traditions.

Immigrants know the massive deterrence between belonging and exclusion.

Immigrants follow through with tradition because after what little money there’s to purchase anything at all in life then there’s always tradition and holiday to look forward to especially when one has very little money or access to money for the liberty and freedom to make purchases then one tends to learn to place strong emphasis and value on interpersonal relationships with beloved ones because what else is there but the everlasting and most righteous and gorgeous and beautiful time with family and beloved ones and close friends and their friends and neighbors and such.

In other words:

When one has nothing left then one has everything.

When one lets go of the fear of loss then one gains control.

When one forgives one’s heart then one can go on.

When one relaxes then doors open.

When one reaches out then one’s graced with the other.

When one self loves then all’s well.

When all’s well then all end’s well.

Families are the single most important aspect of culture.

Families must stay together during National Federal Holidays.

Individuals must decide how to spend their valuable time.

Individuals decide who their family truly is.

Scrooge CEOs could feasibly send their employees home and grant their employees a well deserved Federal National Holiday off like any other sane American companies do for the mental sanity and overall psychological and physical health of their employees when minimum wage employees get so little in return from the companies which they work for.

Gone on Holiday!

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 3,048

Word Count: 3,288

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 10,243

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #277 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #29 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #5 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #5 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty five and a half (25 ½”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

“Better is he who gives little to charity---

from money honestly earned,

than he who gives much---

from money acquired by fraud.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Anthropology (study of mankind)

Anthropology is a very interesting subject.

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Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 36

Long Usage.

A sort of moral magnetism, a tact acquired by frequent and long associating with others---alone give those qualities which keep one always from error, and entitle him to the name of a thorough gentleman.

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(Corrections were made.)

Hello.

American Television

Vs.

‘Real Time’ Holidays

2014

(We’re running fashionably late at 3:10 P.M. this afternoon.)

Welcome to the table.

Better late than never.

The A team just came in and back to more mediocrity.

The B team gets an A for their effort on smart modern content.

Television isn’t real.

Of course, television doesn’t literally “do” anything to anyone.

Of course, not.

Television doesn’t directly or physically harm its viewer. No.

American television psychologically promotes subliminal messages however television doesn’t ever physically or literally ‘get up’ and ‘slaps’ their viewer across the face because any television set, is an object, and objects don’t physically ‘get up’ ‘on their own’ and ‘slap’ audiences or give its viewer the ‘middle finger’ only through metaphorical gestures, of course.

Of course.

American television and facts are two different and separate (correction) professions or disciplines.

In the year 2014, there seems to be a great and wide and vast disconnect between culture ‘on the ground’ vs. television.

Why it is that television looks like an ancient dinosaur from a modern or trendy or ‘chic’ or urban or internet savvy or progressive thinkers of this mature and contemporary era’s point of view?

American television may be considered an art form however news is supposed to work as a “public service” for The People to keep Citizens and Civilians informed of ‘real time’ and actual current events and facts and evidence as public information develops and comes to evidence.

American television is entertainment although hardly ever consistently entertaining due to lack of finesse or lack of well developed written scripts or lack of smart and intelligent strong content or lack of creative leadership to carry any show through from decade to decade with a strong backbone and muscle and definition and ‘thick skin’ and kindness and mindfulness and thoughtfulness about the fragility of human life and how precious that thing called “life” truly is.

Humans are strong and easily adapt.

Humans are intelligent and smart and must seek to evolve.

Television must learn the difference between fantasy and life.

American television isn’t very good because of the strong portrayal of self loathe rather than self love.

American television isn’t really funny because it hates itself thus it hates its audience.

In other words: television’s both ethos and pathos deeply concentrate on the repetitious cycle of “metaphorical” and “subliminal” messages of psychological hyperbole in abusive and violent schemes to sell some warped or weird or ridiculous or mean spirited or cynical or loathsome aspects of life.

There, such subjects must directly be addressed so that any real great and excellent and vibrant and strong and healthy and intelligent and continuous change may come to pass and take a strong hold inside the bellies and minds of our American Citizens and Civilians as we veer through this twenty first century’s mucky and murky waters of television that all too often television makes weird judgments or erroneous populous decisions or uneducated guesses or incorrect information or point blank prejudiced statements about politics and religion or alternative lifestyles aside from commercial advertisement television ideals of confusion.

Separation of church and state is a beautiful freedom.

*****

Modern American television’s decade long disconnect to ‘on the ground’ modern culture seems to be drastic because television seems to have gotten stuck in the late 1980’s and late 1990’s and mid 2000’s.

Does anybody believe that the documentary film “Gray Gardens” is creepy because the two main interviewees seem to have gotten stuck inside a squalor time warp? Yes.

Mostly modern American television’s creepy because like “Gray Gardens” television’s main characters and protagonists and hosts and ladies and women and men and entertainers and thespians of the television world seem to forget one tiny and miniscule aspect of viewership: Entertainers forget that any audiences’ time is of the essence and that to be ‘showered’ or ‘graced’ or ‘honored’ by the presence of any audience or viewership means that one doesn’t have to perform for oneself or alone in front of a mirror or in front of solely and only one’s colleagues rather for an entire audience of perfect strangers who are “open minded” and willing to see what any “shtick’s” all about so long as entertainers remember that their Grandmothers and neighbors and aunts and others watch and that means something significantly important each and every time.

To perform in front of one’s colleagues leaves much to be desired because once one’s colleagues learn one’s number or routine then there’s not much else where to go with that “shtick.”

American television seems to want to ‘rub it in’ to the face of the viewer that television’s entertainers don’t seem to know how to “relate” or “interact” with their modern multi-racial and multi-generational and multi-cultural audiences other than to either “belittle” or “condescend” or “mock” or “ridicule” or “stereotype” or, or, or…

American television seems to have gotten stuck in high school thus “behind the scene” crews revert to what they know which is the objectification of women and the dehumanization of humans.

American television neither hires nor pays America’s top Ivy Leaguers to run television because otherwise it’d show and if American television does hire and pay top Ivy Leaguers to run television then such individuals must immediately be fired because they’re no good as leaders and haven’t been for the past twenty years and American private citizens and civilians know that to be true.

American television did get ‘hi-jacked’ by outdated and old and dusty and ugly déclassé greasy monkeys and “trailer trash” as well as a fast and ever fading vulgar “ghetto fabulous” trend that lasted like one season and went out of style however only pop entertainers “rehash” such an outdated style because pop entertainers aren’t smart or intelligent enough to come up with a smarter or more intelligent “personification of character” thus unintelligent entertainers revert back to the one-and-only stereotypical racist characterization of “Black” people or “African American” people that entertainers seem to repetitiously portray and that says a lot about not moving with the times.

American television seems like that greasy short chubby bald man dressed in a homemade ‘wife beater’ and grease on the front of his large armpit cutout t-shirt with larger than necessary armpit holes and oil stains and ketchup.

American television seems like the barmaid that doesn’t ever get laid however gives a peep show each and every time in hopes to attract anyone however she doesn’t ever attract any man or suitor because she’s cheap looking and in her own way quite ugly.

American television’s the gyrating dry vagina pumping it’s “ass” up and down the air in hopes to convince its modern audience that television ‘still has it’ even though television hasn’t had “it” for decades because television still considers itself a 1970’s and 1980’s street prostitute and not a boardroom CEO modern intelligent and gorgeous woman.

American television’s downtrodden and cynical and way-over-the-top and massively corny jokes are distasteful and ‘out of date’ and ‘out of time’ and ‘out of line.’

American television’s the pervert that wants just one tiny little peek up a girl’s skirt with the wish that the girl will volunteer to pull up her skirt and show off her vagina only because she purchased a ticket to the show.

American television’s not at all a precise modern representation or portrayal of decent modern America.

American television’s idealisms about America are as old as 1970-2005.

American television’s idealisms about American culture are outdated and unrecognizable.

American television’s idealisms about America are shabby and uneducated.

American television’s idealisms about America are stereotypical of what some producer hears in some public restroom without checking out the facts.

American television’s idealisms about America are to either stereotypically present modern Americans as undereducated ‘funny’ families with a laugh track or as dirty and indignant and petulant characters without any arch development.

American television’s idealisms about modern America is one that’s “mean spirited” only insofar that American television considers its audience at a basic functioning level (breathe, urinate and pass a bowel movement) and as one dimensional viewer without a face or a life thus television cares nothing about the spiritual or emotional or psychological well being of its viewership.

American television only cares that television ‘have its back scratched’ without scratching the overall surface of basic good manners or overall civility or complex content such as in life nothing’s black or white.

American television seems like an angry teenager that refuses to mature and throws around “the middle finger” every time television gets hurt, that no one cares if television’s programming goes off air or not, or that performers’ hair out of order or not, or if entertainers are appropriately fashionable or not.

Who cares what television’s up to? No one cares.

Only the DVR cares what television’s up to.

*****

What’s it about American television that keeps it from evolving into managing or developing or acquiring a decent human heart?

Is the reason why American television can’t acquire a decent human heart because television is too skuzzy and corrupt a medium or too inept as an overall industry?

Is contemporary American television a modern coward that doesn’t seem to or refuses to or won’t learn the social rules in how to ask decent women out on dates rather than to walk up to the women and have television’s portrayal of power to forcibly stick its fingers up women viewers’ vaginas while in public and get a feel for the women?

What’s it about American television that keeps it from embracing an entirely new decade in an entirely new century?

What’s it about American television that tells lies about itself?

What’s it about American television that continually confesses to be “reality” television thus confusing younger modern American audiences who are too gullible to intelligently decipher between ‘real time’ and “reality” television which “reality” television doesn’t exist because even documentaries are manipulated. (Period. We rest our case.)

What’s it about American television that ‘pussy foots’ around important domestic issues that mean most to hardworking “Middle Income Earning” Americans?

What’s it about American television that uses the viewer like a bad friend who secretly hates the natural gifts and talents of their friends?

What’s it about American television that self loathes?

What’s it about American television that hates so much that television’s portrayal of friendship is to pit Americans against each other?

What’s it about American television that pushes for competitive measures instead of collaborative gestures?

What’s it about American television that hates so much therefore television rather divide and conquer the American people?

What’s it about American television that hates its own people?

What’s about American television that turns into such a bully and not a leader?

What’s it about American television that’s so snide?

What’s it about American television that’s so smarmy?

What’s it about American television that wants to steal our daily bread without asking the permission of mature American adults to set the tone and agenda for their individual and unique and free thinking and open minded liberties and expressive freedoms.

What’s it about American television that hates so much?

What’s it about American television that refuses to become open minded about future changes to the culture such as science and mathematics is the new sexy?

What’s it about American television that hates little girls of color and women in general?

What’s it about American television that’s so disdainful and disgraceful and disrespectful to an entire nation of humans that supports the careers of so many privileged few?

*****

No matter how much any CEO who on average takes home about an estimate of sixteen million dollars per yearly annual income salary before taxes may care to or want to “dictate” a commercial ‘Holiday’ season schedule thrust upon the good overall general public and private Citizens and Civilians because consumers control the markets and set the tone and the pace for each holiday which spending mostly happens two weeks before any specific holiday takes place when workers get paid biweekly paychecks; (one must take a deep breath) and make a strong commitment not to “sell out” on Christmas as a Holiday itself because “Christmas” is so much more than “items” or “gifts” or “presents.”

Mostly Americans live paycheck to paycheck or credit.

Mostly Americans live “cheek to jowl.”

The reason why it’s smart business to continue with timely seasonal traditional Holiday times and schedules throughout the years is only so that humans are comforted in the steeply seeped strong traditional societal foundation to continually reestablish peace and goodwill to all people here on Earth and two weeks before each seasonal holiday seems to give most ‘Middle Income (hardworking) Earning’ Americans enough time to economically prepare for each quick passing holiday as well as added holiday domestic expenses on purchases such as festive foods and such miscellaneous items that add up over the American holidays (September to February each year) for each independent successive holiday from one to the next to the next.

Mostly ‘Middle Income Earners’ shop two weeks before each of the following holidays: Memorial Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and Valentines and President’s Day and, and, and… all over again each year for about ninety six years of one’s life.

Holidays are important to human spirituality and cognitive function because holidays mean something ever so meaningful to all people on Earth; Holidays mean that Humans still celebrate our humanity and stop to consider the graciousness and loveliness to life no matter how miserable or lonely or lonesome or bitter or hateful or disgusted or disappointed or angry or immature or arrogant or rude one might feel against another.

No matter how much any CEO may want to bank on stretching out any seasonal Holiday the reality’s that commercial advertising agencies get ahead of themselves forgetting their potential mass public general clients and their clients’ economic needs and where the markets are at.

Most American Citizens and Civilians get sick of commercial advertising chatter and noise.

Commercial advertising “chatter” and “noise” is no different than that one dinner guest at that one posh party who bothered other guests and didn’t seem to settle down and find a place to rest and wonder and think about the Universes even when they merely were asked to join in and look out a large window filled with bright stars and admire the view from henceforth. (Thank you.)

Commercial advertising “chatter” and “noise” is no different than that one waiter who pulled out his penis from his trousers and urinated into a soup in that one scene in that one film.

Commercial advertising “chatter” and “noise” is no different than that one dinner guest who refuses to speak correct and proper enunciable well spoken English without any slang and grammatically correct verbiage.

Commercial advertising “chatter” and “noise” is no different than that one host who sticks that one guest of color by themselves to do all of the Thanksgiving kitchen dishes for two whole straight hours.

Commercial advertising “chatter” and “noise” is no different than that one hostess who desires and wishes to control her guests to only agree with her.

Commercial timing and success is about community spirit and respectful communication about private citizens and civilians’ traditional schedules and sharing a season as one and not as some CEO would dictate commercial enterprise for their benefit when it’s public general information and knowledge that part time employees don’t receive fair minimum wage of twenty one dollars (as it ought to be by today’s market share) per fair hourly familial wages (2014) or paid parking or paid mass transit or paid day care or paid medications or paid co-pays or paid gym services or, or, or...

*****

The beauty about Americans is that they can and do change, however when it comes to holidays and traditions and traditional values we’re stubborn to budge and have our holidays “sold to us” before we’re good and ready because we’re a young country and must set the strong precedence not to ever forget our harsh and depressing and ignoramus and devastatingly cruel and abusive and violent war mongering and enslaved and servitude filled history of our Immigrant People and our former African slaves of The United States of America for which it stands.

Ours is a brutal history that must be remembered and studied by all from generation to generation so that our time here on Earth comes to mean something significantly important to generations to come.

Can one imagine life without holidays? No.

Can one imagine life without holiday stories of old? No.

Can one imagine life without holiday cheer? No.

Can one imagine life without holiday pie? No.

Can one imagine life without holiday turkey? No.

Can one imagine life without our Native Brothers or Sisters? No.

Holidays are a time to give thanks for being alive.

Holidays are a time to give thanks for good health.

Holidays are a time to give thanks for another year.

Holidays are a time to give thanks for such a feast (even if it’s only a bean for dinner.)

Holidays are a time to give thanks for family and friends.

Holidays are a time to give thanks for sharing joy.

Holidays are a time to give thanks for letting go.

Holidays are a time to give thanks for forgiveness.

Holidays are a time to give thanks for slowing down.

Holidays are a time to give thanks for everything good.

*****

Americans don’t deceive themselves about anything.

Americans might “bury their head in the sand” when it comes to showing up to the voting booth, however.

Americans don’t turn our back on celebrating our history that which the Pilgrims didn’t land by way of “Plymouth Rock.”

This beautiful and intelligent nation of ours carved out a future for us and here it is right on schedule and not one minute before or after our time here on Earth.

Our pilgrim ancestors and the weird puritans carved out wood log cabins with their own bare hands to ‘jump start’ our pre-democratic Republic State before we established our self governance from England.

Our pioneer American individuals and their families froze across rivers and ponds and prairie land to establish holiday civilities with their closest neighbors ten miles from their homesteads.

Americans will celebrate and purchase when they’re well and ready to do so because no one shoves the holidays down our throats since there’re so many holidays and so much spending happens all at once for Americans during this time of year.

Easy.

“The More The Merrier.”

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 3,125

Word Count: 3,205

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 6,595

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #276 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #28 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #5 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #5 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four and a half (24 ½”) inch waist as of yesterday morning.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Monday, November 24, 2014

“As a torch is not diminished though it kindles a million candles,

so will he not lose who gives to a good cause.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Obdurate (hard, unyielding, stubbornly wicked)

He remained obdurate despite all the help given him.

--- --- ---

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 36

Distinctions In Conduct.

There is the most delicate shade of difference between civility and intrusiveness, familiarly and common-place, pleasantry and sharpness, the natural and the rude, gaiety and carelessness; hence the inconveniences of society, and the errors of its members. To define well in conduct these distinctions, is the great art of a man of the world. It is easy to know what to do; the difficulty is to know what to avoid.

--- --- ---

Disclaimer: Today’s date: Tuesday, November 25, 2014:

Please don’t listen to anything that I might have to say about high or low “cholesterol” because I’m no one to speak on the subject matter.

As of yesterday’s research I found out that high cholesterol isn’t necessarily a means to heart disease and / or heart attack. (Okay.)

As of yesterday’s research I found out that one doesn’t have to cut out meat or cheese from one’s diet when one has high cholesterol. (Okay.)

(No, I’m not sure how true that is, however, I’d rather side on caution thus I’ve cut out cheese and butter completely for the next year starting as of yesterday’s date.) Cheers. (Oh, cheese.)

Hello.

Correction: there’s 95 calories in 1 teaspoon of no sugar non-GMO no preservatives and no gluten peanut butter and 190 calories in 2 teaspoons.

Health

2014

No, high cholesterol doesn’t lead to either heart disease or heart attack. (Okay.) (11/25/14)

Yes, when one has high cholesterol one can eat butter and cheese. (Okay.) (11/25/14)

********************

Yes, as of the beginning of October 2014 I found out that my ‘bad’ cholesterol level is at 298 which happen to be “high” no matter whichever delicate way or manner one might address it.

Yes, all other levels are evenly balanced.

Yes, I’ve got exceptionally low blood pressure.

Yes, I’m due back to the endocrinologist on April 2015.

Okay, as of October 2014 I’ve completely quit cheese and butter. (Well, I very rarely or hardly ever eat butter because of...)

Yes, we’ll continue to eat (¼ cup) yogurt with our organic cereal and bananas in the mornings for breakfast along with ½ a piece of no sugar organic non-GMO homemade bread with half a teaspoon of no sugar non-GMO no preservatives and no gluten peanut butter and one full cup of organic and shade grown and fair trade black coffee (no more than that one cup of coffee until the following morning.) (Life’s good.)

Yes, to completely cut out cheese from one’s nutritional intake is far more difficult than cutting out butter. I’m sure that I don’t totally understand the chemical compounds and the difference between butter and cheese, however.

For me, there’s something tastier about cheese than there’s about butter. Cheese has flavor which butter does also however and ultimately (for me) butter has an aftertaste combination of milk and lard and no, I don’t personally love that taste of animal fat on my breads or foods.

Oh, yes. I love fattening foods, however, I hardly ever eat such foods: for example: We love restaurant food in general which packs on more calories which packs on the pounds and some of my favorite foods happen to be fried chicken (thrown into hot boiling oil) or honey sauce (non spicy and non-fried) “BBQ wings” (correction,) and cheese burgers and (oven fire) (meat, bacon) pizzas and pastas and baked goods and, and, and…

Yes, I could eat vegan muffins each day of the week for life because vegan muffins taste tasty and I can’t seem to get enough of vegan muffins, however, oils, too, can be fattening thus I stay away unless I happen to frequent an establishment then I’ll purchase vegan muffins otherwise I refuse to run across town for vegan muffins, and save the vegan muffins for special occasions and holidays like around this time of year. Cheers.

*****

For example: (We eat drastically differently on weekends than we do on weekdays:)

However, what we eat on weekends isn’t necessarily considered healthy.

As a personal example:

As of today I’ve begun to drink cold filtered water with ice so that my system has to work that much harder at passing water through.

(My only educated guess is that ice cold water is far more difficult to digest than room temp water because ice cold water exerts more energy.)

{No, I neither chew ice nor crush ice because I’m neither ‘horny’ nor do I like that feel of cold crushing ice on my teeth. No thank you.}

*****

As of this Afternoon I’ve eaten the following:

Monday, November 24, 2014

Breakfast:

½ cup of organic cereal (80 calories)

¼ cup of yogurt (100 calories)

1 banana (100 calories)

Lunch:

2 standard shots of red organic wine (200 calories)

2 organic carrots (35 calories each, 70 calories total)

½ slice no sugar organic non-GMO homemade bread (100 calories)

½ teaspoon of no sugar non-GMO no preservatives and no gluten peanut butter (95 calories (1 teaspoon of peanut butter, 190 calories is 2 teaspoons of peanut butter % 2 = 47.5 calories)

35 unsalted peanuts (170 calories)

Lunch Desert:

2 squares of organic non-GMO fair trade 72% cacao chocolate bar (60 calories each, 120 calories total)

1 teaspoon of no sugar non-GMO no preservatives and no gluten peanut butter (95 calories for 1 teaspoon) (correction)

1 cup of organic non-GMO fair trade peppermint mate tea heated filtered water with one ounce of unsweetened almond milk (40 calories for 1 cup of milk)

Dinner:

2 organic cage free eggs (78 calories each, 156 calories total)

3 turkey bacon pieces (40 calories each, 120 calories total)

½ slice no sugar organic non-GMO homemade bread (100 calories)

½ teaspoon of no sugar non-GMO no preservatives and no gluten peanut butter (95 calories % 2 = 47.5 calories)

Dinner Desert:

2 squares of organic non-GMO fair trade 72% cacao chocolate bar (60 calories each, 120 calories total)

1 teaspoon of no sugar non-GMO no preservatives and no gluten peanut butter (95 calories)

1 cup of organic non-GMO fair trade mate tea heated filtered water with one ounce (20 calories) of unsweetened almond milk (40 calories for 1 cup of milk)

*****

(Yesterday was Sunday and we ate drastically differently than we have all year 2014.)

For example weekend nutritional intake:

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Breakfast:

1 fast food sausage biscuit egg (450 calories)

Afternoon Snack:

1 organic carrot (35 calories)

2 bites fast food sausage biscuit egg (90 calories)

Sunday Night Dinner with the family at 5:00 P.M.:

2 cups of bean and meat chili (300 calories each cup, 600 total calories)

2 pieces of corn non-cheese corn bread (188 each piece, 376 total calories)

20 pieces of small Shrimp (barely any calories)

2 teaspoons of shrimp sauce (barely any calories)

1 small piece of homemade pumpkin pie (300 calories)

1 small piece of homemade chocolate chip pie (300 calories)

Late Night Snack at 10:30 P.M.:

16 nut& rice crackers (130 calories) (160 over calculated)

2 ounces of beef jerky (85 calories each, 170 total calories)

1 string cheese (I ate cheese last night) (70 calories)

*****

From yesterday’s information:

My calculations read as followed:

632 - 450 = 182 calories

(1 sausage biscuit egg minus something for 182 calories)

632 + 188 + 188 + 300 + 300 + 300 + 200 = 1,476 calories

(632 plus 2 pieces of non-cheese corn bread plus 2 cups (bowls) of meat and bean chili plus two small slices of two different types of homemade pie slices plus 200 calories includes the 2^nd piece of pie however I looked up pie calories over the internet and I needed to add another 100 calories to my equation)

1,476 + 100 = 1,576 calories (2^nd piece of pie)

1,576 + 632 = 2,208 calories

(plus the initial breakfast calories then we end up with a total of 2,208 calories per total daily consumption of nutritional calorie intake)

2,208 - 600 = 1,608 calories (of awake hours)

1,608 - 600 = 1,008 calories (of asleep hours)

1,008 - 50 - 50 - 50 - 50 = 808 calories

(50 calories stripped and made bed for the week and filled the humidifier, 50 calories took (head to toe) shower, 50 calories put groceries away, 50 calories Sunday night dinner socializing)

858 + 400 = 1,208 calories (Go to sleep and no worries)

(No more calories for the day, sleep at twelve and slept until 9:00 A.M. this morning, 9 hours of sleep)

*****

From today’s information:

My calculations read as follow:

280 + 200 = 480 calories

(80 calories for organic cereal, 100 calories for ¼ cup yogurt, 100 calories for one banana plus 200 calories for 2 shots of red organic wine over lunch)

480 + 70 + 100 + 48 + 170 = 868 calories

(70 calories for 2 organic carrots, 148 calories for ½ slice of no sugar organic non-GMO homemade bread, ½ teaspoon of no sugar non-GMO no preservatives and no gluten peanut butter, 35 unsalted peanuts)

868 + 120 + 190 + 20 = 1,198 calories

(120 calories from two pieces of organic non-GMO fair trade 72% cacao chocolate, 190 calories for 1 teaspoon of no sugar peanut butter, 20 calories for 1 ounce of unsweetened almond milk in organic non-GMO fair trade mate tea in unfiltered hot water)

1,198 + 78 + 78 + 40 + 40 + 40 + 148 + 35 = 1,642 calories (at dinner)

(Dinner at 8:00 P.M. or 9:00 P.M.)

(78 calories per organic and cage free chicken eggs, 40 calories per turkey bacon slice, 148 calories for ½ piece of no sugar organic non-GMO homemade bread slice and ½ teaspoon of no sugar non-GMO no preservatives and no gluten peanut butter, 35 calories for pre-washed organic kale)

1,642 + 120 + 190 + 20 = 1,792 calories (at desert)

(120 calories for 2 squares of organic non-GMO fair trade 72% cacao chocolate, 190 calories for 1 teaspoon of no sugar non-GMO no preservatives and no gluten peanut butter, 20 calories for 1 ounce of unsweetened almond milk in organic non-GMO fair trade peppermint mate tea in filtered heated water)

1,198 (already ate)

+459 (possible dinner 8:00 P.M.)

+235 (possible desert 9:00 P.M.)

= 1,892 calories total after desert

1,892 - 600 = 1,292 calories (of awake hours by 9:00 P.M.)

1,292 - 600 = 692 calories (of asleep hours)

692 - 50 - 50 = 592 calories

(50 calories made the bed and filled humidifier, 50 calories for 2 loads of wash)

2,000 - 1,198 = 802 calories

802 - 459 - 235 = 108 calories to make up at 6:00 P.M. Snack

1 apple (100 calories in one large apple)

(Go to sleep and no worries)

(No more calories for the day, asleep by twelve tonight until 9:00 A.M. tomorrow morning, 9-10 hours of sleep)

*****

Personally, my goal is to consume 2,000 calories per daily nutritional daily intake.

Cutting out cheese from one’s nutritional daily intake is difficult to do at the best of times.

Thinking about cutting out red meat or all meat is rough.

Cold freezing water sure feels refreshing (thanks for the tip because I forget to add ice to my H2O.)

The decision to walk in cold weather is only if we feel like it because we sure can hibernate out of the cold harsh winters and climb stairs instead of long twenty or thirty minute walks in the great outdoors such as in warmer weather.

Yes, because I contend with a hormone imbalance and different “lumps” or “nodules” or “cysts” or possibly even at times with “benign tumors” then I’m not to exert myself because I’m contending with a lot thus daily nutritional intake consumption is vital not only for keeping my weight down also for nourishment and for medicinal purposes.

Yes, the average citizen or civilian is recommended to walk forty five minutes per day if they deal with any type of depression.

Yes, I find that twenty minute walks are plenty for me however once again my goal is not to exert myself if I can help it however I do exercise and keep active all throughout my work days and during my Holidays I sit on my behind and do as little as possible but bring food from my hand to my mouth.

The decision to quit smoking 100% organic tobacco cigarettes finally is turned out to be an easy decision to make because “heart disease” and “heart attack” doesn’t look too appealing after all.

As any mature adult one wonders how any of the entire chemical’s off balance?

How does cholesterol ever go off balance?

Suddenly life throws a curb ball and then what?

As any mature adult I’m willing to purchase vegan products and foods so that our family may sustain a high level of nutritional balance.

Food’s everything.

Food’s medicine.

Plant life’s medicine.

Medicinal drugs come from plants.

All drugs come from plants.

Plants are powerful.

Plants will outlive humans.

Plants outlived dinosaurs.

By April 2015 it’ll be roughly an estimate of about five months without smoking a single 100% organic tobacco cigarette. I don’t miss smoking 100% organic tobacco cigarettes however I sure miss the breaks and instead I’ve substituted smoking 100% organic tobacco cigarettes for standing up in front of the television and stretching for about fifteen (15) minutes at a time on the hour and catch up with news because hardly ever do I get around to watch anything in the day time and I do need to catch up on some domestic political news and events from my laymen private citizen’s point of view.

Stretching in front of the television sure feels great.

No longer do I feel the guilt to get up and stretch for fifteen whole solid minutes at a time then go back to forty five straight minutes of dedicated and focused and excellent work.

The freedom to be ever so vitally productive and focused and healthy and creative and physically ‘lose’ and mentally ‘open’ and spiritually ‘relaxed’ and smart and intelligent is important for language constructs and linguistic mathematical equations.

The point is this: For as long as mature adults live then no one ought to tell mature adult employees when and for how long adults may or may not frequent the restroom because humans are dainty and fragile and people contend with many different aspects of physical suffering and must attend to their bodies when their bodies call to them and not when a tyrannical boss tells mature working employees when and for how long to attend to the lavatory.

The best that any human can do is to be civil and humanitarian about fragile human life.

Stress is the number one killer in Americans.

To eliminate stress is to live well and healthy.

As of recently within the past three weeks I’ve become far more productive as a worker by standing in front of the television for about fifteen minute breaks and forty five minutes of focused and excellent work.

It’s been awesome productivity!

*****

Ever since the end of September 2014 on weekends we’ve begun to purchase two or three sausage biscuit egg meals in total for each one of our Sabbath and Sunday morning breakfast fall 2014 rituals.

The deliciousness of such foods makes my mouth water.

There’s only 450 calories in a fast food sausage biscuit egg meal with nothing else to go along with it other than organic fair trade shade grown one cup of coffee. (Yum.)

Not once in my entire life have I had so many sausage biscuit egg meals and my waist might not be going up in measurement however my cholesterol levels has since last September 2013.

As of today, I give up fast food morning breakfast food or I feel that I might end up in the ground within ten years.

One must be all too aware that when arteries clog up with dense hardened masses then “game over” because oxygen doesn’t get to the brain and one might die on the spot.

Personally, I’m in love and enchanted by the great and fattening taste of fast food.

We don’t ever get sick from fast food.

Possibly we’ll eat fast food on our birthday or some other holiday however not every weekend or Eric will get a large insurance settlement from my dead corpse.

We’ll have to figure out what we can eat for breakfast that’s not a deadly combination of fast food sausage biscuit egg because to eat such fast food each and every single weekend at months at a time is like asking for death to come to our door and the only thing that upsets me right now when I think about it: why is it that Eric can’t get into healthy food and food science?

On weekends for lunch we purchase fast food cheese burgers.

From now on I’ll only purchase a burger with nothing on it.

Nothing so that I might save my life and cut back on cheese.

We don’t drink any “sugar” soda.

We only drink vegan soda which has absolutely nothing in it and vegan soda tastes tasty once one gets used to the taste then regular sugar soda pop tastes quite sweet and it’ll be delicious to swallow sugar soda pop down the gullet as fast as one can before the soda gets too warm and the formaldehyde appears in the soda at room temperature.

Maybe, what I’ll begin to do is to order two hamburgers with absolutely nothing in ether one of them at all and that’ll do.

Two buns and one hamburger patty. (Wonderful.) I could really get into that fast food order because we’ve got organic ketchup and other organic substitutes at home in the refrigerator.

My main goal as of tonite is to give up organic ice cream because even though organic ice cream’s made with delicious sugar cane, it’s still 180 calories per ½ cup of ice cream and ice cream’s terrible for my mid section and derrière.

My other main goal would be to give up all crackers.

Other goal would be to substitute any ½ cup of daily ice cream for two squares of dark organic non-GMO fair trade 72% cacao chocolate and 1 teaspoon of no sugar peanut butter.

My goal’s twelve pounds by the end of February 2015 and somewhere I heard that from Halloween to New Year’s most Americans gain ten pounds and that can’t be so because we’re driving ourselves into the ground.

Remember, don’t ever allow for one to gain anymore than twenty pounds from one’s eighteenth birthday.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 3,700

Word Count: 3,750

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 3,750

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #275 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #27 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #5 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #5 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty five and a half (25 ½”) inch waist as of today.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

*********************

P.S. Mr. Chuck Hagel seems like a decent human opposed to war; He’s such a capable leader that The American People (Citizens and Civilians) need such a leader on our side to bring home many of our sexually assaulted troops both men and women, however. The numbers show that more men than women do get sexually assaulted in our American troop forces.

Mr. Chuck Hagel doesn’t seem to be the type of man who gives up easily not especially on our American troops, their well being and overall health.

Mr. Chuck Hagel, the American People thank you.

----------------------

Yes, writers could write pages about our American troops.

The American People require some leadership against war because that’s more representative of the American People’s wishes.

No more war.

Writers could write all about our armed troops and their beauty and bravery and a possible difficulty to intergrade back into society after being a witness to war torn atrocities and devastation. No man or woman’s ever the same after they witness the horrors of war.

War is blood and abuse of power against the humanity of anatomy and our ‘body temples’ with such a simple gesture as to enter any public premise with any type of disgraceful firearm or weapon.

What’s there to be said about Syria?

What’s there to be said about Lebanon?

What’s there to be said about Iran?

What’s there to be said about Yemen?

What’s there to be said about Afghanistan?

What’s there to be said about Saudi Arabia?

What’s there to be said about Iraq?

What’s there to be said about Turkey?

What’s there to be said about Palestine?

What’s there to be said about Israel?

What’s there to be said about Russia?

What’s there to be said about China?

What’s there to be said about The United States of America?

Will someone or something powerful bring peace to the United States of America by December 31, 2014 as previously agreed upon and as our current President publically addressed our public nation in 2013 that by the end of December 2014 our American troops would be brought back home upon American soil while Americans starved for the past twelve (12) straight years of war which could eventually lead to early death from possible heart attack or stress or poor nutrition and or malnutrition or lack of any exercise because winters get long and people hibernate and barely move their bodies. Period. (Corrections were made to this narrative.)

Who’s the most powerful human on Earth or group of citizens or legislators or whomever that can and will such power as to bring back home to our American People their Sons and Daughters after twelve (12) straight years of war in the Middle East because such wars have turned into epic sagas without an end and war’s much too much to bare for our American Country and Nation of men and women and children wishing to put money back into our veterans and country and schools and education and work and careers and jobs and opportunities to build up America for this early to mid twenty first century which belongs to global humans who must leave America and the world better than we found it.

Let’s stop any wars.

Let’s build something great together.

(I even think that’s a commercial slogan for “Home Depot” hardware store. I’ll have to look it up.)

Stop ‘Vietnam II’.

(Yes, the Americans already know that the Vietcong won and our American veterans came home filled with much war torn trauma that still touches the lives of Americans today.)

Don’t the American People ever get a long break from war?

Friday, November 21, 2014

“When the year has been prosperous,

people become more brotherly.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Savory (tasty, pleasing to the taste)

Many savory dishes were served at the class banquet.

--- --- ---

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 35-36

Ease of Manner.

By far the most important thing to be attended to, is ease of manner. Grace may be added afterwards, or be omitted altogether; it is of much less moment than is commonly believed. Perfect propriety and entire ease sufficient qualifications for standing in society, and abundant prerequisites for distinction.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,000 personal journals

Word Count: 108

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 10,765

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #272 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #24 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #4 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #4 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four (24”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Thursday, November 20, 2014

“Better be a servant in a heathen temple than take alms.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Capillary (thin, hair-like tube, very slender)

There are many capillary tubes in the human body.

--- --- ---

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 35

Modesty.

The quality which a young man should most affect in intercourse with gentlemen, is a decent modesty; but he must avoid all bashfulness or timidity. His flights must not go too far; but, so far as they go, let them be marked by perfect assurance.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Ice Cold.

Part II

Yes, the reason why I don’t personally take the time to “flirt” or ‘send out’ sexual broadcast signals is because for four (4) straight years while living in a Costa Rican Roman Catholic orphanage I was taught from the ages of six (6) through ten (10) that one mustn’t consider or think about sexual thoughts or become sexual in any way, shape or form. (Okay.)

As of 2014, my Father (retired psychologist) communicated with me that he believes that such religious rhetoric was fundamentally emotionally and spiritually abusive during my childhood. (Okay.)

No, I’ve not once or ever held any type of sexual encounter or sexual intercourse with our adoptive Father because that would be wrong. Our Father’s truly a gentleman.

One of the main reasons why I wasn’t sexually active as a teenager is because at the age of seventeen (17) our American adoptive mother informed me that I was “schizophrenic” and I believed her even though at that time I’d not yet gone through a professional and thorough examination and evaluation by any psychoanalysts and when I did have an examination and evaluation done at the age of seventeen (17) then I was notified by two psychoanalysts that my difficulty with teenage sleep (insomnia) was more of a tremendous challenge to my academic concentration than related to any “mental illness.” (Okay.)

After six (6) or more psychoanalysts over the course of the past twenty (20) years I’m considered and certified mentally healthy (as of November 2014) and as “crazy” as any other human, however. Not “insane.” (Whew.) Wonderful.

Yes, I’m finally coming into my own.

No, I’m no longer held back by religious and archaic and ‘spooky’ ‘monster under the bed’ ‘boogiemen’ sexual conventions.

Yes, I used to be scared to death by my own shadow and sexuality in general until…

*****

Yes, human intellectuality does sexually ‘turn me on’, however.

No, I don’t get wet all over the place or touch my supposed hardened nipples or play with my clitoris while in public or in front of anyone else for that matter, nor have I ever. No. Wrong.

Yes, when I get sexually ‘turned on’ by others’ intellectuality then I rejoice and revel and marble in their intelligence because it’s rare that humans are intelligent and smart enough to peacefully and cohesively and rationally talk about politics or religion or policies or economics or any other subject for that matter for which humans may elevate conversation or debate to an art form thus I keep my mouth shut because good speech’s a novelty in this modern era in which most Americans don’t realize ‘who’s who’ in the political public arena or who’s even making anti-humanitarian domestic policies against the working class folks of The Americas. (“Top Drawer.”)

There’s a lot to be said for “sensuality.”

There’s a lot to be said for “sexuality.”

There’s a lot to be said for going without carnal physical touch for consecutive years at a time due to personal sexual consideration and discerning nature.

Yes, I’ve read through the entire “Kama Sutra” book.

What of the “Kama Sutra” text?

What a beautiful love poem, no? Yes.

There’s nothing as free thinking as to have the will and make the time to educate oneself about the subject matter of “sexuality” without having an orgasm right there and then on the ‘G spot.’

Is one blushing yet?

Because I’m not.

This quite serious subject matter about “sexuality” is one that must get addressed in America from a factual scientific point of view rather than from and through religious pseudo ‘made up’ science to fit into a theological rhetorical theory rather than factual evidence such as “reproductive cycles” and “gravitational forces” and “dimensions” and “time zones” and “celestial weather” and “sound waves” and, and, and...

Who doesn’t get sexually ‘turned on’ by scientific facts like the age of trees or rock formations or geological rock timelines dating as far back to a time before…?

No, once again, science ‘itself’ as a subject matter doesn’t sexually ‘turn me on’ (of its own accord) because that would be “weird” or “odd” in the sense that abstract thought doesn’t make a sexual being out of me, however.

Concrete evidence does because it’s the details that fill in the gaps in any story. (Right. Right.)

Yes, being a “writer” or “speaker” or “thinker” or “communicator” is something of an abstract concept (in and of itself) put to words that must or mostly make sense otherwise thoughts are conveyed as straight up gibberish.

When thoughts are conveyed as straight up gibberish then it’s difficult to decipher through the massive layers of conveyance.

What does anything mean?

What’s anybody talking about?

What are we talking about?

In a world in which we’re supposed to be or “feel” or “act” ever so “connected” a general consensus is that people feel ever more so apart then ever from others and disconnected from their villages because online (internet) communication shan’t ever win over ‘real time’ or ‘real’ life human flesh experiences like the fragrance of wild flowers or the subtle perfume of a classy woman or the clear and well enunciated speech and voice of a beautiful person.

One of the most difficult subject matter to either “speak” about or “convey” anything about or “communicate” about is “sexual intercourse.”

How does any human ever approach another human and asks, “Wanna?”

What.

**********

Personal Example:

Late August 2012, after visiting a friend while I left north east Minneapolis as it heavily rained on that early dusk night, a short Mexican man stood under a bus stop asked, “Wanna go?”

I imagined kicking him real hard across the shins however I probably couldn’t have outrun him. There wasn’t any point for me to make him angry so I scrunched up my face and kept looking forward as I alone walked to my parked car.

(What’s it about Minnesota men that won’t walk women to their parked cars or destinations?)

Creepy.

Strangers are “fucked up.”

Yes, I’ve been a witness to “Black” men publically masturbating while I made my way across “Loring Park” on a skateboard in early evening summer nights (2008-2012.)

Yes, I hailed down a cop car and gave the Caucasian male police officer as much information as I could about what I’d seen.

End of personal example.

**********

Obviously, many mating rituals are actualized and with any luck anything in nature does procreate.

It’s any wonder that the human race became ever so over populated because when I stop to consider how difficult and complex opposite sex interpersonal relationships and friendships are to accomplish well (to begin with) then it’s any wonder that we’re here at all because men and women can truly hold vast amounts of miscommunication and prejudice (at the very best of times) and I’m describing humans with “average” intelligence.

No, I wouldn’t care what it would be like to hold a deep and physically sexual relationship with a “genius” because I’m sure that such a man would drive me ‘nutty.’ (Yep.)

Imagine what a relationship must be like with a “genius”?

(Absolutely not.)

(That above remark’s going to get me into trouble.)

Yes, how remarkable that humans procreate at all when it’s difficult enough as it is to convey or directly address anything meaningful outside of the self much less sexual or carnal desire upon or with another’s body.

How does anyone ever establish intelligent and smart adult trust worthy interpersonal relationships and personal close friendships with the opposite sex in which some day one won’t have to walk into a room and possibly one’s opposite sex friend will either jump on top of their opposite sex friend or profess undying and relentless passionate love?

What would any of it mean?

Nothing and everything.

What is it about any intellectual that makes them non-romantically and platonically ‘burn’ for the opposite sex that whom men either haven’t been able to have much translated luck or even so much as convey anything meaningful or establish a line of communication in the first place knowing perfectly well that it would be exclusively safe to connect on any smart level, however, fear of rejection or miscommunication gets in the way and “then they fight” and don’t speak for years at a time.

(Thus is the story of my personal and close male friendships and interpersonal relationships with the opposite sex until out of the blue intelligent and gorgeous men will call me and say, “Where are your right now?” or “What are you doing right now?” or “When can we hang out next?” or “I’m on my way to you.” (Okay.)

(My male friends don’t emotionally or intellectually intimidate me one bit only “miscommunication” or “conflict” does scare the dickens out of me, enough to send me fleeing in complete distrust of the other when too much misunderstanding’s occurred between parties; Especially, only a few short days after I’ve met with handsome tall and light skinned Spaniards then I still tend to and do pick up their thick and voluptuous accent and run with it even if any Spaniards’ accent makes me seem foolish to the Minnesotans. The Spaniards’ accent tends to drop and go away after about one week or two weeks of going without constant interaction.) It’s not something that only English speakers know anything about. (Nope.)

Yes, my friends are sexy and sexual and sensual only not with me personally or I directly with them.

Yes, it’s nice to develop platonic non-sexual mature responsible adult crushes with other remarkable and beautiful intelligent people; or at least my Father tells me, that it’s only good and natural to be somewhat attracted to your close and personal friends. (Good. Because I am.)

What is it about missing the communication mark?

Aren’t people taught to “shoot” a gun or bow-and-arrow at an early age, anymore?

What is it about both men and women communicating like Neanderthals?

*****

Yes, I’ve been described as “ice cold” or “Mr. Darcy” because of my lack of communicative warmth especially at the beginning of friendships or romantically established personal and close and intimate sexual interpersonal relationships with former lovers.

Yes, I’m generally a warm and sweet human, however.

There’s something disdainful about arrogantly made assumptions or basic general rudeness or vast immaturity or prejudice that makes me want to teach harsh and difficult lessons because when people can and do endure such difficult complexities amongst and between parties then one may come to measure the grandiose and smart and real and strong and beautiful character of the other while acting under the direct and difficult influence of miscommunication and further misunderstanding because that’s when one gets to see what the other’s truly made of.

What is it about miscommunication or misunderstanding that once set in motion and such awkward ugliness transpires between parties then language turns into a larger snowball that possibly can and often does become a catastrophic event and mound into a linguistic avalanche.

What is it about conflict that must be resolved otherwise the resonance of stubborn misunderstanding lingers in our cellular memory of so many forgotten yesterdays.

Yes, I do have one important celebrity letter still yet to write only because my friend directly asked me to write to him about fourteen (14) years ago yet I keep putting off writing that letter because I don’t know what to say to him especially after everything that he’s accomplished in his beautiful life.

(I loved the way we danced together as two mature adults gliding through space and time only because he ever so beautifully lead the dance while I merely dragged along with two left feet.)

Yes, I do have one apology to make to one private male citizen acquaintance because we ‘got off on the wrong foot’ and it’s going on five (5) years that I must get up the courage to dial up his digits and say,

“Hello. How are you?” Or “When would you like to meet together for lunch?” or “No, I shan’t ever hold any type of accent while directly speaking to you even if it were to kill me.” Or “How about I communicate with an impeccably properly well enunciated American modern accent?” or “How about it? Shall we meet and see if we’d like to ‘get on’ as friends?”

(Yes, I seem to have lost his personal cellular phone number and I’m asking the Gods to impromptu this man’s intelligence with the courage to call me up out of the blue and say something like; “Without any bullshit, should we start again?” Yes. How about lunch before we die?)

Yes, I was considered “Mr. Darcy” because I used to make it a social habit to quietly and directly place most new comers or stranger people or acquaintances under severe scrutiny to test their intelligence. (Ouch!)

No, I no longer do that condescension because it’s rude and immature and since I, too, can mature then so can most other people.

Yes, I’m one of the most ‘aloof’ people one shall ever meet because I don’t like to show emotions because sometimes I’m overwhelmed by emotions and must stop them in their tracks.

No, I don’t want to be so obvious as to be thought of or considered as “ridiculous” because I’m a smart and intelligent woman and that’s what attracts incredibly and terribly good looking and intelligent foreigner fellows and gals to hold deep and long lasting and satisfying and wonderful and kind and sweet and endearing friendships with me because I don’t bite even though (at first) my bark’s louder than my bite.

No, I don’t ever go out of my way to be powerfully sexy or a femme fatale because most likely I’d trip over my own two feet and land in a pool of water or fall down or end up with smeared dog poop on one of my shoes.

No, the Gods haven’t granted me commercialized sexuality in the sense that ‘everything’ about a woman’s appearance is perfectly manicured and her hair and makeup are perfect and not a single hair is out of order. (Well, I’m not like that. I’m too femininely rugged.)

Yes, I’m imperfect and I make mistakes. (So what?)

Yes, I come across as “ice cold” until people figure out my nine (9,000) thousandth layer and realize that such layers are forevermore and to sit back and relax and enjoy the joy ride of platonic and nonsexual and close and personal and intellectually intimate friendships because what my ‘peeps’ have figured out is that I shan’t ever go out of my way to purposely hurt them or to be unjust -- especially after our trial period is over and our newfound faith in opposite sex friendships is established that we’re meant to enrich and support with boundless consideration and continuous learning and respect and responsible interactively mature and peaceful communication in our life lasting friendships.

Yes, I’ve been considered “ice cold” because I’m discerning and I didn’t sexually ‘put out’ in my younger years.

Yes, I’ve been considered “ice cold” because my mind must first be warm and revved up like an engine to make the cerebral kitten purr.

(When my intellectual mind isn’t into something or somebody then most likely my spirit or mind or body won’t be either which that means that I shan’t bother with the other because why?)

Yes, I’ve been considered “ice cold” because to make love to my human intellectual spirit then one must hold the key to high levels of intellectual discourse and complex verbal sparring abilities otherwise no go.

Nothing much sexually ‘turns me on’ like high levels of verbal intelligence can and does to my senses.

Nothing much sexually ‘turns me on’ like mature intelligence.

Nothing.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,088

Word Count: 2,751

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 10,765

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #271 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #23 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #4 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #4 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four (24”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Note:

Yes, we’re very well aware about global current events.

We read our dosage of daily news.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

“Whoever gives the poor money is blessed sixfold;

whoever does it with a kind word is blessed sevenfold.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Paean (hymn of praise, song of triumph)

On Easter morning a paean of praise filled the cathedral.

--- --- ---

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 34-35

Common Place Speech.

Compliment is the language of intercourse from men to women. But be careful to avoid elaborate and common-place forms of gallant speech. Do not strive to make those long eulogies on a woman, which have the regularity and nice dependency of a proposition in Euclid, and might be fittingly concluded by Q.E.D. Do not be always undervaluing her rival in a woman’s presence, nor mistaking a woman’s daughter for her sister. These antiquated and exploded attempts denote a person who has learned the world more from books than men.

--- --- ---

Yes, further grammatical corrections were made.

Hello.

Ice Cold.

Part I

Yes, I do have a fully intact female heterosexual sexuality.

Yes, we’re involved in a legally binding and contractual monogamous adult consensual heterosexual marriage.

No, we don’t consider “Adultery” as part of our moral or ethical Atheist and intellectual landscape.

Yes, both Eric and I are exclusively “romantic” and “sexual” with each other and no one else because we chose our relationship to be so.

Yes, both Eric and I’ve been exclusively “romantically” and “sexually” involved with each other and no one else for eight (8) straight years (October 2006-November 2014.)

No, neither Eric nor I’ve held any sexual intercourse (penis inside of a vagina) with anyone else other than with each other and that’s how we roll.

Yes, Eric’s also informed me that if he were to ever get the urge to be sexual with another individual then he’ll directly let me know and vice versa and our marriage would be over.

Hypothetically, at such a time either both Eric or I’d be free to independently wander on our own and forge new sexual relationships with anyone we’d please without either one of us having anything to say about any of it. (Cheers.)

Yes, we take our marriage in stride.

Yes, we’re committed to our marriage ‘till the last drop.’

Yes, we work very hard at our marriage because interpersonal relationships are tough to do at the very best of times.

Yes, I love Eric very much.

Yes, Eric loves me very much.

*****

Okay.

Is everybody alright?

Can ‘everybody’ handle adult content?

Okay, our entertainment attorneys are giving us the ‘green light’ for me to go ahead and write whatever the hell I want to write about on this page until about January 2015 and then we ‘lay her down to rest’ (another blog for another day.) (R.I.P.)

No, I’m neither to “self incriminate” myself or ‘name’ others by their first and last full and complete name or make any accusations only state suppositions (beliefs, guess, idea, theory, possibility, hypothesis, assumption, deduction, conclusion, presumption.)

No, I’m neither to make “endorsements” (otherwise I’d have to be paid by companies and since I’m not a ‘public figure’ then I don’t ever have to mention any product by name, however.)

(Yes, I may describe any product in detail and as a private citizen if I ever do happen to mention any product by name then consider it a bonus to have any products’ label archived for all time so long as digital records in some data bank server exists.)

Nor am I to publically ridicule another private citizen only make ‘bias’ personal statements (positive or negative) as a private citizen who happens to write general data filled observations about our world and era today. (Corrections.)

Yes, as with ‘public figures’ they’re open to any type of scrutiny because ‘public figures’ bank ‘mad’ ‘cash cows’ off of their press relations and endorsers.

Yes, there’s seven (7) years of “statute of limitation” for such stupid things like “blunders” and “mistakes” or “mishaps” because any of those which items may be granted forgiveness or “pardons.”

Yes, the Nonfiction stories I’ve reverted back to from my memory ‘synapse’ (neurotransmitters) is about twelve (12) years ago (1998-2002) therefore I can and will write my own personal storylines told by me so that there’s very little room for interpretive or translated error in the recounting of these storylines (if ever retold by a third party, for example).

And the stories are told with a strong foundational first person narrative or voice or prose rather than third person which would be odd.

Please, don’t be afraid of words.

Words on a page won’t jump out and bite one’s nose off.

Please, keep in mind that I’m emotionally grounded and mentally stable and mature as an adult person.

Please, keep in mind that I’m not “mentally ill.”

Please keep in mind that I’m not “brain damaged.”

Please, keep in mind that if artwork or artistry or work-in-progress is, too, difficult for the reader then please don’t read.

Please, keep in mind that I write for the average global private citizen that understands literary “progress” and “development” isn’t perfectly established because to mold anything into shape is not only hard work also messy.

Has anyone ever ‘thrown’ pottery?

Pottery’s ever so messy to work with as an art medium.

Most sculpture and molding are messy art forms yet glorious and divine in spirit and devotion in the portrayal of our human anatomy as something of a grand gift to our senses from the Gods rather than self loathe or self denial.

Please, keep in mind that I do have a strong hold of my senses so that the reader may enjoy this ‘front row seat’ literary personal development.

How awesome for the reader to be some of the first to read any writers work with all of the messy effort it takes no differently than sexuality or friendship or any interpersonal relationships of any type.

By the time the reader’s read this ‘draft,’ I’ve already made a many or as little as fifteen (15) or thirty (30) ‘draft’ changes and this document’s probably full of grammatical errors everywhere. (Oh, well. One day at a time.)

Please don’t be afraid of me because I’m a lovely woman.

Please don’t be afraid of yourselves as lovely readers.

Peace.

*****

Yes, in many different Native American tribes and cultures throughout Mesoamerica and Northern America it’s commonly known as basic cultural knowledge and pure understanding that tribes’ people may get involved in an intimate relationship with their intellectual as well as sexual ‘dream world’ “spirit” lover who might come to us in our dreams and their power over us is astonishing thus most people say prayers to have the power of the Gods protect us from all harm and keep us safe from entering into other worldly gravitational forces.

The point is that we keep our minds “present” and “near” to this plane of physical existence and ‘real time’ reality because sometimes even dream world “spirit” lovers can have a strong magnetic pull on us and draw us into their world and nearer to another dimension which isn’t where we want to go so that we might learn our personal lessons those which we must learn while here on Earth in our already established flesh and bone system of organic neurological pathways and movement that which lights up many different regions of our brains to convey to us all that we already know that which to be true for each and every single one of us.

(Later on, we’ll make time for the “esoteric” like when we’re dead.)

For example:

Humans from this immediate physical plane and realm of existence may become emotionally “attached” or “closer” to their dream world “spirit” lover than to that of their actual ‘real time’ lover or domestic ‘flesh-and-bone’ partner.

Such an individual may make the tough decision and choice to end their spousal relationship with their ‘real time’ partner to take up a life with their dream world “spirit” lover as for their own.

No, tribes’ people don’t “cheat” or commit adultery on their beloved domestic partners in this immediate physical realm and era or dimension when their partner’s dream world “spirit” lovers come to them because most likely no such thing will ever happen to such individuals, however.

If such a phenomenon were to occur to any individual then that individual has many hard and tough and difficult choices and decisions to make about their dream world and spiritual world and ‘real time’ life.

How does any individual?:

Chose to leave all of their worldly cultural structures and ideals behind for a far more esoteric worldly structure such as that of their dream world “spirit” lover’s?

Is any dream world “spirit” lover ever so much more fulfilling than any other physical human form ever could be as astonishing as our ‘real time’ intellectual and sexual encounters?

Does that mean then that when ‘real time’ dreamers fall in love with their dream world “spirit” lovers then such human individuals fall in love with either their brain chemicals or themselves or their actual brains?

No, I haven’t ever had my intellectual and sexual dream world “spirit” lover come to me in my sleeping dreams. (Not once. Not ever.) Thank goodness. (Personally, I’m not into that sort of thing.)

*****

Sexuality’s difficult to teach at the best of times.

When I think about how the Aborigines used to (might still do) teach their offspring (of a certain age) to go and masturbate up against trees or kiss or hug trees then I think about how eloquent and beautiful that practiced tradition was.

No, I haven’t ever masturbated up against a tree.

Yes, as a little girl of about eleven (11) years of age I used to either innocently kiss my hand or the mirror to exude confident gestures of self awareness of the strong yet subtle sexual and non-sexual messages others broadcasted and influenced me and my healthy sexuality.

Yes, of course, I knew I was kissing my hand or the mirror while I pretended to kiss another. (How exquisite childhood is.)

*****

Yes, in some honors college course I was obligated to read through all of Anaïs Nin diaries.

Possibly, I did get through Anaïs Nin’s first decade of personal journals (the 1930’s) and after that’s a mystery because by mistake I found out Anaïs Nin published “erotica” literature and I understood the power of women’s fragile place in literature when women were ‘forced’ to write “erotica” so that many well established female writers (under male pseudo names) could eat through world war I and World War II since there was little to no work for writers living through the nightmare hell of war torn Europe at that time.

(Please, forgive me: I’m terrible at recounting any stories from my third or fourth party perspective.)

It’s been so long: If I did correctly get the story right then Anaïs Nin was a young teen French / Spanish / American woman in the mid to late 1920’s and for Anaïs Nin to eat she began to write “erotica” literature because publisher’s paid better than other works of fiction.

(Corrections were made on historical references.)

Anaïs Nin made more money from writing “erotica” literature under a male pseudo name than she did under her own name trying to get short stories published until her publisher discovered that she was a woman and demanded that she write more “erotica” literature for a “private client” only for Anaïs Nin to discover that the “private client” turned out to be her publisher and he couldn’t get enough of her literary “erotica” so something happened and either the publisher told Anaïs Nin that she’d be held as his personal and private erotica writer or he’d became physically forceful with Anaïs Nin and she fled either France or France?… (I can’t remember, it’s been since the fall of 1996.)

*****

Yes, because of Anaïs Nin I discovered that I, too, was a sexual being and I wanted ever so badly to be as “open minded” and sexually free to think as she had about human sexuality or at least as her “erotica” literary characters were portrayed in her short and magnificent stories.

No, I neither wanted to be Anaïs Nin nor her characters, however.

Yes, I did want to be more sexually free thinking than I’d been up to that point when I read Anaïs Nin at the age of nineteen (19) in 1996.

Yes, once again I rediscovered my deep sexuality when I read “Lolita” as a twenty three (23) year old woman in my senior year of undergraduate studies.

Yes, I read “Lolita” for a film analysis class upon the vast contrast and comparisons and differences between literary “erotica” vs. cinema “erotica” or pornography.

No, I didn’t want to be like any of the characters in any of the books or novels or films.

Yes, eventually I wanted my own sexual adventures and opportunities to sexually flourish as a young woman even though I was somewhat of a “prude” and held onto all of my “damaging” and (non-sexual or non-physical molestation) “abusive” religious rhetorical teachings that I was taught while at the Roman Catholic orphanage (from age six (6) through ten (10) years of age) about how humans aren’t supposed to have sexual thoughts or be sexual ever except for procreation and nothing else thus I hardly ever (as of today) “flirt” or ‘put out’ sexual signals (for the most part) nor did I hardly ever send out sexual signals in my formative years or otherwise because I’d other more pressing life experiences and responsibilities happening than to get involved in sexual relationships.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,500

Word Count: 2,569

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 8,014

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #270 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #22 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #4 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #4 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four (24”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Personal Literary Notes:

My ‘First Drafts’ are normally basdly wrrtten

relax because when i write my ‘first draft’ they’re the ugliest and mostly brutal looking things around.

For Example:

nora;;u I male my wirrint look asy however.

(Normally, I make my writing look easy, however.)

to make writing lookk easy is harddd work.

Muy spelling’s atrocious and my thought patterns aren’t quite distinctively put together and I sound like a rusty pippe.

pur[posely I’m showing the reader how trerrible a ‘first draft’ can be sot that the reader’s not so judgemental about how any writer writes.

my ‘first draft’ looks like a ‘donkey’s rear bottom’ and that’s saying a lot fbecause live’s far more completcated to get down on papper than you’d thinkl.

Gotta run.

Simply shojing an exemple of ho wterrible it would be to ait (sit) through a ‘first draft’ that doesn’t get ‘flushed’ out becausse I’m mto sure than anybody would be able tot read it.

Cheers.

Point Made.

****************************

My ‘First Drafts’ are normally Badly Written

Relax because when I write my ‘first draft’ they’re the ugliest and mostly brutal looking things around.

For Example:

nora;;u I male my wirrint look asy however.

(Normally, I make my writing look easy, however.)

to make writing lookk easy is harddd work.

(To make writing look easy is hard work.)

My spelling’s atrocious and my thought patterns aren’t quite distinctively put together and I sound like a rusty pipe.

Purposely I’m showing the reader how terrible a ‘first draft’ can be so that the reader’s not so judgmental about how any writer writes.

My ‘first drafts’ look like a ‘donkey’s rear bottom’ and that’s saying a lot because life’s far more complicated to get down on paper than one would think.

Got to run.

Simply showing an example of how terrible ‘it’ would be to sit (‘ait’ for example) through any ‘first draft’ that doesn’t get ‘flushed’ out because I’m not sure that anybody would be able to read it.

Cheers.

Point Made.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

“He who gives alms in secret is greater than Moses.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Turpitude (guilt, baseness, depravity)

In police court a man was charged with moral turpitude.

--- --- ---

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 34

What To Tolerate.

The whims and caprices of women in society should of course be tolerated by men, who themselves require toleration for greater inconveniences. But this must not be carried too far. There are certain limits to empire which, if they themselves forget, should be pointed out to them with delicacy and politeness. You should be the slave of women, but not of all their fancies.

--- --- ---

Hello.

No blog.

Yes, I had so much fun ‘flushing’ out my literary “sex” piece from yesterday that I’ve reached my writing limit for both days. Thus I’m going to go and cook non-hormone and non-antibiotics meat that was grass fed and this and that.

Yes, I’m hungry.

Lots of work took place already.

It’s time to eat and do a little bit of research about human sexuality and such and study a film and call it a day.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,500

Word Count: 184

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 5,445

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #269 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #21 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #4 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #4 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four (24”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Monday, November 17, 2014

“[When a rabbi saw a man give a penny to a beggar in public:]

“Better had you given him nothing than put him to shame.” ”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Tutelary (protecting, having guardianship)

The pagans selected one of their gods as a tutelary divinity.

--- --- ---

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 33-34

With Whom To Associate.

The conversation of those women who are not the most lavishly supplied with personal beauty, will be of the most advantage to the young aspirant. Such persons have cultivated their manners and conversation more than those who can rely upon their natural endowments. The absence of pride and pretension has improved their good nature and their affability. They are not too much occupied in contemplating their own charms, to be indisposed to indulge in gentle criticism on others. One acquires from them an elegance in one’s manners as well as one’s expressions. Their kindness pardons every error and to instruct and reprove, their acts are so delicate that the lesson which they give, always without offending, is sure to be profitable, though it may be often unperceived.

Women observe all the delicacies of propriety in manners, and all the shades of impropriety, much better than men; not only because they attend to them earlier and longer, but because their perceptions are more refined than those of the other sex, who are habitually employed about greater things. Women divine, rather than arrive at proper conclusions.

--- --- ---

Yes, I ‘flushed’ out the piece from yesterday for your reading pleasure and enjoyment so that the reader may better understand what I write because otherwise my writing would be futile and my writing’s anything...

Yes, I did get a bit ‘nervous’ writing about “sex” or “sexual desire” or “sexual arousal” or “sensuality” because the content and topic of discussion is one of the most important there’s in the Universes.

Hello.

Minnesota

2014

Prologue.

Our American girlfriends tell us that their Italian girlfriends tell our friends ‘to get over’ ‘public’ “sexual assault” because our American girlfriends’ Italian girlfriends deal with daily “sexual assault” when the women get grabbed on the breasts or buttocks each and every single day that they travel to and from work on public transit.

(Dearest Italian men; welcome to an entirely new era in which men keep their hands (and other body parts) to themselves unless men desire to be considered “perverts” or “menace” to society.) Thank you.

By definition: Sexual Assault:

Source from the United States Department of Justice

Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape.

No, “sexual assault” doesn’t only pertain to “rape.”

Yes, “sexual assault” is a general and broad term for sexual misconduct or sexual advancement by the perpetrator.

------------------------

The main social rule is this:

“If you can’t talk about anything then “it” isn’t real.”

Said my Father when he spoke to me about sex the night before I held my first consensual sexual intercourse encounter at the age of twenty one (21) the summer of 1998 to my first fiancé.

In other words: When any man desires to touch any women’s breasts while in public then have the courage to ask women; “May I please have the permission to touch your breasts?” (Right. Right.)

When any man desires to touch any women’s buttocks while in public then have the courage to ask women; “May I please have the permission to touch your buttocks?” (Right. Right.)

When any men can’t bring themselves to ask any women their permission to sexually touch or ‘make advances’ upon women’s private regions then such men live ‘inside their head’ with ‘wet dreams’ and ‘little kid desires’ to “fuck” strange women while the women ride the subway or train yet men can’t control their sexual urges or impulses or body mechanics or hormones enough to keep stranger men’s grubby little paws off of stranger women.

One gets my direct point about sexual misconduct.

Don’t touch anybody especially in a world of Ebola and other deadly diseases.

When one’s simply too horny to ride public transit without the ability to keep their male lemur hands off of human female reproductive parts then stay home and masturbate, however.

One mustn’t go around touching women on women’s “breasts” or “buttocks” region (or any other body part for that matter) because there’re serious and strict laws in America that can and do get men and women convicted of “sexual assault” crimes.

“Get with the ‘fucking’ program,” and teach both little boys and adult men to stop being such “perverts” while in public. (Yuck.)

----- ----- -----

Yes, I’ve been “sexually assaulted” three (3) times while living in the Twin Cities Metro Area within the past decade (2004-2014.)

By “sexual assault” I mean, that while fully dressed, I’ve had either my breasts or buttocks “grabbed” or “touched” or ‘groped’ by complete strangers without any discussion about whether intimate touch was something that we wanted to share with each other in the first place or not at all.

People sure are “fucked up” in the head as my father refers to people’s insanity or “mental illness.”

Once (2011), while in the field conducting documentary research I was brought into a backroom by a friend’s friend who happened to be a stranger and an acquaintance to me as of that night and the stranger felt up my breasts and buttocks while fully dressed.

The second time (2011) that I was erotically touched on my left breast it was by a prostitute while conducting field research for a documentary.

The third time was this summer (August 2014) while out dancing at the “Gay 90’s” I had an Iraqi stranger man put his hand down-and-up my shirt and under my sports bra and feel and squeeze my left nipple.

Yes, I was sober driver that night and he was a ‘worm’ and quick with his scrawny little knuckles. Immediately, we left. I was ever so disgusted.

Such an unspoken act such as that type of sexual misconduct will leave one speechless and breathless at the liberties that stranger men will take while in public settings with cameras rolling everywhere nowadays.

No, I’m no longer “bitter” in the ways that you might think.

Yes, I hold my personal ideas as to why there’s so much sexual misconduct or “sexual assault” in Minnesota and the United States or the world in general.

Yes, there’s still something ‘sweet’ left in me that I shan’t allow for the world to destroy and such vital sweetness happens to be my intellectual sensuality as a sexual being.

No, I’m not licked (‘beaten.’)

No, I’m not mad as hell any more.

No, thankfully, I’ve not once been raped and at this stage in the game I’d kill any rapist perpetrator with my own two bare hands and call it even.

No, no one: Not the government or my former professors from about fourteen years ago or my immediate professional retired mentors or my mentees or the Gods will tell me how to think or feel about “rape” or “sexuality” or any other subject matter pertaining to “human sexuality” or “sensuality.”

(Yes, I’m an adult woman and will do my own thinking. Thank you.)

-------------------------------

Introduction.

Literary Disclaimer.

No, I’m not “brain damaged” or “retarded” (politically incorrect) or “mentally handicap.”

No, I’m not “drunk” or “dumb” or “stupid” or “childish” or “immature” any longer, although, I’ve only been drunk (as much or as little as) ten (10) times in my entire life.

(Whew, and that was more than enough drunken lessons to teach me difficult and wonderful and complex and fun and powerful aspects about myself and our friends and our mutual appreciation and respect for each other without ever laying a hand on each other in disrespect either in violence or sexual assault or sexual misconduct. Only with true honorable respectful help or intension have we ‘lent a hand’ without any sexual molestation because we’re wired that way in friendship and in up brining.)

Yes, we’re all adults here now.

We ought to be able to address any subject matter no matter how much we either want to ‘climb underneath the furniture’ or completely disappear.

Adults deal head on with strong winds no matter how difficult it may be to put language or linguistics or speech to anything at all that matters to be conveyed as well or as precisely as possible.

Yes, I make plenty of mistakes with my writing because sometimes I do get a bit ‘nervous’ to address certain content in any subject matter specifically when it comes to writing about “sex” or “erotica” or “sexual arousal” or “sexual desire.”

Yes, I was brought up to think and speak and write about anything to my heart’s content because this is the Era in which we live.

Yes, I, too, can get real “ambiguous” real quickly to protect my stories from further discovery which isn’t any business of the reader because my personal life is a private one as a citizen and mine to explore and develop in real life and real time.

In other words: My writing might be amusing or entertaining, however.

My life isn’t entertainment because life’s far more serious and fun than the visual image ever is in the sense that life’s interactive and two dimensions isn’t.

Life’s fun.

What can I say?

Nothing.

Why’s life fun?

Life’s fun because sexuality and sensuality exist.

Yes, I’m an adult writer I do know about these things.

*****

According to my talk-therapist, there’s absolutely nothing “wrong” with me thus I’ve been ‘kicked out’ of therapy for conducting an overall healthy lifestyle.

Suddenly, that I was ‘kicked out’ of talk-therapy for not having any ‘real’ problems other than everyday human condition challenges, I feel that I’ve developed a ‘spring’ to my walk and a classy ‘middle finger’ attitude about many aspects in life.

No, I no longer feel “raw” or “open” or “vulnerable” to everything that comes my way.

Yes, I feel more shielded somehow.

Perhaps, I’ve become the shield that I needed to protect my own heart.

********************

Main Point.

“‘You’re a “‘second class’ citizen,”” My Minnesotan Caucasian male friend in his early forties looked directly at me as he informed me of such a bias opinion and I wanted to…

Shyly and respectfully, I obverted my eyes as my eyelashes touched my cheeks several times and that motion tickled my skin and shivers went up-and-down my spine as I withdrew my direct gaze from my friend’s direct and intense stare because his gaze drilled a gaping hole directly into my soul and I felt ever so exposed by my friend who can ‘draw’ me ‘out’ like no one else can because he has that type of (non-sexual) power over me.

Yes, I obverted my eyes only to give my friend the space he ever so respectfully “deserves” without me either burning my gaze directly into his eyeballs or soul and find out truths about him that he didn’t want me to know or otherwise hit him hard across the mouth and draw blood from his lip for stating the violently obvious aspect about my life in Minnesota.

My friend’s “sexy” yet not sexy “enough” to “mount” him and make love to him because once men enter that “friend zone” then that’s that. A man’s ‘branded’ for life as only a “friend” unless…

My friend was ever so slightly ‘arrogant’ as to state, “‘Every Minnesotan’s just as “bitter” and “lonely” as you’re in your ‘walkout’ basement private study because nobody wants to ‘reach out’ to anybody else other than Minnesotan’s five (5) ‘best friends’ and that doesn’t include you, because for as beautiful and as intelligent as you’re, you’re a “foreigner”.’”

(Yes, I imagined drawing blood from my close male friend’s lip then licking up his blood with my tongue, because human sexuality’s like that yet I didn’t “physically” or “actually” or “factually” ‘make a sexual move’ on my close and personal male friend because of the obvious fact that I’m married and I’m always ‘the last one’ to ever ‘make a move’ as an INFJ personality type.

(Nope. Absolutely not. I’m too shy for any sexual advancements of any type and the few times that I’ve ‘gone out on a limb’ and asked Minnesota men out on “romantic” dates, I’d been rejected ever so harshly, that that type of lesson kept me in my place as a woman under an archaic cultural construct.)

Yes, some of my best friends happen to be Minnesotan white (Caucasian) males.

My friends have known perfectly well that I’m happily and unhappily married.

(It’s no secret that it’s taken Eric eight (8) years to learn how to cook anything other than eggs.)

My male friends have known that I’ve wished for Eric to learn to cook.

My closest male friends have known ever since October 3, 2010 in our first year of marriage that we’ve been having the same fight about who’s going to do the cooking and “dumb” and “stupid” domestic power struggles.

“Will you be okay?” My friend deeply and lovingly looked over at me.

“Do you need anything?” He stared me down longer than necessary. I shifted my weight from one foot to another without any sexual impulse in any of my bones. My body was open and neutral to him while he spoke.

My male friend knew very well that even if I were to need ‘anything’ at all that I wouldn’t ask for help even if it were ‘the end’ of the Earth because asking for help is the hardest thing for me to do in the entire world and by the time I’ve asked for help then I’m not asking for help personally for me rather it’s for another close person to me or close to our friends and such an individual happens to be dying with some horrible disease that’s incurable like prostate cancer, as an example from life.

(How dare my friend state the obvious? My tremendously intelligent and smart male friend who’s a mechanical engineer doesn’t have a clue as to how to speak to me about ‘race’ or Minnesota’s ‘racist’ culture thus he came out and clumped me with the label of “Nigger” because I’m a tourist in our own town and my closest friends live either in New York City or Boston or Los Angeles or San Francisco.)

No, I didn’t get insulted only slightly did I have a violent imaginary reaction to a combination of sexual desire and violence. (That’s not ever happened before.)

I’ve been told that it’s common to have one’s mind (at times) wonder and think sexually and violently about imaginary thoughts about our friends. (Okay.)

Real life’s ever more ‘juicier’ than soap operas.

Yes, I love the opera.

The opera makes me want to become much more sensual and more intelligent a human.

*****

“‘…A “Nigger,”’” my close friend continued to inform me.

“‘If you will,’” he said, “ ‘and because of that reason, alone, you will be “shunned” and “ostracized” until seven generations of your offspring contribute to ‘this’ land and ‘this’ place called Minnesota then we’ll include ‘yours-in,’ until then you’re to ‘live-and-die’ a lonely existence like ‘every’ ‘other’ modern ‘lonely’ Minnesotan does live a lonely existence with their ‘five’ ‘best friends’ and ‘no one’ else because Minnesotans refuse to socialize beyond their five best friends. You, my friend, are a “foreigner” therefore a “Nigger” from our Minnesotan point of view, and you’ll ‘live-and-die’ a lonely life-and-death because Minnesotans are both “bitter” and “stupid” and we want you to feel as “badly” as we do. We refuse to ‘reach out’ to you as our ‘most trust worthy’ friend even though we know, that reaching out to you would be ‘the best thing that could ever happen to us’ because ultimately we’re in love with your beauty and brains yet we’re stubborn creatures and wish to hurt you as much as we hurt...’”

(Ouch!

As my friend spoke rapid English words I turned deeply shy and wished to run away yet it was my friend who drove and I was stuck at his driving mercy. He’s driven all over the United States of America thus he knows his way around a stick shift.)

Rigidly, I straightened my back out.

I sat up with my back like a rod went through my spine and held my royal ‘blue blooded’ posture to its maximum and my Minnesotan (non-sexual) male friend could sense my power pumping through my veins and oozing out of my pours.

My Caucasian male friend in his early forties understood what I meant and nothing more needed to be said between us thus we rode in silence for a long while I listened to him breathe out of his smoker’s lungs.

My friend’s engine purred.

My friend smoothly drove through the backstreets of Minneapolis while I silently got to sight see. He left me alone to my quiet devices and we lingered in a spectacle of bright lights and a slight October 2014 cold chill twilight breeze.

“You’re really a ‘tourist’ in this town, aren’t you?” My friend asked.

My friend looked straight at the road and silently I nodded.

“Sometimes, you’re, too, quiet for me, and I wonder what type of judgment you’re making about me.”

My close and personal friends understand that when I speak then my speech only means that which I personally mean to convey something “private” and “intimate” between friends who know and understand me as a close sister after five or more years of close and intimate friendship since (July 2009-November 2014.)

**********

No, I’m not a “slut” of any type nor have I ever been.

No, my favorite color isn’t “yellow.”

Yes, one of my Prom dates was ‘high’ on heroin and I didn’t know what to do with his living and breathing body. (No, my date didn’t die although I ought to have strangled him that night for being such a deceitful bitch.)

Yes, I love Poetry because it gets me closer to the Gods and my own human sexuality as well as to nature.

Yes, when I’ve ‘made love’ to the very “few” and “seldom” men that I’ve ever made love to (in my life) (2002-2005) I considered the possibility of marrying each and every one of them, however. (No such luck.)

At that time (2002-2005), my two particular best Twin Cities male (Caucasian) friends (who we’ve not once had sex with each other, not once) in either their late twenties or early forties refused to marry me when I plain ‘came out’ and asked them, “Will you marry me?” (2005.)

Yes, I only asked two (2) of my best Twin Cities, St. Paul, Metro Area male friends to marry me (it’s not like I asked the whole world to marry me) who said nothing (for the longest time) and took my ‘proposal of marriage’ as something of a “joke.” Well, we haven’t spoken since (2005, 2011, and 2012).

Funny joke, it all turned out to be because my two (2) cowardly best male friends’ best friend ([housemate at the time that I moved to the Twin Cities (2004-2005) right after my former love died (their best friend) I did indeed ask my other two (2) former male friends’ hand in marriage within the year of my former love’s death;])

Yes, we held a secret romantic relationship that neither one of the other two men knew anything about yet my love died and passed away and that’s always difficult to contend with when no one else knows the deep connection that one had with the departed because, of course, everyone’s always best friends with the deceased more so than when they were alive yet that was the case with me and I couldn’t say anything at his funeral because women would’ve been angry as hell to find out that certain aspects of our relationship were deeply intertwined with not allowing for any one else into our relationship to mess it up because we’d fallen madly in love with each other even though we fought and didn’t get along.

When my love died I asked his two best friends for their hand in marriage and neither one of the men were happy with such prospects thus to this day in their forties (40’s) and fifties (50’s) my two former best friends are now ‘single’ and “bitter” and “mean” and hate women thus they masturbate with other men when they get together and watch male porn. (Okay.)

No, I’m not the ‘only’ one who learned to become “bitter” and “hateful” as of this fall 2014.

Yes, I’ve been informed by cultural experts that for the most part “Minnesotans” are as “bitter” and “mean” and “cruel” a race as they ever were therefore to stay far away from the Minnesotans as it is humanly possible. (So I do.)

(Little do my present Minnesota male friends know that I’m more sexually attracted to white Minnesotan men than any other race of men on Earth except that…)

**********

“I’m in love with you,” Said a former close male friend over the phone. “I’m coming to find you. I’ve crossed state lines.”

Yes, I sat down and held my breath while he spoke a mile a minute. I didn’t know how to tell him to turn around and go home.

No, I wasn’t ‘in love’ with my former Minnesota male friend.

My friend gave me an utmost upsetting ultimatum and said to me, “Either you become Muslim and marry me or not.”

Yes, I decided the latter.

No, I didn’t desire to become a ‘trapped’ woman by a man who’d been a kid who’d brought a gun to school at the end of the seventh (7^th) grade year (correction.)

*****

Yes, I’ve dodged many romantic bullets in my lifetime.

Yes, I’m delicate as a ‘tea cup’ and somewhat physically fragile as well thus I didn’t like romantic bullshit from cowards when I was young.

Yes, I’m made of muscle and understand the intricacies of poetic motion.

Yes, perhaps it’s the Anne Rice's novels that 'turn me on' or past male friendships filled with white (Caucasian) males who’ve told me by verbatim, “I want to throw you hard up against something and push my way in.”

Ha, who says that to another human?

No, I haven’t allowed myself to be thrown up against anything, yet, because I’m not a man with a ‘hard-on.’

My former lovers were able to exude vast volumes of wet moisture.

Yes, when I think about “erotica” and actual organic sexual encounters then I think about how lucky I’ve been to have exclusive and fantastic male sexual partners who made me ‘cum’ like no other.

No, I shan’t be coy.

Yes, I’m thirty seven (37) years of age and I know what a tremendously fantastic orgasm feels like.

Yes, I’ve spent twenty plus some years hiding from the very fact that I’ve wanted to write about “sex” or “sexuality” for about two decades, however, I haven’t had the courage until my distant cousin reached out to convey that I could be strong as any other writer and write about wet juicy sex.

Yes, I’m ever so scared to write about wet sex because life’s ever so much more complex than sex or sexual arousal.

There’s so much more going on than sex alone and we all know that to be the truth.

*****

No, I’m not ‘wet’ at this initial moment.

Yes, it’s Eric who can and does physically ‘turn’ me ‘on.’

Yes, my sexuality depends upon the ideals of my husband.

Yes, I like to sexually please my husband.

Yes, I grew up in a subservient culture in which the women please the men.

No, in my subservient culture little girls didn’t ‘put out’ or have sex with adult men because taking care of others also means taking care of oneself.

Yes, there were many men throughout many aspects of my life that I wish I could’ve lain down with, however. They were either cowards or had serious emotional issues and couldn’t ask me on a date even though that’s all such men wished from me yet we couldn’t communicate about anything at all.

*****

No, I’m not a ‘slut.’

Hardly.

(Yes, I only wish that I’d been a ‘slut’ in my younger years, however.

No, I don’t condone young women being ‘sluts’ in any way, shape or form because women are emotional creatures and get emotionally attached to their sexual partners while men don’t usually get emotionally attached unless it’s the hot girl of their dreams come to give them the orgasm of their lives on their knees…)

No, it’s not like I don’t get ‘turned on’ by the world of men.

Yes, I’m a highly sexual being as most INFJ’s are.

Yes, I have my ‘ideal’ human male in mind.

No, I don’t love anyone else other than Eric.

Yes, I can imagine ‘mad hot sex’ with anyone other than my husband and that’s what keeps me ever so loyal.

No, I’m not sure about other people and their loyalty to their partners, however.

Yes, I’m loyal to the end or until the relationship’s over.

Yes, my closest girlfriends’ know that there’re always other men ready to propose marriage to me even though I’m already married.

Yes, men have been proposing marriage to me ever since I’ve been about twenty one (21) the summer of 1998.

Yes, at twenty three (23) years of age in the summer of 1999, I ought to have settled down with a fifty year old (at that time) and had ‘mad sex’ and lived together and made the best of it all, however. I was too shy and he knew it, and he couldn’t ‘draw’ me ‘out’ enough, to take off one single sock therefore he never saw me naked even though that’s all that I ever wanted from him to see me naked.

In those days, I thought about the one intellectual man who wanted my body and brains and all he wanted was my sexual intellectual being and I couldn’t bring myself to have sex with him because I was ever so shy.

*****

(Corrections were made.)

At that time (2001-2003), I also had three (3) other romantic interested parties who proposed marriage to me (we weren’t sexual partners simply we loved each other.)

One of my former romantic partners had recently gotten married and he confessed his “undying” love for me and I almost slapped him across the mouth for making both of us ever so miserable at the unwise decisions he made with his life and not to so much as ever or once did he have the wisdom or ability to approach me with his love so that I might decide what I wanted for myself as a choice in the matter.

My former romantic love ran as far away from me as possible to teach me a lesson about attachment although soon he discovered that it was I who taught the harsh lessons about attachment because for me to make any type of connection’s almost nearly impossible simply due to my personality type (thus it’s any wonder that I’m so lucky in friendships.)

One night we ran into one another after three (3) years of absence without so much as a word only to have my best male friend approach me, and in public, and in front of my best female friend told me that ever since my freshmen year of high school and his sophomore year of high school that he’d been in love with me and that the only woman that he thought about while he walked down the aisle to his own wedding was me.

(I did almost get violent with my best male friend because I’d loved him ever since the eighth grade. We concealed our romantic love from the rest of the school because we grew up in a nosy and stupid era of gossips.)

Yes, instead of becoming violent, I further withdrew from myself and barely breathed because it was news to me that my ‘secret’ best male friend had been ‘head over heels in love’ with me even though he’d been an ultra-preppy and captain of the football team and I a ‘bookworm’ and speedskater. (Our world’s hardly ever crossed.)

Yes, we were madly in love with each other even though no one else at the school ever found out that we were friends because we kept it a secret for our entire stay there yet not once did we have sexual intercourse with one another.

He told me that he’d not ever forget that he made the mistake of his life by not marrying me.

He told us (my girlfriend was sitting right there) that he realized that he was in love with me that day that he took up golf his sophomore year of high school when I was only a freshmen and naïve to the world at large.

He also told us (my girlfriend was sitting right there) that he’d been in love with me ever since he saw me in the seventh grade and hadn’t had the courage to tell me that.

Yes, I was barely breathed or said anything because I became angry by the fact that my best male friend had made a desperate mistake and married a girl he hardly knew over me. (Life.)

Almost on his knees, my ‘secret’ best male friend came to me and asked for forgiveness because he knew that by not marrying me that he’d made one of the loneliest mistakes to begin with.

How terrible to start out life in a lonely marriage and terribly in love with another woman that he’d a chance with yet got into a stupid fight over some stupid fear about attachment in our early twenties so he “showed me” and ran away and stayed away and came back married. (That deserved a slap across the face and he knew it.)

Why one wouldn’t approach their beloved one and have the courage to tell them how they felt about them?

My dearest and best friend knew that by the tenth grade when he joined golf that we were madly in love with one another, yet, we made it a point not to ever speak to each other during school hours even though we went out of our way to hold each other every single chance we had even though my other publically known best male friend by the same name was controlling and cruel and emotionally abusive and also in love with me (he confessed his love and also asked me to marry him) yet slept with every woman within a two hundred (200) mile radius and I knew it. (What’s a girl to do?) Nothing.

Yes, I held a ‘private’ and ‘public’ best friend, as always.

My ‘secret’ best male friend would do this one thing, that I fell in love with in which when the hallways were clear and no one was looking then I’d run down the hallway and my friend would catch me right below my buttocks and hold me high above and over his head.

He’d hold me in a cheerleading pose and I’d exhale with complete and sheer happiness that he could hold me up over his head with his hands and arms wrapped around my upper thighs as I went lightheaded from his power to hold up my body weight as he held me around the buttocks and I slid down his body. (Pure joy.)

(What more is there to say? Absolutely nothing.)

No, my ‘secret’ former romantic love and I didn’t have sexual intercourse even when we jumped into bed together at the age of twenty two (22) (summer 1999.) (We only ‘made out.’)

We ‘made out’ and went our separate ways until my ‘secret’ best male friend found me and approached me and told me that even though he was married that he’d always and forever be secretly in love with me. I abruptly left and cried in the parking lot of the Brew House (2002.)

No, I’m not brain damaged.

Not in the least.

Love’s all about chemicals and chemistry.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,500

Word Count: 5,261

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 5,261

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #268 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #20 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #4 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #4 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four (24”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Friday, November 14, 2014

“Charity knows neither face nor creed.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Plebeian (common, vulgar, pertaining to common people)

His plebeian habits made him unfit for aristocratic society.

--- --- ---

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 33

Being Natural.

Young men should content themselves with being natural. Let them present themselves with a modest assurance; Let them observe, hear and examine, and before long they will rival their models.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,000 personal journals

Word Count: 109

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 10,021

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #265 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #17 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #3 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #3 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty five (25”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Thursday, November 13, 2014

“The greatest charity is to enable the poor to earn a living.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Plenitude (abundance, fullness, plenty)

He received the plenitude of power with his new appointment.

--- --- ---

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 32-33

Social Connections.

The desire of pleasing is, of course, the basis of social connection. Persons who enter society with the intension of producing an effect, and of being distinguished, however clever they may be, are never agreeable. They are always tiresome, and often ridiculous. Persons, who enter life with such pretensions, have no opportunity for improving themselves and profiting by experience. Indeed, they look only for the effect which they produce, and with that they are not often gratified. They trust themselves into all conversations, indulge in continual anecdotes, which are varied only by dull disquisitions, listen to others with impatience and heedlessness, and are angry that they seem to be attending to themselves. Such persons go through scenes of pleasure, enjoying nothing. They are equally disagreeable to themselves and others.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Clothes

(2004-2014)

“‘Okay,’” My Father used to say, “‘so let’s talk about it.’”

We grew up in a household in which at any given appropriate point anybody could introduce any former or new subject matter and place the subject up for discussion.

Of course, we’re taught to ask the other person when they’d possibly make time to discuss X, Y, and Z. (Of course.)

We’re given the freedom to speak freely and directly and as truthfully as possible and stay safe and have fun as general rules to life and in relationship to other immediate family members and those around us.

Both strict ethical and moral rules were upheld in our household, for the most part other than… (Nothing sexual, only, non-sexual parental disrespect that created catastrophic effect in the lives of their beloved children.)

Our Father taught us to talk about things and get over them and move on.

Moving forward.

*****

The New Year’s upon us.

Wow.

2015.

Can you imagine it?

Where did 2014 go?

Oh, my!

2015.

Let’s talk clothes.

Yes, I very much look forward to an entirely new year filled with possibilities for more development and psychological and intellectual strength and spiritual growth and excellent health and serenity and good will and good cheer ‘to all.’

Yes, I look forward to studying about new fashions and styles no matter how angry fashion designers might be at modern private citizens and our personal viewpoint about clothes as “protective” gear for women and men and children, alike.

Personally, I love soft feminine clothes that don’t drape too low or ever show my cleavage or buttocks or vagina.

Yes, I like material that doesn’t drape over my face (if I can help it, scarves are different.)

Yes, I like feeling ever so comfortable in my clothes that…

Yes, I’ve run out of ideas for what new fashions to add to my new wardrobe as of August 2014.

Yes, October 2014, we completely cleared out both of our wardrobe and donated or reused our former or previous wardrobe dated as far back as (2004-2014).

Finally, we got rid of the last one (1) decade’s fashions and let go of the past. (Whew! Let’s all take a moment to breathe.)

Yes, we even gave each other the permission to donate new ‘never wore before’ clothes with the tags still on them because as hard as we tried, no matter how many pounds we shed, certain cuts or articles of clothing looked awful on us, no matter what we did, so we let go of them forevermore.

(Some clothes look better on hangers.)

Yes, we’ve got the bare essentials in our wardrobe right now.

Ever so excited with four (4) “Armani” t-shirts I’ve been rotating around ever since August 2014.

Yes, I own one (1) pair of “dress up” jeans dark blue stiff denim with deep pockets (so that my belongings don’t fall out of my front pockets as soon as I sit down, (‘straight leg,’)) two (2) pairs of corduroys (‘boot cut’), seven (7) sweaters, nine (9) pairs of wool socks, one (1) formal coat, one (1) down coat, two (2) hats, one (1) pair of gloves, one (1) pair of mittens, three (3) winter scarves and other miscellaneous items.

Yes, I’m without a single suit coat jacket right now and it’s ‘bugging’ me, however, it’s ever so tough to find a spectacular suit coat jacket that fits well around and on top of the shoulders and fully across the bust and ‘hugs’ the waist like a man’s full embrace that can and does hold up a ribcage in place.

Oh, what I’d do for a spectacular ‘ready to wear’ ‘off the rack’ suit jacket, however, that’s almost an impossible reality.

(Maybe, it’ll happen in the year 2015. Maybe. Keep fingers crossed.)

Yes, I’ve got one (1) ‘pencil skirt’ just purchased August (2014.)

Yes, I’ve got one (1) dark forest green pleated corduroy skirt that I keep because it’s the most perfect comfortable summer skirt with a t-shirt thrown on. (Bam. Done. Walk the dog.) (The real down side: that beautiful skirt doesn’t have any pockets.)

No, I haven’t purchased a dress that I’ve liked in years or maybe ever.

So you see, I’m considered (‘large-frame’) petite as well as naturally larger breasted thus finding clothes is almost a complete nightmare because even though my shoulders and arms and bones are (large-frame) petite built, I’ve got some ‘meat on my bones’ to work with such as my cup size or breast size and some other slight curves, although not many.

As of late October 2014, I purchased two new undergarment tops, size “large” because my cup size is substantial even though my back and ribcage are small in comparison to other masses.

Yes, I wear a “small” in “Armani” tops.

For some reason, finding clothes that fit well’s difficult to do. It’s almost a full time job thus I’m rotating the same four (4) or five (5) outfits this fall and winter season 2014-2015.

Yes, what a conundrum; cash in my pocket and nothing much to purchase when it comes to clothes because clothes ‘off the rack’ are tough to match in actual body size.

Yes, I wish clothes would fit ever so beautifully because then I could really get into clothes once more. I’m a preppy at heart. I love clothes with a passion thus I stay away from making clothes my hobby otherwise I’d either have to jump into the fashion industry or ‘break the bank’ and since I’ll do neither of those two options then as a ‘laymen’ private citizen I’m a bit stuck with whatever ungodly nightmare ‘comes off’ the racks in department stores.

Yes, I promise that one of these days I’ll learn how to thread a needle through a sewing machine and ‘work it.’

Yes, when I sleep, I dream about composing musical notes or sewing tailored creations to my liking. I could drool at the types of clothes I only wish existed today.

*****

Yes, of course, I get ‘turned on’ by clothes.

No, I don’t get ‘turned on’ by clothes in such a way that I desire to tear off a shirt off of someone and ‘hump’ their shirt. No.

(That would be very wrong.)

Yes, I get ‘turned on’ by well made clothes in the sense that when my skin touches certain materials then I get literal goose bumps that travel up and down my arms, and I get lost in a slightly short microsecond moment of my life, and instead of having an orgasm, I delight in the sheer physicality of comfort and joy because that’s amazing that material can make a human feel so good and so close as to permit such a heightened elevated human connection to one’s objects. (That translated.)

No, my clothes don’t ever give me an orgasm. (Thank goodness.)

No, my clothes don’t give me orgasms nor should my clothes do so because I leave that privilege to Eric.

No, I don’t think that people are ‘sexy’ because mostly when people try to be ‘sexy’ they tend to come across as ridiculous.

Yes, I do find clothing to be just as ‘sexy’ as fast and expensive cars. I like that idea that objects can be considered ‘sexy’ without ‘putting on airs’ or farting or vomiting or bad breath or sweat.

Yes, there’s something ‘sexy’ about freshly new purchased and first time washed and newly worn clothes without much of a mark or wrinkle on them.

Clothes don’t ‘put on’ much of an act.

Clothes don’t come out and say, “Wanna?”

(As in: ‘Want to go’ and have sexual intercourse or ‘get laid’ or fuck.)

*****

“Clothes do make or break the man.”

There’s something about good looking clothes that catches the eye.

There’s something extraordinary and powerful in beautifully and well tailored and well put together clothes.

There’s something about a man in sharp modern suits dressed for the opera or an expensive evening out that makes a woman order ‘whatever’ she’s having.

There’s something about a man in his shiny black shoes and dark light wool charcoal black designer suit that offsets the dusk twilight from the dark grey colors of pollution gathered around his feet like a slight ‘smog’ fog bellowing off of the streets’ orange dusk light as the sun sets behind a man’s narrow shoulders while limited rays of light seep through open regions between the man’s arms down by his sides welcoming the world into an entirely new era of modernized ideas.

There’s nothing like a man in a fast car that follows all of the road rules and let’s pedestrians go first.

Good and beautifully stitched clothes are no different than a refined car engine or musical instrument.

*****

Yes, I’m glad that I haven’t ever gotten into lingerie because I think that lingerie would be fun and expensive.

Again, I wouldn’t want to make lingerie one of my hobbies, or I’d spend ‘a pretty penny.’

Nevertheless, I can understand how women go out of their way to spend large amounts of money on lingerie. Lingerie is one of those articles of clothing that either makes or breaks a human body or shape.

Lingerie is like wearing a bikini.

Either it ‘sticks’ or it doesn’t.

Either a bikini looks good or doesn’t.

Primarily, I stay away from lingerie because the small sheer fabric material doesn’t seem to cover much, and it’s way, too, cold in the winter to put on some weird ‘sexy’ act when it’s not working at all in the first place primarily because wool socks are as sexy as our winters get.

No, I don’t own any lingerie or a bikini.

*****

When you think about it, parents really don’t teach their offspring much about clothes unless the parents have time and are mindful to teach their children.

Clothes are of the essence because clothes will mostly always be a necessity.

It’s important to teach one’s children to wear comfortable clothes that will stay on their bodies and wear well.

It’s important to teach youngsters to properly attire themselves for their days.

Yes, it was always the ‘best put together’ children that made an impression on me as a kid because it was ever so rare to come across a perfectly well put together kid until about when we reached junior high or so.

Yes, there’s a lot to be said for the confidence and integrity of children especially when children’s’ parents teach their children well about materials and cut and style or fashion.

One can’t ever go wrong with a classic style or cut because such designs are more or less ageless and wear well on most body types thus classics are mostly favorites in most people’s wardrobe.

Its fun to see children move well and feel comfortable and confident in their clothes because then the entire Universes are open to children to learn wisdom and creation and facts and evidence and science and mathematics.

*****

Unfortunately, I’m not able to write the name of the brand of the latest winter boot I just purchased (October 2014) because such a brand is one of my favorites, however, not for winter boots, or at least not this year’s model, anyway.

Now, the latest winter boot I just purchased looks ever so deliciously beautiful over online (internet) pictures.

Nevertheless, when I put the boots on this morning to walk outside for the first time ever as I walked out to leave the house, I noticed that the widest part of my foot was too tight inside the boot, thus I turned around, came back, and took off my (thicker than normal) wool socks and went without socks, however, with a temperature of nineteen (19) degrees early this morning my feet were instantly cold in November winds. (Burr.)

The ultimate problem with the boot is that the top of the foot’s ever too narrow and the heel pulls up-and-down when I walk, and the rest of the boot shaft, all the way, right to below my knee, the material is flimsy, and the boot shaft doesn’t tend to ‘stand up’ all on its own.

Also and furthermore, there’s one bungee draw cord string on each of the boots at the top of the shaft that leaves marks on the back of my calves however it’s the only way to keep the darn boots from piling around my ankles because the boot shaft lacks frame so the boot slides down like an old pair of 1930’s stockings.

Yes, I’d like my one hundred and thirty ($130.00) dollars back, however, I already took the tags off yesterday so most likely I’ll donate the darn boots along with other clothes that I already purchased over the years and won’t wear because the clothes don’t quite fit right for me.

*****

Yes, I spent the months of September and October 2014 purchasing boots online (internet) and returning the boots for some reason or other.

Mostly this year’s women’s winter boots are made with some type of cheap cork-like material or suede, and such materials as soon as they get wet then they soak up cold frozen snow water that seeps deep into the regions of the boot creating a cold wall of discomfort right up against the flesh and toes eventually creating frostbite and other lifelong skin discomforts or conditions.

The problem with many of the women’s latest winter boots are that some boots might weigh as much or as little as five (5) pounds and that’s a lot of pounds to trek around on one’s feet.

It’s a wonder when super warm and toasty light-weight boots will be made for women and introduced to the market at comparable prices.

Imagine the possibilities.

*****

Yes, I purchased two winter hats as of this fall 2014.

One winter hat isn’t the most attractive hat however it’s warm and well stitched or yarned or crocheted or whatever. I love it.

We purchased my ‘ugly’ winter hat September 2014. I bought it in Moose Lake and the hat’s keeping me warm so far this winter.

The second hat, that we purchased in October 2014, looks like a ‘Russian fur trader hat,’ however the ‘fur’ on my hat’s fake animal fur.

Yes, I love the ‘Russian (fake-animal) fur trapper hat,’ however, when I tried it out for the first time this weekend, I quickly realized that the “box” shaped hat wasn’t perfectly squared so the hat wouldn’t properly stay on top of my head, and kept slighting forward and covering my eyes. I didn’t like that, and must now donate the hat to someone who might fit into it better than I did.

Oh, the story about clothes.

One can go out there into the world and purchase twenty (20) articles of clothing, and if one’s lucky enough to be granted peace by the fashion Gods then just maybe one (1) item will fit well enough otherwise throughout the year we simply purchase clothes and give them away (donate) because clothes mainly made in China don’t fit Americans well (which we hardly ever purchase Chinese made clothes if we can help it), however, we keep purchasing foreign made clothes because Americans have very little option to purchase anything other than Chinese made ‘everything’ which we don’t agree with how the Chinese government or corporations don’t have laws in place to protect their workers.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,803

Word Count: 2,904

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 10,021

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #264 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #16 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #3 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #3 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty five (25”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

--- --- ---

Personal Note:

As of this morning, my talk-therapist informed me, that after three (3) months of attending talk-therapy, that I don’t have to see him anymore, if I don’t want to, however, I’ve decided to commit to therapy from September 2014-September 2015 to do some self improvement and gather more wisdom and learn and mature further.

Even though as of this morning, I was informed that I don’t need any further therapy I’ve decided that therapy has been so good for me in the past three months that what the ‘heck?’

Yes, I’ll continue to attend therapy because it makes me feel good and I learn a lot about how to better problem solve and how to control my emotions and get closer to that ever so lovely human that I am.

Yes, I give therapy full credit for making me a much stronger person this fall and getting me back on track, finding my voice and in helping me make the right decision to fire my ‘bully’ main medical practitioner as of this week.

Yes, I feel hopeful and capable of doing great things with my life.

No, I’m not swinging from braches.

However, I’m gleeful.

My therapist informs me that nothing’s mentally wrong with me.

Oh, I’m so happy.

Simply happy and smiling that everything worked out okay in the end.

All’s well.

End’s well.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

“To shut one’s eye to charity is like worshipping idols.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Palaver (idle talk, excessive talk)

Irked by the palaver of his roommate he went to a movie.

--- --- ---

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 32-33

The Good Will of Women.

A young man entering society cannot be too attentive to conciliate the good will of women. Their approbation and support will serve him instead of a thousand good qualities. Their judgment dispenses with fortune, talent and even intelligence.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Winter Food

The third week in February 2014, I personally gave up on organic and non organic chips and ‘puffs’ and organic microwaveable popcorn and other miscellaneous snacks.

Now that we’re making our way through November 2014, finally, I’ve begun to miss any ‘crunchy’ snack of some type. I’m contemplating adding a simple and healthy and nutritious cracker that’ll fill me up and won’t add on the extra pounds or calories.

Yes, we’ve switched to mainly all non GMO foods when it comes to our household pantry.

(No, I’m not sure about any of the research, however. We’d rather be safe than sorry.)

*****

Yes, I’m still in shock and awe that I lived in denial all these years about how “obese” I’d become (on and off) over the past twenty years, mainly the last three years.

How did I go from one hundred and sixty four (164 lbs) pounds last September 2013 to one hundred and forty nine (149 lbs) pounds, all ready as of October 2014?

Did I really not realize how much weight I carried on my body?

What’s it about denial that makes us ‘look the other way’ and not want to deal with that which’s right in front of us?

Yes, I thought I looked ‘okay’ or “good” even at one hundred and sixty four (164 lbs) pounds, however, that information can neither be true nor accurate because I feel much better at one hundred and forty nine (149 lbs) pounds than I ever had at one hundred and sixty four (164 lbs) pounds.

Yes, it’s taken time to get used to this new lightweight.

What was it that kept me in denial about my body “fat” content or “obese” body mass index count?

The only reason why I don’t wish to be considered “obese” at one hundred and sixty four (164 lbs) pounds is because at one hundred and forty nine (149 lbs) pounds I’m considered “overweight.”

Yes, when I reach my weight goal of one hundred and thirty seven (137 lbs) pounds then my weight will be considered “regular.”

Yes, the last twelve (12) pounds seem to be the most difficult to ‘take off.’

Yes, as of the recent six weeks it’s been more difficult to lose weight than it’s been for the past eight (8) months and I do wonder if my weight plateau has anything to do with quitting cigarettes. (Not that I’d ever recommend a cigarette habit to keep off those extra pounds.)

Yes, I’m dealing with a lot of new changes to my nutritional intake as well as lifestyle changes in general as well as dealing with health changes and change in main medical practitioner for the first time in two years.

Yes, I’m keeping my stress level low.

Yes, we’re sleeping ten hours per night.

Yes, we’re making time to catch up and relax together.

Yes, I’ve added about five (500) hundred extra calories to my nutritional intake so that my body stops thinking that it’s in “starvation mode” all the time.

Yes, we’ll “control our emotions” no matter how much pain I might be in at certain times of the days or weeks or months or years. (May the Gods be with us. We leave it up to the Gods.)

No, we’re neither on any Oxycontin nor have I been on any since October 2013.

*****

Yes, I’d like to find out more about vegan cooking.

Yes, some of my closest and dearest friends have been vegan eaters since 1992 or 1993 or 1994 or 1995 or 1996.

Yes, I know a lot about vegan food however, personally, I don’t prepare vegan food, myself.

Yes, when one finds great vegan pies or pastries or foods or breads then it’s difficult to want anything else.

As of late, I’ve been dreaming about vegan muffins.

Since, yesterday was “Veteran’s Day” then I might just ‘run out’ and purchase vegan muffins for this weekend and celebrate with our feet up while we catch up on television programming.

Yes, I’d like to learn to prepare more vegan foods.

Yes, it’s fine to ‘run out’ and purchase already made vegan dishes. (How posh of anyone.)

Yes, it’s easier to purchase vegan food when one lives near such an establishment that provides such options.

It’s easier to purchase vegan good when one lives near an establishment that nourishes healthy ‘alternative’ food options for their community members.

Yes, I wish that there was a community owned and run food ‘Co-Op’ near where we live, however, no such luck.

Since, we don’t live within walking distance to a “Co-Op” anymore then we tend to cook more vegan dishes at home with a side dish of no hormone and grass fed buffalo as a meat protein ‘alternative’ substance in case we get too hungry and can’t live on water vegetables alone.

Yes, I’d like to learn how to make dynamite vegan food for our pleasure and enjoyment right here in the comfort of our own home.

Yes, vegan’s been all the rage since the 1960’s.

Yes, I love to eat healthy food because after a while I can’t even remember what it’s like to eat badly.

Once anybody gets into the healthy habit of eating well then one’s cravings automatically turn to healthier options than bad ones such as ‘fast food’ or ‘high fat contend’ foods or ‘soda’ that’ll stick to one’s waist and not leave forevermore unless otherwise exercised off.

Yes, I love healthy food options yet more so precisely I love healthy options with low calorie content and tasty and delicious all at the same time as well as made with ‘real’ ingredients and not substitutes.

*****

Aside from the fact that I live with a hormone imbalance that which ‘tricks’ my body into believing that my body’s pregnant when it’s not; Aside from that very fact that for about ten years I haven’t been able to regulate my metabolism: Aside from that very fact: How did I allow for myself to become so “obese?”

Well, let’s talk about it.

Yes, I’m ever so lucky as to walk away with my life intact.

When people are “obese” for long periods of time then they run a higher risk for all sorts of cancers, and lumps, and benign tumors, and lifelong lasting diabetes and, and, and.

“Obesity” complicates the health cycle of any human.

It’s of the essence that Americans slim down in the year 2015-2016 and stay slim for life.

It’s of the essence that Americans eat whatever they want only less of it by fifty (50%) percent.

We used to consume four (4) cookies per daily nutritional intake.

We became disgusted with the mere thought to give up our ‘God-given right’ to fulfillment and liberty and ‘damn it’ if we weren’t going to eat to our heart’s content each and every single one of our four daily cookies thus we did as we watched our waistline expand and stay there for about three (3) straight solid years.

For years, I begged Eric to please quit eating sugar with me and finally he agreed to that as of this February 2014.

It’s difficult to consume absolutely no sugar in a sugar ‘crazed’ society although it’s quite possible to live a fulfilling life without sugar.

It’s difficult to consume absolutely no sugar in a sugar ‘crazed’ society that only offers ‘sugar cancer filled alternatives’ through the mass consumption of more sugar then one ‘can shake a stick at.’

Yes, personally, I want to believe that because we quit eating sugar that we can make a difference in the overall healthy and high quality of lifestyle over the long term.

Yes, personally, I want to believe that because we quit eating sugar then we won’t die some terrible God-fearing slow death as some deadly cancer travels from bone to brains and chokes the daily life out of patients as one slowly watches our beloved ones wither and decay before our very own eyes.

Yes, personally, I want to believe that because we made a strong commitment to not eat sugar for the long duration (lifetime) and the long haul that we’re indeed strong enough to endure and to do well by each other so that we might live to be old healthy and happy people.

*****

Yes, I’m astounded that I let myself get ever so “obese” at one hundred and sixty four (164 lbs) pounds from 2011-2014.

Yes, I’m ever so grateful that all of our hard work’s finally paid off and we’re down fifteen (15) pounds in eight (8) months.

Yes, I think we’ll make it the rest of the way and lose another twelve (12) pounds (within the next five (5) months) which means that when we lose all of our goal weight then we’ll weigh less than we did when we were eighteen (18) years old and that’s significant because that hasn’t happened since August of 2006 when I weighed one hundred and forty (140 lbs) pounds.

Yes, I’m sure that stress has a lot to do with ‘packing on’ and ‘hanging onto’ the pounds over the years.

Yes, I’m no longer fighting Eric so that he might learn to cook and carry his half of the domestic household responsibilities with chores and cleaning.

Yes, I changed as of today.

Yes, I got back on track with taking care of myself and watching out for me.

Yes, I’ve matured by leaps and bounds this fall 2014.

Yes, I found my voice again.

No, I’m not ‘out of control.’

Yes, no matter how much physical pain that I might be in, I shan’t ‘take out’ my pain on Eric or anybody else for that matter (which I usually don’t.)

Eric tells me, that people ‘fall in love’ with me as soon as they meet me. Let’s hope so because I’ve spent the past decade learning to live with pain that comes and goes.

Eric tells me, that as soon as people meet me, that they want to either get to know me better or spend more time with me or get close and that’s good because I’ve felt ever so far away from myself all these years those which I’ve spent living through some type of illness to another.

Eric tells me, that people naturally gravitate towards me.

Eric tells me, that I’m sweet.

Eric tells me, that when things are good between us, then they’re magnificent and that’s why he loves me.

Yes, I find myself exploring other more mature avenues to human adulthood other than the basics because when one lives with occasional physical pain then one must muster all of the courage to practice only kindness and good manners otherwise there’s always a metaphorical ‘punch in the nose’ and we wouldn’t want to instigate any type of violence for any reason at all.

Yes, I’ve finally become a woman and will hold my tongue and my pain back from showing in my eyes.

Yes, I finally arrived.

No, I shan’t ever ‘scream’ or ‘shout’ or get ‘angry’ because what’s the point? (There isn’t any point unless I’m personally being attacked.)

From now on when I mean “no” then that’s a “no.”

Yes, I refuse to get stressed out because my health’s on the line if I do.

Yes, I’m happier than I ever thought I could be with all of this new found knowledge and wisdom about myself.

No, I don’t want to be used by anybody anymore.

Yes, I’ve got a great deal of worth to my human person.

Yes, I love myself especially when others won’t.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,000

Word Count: 2,032

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 7,197

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #263 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #15 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #3 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #3 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty five (25”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

“We should be grateful

for the presence of rogues

among the poor;

for if not for them,

we would sin each time

we ignored an appeal for alms”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Palliate (to ease, reduce, soften)

The doctor gave him some medicine to palliate his suffering.

--- --- ---

Entrance Into Society:

Chapter 2.

Page 32

To become accepted in society, a young man must win the good will of the few ladies of assured position who are the ruling spirits in their charmed circle, and whose dictum determines the social standing of the young aspirant. It is of less importance to be in favor with the young girls who are themselves just entering society than with these older women, who can countenance whom they will and whose approbation and support will serve the novitiate better than fortune, talent or accomplishment.

--- --- ---

Source from Wikipedia:

Esoteric

Esotericism (or esoterism) signifies the holding of esoteric opinions or beliefs, that is, ideas preserved or understood by a small group of those specially initiated, or of rare or unusual interest. The term derives from the Greek, either from the comparative ἐσώτερος (esôteros), "inner", or from its derived adjective ἐσωτερικός (esôterikos), "pertaining to the innermost".

The term can also refer to the academic study of esoteric religious movements and philosophies, or to the study of those religious movements and philosophies whose proponents distinguish their beliefs, practices, and experiences from mainstream exoteric and more dogmatic institutionalized traditions.

Hello.

Happy Veteran’s Day!

Mythology

2014

Yes, as of late I’ve been contemplating: “Exoteric” as a topic to write about, however, I’ve no clue from which angle to write such a literary piece.

Yes, lately I’ve been contemplating many different topics of conversation as well as subject matter for discussion or debate.

Yes, there’s thousands of subject matter that I’d like to write about however I completely freeze.

Yes, I’m completely qualified and certified to speak or more precisely write about any subject matter that I wish to write about, however, I really don’t want to write the ‘wrong’ thing or ‘say’ the ‘wrong’ thing and create anymore chaos or aggression or hatred or distrust or argumentation or personal attacks against anyone individual.

Yes, as of late I’ve been getting more ‘heady’ and think “transient” thoughts.

No, I don’t usually think about “death.”

No, I don’t personally think about “suicide.”

Yes, I’m well. I’m healthy in mind, body, and spirit.

Yes, we’re well even though we ‘bicker.’

As of late I’ve been conducting a personal ‘research study’ about Egypt and will do so for about another twenty some years.

History makes me wonder if anything at all could’ve been done to more rapidly evolve the human race and get humans ‘jump started’ into something more intelligent ‘a’ “being” or “brains” or “wise spirit” or such.

History makes me wonder if anything at all could’ve been done to evolve the human race and get us ‘jump started’ into humans that are more intelligent yet passionate and considerate and compassionate and understanding and filled with empathy and live for kindness and ‘tough love’ and respect and truth and intuition and smartly direct energy or directly speak their truth, and, and, and…

*****

Yes, there’s something magical in the air at this time of year in this northern tundra.

Yes, Novembers are indeed magical months when the natural light changes, and cold sets in, and it’ll take many months until humans see signs of natural life bloom and blossom once again.

Yes, winter’s upon us and we must ‘close down the hatchets.’

Yes, at times, I get ‘nostalgic’ for certain foods or other ‘times of year’ or Holiday decorations or recipes that make me feel a certain way about a certain place in the mood bank of my memory.

Yes, these November months are ‘drenched’ in nostalgic magic.

Yes, these November months move ‘as slow as molasses.’

Yes, a new winter’s upon us.

These thoughts about “death” and “rebirth” are as common as the breath of our Ancestors’ nightly dreams.

There’s something about this time of year that makes me more so hopeful than ever before throughout the year to wait and witness another up-and-coming spring.

How delicious to hold such a courtly and well mannered relationship with the wild and harsh seasons as they come-and-go like clear sweet orange jelly spread across toast.

There’s something so definite about the dead leaves of fall.

Something intoxicatingly magnificent about dead leaves with hot bright yellows and oranges and browns and bright engine reds strewn across sidewalks and streets.

When we take walks across wet and soggy morning fall leaves, I don’t consider negative ten (-10 degrees) below zero yet I ought to.

There’s something ever so wistful about this time of year such as a ballerina’s pink tutu strewn across a dark grey clouded corn field blown by a strong gust of outdoor wind.

This time of year makes me want to hibernate until spring.

This time of year makes me want to draw the blinds early and make a cup of mate and call it a day.

This time of year makes me write emails to close and personal friends.

This time of year makes me look forward to Holiday food and drink.

No, I’m not a gluttonous little pig about any Holiday food.

Yes, I more or less eat like a bird or an Italian and once I get a taste for what I crave then it might as well be years until once again I must that one item that I hadn’t had for many previous years.

Right now, I don’t have too many cravings for too many things other than vegan zucchini carrot bread or vegan fruit muffins or a vegetable scramble or some rich Manhattan delicatessen desert at any corner deli.

*****

Yes, November months make me stop ‘cold in my tracks’ and consider the New Year ahead 2015-2016.

Like a child, I love the splendor of strong possibility in the little twinkling Holiday parade lights and bows and gift wrap.

The strong sensation of open and endless possibilities makes my ‘head spin’ with glee and happiness at the thought that another new year approaches.

Yes, I’m ever so grateful to make it through 2014 in one piece.

Personally, 2014 was one of my most difficult years of my adult life as I contended with a tooth ache from December 2013 through October 2014 from white fillings on one of my teeth.

What an odd and dark year 2014 turned out to be for me and us.

*****

No, I’m not sure why I’ve been thinking a lot about alien or extra terrestrial life forms as of late.

Normally, I don’t ever stop to consider extra terrestrial life forms, however, I must because many close and personal friends discuss “meditation” and I couldn’t be more against the practice of “meditation” in which one becomes ‘connected’ to other terrestrial life forms via “spiritual” antennae or “dimension” or “telepathy” or “intuition” and not all terrestrial life forms mean well to humans.

*****

No, I don’t personally believe in the literal translation of “green man” however I’m not foolish as to not to completely believe some aspects of storytelling natural wisdom.

Yes, I’m wise enough to believe in mythological creatures even though I believe in facts and evidence and science and mathematics above all other disciplines.

It was August of 2010 that I finally got the “green man” off my back. Finally, I shook him off.

Note: It must be noted that it took a bit more than a year to completely get over the “green man” and the impression he’d made upon me.

It took until November 2011 to ‘shake off’ such a rotten experience such as the “green man” and by the forth week of November 2014 I was in surgery. Period.

Yes, I carried the “green man” on my back from January 2001 through August of 2010. (And completely got over the “green man” by December 2011.)

Both the “green man” and I are well aware acquainted.

We intimately lived with one another as the “green man” took up space on my back and rode around like a little monkey.

The main aspect why I don’t personally like some personality traits about the “green man” is that he’s mainly selfish and self centered and a “trickster” and mean and cruel and sarcastic and cynical and manipulative and a liar and a thief and dishonest and, and, and…

The “green man” and I aren’t alike.

The “green man’s” impulsive and makes grave mistakes playing around with the very lives of humans and for that reason alone the “green man” and I don’t get along.

The “green man” stays as far away from me as possible because he knows very well that the last thing I am is “afraid” of him.

The “green man” knows perfectly well that I learned a most valuable lesson and wouldn’t for anything in the world invite him in because he’s difficult to get rid of once he decides to give any human a “mind fuck.”

A “mind fuck” is something that the “green man” conjures or manipulates or ‘cooks up’ and arranges or establishes or sets the ground work or foundation for failure and more failure and more failure and more failure through simplistic hoaxes like reoccurring terrible (literal) alcoholic neighbors or abusive neighbors or doctors that bully their patients or con artists who steal one’s ‘dough’ (American dollars, money.)

The “green man” will take every single shred of one’s dignity and destroy it to his satisfaction to teach humility and humility one shall learn.

The “green man’s” not the best looking of the entire bunch.

The “green man’s” green like ocean sea sickness.

The “green man” destroys ego and builds conscious.

*****

Yes, to this day, I’m still uncertain as to how the “green man” or I ever met.

Yes, to this day, I’m still uncertain as to how the “green man” jumped on my back and took the ride of his life.

Yes, to this day I’m still uncertain as to why I wasn’t able to ‘shake off’ the “green man” as hard as I tried.

Yes, the “green man” ‘jumps off’ when he’s good and ready and certain that one’s learned the lesson of pure “humility.”

Yes, I felt the moment the “green man” left my back.

The day I ‘shook off’ the “green man” was an early fall day (2010) and a white snowy owl made itself present on top of a light post while a friend spoke about waste and demanded that I tell him of Mayan ways.

The less I spoke then the angrier my friend got all upset with my lack to answer his intimate and forceful questions about some of the most theological and intimate meanings that mean most to me about the Mayan religion and spirituality and I couldn’t fit that type of knowledge or wisdom in ten minutes or an hour for that matter.

Yes, the less I gave into my friend during a difficult conversation then the “green man” literally climbed down and vanished and ran away through the backyard trees and into the street and away and gone forever. (I breathed. I let go. I was free.)

Yes, I wish I were smarter to have dealt with the “green man.”

No, I don’t believe that the “green man” and I shall ever meet again. (I get that deep feeling about it.)

Yes, I believe that the “green man” knows that I’d probably kick his rear end from here to Timbuktu and back again if he were ever to return again.

Yes, the “green man” knows that I don’t like him.

Yes, the “green man” knows that I don’t find him attractive.

No, the “green man” doesn’t hold anything over me or against me for that matter.

Yes, I intimately know the “green man” and realized early on that the “green man’s” lazy and somewhat foolish when it comes to doing absolutely nothing but ‘hitch a ride’ off of some poor innocent bystander.

Yes, the “green man’s” quite aware that the reason why I didn’t shake him off sooner is because I really didn’t understand his nature.

Yes, the “green man” made a much stronger woman out of me.

Yes, the “green man” taught me to hate and to be bitter.

Yes, the “green man” taught me to let go and forgive.

Yes, the “green man” taught me to self-love.

Yes, the “green man” hates humans thus he fools around with their lives and makes humans’ social lives a living hell.

No, for as long as I live I shan’t be afraid of folklore.

*****

By this time in my life I’ve lived through so many experiences and adversity and hardships and remarkable opportunities and reoccurring remarkable opportunities and successes and accomplishments that I’m simply happy to be alive.

By this time in my life I could die happy about how I lived my life and how I matured and came to be all that I am today.

By this time in my life I really don’t believe that any entity of any type will ‘hitch’ a ride and take over and bring ruin or chaos to my life.

By this time in my life I have total and full confidence that my ‘aura’ which as of late glows either “yellow” or “white” is finally at peace with herself and her life.

Yes, I give thanks and grace for all that we have and more importantly I give thanks for the good people we turned out to be.

No, I don’t personally know about other cross-cultural mythological creatures and their power to influence those very people outside of their immediate culture and terrain.

Yes, I think that it’s easier to cross paths with “cross-cultural” ‘dark forces’ when one resides in their country or origin that which powerful “dark” entities might overcome humans for a time and eventually that, too, shall come to pass as some strong lesson’s been begotten or learned or bestowed or gifted.

Yes, I think that sometimes dark forces enter our lives so that we might see more light and learn infinite wisdom.

No, I’m not sure what makes one person a true and real ‘victim’ over another when darker forces take over in one’s life for a duration or time or span.

Yes, personally I think that being out in nature and breathing and walking helps alleviate stress which brings up our natural protecting shield from gravitational dark shadows or forces that are possibly meant to skip right over our energy field and end up across the galaxy on some other grease monkey’s back.

Yes, I give thanks and praise not to be so closed minded as to not believe or at least consider or think about the possibility of other life forces other than our own as humans.

No, personally, I don’t have, too, many snowy white owls come to me unless some “Exoteric” aspect of life is visiting or entering or saying goodbye or leaving forever.

Yes, mythological means legendary, fabulous, fairy-tale, fabled, storybook.

Yes, in every shred of mythology there’s always truth and that’s real wisdom for you.

Okay, I’ve got to let “Freeway” outside before accidents happen.

How dark it’s gotten so early in the evenings.

Dark cold winter descends upon us.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,291

Word Count: 2,429

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 5,165

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #262 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #14 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #3 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #3 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty five (25”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Monday, November 10, 2014

“The man who refuses to live within his means,

but seeks to be supported by charity,

must not be helped.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Garbled (mixed up terribly, changed in such a way as to mislead)

His account of the game was so garbled that we did not know who won.

--- --- ---

Introductory:

Chapter 1.

Page 31

That true good breeding consists not in the manner, but in the mind, is one of those insipid common-places that the world delights to be told. That a pleasing exterior of appearance, and an insinuating habit of demeanor, may be perfectly attained by one, to whose feelings honor is a stranger, and generosity utterly unknown, it would be absurd to deny. But there unquestionably goes more than this to the formation of a thorough gentleman. Separated from native loftiness of sentiment, we rarely discover those courtly, and, if I may say so, those magnanimous manners, which constitute a high-bred man.

--- --- ---

Corrections were made.

Hello.

Correction

December 2013: 164 pounds

November 2014: 149 pounds

Yes, I only have the last twelve (12 lbs) pounds to lose by March 2015 from one hundred and forty nine (149 lbs) pounds to one hundred and thirty seven (137 lbs) pounds.

Yes, as of yesterday, I was one hundred and forty nine (149 lbs) pounds when I weighed myself on a scale.

Yes, as of December 2013, I was one hundred and sixty four (164 lbs) pounds when I was weighed at my former medical practitioner’s office or place of work.

Yes, in October 2014, when I wrote about my weight as of last December 2013, I had the wrong information and incorrect weight in pounds when I wrote that I weighed less than one hundred and sixty four (164 lbs) pounds when that’s factually exactly the accurate weight that I weighed on December 2013; I weighed one hundred and sixty four (164) pounds.

Yes, in October 2014, I wrote that in December 2013, I was one hundred and fifty (150 lbs) pounds when factually I was one hundred and sixty four (164 lbs) pounds on December 2013.

Yes, to my recollection both Eric and I quit eating sugar in the third week of February 2014 and that’s when we shed pounds (164-149) (fifteen (15) pounds in eight months) as of yesterday when I weighed myself at the farm.

Yes, I made a mistake in memory.

No, I’m not senile.

Yes, I checked my medical records and realized that I had no idea what I was talking about, however, I thought that I did.

Yes, the lovely aspect is that I came back to the table to correct my mistake and own up to my mistake as a mature and happy and reasonable adult. (Right. Right.)

Yes, that means that my second uterine fibroid operation in September 2013 had nothing to do with my weight on December 2013.

When I went into surgery at that precise time (September 2013) I weighed one hundred and sixty four (164 lbs) pounds.

In December 2013, I still weighed exactly one hundred and sixty four (164 lbs) pounds.

Yes, as of yesterday, I’m one hundred and forty nine (149) pounds.

Finally, I ‘broke’ the one hundred and fifty (150 lb) pound ‘ceiling.’

Yes, I directly write about my weight so that other Americans may understand health as a journey rather than as something devastating or ‘boring’ or a ‘chore’ and more of a present moment experience and thoughtful daily lifestyle practices.

No, I don’t meditate because Mayans aren’t to make contact with extra terrestrial entities.

Yes, I conduct daily breathing exercises to bring down my heart rate and pulse.

Yes, I personally conduct daily prayers to different Mayan Gods each and every single day of the week throughout the year until I’ve prayed to three hundred plus some Gods. (That’s quite a theological commitment from an Atheist to Her Ancestor’s Ancient Gods.)

*****

Oh, my Gods!

Yes, I suppose I was indeed “obese” at one hundred and sixty four (164) pounds almost eleven (11) months ago now.

It’s amazing how much life happens to us in one single year (2013-2014) of life.

On December 2013, how could I be in so much “denial” about being “obese” when I ought to have been twenty seven (27 lbs) pounds lighter than I was then?

On March 2014, I was supposed to be one hundred and thirty seven (137) pounds by ‘doctor’s orders’ and I didn’t meet that goal thus I’m hoping to lose the last twelve (12) pounds by March 2015 within five (5) months and keep the weight off for the rest of my life unless I become pregnant within the next three years by the age of forty (40.)

*****

Yes, I could ‘go off,’ on so many different tangents about “health,” however, let’s discuss “weight” because “weight’s” the key element to good health unless one has some hormone or chemical imbalance.

‘Good health’ is indeed ‘everything.’

When I stop to consider what “illness” and “heath” are all about, I don’t allow myself to imagine the worse because I’m not “hardwired” ‘that way.’ I’m “hardwired” for possibility and life and a thriving culture and legal civilities and society and civilization and peace.

{Side Bar:} {It’s now 7:37 P.M. I’m having a terrible stomach ache and that hardly ever happens to me. I can hardly concentrate.

Let’s see what I write and if any writing makes any sense. (Oh, my.)

(Not totally sure why I stopped to say a prayer to the Gods to make sure that I and our beloved ones and our people and our citizens and civilians aren’t ever poisoned or murdered because sane Humans don’t “hunt” or “kill” or “murder” or “eat” (cannibals) their own species otherwise such humans aren’t only considered “predators” also “insane.”.).}. (That’s correct punctuation.) Cheers.

The seasonal (frontal lobe) headaches come and go.

The sinus pressure’s enough to ‘knock me out’ like a punch to the nose.

Others’ diseases (Illness) cause me to stop a moment to be grateful for my health and that of those whom we love very much and whom love us.

What a rich and lovely life to be a working class individual ‘ball-and-chain’ to forty hours in an office or studio or study per week. (Cheers. I ought to stop writing here and retire for the day.)

*****

Yes, as of this weekend November 7, 2014, I’ve decided to break an eight (8) year rule; which my rule was to only consume one thousand and two hundred (1,200) calories per daily nutritional intake by the time I went to bed and I’ve now changed that to one thousand and five hundred (1,500) calories for the next year and see what happens.

That numeric rule about one thousand and two hundred (1,200) calories per daily calorie consumption hasn’t ever worked for me within the past eight (8) years because my body stubbornly holds on to every bit of fat that my body can hang onto especially during the winter months. (It can be a weight struggle.)

{It’s now 8:10 P.M. and here I stop writing for today otherwise I think that I could get violently ill or something. My stomach’s in knots.

May the Gods protect us from all harm.

We leave it up to the Gods.

No, I’m not a “coyote.”

No, I don’t practice “voodoo.”

No, I don’t ‘personally’ have ‘anything’ to do with “voodoo.”

May the Gods be with us all.

We’re all children of the Earth.

Love.

Peace.

Unity.

One Love.

Humans.

Animals.

Plants.

Water.

Great sleep.

Excellent education.

Yes, I must study more about medicine.

How little I know about the human body and illness and medicine and chemistry and physiology.

*****

Today’s date: 11/11/2014 @ 12:42 P.M.

Specifically, what I wanted to personally convey about weight and daily calorie consumption is this: For eight (8) straight years I thought I was doing the right thing to only consume one thousand and two hundred (1,200) calories by the time I went to bed, however, I was dead wrong about daily calorie intake because my body’s fought me every step of the way.

Finally, I’ve come to the realization that it’s not okay to go to bed with only one thousand and two hundred (1,200) calories after any entire day’s calories (1,800-2,220 calories) are completely burned through not much weight’s been lost because in about eight (8 1/2) and a half years my body’s fat deposits do stubbornly hang onto as much fat as possible thus I’ve got to “change up” my nutritional game. (Okay.)

Okay, so, most likely, we’re in bed and fast asleep by eleven (11 P.M.) most nights.

We’ve once more changed our schedule: Thus we now get up at nine (9:00 A.M.) in the morning instead of at five (5:00 A.M.) or six (6:00 A.M.) in the morning and when we sleep from eleven (11 P.M.) at night until nine (9:00 A.M.) the next morning that’s about ten (10) hours of nightly sleep.

Since I approximately burn about fifty (50) calories at rest or during sleep then that means that by nine (9:00 A.M.) in the morning I’ve got a five (500) hundred calorie deficit to make up the next day and the following day and so forth and so on.

As of about four weeks ago, now, my endocrinologist ordered to get my cholesterol down to 200 by April 2015.

Yes, I’ve completely quit (November 2014) cheese (my favorite) and quit (November 2014) butter (my other favorite) and of course we quit sugar (not always my favorite) in the third week of February 2014.

We ‘grew up’ on organic kale.

Kale happens to be my favorite vegetables.

Forevermore, daily, we make a commitment to eat more kale because it sure keeps us ‘regular’ on a daily basis.

We (as a married couple) make a daily commitment to consume dark chocolate, however, no darker than seventy two (72%) percent (so we can sleep at night) (unless we’re sick then we use darkest chocolate as a medicine.)

We (as a married couple) make a daily commitment to consume no more than one cup of coffee and to eat vegetables and either one banana or one apple and no more than four teaspoons (the little spoons) of (no sugar) peanut butter and no more than half (1/2) a cup of organic ‘sugar cane’ ice cream as well as non GMO pancake batter (on Sunday mornings 2014) or we consume non GMO “Agave” syrup in our home-made bread-toast with seasonal home-made well preserved and canned jams (mostly, no sugar unless it’s a gift from another canner) such as raspberry (2014) or ‘June berry’ jam (2012-2013) or rhubarb jam (2012-2013) or blackberry jam (2010) or apricot jam (2010) or ‘date’-fruit jam (2010) or cherry jam (2010) or blueberry jam (2008-2010) or, or, or...

We (as a married couple) make a daily commitment to consume no more than one desert (sugar cane) (not table sugar) per night or any other consumption of any type per most days.

We commit to vegetables. We make it a point to drink water. We make it a point to sleep at least eight (8) or more hours per night.

We commit to morning and nightly relaxation.

We commit to one ‘stiff’ drink per nightly cocktail.

We commit to peace.

We commit to clean clothes.

We commit to clean bedding.

We commit to comfort.

We commit to work.

We commit to excellent nutrition and enjoy dining-out.

We commit to Sabbaths off.

We commit to good and excellent enduring health.

We commit to us.

We commit to making a better life.

We commit to changes.

*****

No, no, melodrama here.

Last night’s stomach ache’s ‘nothing’ even though “cramps” can be violently painful and last for about thirty five (35) minutes at a time on the hour every hour for days and all that one can do is ‘hold on’ to every shred of dignity one has not to scream out in pain just once in an eight (8) year span. (Yep.)

Mature adults don’t usually ‘yell’ or ‘scream’ or ‘call out’ in pain or otherwise (or sheer terror unless they’re dying right ‘there and then’ in the moment because mature adults eventually and finally realize that all life’s suffering and the Buddhists are correct on that one aspect of life and death.)

(This time, I’m taking this challenging illness ‘on the chin’ with an ‘upper stiff lip’ attitude and frigid ice cold Costa Rican ‘tranquillo’ attitude and impeccable manners and Minnesota ‘hardy’ passive aggressive attitude even if I were to fail from time-to-time because I mean kindness even though I seem to be some wild enigma creature spirit that’s intelligent because I can write letters and also ‘make’ some sense out of chaos (‘war strategy madness’) and conflict and prejudice and biases and hatred and racism and gender and age biases.) (No, my spirit isn’t a ‘glowing blob,’ either.)

(Yes, I feel organically ‘wild’ yet composed like the elegance of an entire composed ballet and dancers’ rigorous athleticism; sweat, blood and tears.

Yes, I feel like the ‘burning belly’ inside ‘the pit of warmth and fire’ so that I might dance inside the purple fire of meaning and lyrical poetry, and choose to finally mature and conduct myself ‘to the best of my intellectual abilities’ which I must now change and refine so that my life’s limited to as little ‘bullshit’ as possible.) (Thank you.)

(Enough said about that for now.)

Personally, I’ve stood in rooms in which other women ‘clutched’ at the outside of their ‘wombs’ while the women ‘curled up’ into “the fetal position” and one could observe from watching the women in pain that every time their pain overtook them then the women either clutched near their uteruses or ovaries while the women silently cried quiet tears of sheer physical pain as other women attended to their sisters or dearest friends and such village women.

Pain such as that would surely break men and bring men down to their knees and that’s why women are revered and respected no matter what the situation or interaction or circumstance or present position might be.

In other words, one feels intense and violent pain in one’s stomach area as though the wind gets 'knocked out' of one’s diaphragm area and one can barely breathe.

“Cramps” and “cramp pain” feels like a strong punch to the stomach ‘gut’ without any internal or external bruising except that “cramps” tend to leave one with shortness of breath like the win gets ‘knocked out’ of one’s body twice per hour possibly for days at a time. (No, no, melodrama here. I’m sitting as quietly and as steadily as possible so that nothing might begin to hurt like hell.) (Okay.)

*****

Finally, in conclusion:

Yes, this is it: From October 2013-October 2014, I took the birth control pill as prescribed to me.

Yes, my former medical practitioner (2012-2014) indicated and advised to me to cut in half (1/2) each individual birth control pill each and every single day for one complete and entire year (October 2013-October 2014.) (Okay.) I’m a ‘laymen’ private citizen and do as my doctor recommends and prescribes because I don’t know any better until I run any ‘diagnosis’ by medical specialists who truly and directly tells me “the” truth to the best of their ability and guides me to sidestep terrible advice (from professionals in their medical field) for the sake of my health if for no other good reason.

Yes, my medical practitioner indicated and advised me to bypass the “placeboes” (‘sugar pills’) on each monthly birth control pill packet and take straight dosages of the birth control pill for one complete straight year (October 2013-October 2014.)

Yes, this is the second day that in one complete year (October 2013-October 2014) I haven’t had half (1/2) a pill of birth control in my system.

Yes, I’ve got five (5) more days to go without taking any birth control pills. (My system’s cleaning out. Detoxification.)

No, when I was younger I barely ever got “cramps” until about two years ago and then sometimes the “cramps” “buggers” ‘take me out’ and I sit ever so silently for about two or three or four days straight waiting for the violent pain to surpass.

No, I neither am hallucinating nor do I hold any suicidal thoughts of any type at this time.

No, there’s no “melodrama” when one lives through terrible illnesses only because one’s time’s limited and precious and life’s timed and managed to almost full capacity to lead a quiet life of digital correspondence and work and daily short errands and snacks and quiet research and problem solving and, and, and...

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,500

Word Count: 2,736

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,718

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #261 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #13 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #3 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #3 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four and a half (24.5”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Friday, November 7, 2014

“Charity is the very salt of riches.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Postern (rear, private)

All deliveries are to be made through the postern gate.

--- --- ---

Introductory:

Chapter 1.

Page 29-31

Morals, lay the foundation of manner. A well ordered mind, a well regulated heart, produce the best conduct. The rules which a philosopher or moralist lays down for his own guidance, properly developed, lead to the most courteous acts. Franklin laid down for himself the following rules to regulate his conduct through life;---

Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation

Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

Make no expense but to do good to others, or to yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly; and if you speak, speak accordingly.

Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes or habitation.

Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable, and “be temperate in all things.”

Let these rules be applied to the elegant intercourse of life, and they are precisely what is required. Those who would set good morals and good manners at variance, wrong both.

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Hello.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,000 personal journals

Word Count: 111

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count:

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #258 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #10 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #2 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #2 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four and a half (24.5”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Thursday, November 6, 2014

“If you won’t give to Jacob you will have to give to Esau.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Mnemonics (devices for aiding memory)

Mnemonics are used by students to remember certain facts.

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Introductory:

Chapter 1.

Page 29

As to the technical part of politeness, or forms alone, the intercourse of society, and good advice, are undoubtedly useful, but the grand secret of never failing in propriety of deportment, is to have an intention of always doing what is right. With such a disposition of mind, exactness in observing what is proper appears to all to possess a charm and influence; and then not only do mistakes become excusable, but they become even interesting from their thoughtlessness and naivete. Be, therefore, modest and benevolent, and do not distress yourself on account of the mistakes of your inexperience; a little attention, and the advice of a friend will soon correct these trifling errors.

--- --- ---

Corrections were made.

Hello.

How I ‘landed’ myself in “talk-therapy”

September 2014

Today, my respectful and trusted and professional (non-sexual) talk-therapist made the great distinction to inform me that “talk-therapy” isn’t “jail” thus one doesn’t ‘land’ oneself into talk-therapy.

One simply attends talk-therapy. (Indeed.)

No, “talk-therapy” isn’t “jail.”

Are you kidding?

Talk-therapy is ever so useful.

Yes, “talk-therapy’s” amazing in that one may find a strong advocate who after many hours of listening to one’s problems a talk-therapist may suggest concrete solutions to create positive change in one’s life and hopefully lead one down a mature path towards progressive responsible adulthood. (Cheers to that!)

Yeah, I know all too well that “talk-therapy” and “jail” isn’t the same thing.

Simply, I love “modern” language thus I love “slang,” however, not in a ‘doc’s’ office because doctors tend to take language quite seriously.

No, I didn’t ‘land’ myself in anywhere.

Yes, I simply attend weekly talk-therapy sessions from September 2014-September 2015.

No, I’m not sure as to why I want to revert to speaking ‘slang’ in doctors’ offices because I hardly ever do, if not at all, ever speak any type of ‘slang’ in my daily life.

My speech is for the most part formal and proper in tone and well enunciated unless it’s late at night and I’m sleepy then nothing. (Good luck.)

*****

On August 19, 2013, (correction on the date), I had a full complete annual medical physical checkup with my main medical practitioner (2012-2014.)

(My Father’s advised for me to find a new medical practitioner as of now.)

*****

On the third weekend in September 20, 2013, I had my second uterine fibroid laparoscopic operation.

*****

On the first week in October 2013, again, I went in for a complete medical physical checkup with my medical practitioner after my second uterine fibroid surgery. (Medical procedure.)

On October 2013, my medical practitioner placed me on the birth control pill mainly for the purpose to keep my uterine fibroids (benign tumors) from growing again or at all.

Important note: On October 2013 before I ever began the birth control pill that my doctor prescribed to me on that day; my doctor said something to the affect that I ought to keep in mind that if I were ever to have any suicidal thoughts or thoughts about hurting myself then to literally cut the pill in half and take half of the birth control pill which is half the dosage. (Okay.)

*****

On the second week in October 2013, suddenly, that morning, that I woke up, I did in fact have one “suicidal” thought and in my life that doesn’t ever happen to me.

Not ever do I personally consider suicide as an option. No.

Nope, as a child I wasn’t cerebrally wired to consider “suicide” an option because I’d like to make it to our Mayan afterlife which happens to be “Flower Mountain” thus suicide isn’t an option for a Mayan indigenous.

On the second week in October 2013, I began to cut the prescribed birth control pill in half and did so for one entire complete year through Friday, October 31, 2014; and felt calm (more or less) for the rest of the year through October 2014.

*****

The entire month of May 2014 and the first two weeks of June 2014, I hemorrhaged. (No, not once did I pass out.) (Thank the Gods.)

On July 2014, I went to call my doctor’s main medical offices and their phone number had been terminated from the directory or phonebook.

Each time I called my medical practitioner’s former medical office’s phone number there was no answer or ‘forwarding’ number to call.

Yes, for the month of July 2014, I searched and searched for my main practitioner’s new office’s phone number and finally found it online.

Yes, by July 2014, I was ever so surprised to find out that my main practitioner’s offices had changed phone number and not once did I ever receive any notice either by phone or mail or email indicating my medical practitioner’s change in their medical office’s phone number or otherwise indicated.

Poof! My main medical practitioner’s phone number had vanished off of the face of the Earth.

How queer, no?

How, odd? Yes.

Most likely human error.

Yes, I tend to give humans ‘the benefit of the doubt.’

*****

Fast Forward

On August 20, 2014, yet once again, I received a complete medical physical checkup from my medical practitioner (the same medical practitioner).

On August 20, 2014, my medical practitioner informed me that with her own fingers she could feel some “lumps” on my neck and referred me to go and get a “digital” scan done. (Okay.)

On the first week of September 2014, I went and had a “digital” scan of my throat done.

On the fourth week in September 2014, I was still waiting to hear back from my medical practitioner to tell me the results of my digital throat scan which was done in the first week of September 2014.

On the fourth week in September 2014, two medical doctors from my main practitioner’s medical offices called to inform me about my medical scan results and the results indicated that yes indeed I did have several “nodules” in my thyroid.

Both practitioners (unbeknownst to me, never met them before) referred me to get further blood work and a thyroid ultra-sound done.

Yes, in the first week in October 2014, my blood work indicated that I had blood glucose levels of seventy nine (79) and everything was as it ought to be compared to the previous September 20, 2013 when my blood glucose levels were one hundred and fifty nine (159) before heading into surgery September 2013.

On the second weekend in October 2014, I went in for a thyroid ultra sound.

Yes, the test results indicate that I’ve got “cysts” in my thyroid that are too small to operate and must wait for another six month checkup with the endocrinologist in April 2015.

*****

On August 20, 2014, during my annual physical checkup my medical practitioner told me to stop acting like a “five year old” and act like an adult. (Okay.)

Yes, I tend to shrug and hold terrible posture because my body tends to sometimes hurt specifically my joints.

Yes, for some awkward reason when I’ve been in the presence of any doctor that’s been directly medically treating me then I make myself as less threatening as possible out of fear that any medical doctor might just kill me because of cultural differences from that of Western medical idealisms and practices vs. Indigenous ways.

Yes, according to our Indigenous ways, we perceive modern Western medical medicine (correction) as something barbaric. (Yes, I better stop here before I get myself into any more trouble.)

Yes, ever since my medical practitioner told me to stop acting like a “five year old” around her then I’ve stopped acting like a “five year old” around all doctors because I ‘bounce around’ from specialist to specialist’s office and none can determine my illness or answer questions about my (at times) fragile health.

For some reason, I no longer fear doctors however I don’t either trust them to do well by anybody much less me because what a “God complex” my medical practitioner’s perceived to hold deep biases and opinions about her powerful position in the world and her “white privilege” and her irresponsibility to get back to her patients in an orderly fashionable timely manner.

To have to wait three weeks for one’s medical practitioner to get back to their patient with test results is odd in a modern era much less hearing back from literal medical strangers other than from one’s medical practitioner is quite weird because my medical practitioner’s medical doctorate colleagues openly gave their medical opinions in regards to my health which their diagnosis’s were indeed incorrect according to specialists and the incorrect diagnosis’s are considered a “no-no” in my book.

*****

On Friday, October 31, 2014, I went to see my medical practitioner about a persistent cough I’ve had for about six straight weeks and at that time received a prescription for antibiotics.

Immediately, I began to take the antibiotics as of this past weekend and just finished the last antibiotic two nights ago.

On Friday, October 31, 2014, I told my doctor about how from time-to-time I’d get ‘terribly’ irritable with Eric and my doctor asked me about the birth control pill she prescribed in October 2013.

Yes, I answered my doctor, perfectly honestly and innocently, and told her, that daily I still took half a pill of the birth control and she told me to start taking one complete pill. (She seemed irritable and annoyed with me. I got annoyed with her.)

She seemed to get upset with me and told me not to cut my birth control pill in half and made it seem as though it was my problem that I’d begun to do so in the first place, however.

On October 2013, yes, it was my doctor who told me to cut the birth control pill in half and thus I did since otherwise the thought wouldn’t have entered my laymen brains.

As of Friday, October 31, 2014, my main medical practitioner also informed me to take the placeboes birth control pills (the last row of white pills) and to stick to the program. (Okay.)

*****

Ever since Friday, October 31, 2014, I’ve begun to take one complete birth control pill and will take the placeboes (the last row on my birth control packets) even though I’m terrified about the strong affect and how much havoc the placeboes will wreak on my hormone health because for one complete year I’ve skipped my placeboes and my Doctor knew that because I directly told my doctor that information last December 2013 and she didn’t mention a thing about the dosage of daily taking half a pill (at that time.) (Okay.)

No, I haven’t had any suicidal thoughts of any type.

Yes, I’m once again calm and placid as frozen still waters.

My main medical practitioner has demanded that I take one entire birth control pill per day so that I may all completely stop all hemorrhaging episodes going into 2015.

My main medical practitioner has said that if I hemorrhage once more then she’ll have to send me to the hospital for a blood transfusion.

Yes, I hemorrhaged from October 10, 2014-October 28, 2014.

Yes, I’m due back at my medical practitioner’s office at the end of November 2014 so that at that time my doctor may evaluate the affect that one complete birth control pill per day is having on me.

If I’m calm and placid then we’re good to go otherwise there’s always her weird alternative.

Okay.

*****

On October 31, 2014, my medical practitioner informed me that if my slight mood swings don’t improve to her satisfaction then she’ll consider putting me on “mood swing” altering medication which I’ve not once taken any “mood swing” altering medication in my entire life.

As of this morning, November 6, 2014, my talk-therapist informed me that “anti-depressants” and “mood swing” altering medications aren’t the same thing and that “mood swing” altering medications are stronger than “anti-depressants” and “mood swing” altering medications will leave me as catatonic or as a drugged up as a horse on horse pill tranquilizer. (Perfect. Sarcasm.)

(No, thank you. I don’t desire to become my doctor’s ‘guinea pig’ project to see if my moods change or not because on “mood swing” altering medications then one goes into a comma of sorts.)

What an odd or queer Western country.

I’m supposed to respect that medical alternative?

Nope.

Thank the Gods for my therapist otherwise my medical doctor would’ve drugged me up ‘to the gills’ on some idiotic horse tranquilizer drug. (Oh, my Gods! What’s America turned into?)

In other words, my therapist more or less suggested that I find a new medical practitioner and to definitely go find four or five other opinions on the matter. (Okay.)

Now, I must begin my search for a new medical practitioner because my doctor tends to give me lectures on theology and God and she scares the dickens out of me.

The reason why my medical practitioner ‘scares the dickens out of me’ and why I don’t trust her anymore is because she seems ever so ‘close minded’ about anything other than Western medicine as well as slightly ‘annoyed’ by my interactive communication style as well as her ‘head’s not in the game’ because she doesn’t return my calls or gets back to me, ever, any more. (Okay.)

Yes, I think that my medical practitioner doesn’t like me and I don’t like her. (Oh, well.) (Yes, I was informed that she’s a good doctor however she’s turned out to be a bad doctor for me.)

Yes, I must find a new medical doctor and this time it’s going to be a man because men already know what a vagina and uterus looks like and I’ve lost full confidence in Caucasian medical women when it comes to having them interact with ‘laymen’ women of color.

Why are Caucasian medical women so crazy to deal with?

All that my doctor ever did is give me theological lectures and I recent her for it because, no, I’m not my doctor’s “five year old” little daughter yet my doctor hasn’t ever stopped treating me like a child so I treat her like an abusive adult.

(Yes, I’m getting as far away as possible from my medical practitioner because other therapists and doctors are telling me to do so and now. No, I’m not allowed to ever again set foot at her practice.)

Don’t lecture me about Mayan theology.

Yes, I know that the Mayan GODS live inside my heart.

*****

Yes, on August 20, 2014, I ‘landed’ myself in “talk-therapy” because my medical practitioner turned to me and spoke to me like an arrogant bastard and told me to stop all this nonsense about how the Mayan “Gods” live inside our literal physical hearts.

Yes, Yes, I ‘landed’ myself in talk-therapy because on August 20, 2014, my medical practitioner turned to me and spoke to me like an arrogant bastard and told me to get smart about the fact that only one ‘God’ lives inside the chemicals of our brain chemistry and not inside our hearts.

Yes, I burst into tears like a “five year old.”

My doctor shattered my theological world viewpoint.

My doctor frightened me so much that she shook me to the core of my being.

My doctor then proceeded to tell me that I must go see a ‘shrink’ to consider the strong possibility that I might be “depressed” because I cried in front of her.

(Like hell if I’ll ever cry in front of another medical doctor especially when they frighten me with their ridiculous theological world viewpoint.)

Yes, I resent my medical practitioner in ways that others shan’t ever understand because even though my doctor’s my doctor, she has no business or right speaking or lecturing to me on the finer points about theology especially not Mayan theology.

(As I sit here and think about it, I ought to have spit in her eye because that’s how vulgar and manipulative she truly was.)

If it weren’t for the talk-therapist’s ‘save’ today then most likely I ought to have ended up with a belly full of “mood swing” altering medications and drooling like some horse on horse pill tranquilizers. (What a cruel world.)

My therapist told me that that’s wrong for her to do. (Okay.)

Always get a second opinion.

Always.

No, my therapist doesn’t think that I’m “depressed” or need “mood swing” altering medications.

*****

Yes, my main medical practitioner ‘doc’ finally ‘broke it to me’ that my body tricks itself into thinking that my body’s pregnant all the time.

No, cerebrally I don’t consider myself pregnant.

No, my brain and mind don’t consider me pregnant.

However, hormonally, my body does consider itself pregnant.

What a cerebral and physical challenge to contend with.

Yes, I pray for good health each day.

No, I’m not depressed.

Every single morning of my life, I wake up happy to be alive and I step out of bed with ‘a spring in my step’ and I’m ready for life and all of the many complex responsibilities that go with that and so on and so forth, etc., etc., etc.

Yes, others are more of a threat to me than I am to them or to myself. (People are crazy cruel.)

Yes, all couples fight, especially, when one partner refused to learn to cook or clean for eight straight years, then a woman isn’t hormonal, she becomes homicidal (a joke) and wants to choke her immature husband to death due to his lazier and disrespectful domestic tendencies as a partner.

Yes, ‘we’re still married’ also.

Peace.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,323

Word Count: 2,929

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 10,865

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #257 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #9 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #2 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #2 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four and a half (24.5”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

“A man gives little if he gives much with a frown;

he gives much if he gives little with a smile.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Bovine (of an ox, of a cow, oxlike or cowlike; slow, patient, stupid, stolid, etc.)

These laborers had a certain bovine quality which suited them to their unimaginative occupation.

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Introductory:

Chapter 1.

Page 29

“Etiquette,” says a modern English author, “may be defined as the minor morality of life. No observances, however minute, that tend to spare the feelings of others, can be classed under the head of trivialities; and politeness, which is but another name for general amiability, will oil the creaking wheels of life more effectually than any of those unguents supplied by mere wealth or station.

(No close quote.)

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Hello.

Republican Party

GOP

2014

Yes, It’s commonly known that when the Democrats hold the “White House” then Republicans will most likely hold control over most of the seats in either the House or Senate or both and vice versa which happens to be a lovely political aspect because then balance is harmoniously kept between both political parties.

Yes, I grew up Republican.

Yes, both of my Caucasian Grandfathers voted Republican.

Yes, I identified as Republican until a few short years ago.

Yes, when Eric married me, I was very much a Republican. (April, 2009.)

Yes, I changed my mind about the Republican Party when I first realized (2011) that Republicans actually do go out of their way to oppress women’s legal civil liberties and already established laws ‘written in stone’ such as 1973’s “Roe vs. Wade.”

No, we’re neither in “shock” or “awe” or “distressed” that Republicans took control over both Houses and Republicans now set the Congressional agenda for the next two years.

Hopefully, Republicans will get “positive” and “constructive” work done now that Republicans hold majority over the House and Senate.

No, we don’t get all stressed out or ‘worked up’ about Americans ‘cutting off their nose to spite their face’ when it comes to voting Republican.

No, nothing “surprises” us when it comes to elections because we’re American.

*****

Yes, what I can’t seem to understand is this: how did the Republicans win so many seats in both the House and Senate?

What happened?

What about the Democratic Party caused Democrats to ‘drop the ball’ (make a mistake) towards the second latter part of the campaign?

No, I haven’t totally kept up, however.

What reasons did Democrats have for ‘distancing’ themselves from one of “The” most powerful figures on Earth?

(The President of the United States of America is one of the most powerful figures on Earth. Yes.)

Did the Republicans win the House and the Senate mainly upon the basis of Gerrymandering? Yes.

Did the Republicans cheat? Yes.

How did the Democrats allow ‘a fair chance for a win’ to slip away from them? (Bad strategy? Bad campaign issues? Bad politics? Bad policies?)

Personally, we do our very best to ensure and conduct our civil rights and liberties such as voting because not only is voting our right yet our privileged responsibility to do so.

However and nevertheless, what was it about the Democrats that made them ‘give up’ so early in the game?

What was it about the Democrats that didn’t make Democrats seem more “impassioned” about their message of “equality” in general or “equal pay” or “equal” minimum wage increase or, or, or about the economic rights of families or…

*****

As much as the Democratic Party stands for racial and economic “equality,” sometimes, I can’t help to stop and think that the Democratic Party’s missing a “backbone” or “stamina” or “strength” or “courage” to show off their more humanitarian stronger points.

There, finally, I wrote it. (ESL corrections were made.)

What is it about the Republican Party which seems to be a political party of “cultural divide” and “hatred” and “fear” and “war” about ‘everything’ or ‘anything’?

What is it about the Republican Party that makes them the party of hateful rhetoric?

What is it about a “hateful” Republican Party that’s empowered their party’s base to vote understanding perfectly well that their Republican votes will most likely set-in-place “bigots” and “racist” politicians who’d love to ‘rip open’ the American vagina and ‘fist fuck’ it until she bleeds and can’t walk straight for days.

What if Republicans were mostly women who wanted to ‘fist fuck’ the butthole of the Republican Party?

What then?

Would Republicans then vote Republican? Nope.

Yes, these are important distinctions to make.

What is it about Americans that we continue to vote-in Republican “bigots” or “racists” or archaic male chauvinistic pigs?

What is it about Americans that we continue to vote-in Republicans who don’t believe in “equal pay” or ‘all day Kindergarten’ or a “fair” minimum wage that ought to be set at twenty-one ($21.00) dollars per hourly wage rate as of (2014)?

What is it about Americans that we continue to lend voice to hatred?

What is it about the “average” or “ordinary” uneducated American voter that will and does and did vote-in a Republican political system and party that’s willing to politically destroy and economically rape our nation by implementing tax loopholes for the rich and corporations?

What is it that the Republican Party has that the Democratic Party doesn’t?

What is it that the Republican Party has ‘over’ the Democratic Party?

What are the “sick” and “twisted” and “weird” and “queer” (odd) and “abusive” and “vulgar” power that the Republican Party holds over the Democratic Party in America?

What is it about Caucasian constituents that continually like to vote-in a Republican Party full of politicians who don’t care if their constituents live or die?

How do I know that the Republican Party’s politicians don’t care if Caucasian constituents live or die?

Yes, I know that the Republican Party’s politicians don’t care if Caucasian constituents live or die because I’ve been a witness and a guest inside thousands of Minnesota’s homes of the many Republican elderly Caucasian people who still live like it’s 1982 and nothing much’s changed for these retired elderly who bitterly hang on to their racist ideals of inequality as well as their former ideals about the “imagined” wealth of the Republican Party that’s now a party that’s no longer what it once was because the Republican Party’s main agenda seems to be to destroy rather than to equally build and present economic opportunities to citizens and civilians.

What is it about the Republican Party’s strong constituent base that refuses to admit any type of factual scientific truth or take any type of responsibility that the Republican Party is no different than a political Fascist State like Hitler was?

What is it that continually and perpetually reinstates a Republican Party of hatred?

What is it about a Republican Party’s constituent base that keeps voters ever so “ignorant” to the essential and drastic change that America must make to bring about “equality” for all men and women and not only bring further prosperity to wealthy Caucasian Americans living off of tax loopholes while schools crumble and children go without school lunches?

*****

No, no.

Please, don’t continue to vote Republican simply because smarter people than me say not to.

What will it take for the Democratic Party to ‘pull all the stops’ within the next two years heading into the 2016 Presidential Elections?

What will it take for the Democratic Party to ‘show off’ their stellar humanitarian qualities to continue to fight for minorities and women and education?

Doesn’t ‘every’ American want “equality” for minorities and women and better education for our young so that our young aren’t as stupid as our present political state of affairs have been within this Recent November 2014 elections?

No, I don’t mean to be “sour” or “bitter” sounding about this November 2014 elections because I’m ever so happy that there’s a strong semiotic political balance of gridlock happening in Washington D.C. since greed reigns supreme.

*****

How will the Democratic Party get mostly despondent and ‘out of work’ young adult Americans to vote for a Democratic Party that continually gets its ‘rear end’ handed to its political party during the last twelve years’ elections?

How will the Democratic Party get a mostly impoverished black and brown voter population to the polls on Presidential Election Day (November 2016) two years from now?

How will the Democratic Party get a mostly “ignoramus” Caucasian voter population to be more “compassionate” and “understanding” about the “equal rights” of the “underdog” (minorities and women and children) and not only care about ‘white privilege’ rights and matters because all people are important in America otherwise it wouldn’t be America, it would be Russia.

How will the Democratic Party get a mostly “ignoramus” black and brown voter population to be more “compassionate” and “understanding” about their own “equal rights?”

How will the Democratic Party get a mostly “ignoramus” American culture and country to sway to their way of thinking to become more compassionate about the future of others?

How will the Democratic Party get a mostly “ignoramus” and embittered and hateful American population of voters to care about the trials and tribulations of our needy and undereducated and sick or ill?

What dramatic changes and deep rooted cultural heritage and history will the Democratic Party draw strength from to ‘turn this ship around?’

What is it about Americans that hate with the passion of devils?

What is it about Americans that after a decade of political and economic upheaval and oppression that we continue to vote-in “bigots” and “racists” and “haters” into positions of political power?

What is it about the American psyche that holds a real hatred of progressive and positive change for all?

What is it about the American confidence and ego and ethos and pathos that forces for us to want to passive-aggressively show and portray to the world our deeply instilled ‘backward’ Hickish mentality about equal rights and racism and economic slavery.

(Don’t get me wrong. Truly, some of my friends are “Hicks” and we’re as close as any two “biased” people can be close to each other.)

What is it about Americans that we want others to hurt as badly as we hurt thus our vote is more like a “middle finger” than a right or a responsibility or a privilege?

What is it about Americans that makes us ever so hateful?

What is it about Americans that makes us such political puns and “ignoramuses?”

What is it about Americans that makes us do all the ‘dirty work’ for the politicians by electing Fascist public servants to office.

What is it about Americans that makes us so ‘dumb’ about politics?

A lack of education.

A lack of historical context and reference.

A lack of compassion.

A lack of understanding.

A lack to smell our own butts when our butts smell of poop.

A lack of wisdom.

A lack of equality is what keeps us from voting with our conscious mind and our giving spirits and open hearts.

Americans have lost the value to be American.

Congratulations to the Republican Party on winning control over the House and Senate agendas.

Americans aren’t afraid of the Republican Party’s elected public servants as “bigots” and “racists” and “modern Fascists.”

Cheers!

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,192

Word Count: 2,369

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 7,936

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #256 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #8 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #2 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #2 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four and a half (24.5”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Personal Literary Notes:

Yes, I’m behind about two thousand topics of discussion that I’d like to write about however I haven’t totally gathered all of my thoughts about many of these such subject matter topic thus I haven’t brought myself to write about such specific topics because I don’t want to write the wrong thing (per se) as I might as well ought to because my bias opinion is one of many in the galaxy.

Yes, I’d like to write about: The American injustice not to financially sponsor or support our very own “Space Program,” or write about military rape and sexual assault or university campus rape and sexual assault or write about this recent Republican GOP Party or write about abortion policy or write about Hong Kong’s Cultural Liberal Information Internet Movement or write about “Stop & Frisk” or write about the CIA or write about the NSA or write about the stock market or write about votes or write about Wall Street or write about organic pesticides vs. non organic pesticides and chemicals or write about GMO food labeling or write about immigration or write about healthcare costs or write about anything that really matters and if I do write about such subject matter then I must do the subject matter at hand total and complete justice, however, there’s only one of me, and I can do only so much research one day at a time. (Thanks.)

No, it isn’t that I get ‘dumb’ in the head.

Au contraire, I’m quite smart and many thoughts come to me, however and still yet as it is with thoughts sometimes some thoughts are about organic vs. non-organic tomatoes which will lead me to think and consider farming policies for the Midwest or the legalities about American National Forests or about compost or people who go missing in American National Forests or brutal American gun violence or American racism.

No, I’m not ‘always’ thinking “super” smart stuff because as of this moment I thought about how I really like “Borax” as a detergent product that as of recent we found and like how this product really does take out the most inhumane of all odors out of our wash (laundry) yet “Borax” isn’t a product that’s “fair trade” or carries some other accredited or “certified” environmentalist stickers which those “fair trade” stickers actually make me feel better about the product itself yet “Borax” seems ever so ‘ordinary’ and from another era yet dependable and reliable, however.

“Borax” hasn’t yet jumped into a contemporary game as to how much and what they’ll contribute in this new century when it comes to “fair trade” and environmental concerns.

Yes, I think about a lot of ‘ordinary’ everyday common household objects and things and products and how to improve upon them because we still live very much like the 1980’s.

Humanity hasn’t technically evolved by ‘leaps and bounds’ thus humanity has yet to prove itself with the advancement and accomplishment of fusion propelled jet engine cars that can and do and will float like in the “Jetsons” cartoons. Cheers!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

“The best charity is good will.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Brackish (salty, distasteful)

He could not drink the brackish water.

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Introductory:

Chapter 1.

Page 28-29

Lord Chesterfield declared good breeding to be “the result of much good sense, some good nature, and a little self-denial for the sake of others and with a view to obtain the same indulgence from them.” The same authority in polite matters says “Good sense and good nature suggest civility in general, but good breeding there are a thousand little delicacies which are established only by custom.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Annual “Household” Median

Of Lower-Middle Income Earnings

For Any Family of Four

Is Thirty Eight ($38,000) Thousand Dollars

Per Year (2013-2014)

In the Twin Cities Metro Area

The National Annual “Household” Median

Of Middle-Middle Income Earnings

For any Family of Four

Is around Sixty Six ($66,000) Thousand Dollars

Per Year (2013-2014

In the United States of America

Fact.

(I enjoy funny commercials.)

As of Monday, November 3, 2014, we paid one thousand six hundred and thirty three ($1,633) dollars for the month of October 2014’s medical bills, after insurance.

(Gosh, medical bills sure do add up.

How does a family of four (4) living on an annual median household income survive monthly medical bills, when all that median income household families of four (4) live on is thirty-eight ($38,000) thousand dollars in the Twin Cities (2014), when nearly two thousand ($2,000) dollars, ‘fly out’ the window (per month) to cover medical expenses that medical insurance doesn’t cover.)

We set aside an annual medical budget so that we may find comfort in the fact that we take care of our health even though our annual strictly set “household” budget’s at thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per yearly domestic expenditures like food and gas and dining-out or order-in and a monthly mortgage and water and sewer and electricity and garbage and other miscellaneous household items as well as clothing and shoes and monthly travel expenses across state because that’s what that Median ‘Lower-Middle Income Earners’ in the Twin Cities do with thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per annual family of four’s budget and so do we as a way to show our “solidarity” and ‘independent spirit’ and ‘share a common experience’ with our contemporary citizens and civilians.

For some reason I’m ‘burning’ through money right now as of yesterday and today and it’s all reasonable expenditures.

No, I hardly ever spend any money on anything unless I have to, and that’s not because I’m cheap either, more so precisely because I rarely have need for excess consumption, however.

When I shop then it’s the real deal because it means that some item’s missing in my wardrobe, and I must replace a necessary ‘wardrobe item’ immediately or within every six months to a year because clothes quickly get worn out or ruined especially ‘cheaply’ made clothes oppose to high quality Italian made clothing.

Two weeks ago, I ruined a favorite (online internet outlet store) “Armani” shirt of mine and must now replace it, however, I don’t like to go to a physical clothing shop because shopping’s normally a bad experience all around because unruly shoppers (women, mainly) will stand right in front of other shoppers already standing in front of merchandise, and physically these obnoxious shoppers will block the merchandise, and the weird shoppers who ‘cut off’ other shoppers, and sometimes even so much as leap, and cut right in front of someone else, and grab an item either out of one’s hand or at the same second as one’s about to reach out for an item. (It’s all so odd.)

No fun.

As for our personal annual domestic “household” budgetary ‘case study’ of thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars, that’s far more difficult a budget to sustain without wanting to go over budget than I ever thought it would be as the years move along (2007-2014.)

As of September 2014, ‘we made it.’

Our strict annual domestic “household” budget of thirty-eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per yearly expenditures has and does carry us well enough for a household of two adults and one domestic household pet.

In September 2014, “We Made It” because we purchased two fleece coats from “Patagonia” and both light fleece coats came out to three hundred ($300) dollars.

As of this weekend, we finally purchased ankle length (from an organic cotton company) terry cloth bathrobes.

The bathrobes will be like wearing a towel blanket. (Neat. Fun.)

Yes, we could’ve afforded our “organic” bathrobes about seven (7) years ago, however, when it came to find specific “organic” bathrobes on an annual “household” budget of thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per yearly spending while we conduct this personal economic ‘case study’ as markets heal and do better on a long term basis then vital real economic research is learned about ‘Lower-Middle Income Earnings’ throughout most of the Twin Cities Metro Area in 2013-2014 calendar year.

Yes, we could’ve purchased “organic” bathrobes seven (7) years ago (because we make more than thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per yearly annual income salary) however, we wanted what we wanted or nothing did for us for about seven (7) long years. (Talk about patience.)

(Yes, in the year 2007 we held an annual “household” economic surplus in “pocket change” of seventy ($70,000) thousand dollars in ‘change’ jingling around inside our pockets for purchases like gum (correction) and Italian sodas.)

2007: Seventy ($70,000) thousand dollars in “household” surplus in “pocket change” is only to indicate to the reader a concrete mathematical figure (number) to work with when I talk about our personal economic “household” budgetary ‘case study’ that we’ve been conducting for seven (7) straight years as a married couple that lives on thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per annual “household” budgetary spending as any other mature Twin Cities’ ‘Lower-Middle Income Earning’ family of four lives on per annual income plus taxes so actually in actuality there’s much less to work with than thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars after taxes. (Bummer.)

No, we’re not accounting for taxes, either.

Yes, our personal ‘case study’s’ “household” annual budget is set at thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars and that’s pre-taxed. A straight up thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars nothing more and nothing less.

Yes, annually we put two people through college.

Yes, we ‘anonymously’ donate about thirty (30%) percent of our annual income to charity.

Yes, we help out about five different families (throughout the year) with their lifestyle costs when they ‘come-up’ short on change because we care about them.

Yes, we’re proud to say that we (as a couple) financially help out about five total families here in the Twin Cities area because that’s our responsibility and duty to do so.

It’s ‘neat’ or ‘fun’ that as a legally married couple we can be smart ‘Upper Middle Income Earning’ taxpayers and voters (2014) and private property “homestead’ owners and contributing members of society and still purchase items that are “correct” and “right” for us and our family and our home without ‘breaking the bank’ or ‘without going without.’

Since, our ‘Lower-Middle Income Earning’ contemporaries live on so little (thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per annual household income per salary per Family of four plus taxes) then so do we as we conduct our private and quite personal ‘case study’ that places much, too, much economic pressure on families. (I thought, that by now in this modern ‘Middle-Middle Income Earning’ National Gross Product Increase Era 2014, that the ‘Middle-Middle Income Earning’ lifestyle cost and state of the ‘Minimum Wage’ would indeed be set at least at twenty-dollars as due factually through time and space and historical inflation per percentile percentage points.

Yes, Eric can be extremely “Red Green Show” type of cheap.

Yes, I’ve got an expensive taste on a ‘beer budget.’

Yes, we do beautifully on our annual “household” budget of thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per yearly “household” expenditures even though I could get into Scandinavian furniture (which we aren’t into making such purchases because Eric’s built much of our gorgeous furniture or we inherited amazing 1930’s Minnesota and San Francisco Ancestor furniture) or I could get into Italian “designer” clothing or I could get into “expensive” and fast cars or I could get into, who knows? (I like class and style. I do. I always have and probably always will.)

*****

Yes, we live a modest lifestyle and our lifestyle suits us well.

Yes, we believe in the strong value of the American dollar.

Yes, we contribute to the best of our ability.

Yes, if we had more money then we’d give more.

Yes, January 2014, we got rid of ten ($10,000) thousand dollars in personal debt set aside from our own “personal” expense fund rather than our personal ‘case study’ annual “household” budget.

Yes, in April 2014, we purchased a backyard fence for about seven ($7,000) thousand dollars. (The ideal fence that I wanted came out to an estimate of about twelve ($12,000) thousand dollars, however, not on ‘thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars’ per annual “household” budget.)

Yes, in May 2014, we purchased a faucet only (not a sink) for about one ($1,000) thousand dollars. (The ideal faucet that I wanted came out to an estimate of about five ($5,000) thousand dollars, however, not on ‘thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars’ per annual “household” budget.)

Yes, May 2014, we purchased a 2013 new-used car for about fifteen ($15,000) thousand dollars (The ideal car that I wanted came out to an estimate of about ___,___,___ ($___,___,000) thousand dollars, however, not on ‘thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars’ per annual “household” budget.).

Yes, 2014, we travelled each and every month (more or less.)

Yes, 2014, we bi-annually replaced our work clothes which came out to about five hundred ($500.00) dollars each.

As of September 2014, we purchased boots and ‘long johns’ and hats and gloves to carry us into this winter 2014-2015.

We just purchased tennis shoes (October 2014) as well, which we do shop for bi-annually.

Yes, early fall 2014 we began to purchase designer casual work clothes.

It’s a tremendous challenge to make annual purchases on thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per annual “household” budget yet we do ever so beautifully with it.

One practically has to be a saint to live on thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per yearly annual “household” income salary and don’t forget taxes, either, because there goes at least one third (1/3) of those paychecks.

It’s almost December 2014, and we’ve spent close to thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars of our personal and private ‘case study’ “household” annual budget.

We made it through another “scrooge” ‘Upper Middle Income Earning’ yearlong budgetary numbers. (We made it! We’re so ‘cool.’) (We’re a two adult taxpaying (2014) household working two full-time jobs, work and careers while ‘bringing home bacon,’ forty (40) hours per week, mostly year round.)

We purchased and bought just about everything we meant to this year, plus some.

*****

In the new year we mean to purchase a quiet ‘state of the art’ dishwasher and a large shed and sound proof the entire house and have some work done to a basement wall and fence-in the front yard and next year we’ll get a garage installed.

Little by little we’re making it through this domestic personal ‘case study’ project that takes up time and money.

We’re glad to be able to make it on such small amount of money considering how much tougher other Americans have it than we do.

We got lucky in life thus we give thanks and praise to our Gods for keeping us safe and in ultimately alright health.

We don’t know how other Twin Cities’ Families of Four (4) ‘make it’ or ‘live on’ a meager annual income salary of thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars per year.

The only way that we know how to ‘make it’ on an annual “household” budget for two and a pet is to spend our money wisely and carefully yet have fun with what we purchase or if we can’t find what we’re looking for then we might choose to make anything with our own two bare hands because we’re like that.

It’s nice to know that we have economic ‘safety’ nets, and even so, we do our very best not to exceed or go over our strictly set annual “household” budget of thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars so that we may honor our personal ‘case study’ to the best of our ability as a married couple.

Since most parents can’t either cut out food or clothing or gas or mortgage payments or electricity or water and sewage bills or phone or personal debt or anything else for that matter on a meager thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars before tax per year then we decided not to either because that’s the stark reality for most Twin City’s Families.

Yes, we live on thirty eight ($38,000) thousand dollars as a strictly set “household” budget for the basis of a personal and private ‘case study.’ In modern economics.

In our personal “case study” we wanted to learn and discover the stark reality of most Minnesota Twin Cities Metro Area Americans’ economic reality as well as adhere to compassion and understanding for what our fellow Americans have and still do endure because while most of our Twin Cities’ ‘Lower-Middle Income Earning’ citizens salaries’ have stayed more or less the same or slightly declined within the past decade; We’ve ‘gone on’ and become ‘Upper-Middle Income Earning’ “richer” than we ever expected to be in our wildest dreams, that we would or could imagine in this modern economy (2014) to see our nation economically rise within the past recent seven (7) years even though Americans lost everything through two recessions within one decade (2007-2014.)

*****

Finally, ‘we made it,’ after many years of national economic recovery and personal debt dwindling down to almost nonexistent personal debt (2014).

Yes, I’m proud to be a mature considerate American adult who puts ‘her money where her mouth is’ as well as display real moral courage to grasp at any real understanding for what exactly our fellow country’s men and women have and do work with and do go through.

Yes, I’m excited to know and to find out that both Eric and I can and do ‘make it’ on very “little” amount of money (per se, by global standards 2014) if we had to because sometimes life’s hard and it throws one ‘curve balls.’

Yes, we’ve made short and long term economic commitments to all types of people we personally (non-sexually) mentor about professionalism in the workplace, and it is they, who’ve proven to be mainly “good” and “just” and “wise” and “kind” professionals yet fallen on ‘hard times’ still hardworking and smart and clean and caring about the environment as well as their living grandparents and agriculture and politics and economics and, and, and...

Yes, we believe in mentorship programs in which starting out professional entrepreneurs in any given industry respectfully in a non-sexual way or manner or conduct “meet” to talk about any person’s’ professional ideals and dreams about how to best maneuver and guide one’s career while over the years as parties regularly meet monthly to ask questions or lend guidance through “bias” mentor wisdom or to bestow disciplined ways to best globally communicate then trust and wisdom are exchanged within multigenerational or multicultural or multiracial societies then knowledge’s equally shared because no one can neither ‘make up’ facts nor disguise evidence nor ‘buy up’ science.

Artistic Side Note:

There’s no greater equation than that of mathematics and science combined to create art. Wow. Blown away at the mere thought that art is an equation that has an outcome.

Mentorship’s the most difficult aspect to maneuver as any respectful and mature and responsible adult private citizen because what’s there to say to any person of any age now entering the work force towards the latter part of 2014. (I don’t have any words at this moment. I’ll think about it.)

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,103

Word Count: 2,667

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 5,567

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #255 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #7 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #2 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #2 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

*) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four and a half (24.5”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Monday, November 3, 2014

“Rather give charity to a cripple than to a needy scholar.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Postulated (assumed, taken for granted)

His proof is postulated upon certain maxims.

--- --- ---

Introductory:

Chapter 1.

Page 28

Those who would think slightingly of the importance of good manners should read Emerson, who says; “When we reflect how manners recommended, prepare and draw people together; how, in all clubs, manners make the members; how manners make the fortune of the ambitious youth; that, for the most part, his manners, marry him, and for the most part, he marries manners; when we think what keys they are, and to what secrets; what high lessons and inspiring tokens of character they convey; and what divination is required in us for the reading of this fine telegragh,---we see what range the subject has, and what relations to convenience, form and beauty. The maxim of courts is power. A calm and resolute bearing, a polished speech, an embellishment of trifles and the art of hiding all uncomfortable feelings are essential to the courtier…. Manners impress, as they indicate real power. A man who is sure of his point carries a broad and contented expression, which everybody reads; and you cannot rightly train to an air and manner except by making him the kind of man of whom that manner is the natural expression. Nature forever puts a premium on reality.”

--- --- ---

Hello.

Midterm Elections

2014

Yes, governor Mark Dayton gets my vote.

Yes, senator Al Franken gets my vote.

Yes, representative Keith Ellison gets my vote.

Yes, ‘write-in’ city councilor candidate Dave Mathias

(got my vote earlier this morning.)

Yes, tomorrow we vote in the Midterm Elections 2014.

Yes, we feel confident and competent heading into the polls.

“Yes” and “Yes” is our city’s memorandum vote.

Of course, increase our property taxes over a span of time then property taxes go up for a vote again.

Of course, set aside a city wide educational budget for technological studies advancement in curricula.

*****

The beauty about history is that hence we learn the value and meaning of, or, about history then we’re not doomed to repeat history because we’re smart enough as a species to correct our past wrongs. Correct? Wrong.

For some reason humans continue to make the same miserable mistakes as they mostly always have.

What is it about the human species that’s either compelled or ‘gets stuck’ in the wrong gear of decision and choice making?

What’s it about humans that reject teachable moments and disregard wisdom?

No, as voters, we don’t ever assume to know as to what’ll take place when it comes to mass voting and elections.

Yes, I’d like to believe that anything can happen during any election or Midterm election or otherwise.

Yes, I’d like to think that the “Democratic” or “Independent” Party has a good chance (like any other party) to “represent” in the House or Senate for the purpose to set in place “humanitarian” “kind” and “friendly” “policies” rather than to reelect “Republican” (GOP) political candidates that most likely will ‘choke the very life’ out of hardworking families especially families from “Lower-Middle Income Earning” economic backgrounds.

Why aren’t corporations investing in whichever local communities since corporations are now “legally” considered “individuals” and don’t individuals care about where they live and what happens to natural habitats? Yep.

No, we haven’t ‘kept up’ with all of the ‘mean’ or ‘cruel’ or ‘deceitful’ negative political campaign advertisements (correction) because that’s enough to give anybody a headache for a good few hours.

Yes, this summer and fall 2014 we once more ‘shut out’ all of the noise and sound and made our health and healthy lifestyle a priority.

Yes, we did most of our political homework and research as we head into the voting booth tomorrow to cast our ballot.

Yes, we’re very excited to vote in tomorrow’s Midterm election 2014 as we normally are happy and have been happy to vote in Midterm elections for the past twenty years (or more) because local governance is far more important or essential and closer to the ‘heart of matters’ than Washington D.C. ever is.

Yes, electing qualified officials to take a seat and hold down official elected public office as public servants is difficult to do at the best of times because it’s up to any human to know how to properly conduct themselves especially when candidates take public office and if their heart and mind and body and spirit and soul aren’t in the “right” place then such public servants may continue to either make things worse for hardworking hungry private citizens and citizens or utterly and totally and completely decimate American morals and values at the core of matters by allowing for men and women and children to starve under our Republic’s governance or mostly make “everything” better (economically) for almost “everyone” and concentrate on science and mathematics and facts.

Yes, I do think that to hold the greatest honor and privilege in the land is fantastical and that honor and privilege happens to be “voting.”

To vote is as free and as wise and as mature and as kind as “a” way for people’s truest selves are intended to be.

No, Americans no longer vote with their pocketbooks.

Yes, Americans now vote with their tablets in the sense that and as a specific example: that tomorrow’s referendum question will be all about the meaningful prospect to vote “yes” to increase our property taxes so that we might increase our city’s technological academic bright future by putting more money into our public schools and education. (Hooray! We’re all about those two memorandum questions on our city’s ballot.)

In other words: people are educated about voting more so now then in the 1980’s or 1990’s because one’s capable to go online (internet) and physically view a copy of one’s local ballot. Incredible.

Yes, we look forward to putting on clean shirts and dress properly for the occasion and with a mature outlook and with impeccable manners make our way through one of our most public and dignified gestures of human civilization: To reserve the right and the freedom to vote peacefully without any military force or violence.

Yes, as Americans we must not ever take for granted the one freedom that most of the developing countries fight and maim and torture and kill others over: The freedom to vote so that global citizens, too, may make their own decisions and meet their nations’ destinies to flourish and advance as tech savvy and innovative nations willing to open up to new global markets.

Yes, as Americans we must give thanks for the grand opportunity to take a stance and proudly go to those voting booths and let our voice silently be known and heard as we cast the singularly single most significant gesture of all humanity: The freedom to have a voice in a conversation in which all things matter completely because our local elections matter.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,500

Word Count: 2,900

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 10,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,900

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #254 without sugar: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #6 without a cigarette: It’s alright. I like it.

*) Week #2 without stress: I love it.

*) Week #2 work on 298 cholesterol. I love vegan food.

) Month #3 BMI is “overweight.” I love a twenty four and a half (24.5”) inch waist.

(Professional ballerinas tell me that they have twenty seven and a half (27.5”) inch waists, August 2014. Wow.)

Personal Notes:

We shan’t mention any names because it would be imprudent to do so.

Yes, one (1) million (straight numbers, no “inflation” or “fluctuation”) private citizens across the world read this daily blog.

(We know, We know. It might be more or less by now. We don’t factually know. The last time we read an engineer’s ‘spec sheet’ it read one million per yearly (annual) return in readers and audience members and audience appreciators. (Thanks.)

Now, who knows?

Those stats were from May 2013.

Who knows what May 2014’s stats read?

We’re soon to find out.

We barely keep up with an annual readout.

No, we haven’t received any readouts as of yet this year November 2014, it’s been six months since our last readout and we’re already into 2015 for all work related aspects.

(We’ve got to get around to those numbers. I know everything happens right before year’s end closeout.) Right. Yep.

*****

Two weeks ago.

When a close and personal friend visited town, after lunch, we walked across the street and went to “my” favorite coffee shop ‘in the world’ (no, I don’t ever hang out there) and sat down for a single shot of espresso mid afternoon cappuccino and my friend sat down for a large chocolate latte.

To my deepest embarrassment and out of sheer terror as of today, I corrected my mistake and texted and explained to my friend my real first ‘lapse in memory’ and then specifically and directly in simple words corrected and exchanged my former incorrect statement for what actually did happen and I didn’t tell a single lie because other people could backup my almost every single word, I write here, because they were present at the time, not that any of this matters because of “statute of limitations”.

My friend understands because in the corrected storyline, I truly, portray myself as the donkey’s “rear end” that I was at the age of seventeen (17) in the fall of 1995.

Yes, I misspoke out of sheer and utter mistake, I told my friend an incorrect story in public over coffee due to “faulty memory” (literally, nothing more and nothing less).

No, I didn’t “lie” to my friend because as soon as I realized my mistake I got on the horn and made things right. My friend acknowledged my sincerest apology. He did. I’m ever so grateful.

No, I don’t have “dementia.”

No, I don’t have “Alzheimer’s.”

No, I haven’t gone “senile.”

Simply telling incorrect parts of the story was a simple “lapse in memory” because to my friend I used my incorrect recollected memory to tell him a “backwards juxtaposed story” from my viewpoint as if though I were the one causing the action in some scene, yet how it actually happened was that I was the one who received a lecture (in real life and in real time) instead of ‘handing out’ a lecture which I do my very best to stay as far away from lecturing anyone on any subject matter as much as possible because it’s rude.

So, today, I texted and explained to my friend, that when I was seventeen (17 years of age in 1995) right after ‘I’ broke up with my friends’ friend’s best friend in (1995) who was then my ‘boyfriend’ at that time shortly after our breakup, we separated, and for that remainder and following year (or six months) we didn’t ever see much of each other over some idiotic and stubborn fight or other.

(We were young and that’s what happens when people date different people.)

(No, I have no clue as to what ever happened to the young man I dated.

No, I don’t ever ‘look up’ people from my past unless it’s an emergency (life or death) or an open invitation to get together anytime in the future before we die from old age.)

My adult mature friends know that “an open invitation” means let’s get together sometime before we die. (Okay.)

How could I tell a story and tell its juxtaposed position backwards?

What.

How does that happen?

Weird.

No, I don’t feel like I’m going “senile.”

*****

Okay, so two weeks ago in person, I told my friend, that when I was seventeen (17, 1995) I had “rejected” my friend’s friend, and didn’t want to date my friend’s friend at that time, however, I did want to date my friend’s friend (truly) and I was the one who got rejected by my friend’s friend, however, before my friend’s friend did reject me my friend’s friend lectured me on the fine points about... Oh, well. Big deal. It happens in life.

How things actually happened and unfolded was that it was my friend’s friend who rejected me and my friend’s friend didn’t want to date me after my friend’s friend’s best friend and I broke up. (Oh, boy. Did I ever get the lecture of my life as anyone ought to have however lectures are only done by one’s closest friends.)

Yes, I completely forgot that I’d ever even dated my friend’s friend’s best friend. What.

How does that happen to a woman in her life. (It does. It happens. We forget even men who make an impact on us when they do.)

Whatever. I got over it. The young men and I went our separate way and that’s that. There isn’t much more to the story. (That was nearly twenty years ago now.)

*****

Furthermore, I made a brief cultural correction and distinction and explained to my friend that: Modern women do speak about the “price” and “value” and “worth” of objects because women aren’t our Grandparents’ era any longer.

It’s no longer considered “vulgar” to openly speak about “money” either in “public” or in “private” because money’s something to be respected (no, not revered) and also acknowledge that money is filthy dirty (literally.)

In conclusion: I had to also make another further sincere apology to my brother (non-sexual friend) for assuming that he’s an “MTV generation” man because he doesn’t consider himself as part of that generation and I didn’t dare ask my friend’s age.

Although generations are normally broken into age groups or age categories by decades or so. My friend could be on the cusp. I did wonder if my friend grew up in our “X generation.”

Since, my friend is friends with people my age then that must mean that my friend is my same age. I didn’t put two-and-two together until just now. Oh, my Gods. Now, I just want to climb under the furniture. I thought my friend was in his late forties. (Oh, no.)

My friend knows that I shan’t ever lie to him and if I mistakenly do then it’s only because I’d get facts turned around yet I’ll correct incorrect information as soon as I discover or learn differently.

My friends know perfectly well that I don’t go around and tell lies. They know better. And if I do tell blatant lies then it’s only to teach a stinging lesson to those involved.

My friend loves me so much and I love my friend so much.

No, I don’t always get my friend, however, I do understand and respect that my friend survived 1980’s punk gang wars here in Uptown, Minneapolis.

My friend’s got my respect because we’ve worked side-by-side and my friend’s saved my life (literally) on three different separate occasions thus I owe it to my friend not to ever lie to him no matter what if I can help it thus I shall do my very best to do well by my friend and shan’t lie to him because I’ve got absolutely no reason to lie to my brother because I love him as only a brother could be loved. (Non-sexual Love.)

--- --- ---

Personal Notes:

Yes, we had an amazingly chill and relaxed Friday night respectfully handing out candy to little kids and their parents from eight to nine at night then we ‘closed up shop’ and the house went dark.

We went downstairs and snacked on some Halloween candy, had actual supper, caught up with news media, relaxed, bathed and went to bed.

Yes, we participated in the festivities and had a few pieces of candy ourselves because it was nearly impossible to pass up those peanut butter cups.

Yes, since February 2014, both Eric and I made a most vitally important decision to quit and give up all sugar, however.

In our pact, we decided that we’d celebrate annual holidays and birthdays with a little bit of candy or sweets or cake as a treat once in a while.

This morning Eric met with our God-daughter’s mother over breakfast and we sent Eric off with half a bag full of candy so that we didn’t continue to snack on the candy throughout the week and so that our little God-daughter knew that we’re thinking about her.

Mostly all of the children and teens who came through here on Friday night we’re extremely well behaved with remarkable manners and great and excellent and creative costumes. The kids did look great. It’s so much fun to see the beautiful little faces of all of those trick-or-treaters.

This year we purchased fifty ($50.00) dollars worth of candy. Candy was ever so inexpensive this year compare to other more recent past years.

‘We went to town’ and still had half a bag filled with candy as of this very morning. (We hand out the ‘good stuff’.)

--- --- ---

Personal Heath Notes:

No, I’m not “mentally ill.”

No, I’m not “chemically imbalanced.”

No, I’m not “hypothyroidism” or “hyperthyroidism.”

Yes, I’ve been “chemically balanced” for the past twenty (20) (plus some) years of having medical blood work done for my health.

Yes, the only chemical off balance is my cholesterol (298).

Yes, what we just discovered is that even on the birth control my body’s constantly and always “tricking” itself to believe that it’s pregnant thus we just increased my birth control dosage to an entire pill per day.

Yes, it’s awesome to find out that all of the chemicals are balanced in my body minus the cholesterol.

Yes, It’s absolutely awesome to find out that I’m not “mentally ill.”

However, it’s been quite difficult to find out, that even on the birth control pill my body still continues to trick itself into pregnancy hormones (not as strongly as it used to be, however) thus we must stay on the birth control pill for as long as we can or until either I have a hysterectomy done (which like hell or, or, or) or I get pregnant and successfully bring a fetus to full term within the next three years, however. My health isn’t very good right now.

My main medical practitioner told me on Friday that if I continue to hemorrhage as I have in the year 2014 then she’ll have to send me to the hospital for a blood transfusion because my hemoglobin is low.

(Like hell, if I’m getting a blood transfusion into my bloodstream.)

I just won’t tell the Doc ever again if I hemorrhage or not.

What a spoiled brat that I am. Yep.

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